Chapter 15
1985
The next morning Peter was woken early at his hotel by a phone call from the office. The Historical Society required documentation verified by an attorney stating the Zoning Adjustor had approved his variance and alterations to include the annex. Peter couldn’t believe such an oversight by his office—by him. He spent the next hour on the phone contacting his firm’s attorney and his assistant at home. He organized a meeting between his assistant and attorney so the Zoning Adjustor’s documentation could be authorized and validated, and then he arranged for it to be delivered by messenger to the Mayor’s office.
“Had to happen today, right?” Peter said into the phone to Jake just before he left the hotel.
“Did you get everything done?”
“Hopefully. By this time the attorney should be ready to sign, and the papers will be sent out immediately. Is Tara okay?”
“Amanda’s going over there in a bit.”
Peter sighed and ran his hand through his hair. “I’ve got to go, Jake.”
“Good luck, okay? I hope you get things straight with Maddy.”
“Thanks,” Peter said. “My time is running out.” He looked at his watch and calculated how many hours he needed. His flight was at eleven, and he had to be there an hour early.
He dropped his keys and wallet into his jacket pocket and hurried down the stairs instead of waiting for the elevator. He was relieved to see he was the only one in line to check out. At the entrance he stopped and ran back to the concierge, asked for a phone book, and thumbed through the M’s. There were eleven Marsdens, two T Marsdens, one Thomas Marsden, and the rest with no initials. He asked the concierge for a scrap of paper and wrote down the addresses and numbers of the three fairly close to Madeline’s school.
Once behind the steering wheel, he spread out the rental car map. His hotel was at least twenty minutes away from any of the addresses. He checked his watch again.
The first address was tricky, and it took him the full twenty minutes to get there, a new, clean neighborhood in a development where the homes all resembled one another. He pulled into the driveway, jumped out of the car, and ran to the door. He checked his watch as he rang the doorbell. After three attempts, he was turning back to his car when a woman he had never seen before answered the door, and barely a minute later he was in his car and accelerating back to the main road.
He ruffled his hair, approaching a busy intersection, and leaned in to read the cross street signs. “Sycamore Street.”
At the next light he stopped and laid the map directly on the steering wheel, fingered through a few cross streets, and finally located Sycamore. He checked his location and glanced at his watch again. He was easily ten minutes away, and with morning traffic he knew he’d never make it in time. When he was startled by horns, he realized the light had changed, and he tossed the map aside and stepped on the gas, opening his window to air out his shirt, stains growing under his arms and down his back.
Driving by St. Bartholomew’s School only a few minutes later gave him a jolt. “Maddy, you’re so close.” He pulled up and parallel-parked along the side of the school, got out, and ran to the gatehouse.
Before he reached the gate, Henry called out to him. “You’re back again, Mr. Michaels?”
The friendliness in his voice brought a smile to Peter’s face. “I am, Henry. I was wondering if you could help me.”
“I’ll try. You know the school is closed on Saturdays, right? What can I do for you?”
“I have to reach Ms. Marsden. Do you happen to have her address?”
“I’m sorry, Mr. Michaels. I wish I could help you, truly, I do. But we’re not allowed to give out personal information. I could lose my job.”
“I’m sorry I had to ask. I’m just in a bind and have to make my flight.”
“Would have liked to help. I think the world of Ms. Marsden. You have a great flight, you hear?”
Peter was about to cross the street when he heard a voice.
“Lancelot! Come back here!”
He whirled to see the gentleman with the German Shepherd, pipe in hand, waiting for his dog to sniff the base of a tree. “Excuse me, sir.”
“Yes? Do I know you?”
“You gave me directions through the school grounds the other day. I was looking for Ms. Marsden.”
“I remember. You’d been directed the long route to the office. Henry means well, but he’s set in his ways.” He laughed as he puffed on his pipe. “Did you find her?”
“Yes, I did, thank you. We talked for a long time. You wouldn’t happen to have any idea where she is today, would you?”
“I’m sorry, son. I know Ms. Marsden well, but not that well.”
“Sorry to bother you.” Peter turned, checked his watch, and cursed under his breath.
“Son, she can’t be far. She walks to school every morning with Boxer, and I heard her say her parents are walking distance from her as well.”
Peter exhaled and smiled toward the sky. “Thank you so much, sir.” Before the man had gotten Lancelot’s leash back on his neck, Peter was already in his car.
He slipped off his jacket. “Please be the right house.” The next address on his list was the closest to the school. After two stop signs, the road turned into a quiet neighborhood, and he parked across the street from a narrow two-story house that reminded him of the old brownstones of Boston, geraniums spilling from the window boxes.
He ran up the stairs and leaned in to ring the doorbell.
Ann Marsden appeared at the door. “Peter!”
Peter’s heart leaped. He hadn’t realized what it would mean to him to see her face again after so long. She had aged, but gracefully, easily mistaken for a woman in her early forties rather than approaching sixty. “I’m sorry to show up like this without warning. I need to speak to Madeline, Mrs. Marsden. Is she here?”
“I thought you might be coming. Why don’t you come in?”
Peter checked his watch. He had barely an hour.
Ann Marsden resembled Maddy in so many ways. Her hair was dark brown and shoulder length, her eyes pale green. She was elegant and self-possessed, her voice low, cautious, and controlled. Every cuff was turned, every crease ironed. Peter’s mother and father had often remarked on Ann Marsden and her signature pearls.
“Would you like a cup of tea? Coffee? I was just putting the kettle on.” Ann led him into the kitchen.
“I would love a glass of water.”
“Make yourself at home.”
He sat alongside a massive island, his head barely missing the copper pots that hung above. As she poured herself tea, she and Peter attempted to speak at the same time.
Ann laughed a little. “I have to say, Peter, your sudden appearance in our lives has caught us by surprise. We weren’t prepared for this. Madeline wasn’t prepared.”
“I didn’t come here to upset anyone, Mrs. Marsden, especially not Maddy. I just have a lot of unanswered questions, and I realize it’s taken me a long time to find the answers. It’s been so many years. I’d lost all hope.”
He heard the front door open, and Tom Marsden came up the stairs to the kitchen. He put down his keys, looked at Peter, and sighed.
Peter remembered the fathers in Chatham when he was young looking forward to Friday afternoons when they came home from work. They always took out their lawnmowers and mowed for an hour or so before huddling in the cul-de-sac for a beer and conversation. Only Tom Marsden was different. He came home, waved to the men, exchanged a few words, “Great day,” or, “How’s the family?” or, “Work’s good?” After a few moments, he retired inside for his usual cognac before dinner, watched a little of the news, and retreated into his study for the evening.
Peter looked at him and took a deep breath. “Before you say anything, Mr. Marsden, I’d like to tell you that you have misjudged my intentions.”
Tom frowned. “I doubt you know what I think, Peter.”
“I understand,” Peter said politely. “I’m not making excuses. It was hard for me, not knowing all these years why someone I loved so much would pack up and leave without saying good-bye. It never occurred to me Maddy was going through such an ordeal. Even after I saw her yesterday morning, it only made me angrier to realize she had gone through such a thing alone.”
“Young man, my daughter didn’t go through this alone. Her family was with her.”
“I know you all were with her.” Peter’s eyes pleaded with Tom. “But I wasn’t and I could have been. I could have helped you and helped her. I loved her! I’m not the type to desert someone I love in a time of need.” He paused.
Ann glanced over her shoulder, and Tom raised his eyebrows, but neither one spoke.
“I know I should have been honest up front with Maddy yesterday. I know that. I was shocked and scared, and, frankly, I was an idiot. It had been so very long. There was so much room for misunderstanding.” As he spoke he heard the patio door slide open, and before he could turn Boxer bolted inside and ran straight to him. Peter rubbed his ears. “Okay, buddy. Where did you come from?”
“He was with me.” Maddy stood in the doorway, backlit by the morning light.
“Do you need something, honey?” Ann sounded surprised. “Can I get you anything?”
“I think what I need is a little time alone with Peter.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Tom’s voice was stern.
“Daddy, I’m fine. We need to talk.”
Tom looked first at Peter then at Ann and, finally, at Maddy.
Ann took Tom’s arm. “Call us if you need us, honey.” Ann looked up into his eyes, and after a moment he let her lead him, close by his side, out of the kitchen.
Maddy crossed the room ahead of Peter and stepped into the living room, where she sat in a low, flowered chair. She slapped her side, and immediately Boxer sprinted toward her and made himself comfortable by her feet.
Peter stood in the doorway motionless.
“Peter,” Maddy called out.
“Yes, Maddy. I’m here.” He crossed the room quickly and touched her arm to let her know where he was, sitting at the end of the couch closest to her chair.
She moved her head as if she were trying to find him and then took a rapid breath.
“I didn’t know you were here.” Peter touched her arm gently. “I mean, I’d hoped, but I wasn’t sure you lived here.”
“I don’t. I have my own apartment close to Kate and her husband.”
“That’s right. Kate’s married. Maddy, I wanted to explain why I didn’t tell you who I was over at the school.” He chose his words carefully, rehearsing them in his head.
“Did you think I wouldn’t find out?”
“It wasn’t like that. Honestly. I had no idea what to expect. I wasn’t sure if you were going to want to talk to me, or if you were going to slap me the moment you heard my voice. I was intimidated. Scared. I wasn’t sure what I was going to say.”
“So what made you come now after all this time? What’s different now from twenty years ago when I—I needed—”
“Maddy.” Peter’s heart hurt so badly he almost cried. “I only recently found out where you were. I didn’t know you were in Colorado.”
She shifted in her chair. “I’m sorry, but all this time has passed, and you just found out now? Funny how you waited.”
“Maddy, I’m trying here. I want to tell you the truth and be honest with you.”
“I don’t mean to be condescending. I’ve just been through a rollercoaster. Forgive me if I’m agitated.”
“I know it’s hard to understand. I don’t know if I understand myself. All I know is for some reason even I don’t really know why I just found out where you were. So I came. I looked you up and jumped on a plane and found you. But I wasn’t expecting—”
“ A blind girl.” Maddy said softly.
“No! Maddy!” Peter tightened his grip on her arm. “I wasn’t expecting to find out you had gone through so much, such a terrible thing without me. It rattled me to the core. I didn’t know what to say to you. I thought you were going to see me and react and when you didn’t, I was caught off-guard. I wasn’t sure how you were going to respond to me, or even if I might harm you in some way.”
Maddy shook off his hand. “I’m blind, Peter, not on life support.”
“I panicked. I’m sorry.” He braced his feet and clasped his hands, bowing his head.
“You led me to believe you were some other person. You made me feel comfortable with you to the point where my guard was completely down. I haven’t done that in years, with anyone.”
“You felt comfortable because deep down something in you recognized me.” He looked up into her face, where the light fell through the drapes and lit her clouded eyes, those beautiful eyes that had once been clear hazel. “I just wanted to know you were okay.”
“I am, Peter. I’m okay. It took me a long time to say that, but I can finally say it. So what now? Are you seeking closure?”
He raised his eyes. The Marsden living room had high arched ceilings with wide-plank ebony floors, the windows covered with heavy plaid drapery and valances. He remembered the expansion of sunlight across the beach, the way it warmed he and Maddy on the sand on that long-ago day. “Damn it, Maddy, you’re doing it again. Castigating me without a chance to explain—”
“You mean there’s more?”
“Listen,” Peter cried in exasperation, “I never knew! If I had, I’d have never left your side. You know me. I haven’t changed. If I’d had any idea what you were going through, I would have been with you, living here, working here, spending my life with you.”
She sat back, her elbows on her knees and forehead on her hands. She looked so fragile, sitting with her shining head low. He looked at the sleek brown hair over her shoulders, at her hands cupping her head. She was the same woman, the same girl. He moved slowly out of his chair and knelt on the floor in front of her. He took her hands in his.
Maddy lifted her head, and tears came to her eyes.
Peter leaned in and pressed his lips to hers.
She pushed his shoulders back with both hands, and he fell backward. Then before he knew what she was doing Maddy pulled him to her again, with all her strength, and gave in to the kiss. Her lips were sweet and salty with tears, her body in his arms a perfect fit. She wrapped her arms around his neck and held him to her, and he kissed her and kissed her.
She was his again—his Maddy.
He took her face in his hands and whispered in her ear. “I never stopped loving you. You were my entire life. I’ve never loved anyone like I love you.” He kissed her deeply, hearing again all around them the tide rushing in.
However, Maddy stood up suddenly and abruptly. “I can’t do this, Peter. It’s been too long. I’ve been through too much.” She turned away from him and cried out in a voice of heartbreak and anguish. “Mother! Daddy! Come get me!”