Sitting at the Thanksgiving table, I look from my mother, to my sister, to the empty chair. I should have contacted Madison in October. Then she would be sitting at our table, enjoying my mother’s extravagant Thanksgiving meal.
We are her family. Since 8th grade Madison has been at our holiday table and a member of our family. I can’t fault her for spending time with Alma’s family. I abandoned her. We planned to attend college together and I bailed. In the hours after I was drafted I changed our plans and left her on her own for college. With no support from her mother and no other family she started a new chapter of her life without me.
My mother’s voice draws my attention. “We miss her, too.”
I realize I was staring at the empty chair Madison occupied every Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Easter for five years. I thought she would always be here, my friend, my adopted little sister. Although my feelings for Madison have changed, I still believe she belongs at our family table for the holidays. It’s time for me to lay my heart out and share all of my feelings with Madison. If I want to share every part of my life with her, she needs to know before she applies for teaching positions after her quickly approaching college graduation.
My mother shares all she’s learned about Madison’s relationship with Alma and her children. Mom, through her many emails and phone conversations each week with Madison, knows more than I do. I’m glad Madison has found a safe family to live with while in Columbia but need her to know this family needs and misses her, too.
My mom clutches my left hand upon the table. “She knows we wish she was here.”
Her words don’t calm my thoughts. They only fortify my resolve to open up to Madison. I can’t let another off-season pass without spending time ensuring Madison knows exactly how I feel, and I need her by my side.