“How’d things go with your ball and … Sorry, I meant with your wife over the weekend?” Tom asked when Vic got into his truck Monday morning.
“Not well. Eleanor wants me to go to an AA meeting and get some counseling as well.”
“You gonna do it?”
Vic gave a vigorous shake of his head. “No way! I’m not about to hang my dirty laundry out in front of people I don’t even know. And if my wife thinks that talking to a counselor would help, she’s wrong. No one and nothing is gonna convince me that I’m not the one responsible for my brother’s death.”
Tom’s brows furrowed, but he didn’t say anything. Vic figured his buddy either didn’t understand his reason for drinking or had been dealing with issues of guilt himself. Maybe he felt responsible for the breakup of his marriage and drank heavily to deal with it. If that was the situation, Vic could certainly understand. Whatever the case, it didn’t matter. He and Tom both had their own crosses to bear, and they each had their own reasons for turning to alcohol to help numb the pain. Vic didn’t care for the dry mouth, twitchy muscles, and fatigue he often felt the day after he’d had too much to drink. He didn’t enjoy the slurred speech and impaired coordination when he was drunk, but he liked the mellow, no-care feeling he got after downing a few beers. Even so, Vic knew that his marriage was in jeopardy, so he had to think of something to do that would get him back in Eleanor’s good graces. He just hadn’t figured out yet what it should be.
An hour after Vic left for work, Eleanor hitched Buttons to her buggy and headed down the road to see their bishop and his wife. It was time to let them know what was really going on with Vic and see if they had any suggestions or a contact number for Alcoholics Anonymous somewhere in Lancaster County. If Vic found out, he’d be angry, but Eleanor had to take that risk. Her biggest concern at the moment was not whether the bishop and his wife would keep what she said confidential, but whether Vic could be talked into going for help.
Eleanor’s back became wet with perspiration as she drove the buggy. She wished it wasn’t necessary to go behind her husband and defy his wishes, but she was desperate. Things hadn’t changed with Vic, and his attitude toward her and their future child wasn’t at all loving. After this trip, she would need to tell his folks about the situation, or else they might find out through the Amish grapevine. Either way, things were probably going to get worse before they got better at home. At least Eleanor hoped they would improve. As much as she hated to admit it, Vic might never get help for his addiction. If that happened, she didn’t know what she would do.
Eleanor rolled her shoulders, trying to loosen the kinks and hoping she wouldn’t be a sweaty mess upon arriving at the Zooks’ place. At least it wasn’t a long trip there, and Button’s gait was a nice, easy trot. Vic’s and my future seems so up in the air right now, she thought. I can’t help but worry how all this will play out. If only my husband could understand my reasons for trying to get him some help.
She repositioned herself on the seat and tried to relax, but it was difficult. With everything that had been going on in her life, she felt stressed out most of the time. Her back and neck muscles often spasmed, her appetite had decreased, and the heartburn she’d often struggled with had increased. In addition to those things, Eleanor had difficulty sleeping throughout the night and would often wake up feeling unrested and out of sorts. She prayed often and tried not to worry, but it had become increasingly difficult to cope.
Eleanor thought about her last appointment with the midwife, Mary Weaver, who would deliver her baby. If everything went well, the delivery would take place at Eleanor and Vic’s home. Mary had mentioned that Eleanor’s blood pressure was slightly elevated and suggested that Eleanor get a blood pressure monitor and check it a few times each day. The midwife had also reminded Eleanor to eat regular, healthy meals, stay hydrated, and get plenty of rest. Eleanor promised that she would do all those things, but she didn’t mention the stress she’d been under due to Vic’s drinking problem and the disagreements that had stirred things up.
Eleanor urged her horse to go a little faster. Soon she hoped to have some answers to all her questions.
Strasburg
Ethan had been in his shop a short time when his friend Lloyd Schmucker showed up. He hadn’t seen Lloyd for a few weeks, since they were no longer in the same church district, and wondered if he’d come here to place an order for some item Ethan made in his shop.
After Lloyd entered the building, he approached Ethan with a hearty handshake.
“Good to see you, friend. It’s been a while.” Ethan smiled.
“It sure has,” the other man agreed. “Since the number of families in our church increased and we divided into two separate districts, I miss the opportunity to see you regularly.” Lloyd looked around the building, where multiple items sat ready to be sanded and stained. “Looks like you’re keeping plenty busy here.”
“Jah, I have enough work for both me and Stephen.”
“So where is that young man?”
“He went up to the house to get us some water and snacks.” Ethan chuckled and thumped his belly. “Gotta keep our energy up till it’s time to eat lunch.”
Lloyd grinned and fanned his face with the brim of his straw hat. “Feels like it’s gonna be a hot one. If it’s this warm during the month of May, I can only imagine what the summer months will bring.” Lloyd moistened his lips and cleared his throat a few times.
“Is there something I can help you with today?” Ethan asked. “Are you looking to buy a piece of lawn furniture or maybe a new doghouse for Rufus?”
Lloyd set his hat down on a bench and reached up to rub the back of his neck. “No, I … uh … came by to tell you something.”
Ethan tipped his head. “Oh, what’s that?” Poor fellow. He seems to be nervous about something.
“Well the thing is …” Lloyd paused and cleared his throat again. “Maybe I shouldn’t be saying anything, but if what I saw is true, then I thought you oughta know.”
“What did you see?”
“Well, last Friday, when my driver took me and my wife to the Walmart in Lancaster, on our way out of town, I saw an Amish man who looked like Vic, and he was with an English fellow.”
“Maybe it was Vic. He often does construction work in Lancaster, as well as many other towns in our county.”
“He wasn’t doing construction work when I saw him.” Lloyd picked up his hat and began fanning his face again.
Ethan couldn’t figure out why his friend seemed so jittery. It wasn’t like him at all. “Where did you see Vic and the man that was probably one of his coworkers?”
“They were coming out of one of the pubs in Lancaster. From the way they both staggered, it appeared that the men were intoxicated.”
Ethan lowered his gaze to the floor, focusing on a pile of sawdust near his feet. Could it be true? Was my son one of the men Lloyd saw on Friday? If so, I need to speak with Vic about this as soon as possible. He looked up at Lloyd and forced a smile. “It may have just been someone who resembled my son, but I’ll look into the situation, so danki for letting me know.”
“You’re welcome. I’m sure you would do the same for me if you ever saw one of my boys coming out of a pub in a bad way.”
“Jah, probably so.”
“Guess I’d better head out. I have a few errands to run, and then I need to get back to my variety store. I left my wife and one of our daughters in charge, and if they’ve gotten real busy, they will need my help.”
“I understand.” Ethan put his hand on Lloyd’s shoulder. “Before you go, I have a favor to ask.”
“Sure thing. What do you need?”
“Please don’t say anything to anyone else about seeing the Amish man who looked like Vic coming out of the pub. It may not have been him, and it wouldn’t be good if a rumor got started.”
Lloyd nodded. “I won’t mention it to anyone, and I’m sure my wife, Elsie, hasn’t said anything to anyone either.”
“You told her?”
“Jah. There are no secrets between me and her.”
“Could you please ask her to keep quiet about what you saw?”
“Of course.” Lloyd slapped his hat back on his head, gave Ethan one final handshake, and went out the door.
Ethan drew in a couple of deep breaths in an effort to calm himself. With all of his heart, he hoped the inebriated Amish man Lloyd saw coming out of that pub was not Vic. But he would know soon enough, because this evening, after supper, he’d be making a special trip to Paradise to have a talk with his son.
Paradise
Eleanor said a little prayer before she knocked on the Zooks’ door. She hoped they were home and would have some good advice, because she was desperate.
When Letty Zook answered the door, Eleanor felt relieved.
The older woman smiled and gave Eleanor a hug. “It’s nice you stopped by. I’ve been thinking about you and wondering how things are going with your pregnancy.”
Eleanor placed both hands against her bulging belly. “I’m quite tired and will be glad when the baby gets here.”
“I can imagine. And how are things with your husband these days?”
Eleanor swallowed hard. “Not good. That’s what I came here to discuss with you and Bishop Michael. Is he here?”
Letty shook her head. “No, I’m sorry. He’s not. My husband had some business to take care of today, and I don’t expect him home until close to suppertime.”
“Oh, I see.” Eleanor’s chin trembled. “Vic and I are … Well, we’re having some serious problems, and I—I need to talk to the bishop.”
“Please come into the living room and take a seat. If you’d like to talk to me about it, I’m more than willing to listen. Maybe there’s something I can do to help.”
“Thank you.” Eleanor followed Letty into the next room and seated herself in an overstuffed chair. The muscles in her back had tightened again, and she hoped the comfort of the soft cushions might help her feel more relaxed.
Letty took a seat in the rocker and soon got the chair moving gently back and forth. “What’s been happening with you and your husband that has brought you here for a talk?”
Eleanor began by telling the bishop’s wife about Vic’s drinking problem and how it had gotten worse since she’d become pregnant.
“I am sorry to hear that. When did it first begin?” Letty asked.
“After his little brother drowned in our pond. As you know, Vic took Eddie’s death hard and blamed himself for not teaching his brother how to swim when he asked. He’s also felt guilty for not keeping a closer eye on him when he was in our care. But then, I didn’t watch Eddie close enough that day either, so Vic might blame me too, although he’s never said so.” Eleanor paused, struggling to hold back the sob rising in her throat. “And now because of all that, Vic believes he will not make a good father.”
Letty sat, as though mulling things over. Then she stopped rocking, leaned slightly forward, and said, “Your husband needs to do four things.”
“What are they? I’m eager to know.”
“First of all, he should acknowledge the fact that he needs help. Second, Vic should either come here to see Michael for counseling or talk with someone outside of our community who is a Christian and has been trained to help people who have been unable to deal with their guilt from past mistakes. He also needs to get help for his drinking problem, which could come from becoming involved with a program like Alcoholics Anonymous or a similar group.”
“And what is the fourth thing Vic needs to do?”
“Get right with God. That’s the most important. First by confessing his sins, and then by asking the Lord’s forgiveness. Also, he needs to want to quit drinking.”
“Vic doesn’t read the Bible at home anymore, and he appears to be bored when we’re at church.” Eleanor paused to gather her thoughts. “I’ve suggested AA meetings and counseling, but Vic is against those things. He keeps saying he can quit on his own, but he’s tried before and failed.”
“That is because he has never gotten to the root of his problem, and acknowledging that he has a problem is the first step.”
“How do I get him to do that?”
“You probably can’t. Not on your own.” Letty picked up the Bible lying on the small table beside her chair. “Let’s see what God’s Word says we should do when we can’t solve a problem by ourselves.” She opened the Bible and, after thumbing through several pages, read, “ ‘The eyes of the Lord are over the righteous, and his ears are open unto their prayers.’ That’s First Peter 3:12.” She looked at Eleanor over the top of her reading glasses and smiled. “Prayer is the answer. Whenever we are faced with a problem, we are to take it to the Lord in prayer.”
“I have been praying,” Eleanor responded. “But so far, nothing has changed. Vic is still drinking, and it’s affecting our marriage more every day.”
“But you’ve come humbly here today, unburdening yourself and trusting me with the whole truth. That is a positive step in the right direction. Now our prayers will be direct, and my husband can focus on helping Vic get better.” Letty put the Bible down, got up, and came to stand next to Eleanor’s chair. “Continue to pray, and I shall tell Michael about your visit when he gets home. I’m sure he will make it a priority to schedule a meeting with Vic, and then we’ll see where things go from there.”
Tears streamed down Eleanor’s face, and she nearly choked on a sob. “Danki for allowing me to share my burden with you.” She stood up and gave Letty a hug. “And thank you for reminding me of what the Bible says about prayer.”
“You’re welcome. Now I’m going to the desk in my husband’s study and get you the contact information we have about where the local AA and Al-Anon meetings are held.”
Eleanor’s eyes widened. “You have that?”
“Jah. In addition to a few older people struggling with alcohol addiction, we’ve dealt with drinking issues among several of our young people going through rumschpringe, and it helps to be prepared.”
Letty left the room and returned shortly with a piece of paper that she handed to Eleanor. “Here you go.” She gave Eleanor’s arm a tender squeeze. “I’ll be praying for you and your husband.”
“I appreciate it. And now I need to pray that Vic will be open to whatever your husband suggests.”