This book, more than any of my earlier projects, was a group effort. I interviewed more than a hundred women in person, on the phone, and by e-mail. Their honesty and generosity informed and inspired me. My researchers, Taylor Lannamann, Sarah Levy, and Nicole Starczak, dug up information that made this book better. I am grateful. Lynn Dolnick, Mary Weiss, Sam Kaviar, Dr. Pauline Maki, Dr. Darren Croft, and Dr. Deborah Giles helped me understand animals and human animals.
Thanks to my family and my many friends who supported this book for their enthusiasm and their input: David Steinke, Lauren Steinke, Jonathan Steinke, Nicole LaRosa, Ann Williams, René Steinke, Jill Eisenstadt, Will Blythe, Natalie Standiford, Idra Novey, Elissa Schapell, Rebecca Godfrey, Douglas A. Martin, Bobby Abate, Susan Wheeler, Shelley Jackson, Rob Sheffield, Elizabeth Schmitz, Mitchell Kaplan, Marnie Weber, Bronwyn Keenan, Ben Hudson, Eric Weiner, Jeffrey Greene, Nora O’Connor, Rick Moody, and especially Elizabeth Mitchell. Biz helped me find the form for this book. A special thanks to my father, the Reverend Paul Steinke: his model of curiosity, empathy, and enthusiasm has been a blueprint for my creative and intellectual life.
Thanks to everyone at FSG: my heroic copy editor, Maureen Klier, and production editor, Susan Goldfarb; also Benjamin Rosenstock and Colin Dickerman. Colin took on this project with a commitment I deeply appreciate. A giant thanks to the great Sarah Crichton, my courageous editor—she is the post-reproductive pod leader I hope to be following for years to come. Kathy Daneman, publicist extraordinaire, helped me get the word out. At the Wylie Agency, to Sarah Chalfant and Jin Auh. Jin has stood by me and my books as a supporter, friend, and confidante for nearly twenty years. Princeton University offered support for research, and the Whiteley Center at the Friday Harbor Labs on San Juan Island gave me a space both to commune with the Southern Resident whales and to write. To my husband, Mike Hudson, who from this book’s inception helped me define and clarify my ideas: you supported me with your presence, your care, and your awesome skills as an investigative reporter and an editorial genius. And finally, to my daughter, Abbie Jones, whose fierce millennial feminism continues to challenge and inspire me. In many ways, I wrote this book for you and for your generation.