The next morning Karina was still upset. Even her beloved cats hadn't helped much, stalking around her in disdain. She'd cuddled and cried over them, before hauling them, still indignant, to bed with her.
Once snuggled in, all she could think about was Brian. He was so forceful. He handled everything expertly. She couldn't stop watching the way he controlled the car last night, coaxing it to perform the way he wanted. He was so careful, his touch so sure. The same way he'd handled her body so long ago. Chills ran up and down her spine. Passionate memories made her shiver in delight.
This morning she'd emailed Mark, making sure he knew about the flowers and threatening note. She'd been blunt, letting him know just how scared she was for them. Mark had answered within the hour. He was planning to talk to Brian.
Then she'd emailed Susan. The response was still on her computer screen:
Did he kiss you goodbye?
Typical romantic question. Karina had tried to write a reply several times, but the answer only upset her. Because of course, no, he hadn't kissed her goodbye. Whether he'd wanted to or not didn't matter because she hadn't given him a chance. She'd been too upset over the flowers. She'd grabbed her bags and walked inside—alone.
Earlier she'd bitten the bullet and sent Brian a note via email, thanking him for the ride. She'd kept it short but friendly and added her phone number. Now it was a question of waiting to see if a response came.
The phone rang and Karina's heart jumped into her throat. It couldn't be Brian already, could it?
"Karina? How was it?"
Cat. Karina laughed, the sound tinged with both disappointment. "Oh my God! It was unbelievable." The words tumbled freely for the next half hour as she caught her friend up on the remainder of the weekend. Karina chose to deliberately focus on the positives, leaving out Ian and his strange behavior.
When she hung up, her mood was lighter and happier than it had been all day. That was what friends were for.
Several hours later, she lugged her heavy grocery bags into the elevator, slumping against the back wall. It was amazing how exhausted a person could be after doing absolutely nothing for an entire day. Finally, she'd had to just get out for a bit, and had run to the store to pick up coffee beans. Somehow that had turned into three full bags of food. Nothing made sense today.
She checked her phone messages to find one call but the caller had hung up. Disappointed that there was no message from Brian, she decided to put on coffee.
Rejuvenated by the caffeine hit, she first checked to see if Brian had answered her email. He hadn't. However, Susan was up and running. She'd made several phone calls to gather information, even garnering Paul's support for the business idea.
Now it was Karina's turn to do some fun stuff. Her fingers danced across the keyboards as she started her research, focusing first on educational materials for elementary schools.
The next few hours flew by as she started forming a picture. She'd kept a running tab of products on her notepad adding up stock for the store. The end of her pencil was becoming well chewed as she gnawed on different questions. Cash versus credit? What to buy? What would sell? She needed to talk to someone, but whom? She thumbed through her local phone book. She found two possible stores that she could call tomorrow. That was all she could do for now.
Even in a hot bubble bath, her head ached from the incessant number crunching. Covered from her bright red toenails to her chin in warm soothing water, she let the never ending internal monologue slow and finally ease to a stop.
The phone rang while she was in the bath. She considered running to catch it, then realized intuitively she'd never make it. When she was out of the tub and warm and dry in her pjs, she checked the phone. Again, no message. Probably another telemarketer.
Making herself a cup of tea, she turned back to the store idea. It felt like the right thing to do. She trusted her intuition. That same voice had warned her about Ian, and she'd certainly been correct there. She didn't know yet in what way or form this business idea would play out, but she was willing to see where it would take her.
And she still missed Brian. Over the weekend, she'd developed a sixth sense where he was concerned. Now, she felt like an amputee. Could you feel phantom pain for the loss of an internal presence?
Maybe he'd call—it was still early for some people. Then again, maybe he wouldn't.
There was only silence.
By the end of the next day, Karina was dying to talk to Susan.
"Susan, is that you?" She jammed the phone between her ear and shoulder. Catalogues surrounded her and reams of sheets filled with figures covered her. Mugs had tried sleeping on her lap, only to give up in disgust. Misty, the smarter of the two, had stayed away from the beginning.
"Karina. You're never going to believe what I found today!" Susan's voice bubbled in a continuous stream over the phone. "The perfect location! It's in the same block as my sister's store. Even better, there used to be an excellent toy store there years ago. Even my sister agrees it'd be perfect. It is big, though and I was worried about that to start, but I spoke with the property owner, who owns close to half of buildings in that mall…"
"Oh, but—"
She never got a chance. Susan ran right over her.
"He's interested in seeing another toy store going in there…" The words poured through the line, contagious even over the phone. "In addition, it has a decent bathroom and a good-sized office. It's perfect. We'd need to get paint and some shelving but I think this is definitely it." Susan ended the sentence with a loud whoosh of breath.
Karina started to laugh. "I phoned you," Karina said in between her giggles, "to tell you that I found a wonderful store owner who gave me a huge list of suppliers to deal with. In addition, she sent me home loaded with catalogues to go through. She was fantastic. She gave me advice, hints, tips and shared lots of her start-up woes."
There was silence on the other end of the phone. Susan's voice came across, soft and subdued. "Karina, are we going to do this? Is this for real?"
"I think so. Yes. We still have things to sort out, lawyers to see, finances to arrange, but I really think we can do this."
Quiet reigned, as both women contemplated the big step before them.
"Susan, I think I'll go and talk to my bank manager tomorrow."
"At least then you'll know what your options are. Paul and I need to talk and maybe make an appointment at our bank, too. I honestly don't know where our finances are."
"We both have some thinking to do. The biggest decision is whether it's right for us. Down the road, if one of us wants out, the other could buy her out. But for the first couple of years we'd have to commit to this project together."
"True. Look, let's talk tomorrow after we've both sorted some of the logistics out and we'll see where we are then."
"Good idea. Tomorrow, then."
Karina looked down at the phone. Everything was happening so fast. It scared her, but it also excited her. In as little as six weeks, she could be living in a completely new world.
In the same city as Brian. And without Cat or Serena. She was meeting them both tomorrow at their old favorite lunch spot. The one they'd frequented across from the office building they'd all worked in—before they'd all been laid off.
She couldn't help see how much her life had changed. Was changing. And how much it was still going to change.
What was she getting into?
***
The bustle of the crowded restaurant hit Karina as soon as she stepped inside the door. The lunch crowd had already filled the popular fusion bar and restaurant. Hopefully her friends had arrived early otherwise there'd be no hope of snagging a table today. And she badly needed to sit down and recuperate. Talk about a shitty morning.
"Karina!"
Spotting a tall blonde waving madly at her from the back corner, Karina worked her way to the rear of the restaurant. She grabbed the single empty chair at the table and plunked herself down, so happy to get off her feet. "Hi, Cat. Serena. Wow is this place packed, or what?"
"Serena and I got here about twenty minutes ago," Cat said, tossing back her long blonde hair. She looked Karina over then wrinkled up her face. "You look like you've gone through the wringer. Bad morning?"
Karina laughed.
"I'm going to do it." There, she'd said it. She leaned forward and whispered. "I'm moving to Victoria and starting my own business. Well, a business with Susan."
Serena gasped. "Are you sure?"
Karina grinned at the blank looks on their faces. The shock didn't last long. In tandem both of the girls' faces lit up.
"Wow and double wow. I think we need more wine." Cat didn't waste any time, raising her arm to flag a passing waitress.
Affectionately, Karina studied her friends. Serena was…well, serene. She preferred the constancy and normalcy of routine. Cat, on the other hand, would have made a perfect action-movie heroine. She had so much presence she was hard to overlook. But it wasn't ego. Cat was all about self-confidence. "Yes, Serena I'm sure."
"This is about Brian, isn't it?"
"Yes and no. The business has nothing to do with him. Location also has nothing to do with him. Susan can't move, and I have no reason not to. The rest? Well…"
Cat lifted her goblet to clink with the other women's glasses. "Welcome to change!"
The others laughed and clinked before all taking big sips of wine. Serena chuckled. "Here I thought I was the only one that was at a turning point right now. I'm considering my own business too," she admitted. "Although I'm not going to be as fast at it as you, Karina."
The other two gaped at her.
"What?" Karina stared at her friend. "Why didn't you say so before?" she asked cautiously. She studied her friend's face for a moment, and suddenly knew. "A bookstore, I bet."
Serena smiled.
"In honor of your grandmother?" Serena's grandmother had passed away a year ago, leaving her a nice-sized inheritance. It had devastated Serena, who'd been raised by the older woman. And her grandfather had been an author before he'd passed on years ago.
That startled a laugh out of Serena. "You know me so well."
"Well, consider moving to Victoria to be close to me, then. If you can set up anywhere, Victoria is a great location."
Karina turned to raise a brow at Cat. "And you? What are your plans?" Karina considered how different each of their lives was. Serena, although not wealthy enough to do as she wished in life, had enough set aside from her grandmother to be able to live quite nicely for some time. Catherine, on the other hand, came from a wealthy family and had done government contracts in software security prior to her stint at BB Dominos Securities—where Karina had been in the accounting department.
Cat just smiled. "I'm thinking of doing something really crazy for a while. Not the rest of my life. Just a few months' hiatus."
Serena laughed. "Crazy is what I expect from you. Your brain is the most weird and wonderful thing imaginable. So what is it this time? Secret spy stuff? More high-level security contracts? What?"
As she watched her friend, Karina knew Cat wasn't going to give. She'd share when she was ready—maybe. She was perfect for secret spy stuff. That girl never gave anything away. "Just make sure it's safe, please."
The waitress arrived with another carafe of wine and filled their glasses.
"And this is about moving on with your life. New beginnings. And if that means dealing with our pasts in order to move on…" Cat held up her glass for another toast. "Then so be it. This is our time, now."
Her words held even more impact as forgotten stories of Cat's painful history resurfaced in Karina's mind. Cat had more than a few regrets, herself. Maybe she was planning on dealing with them now, too.
Karina raised her glass. "To change. Whether thrust upon us, chosen, or wanted, we've each reached a turning point in our lives. Let’s celebrate and raise a little hell as we walk drunkenly down our chosen paths."
With that, the three knocked back the rest of the wine in their glasses and refilled them once more.
***
She had her first nightmare that night.
Sweat soaked her skin as she lay shuddering to regain her breath. The new horrifying twist on her nocturnal reality terrified her. Logically, she understood what was happening, but that didn't help her emotionally.
Karina propped herself up on her pillows, determined to brush away her sense of helplessness. She could only think that somehow, this mess with Ian had gotten past her defenses to awaken her childhood fears.
Over the years, she'd grown a shell. Not a very thick shell, but one meant to keep out the hurts that life could inflict so indiscriminately. This awareness had developed the essence of who she was. The result was that now, as an adult, she genuinely liked herself. She didn't like many things about her life, hence part of her decision to attend the seminar, but she was happy with who she was on the inside. That had to be worth something.
She fell back asleep still pondering.
Hours later, the persistent ringing of the phone disturbed her heavy dreams.
"Hello?" Disoriented, Karina murmured sleepily into the phone.
Heavy breathing echoed over the line. Suddenly wide awake and filled with terror, she bolted upright. "Hello? Who is this?"
"What's the matter, Karina, don’t you remember me?"
The phone went dead.
Shit. Not a great way to start her morning.
She stared down at the handset as chills raced down her spine. She closed her eyes, wrapping her arms tightly around her chest. It was Ian. It had to be him. God, that man had given her the chills in university and he was even worse now. She didn't know how he'd gotten her phone number, but with the Internet these days anything was possible. The fact was he had it.
Now what did she do?
The phone rang again, startling her. She stared down around the room as if looking for answers. Should she answer? A flare of anger spiked through the fear. If it was Ian again, maybe the call could be traced or something.
"Karina?"
She gasped. "Brian?"
"Are you all right, Karina? You don't sound too good."
"No. I mean, yes. I'm sorry. I just had a disturbing call." She quickly told him about it. "Instinctively, I want to say it was Ian but I don't know for sure."
"And why would he call you?"
"I don't know," she admitted softly. "But he could have recognized me at the seminar."
There was a thoughtful pause on the line, she could almost see the wheels turning in Brian's head. "I'll call the police and tell them. You might get a call and you might not. At least they'll be in the loop."
"Thank you." And she meant it. She no longer felt so alone. An unruly yawn slipped out. "I had such a bad night and that was before this call."
"Nightmares?"
"Yes," she answered slowly, "Susan and I are making headway on opening a store together and it will mean a move to Victoria. Something I was looking forward to, but…"
"But it's a big change. A lot of upheaval in your life. Yes, I can see that might trigger nightmares."
"I'm female. Worrying is part of our general make-up." She laughed lightly to cover up the struggle to find the words to express what she wanted to say. "Brian…" her voice trailed off.
"What?"
"Do you think he could be really dangerous?"
"Ian is an unhappy soul and needs to accept the changes in his life. In that way, he's no different than you or me."
"You always seem to have it so together. It seems impossible that you could have anything to work on."
"Not true—everyone everywhere has something to work on. Just because I write books and teach seminars doesn't mean I don't have issues. If anything I'm more conscious of the issues and how much I do have to work on."
Karina winced. That had to be difficult to admit. "You must always be under pressure to be a little better than everyone else."
"Which, of course, I'm not. However, people see me in that light, which adds pressure, yes, but I can't let that rule my life. Any more than you can let Ian rule your life."
"I know," she answered soberly. "I guess I'm worried." Her voice dropped to a soft whisper. "I'm glad you called."
"Good. I called because I wanted to hear your voice." She could hear the smile in his voice. "Now tell me what you and Susan are up to."
Karina launched into their news, keeping the conversation focused on business and finishing on a friendly note. But when they hung up, Karina felt uneasy again. Mugs jumped on the bed, and Karina hugged him, petting him until rumbles filled the air. Still, it took a long while before she felt calm enough to sleep.
She wondered when she would feel completely safe again.
***
After that harrowing night, things moved at breathtaking speed.
It took several weeks for everything to fall into place. Several weeks in which she received three more suspicious, nerve-racking phone calls—all silent. Three more weeks of coffee dates with Serena, hashing over business stuff, and luncheons with Cat, and extracting promises out of both of them to come visit.
Now her apartment was empty, her car was packed, the cats caged and strapped in the passenger seat. She was almost ready to go.
Susan and Paul were expecting her this afternoon. They were going to work together over the next few crazy weeks. Opening day was in a month's time and they still had a lot to do. Cat and Serena were delighted for her. Besides, she reminded herself for the dozenth time, they weren't going to be that far away. Victoria was only a few hours' drive or a short flight. And who knew where they were going to end up? They'd both been secretive about their plans. She could only hope it worked out for them, too.
Mark had volunteered to help with the painting and handyman stuff. But that was Mark.
Brian hadn't voiced any negative opinions over her plans but he hadn't waxed enthusiastically either. She had the feeling he did things in a slower, more methodical way than she did. As if controlling every aspect of his life was important.
Karina was reminded just how much she loved change. Loved spontaneity. These last weeks had been cathartic. She felt so in charge of her life. Dynamic and strong in ways she never could have imagined.
The plan was to meet Mark at a Starbucks just inside Victoria. He was bringing her a city map and easy directions to Susan's place. She doubted that Brian would be there, but she hoped he would be. She wanted him to see the new and improved Karina.
What she really wanted to do was to walk right up to him and lay a kiss on him that he wouldn't soon forget. She might not have his sophistication to draw on, but she wasn't lacking in enthusiasm. The question was—had she changed enough to make such a bold move?
Hours later, she pulled her silver Toyota Matrix into the busy parking lot. She was exhausted. The cats had howled in tandem for the first hour. She'd tried to drown out their screeches by turning up the radio. But her eardrums had pounded back in retaliation. She'd given up and with the help of Tylenol she'd managed to ignore them.
She got out slowly, leisurely stretching her back and rolling her shoulders to loosen up the tension.
Was Mark here already? She was actually just a few minutes later than she'd expected.
She turned and scanned the area.
There was Brian! His car was backing out of a space behind her. His face turned away from her. She walked in front of his car to get his attention and then continued around to his side. His face lit warmed, a light coming into his beautiful eyes.
She'd come so far hoping to see him and here he was, leaving. Tired, she gave into the emotions overwhelming her.
She leaned forward in the car and slipped her hand down his cheek to cup his square jaw firmly, tilting it up towards her. She paused, looking at him closely. This face had driven her crazy for months. It was just as angled and gorgeous as she remembered. The chiseled lips opened to speak. Instantly, she took advantage and lowered her head.
She kissed him. Thoroughly.
***
There she was.
He lifted his cell phone and snapped a picture.
Click. And again. Click.
Ian grinned so wide it damn near hurt his cheek muscles. He'd guessed that one right. After seeing them at the seminar and recognizing her, he knew she mattered to Brian. Damn right, she did. Now that was a kiss.
And that reminded him of Mary. The last time he'd kissed her. So long ago. He loved her.
He missed her.
That she was continuing to keep him out of her life hurt. And angered him.
He'd searched her sister's place. There was no sign of her. Where could she have gone? Her boss said she'd taken time off work. Then again, so had he. He'd even finally broken down and called his mother-in-law. She'd hung up on him.
Bitch.
He stared at the other bitch—this one standing in his line of vision.
He'd called Karina several times, not to interfere, but to keep tabs on her whereabouts. Today he'd gotten an out-of-service message. He looked down at the folded poster on the passenger seat. He'd torn it off the public notice board at the library when he'd spotted her picture on it. She was involved with opening up some new toy store in town. He'd looked at it so many times he already had the store's address memorized.
If it was possible, he grinned even more widely. That meant she'd moved here now. Close to Brian.
He'd have to track down a new phone number for her, but that shouldn't be too hard.
And given that kiss she'd just laid on him, the two of them were an item.
Perfect.
Rejuvenated, with a feeling of new purpose in his life, Ian started up his car and backed out of the lot, careful to keep out of their sight and avoid attracting attention. He didn't want them to see him until he was ready to be seen.
Things had changed. And in a good way.
He owed Brian for having sicced the police on him, for them hassling him. Thankfully he had an alibi to give them. That time. Now to stay focused.
And maximize the damage.