10:10 A.M.
Ma’s eyes were sad as I finished telling her the story of the past three weeks. She looked away from me at the flowered wallpaper of her breakfast room, as if its cheeriness offended her.
“I suppose,” she said, “you’ll be spending a lot of time getting to know your new family now.”
“I’m planning to visit Elwood Farmer in November. I want to learn more about the Shoshones.”
“And your… mother?”
“I’m hoping she’ll visit me soon. I like her—her daughter and son, too.”
Ma sighed. “Life has a strange way of turning out. Andy and I thought adopting you would create an even stronger bond between us, but in the end it created a distance, because of all the lies.”
“So why couldn’t you tell me this when I first came to you with the petition for adoption?”
“I was afraid. I’d lost Andy—not when he died, but a long time ago, when the lies finally drove him away from all of us. You remember how he was—always hiding in the garage, till he finally slept there nine nights out of ten. I was afraid of losing you, too.”
“But by perpetuating those lies, you were guaranteeing you’d lose me.”
“Yes, I realize that now. I’ve finally succeeded in tearing apart what’s left of the family.” Ma’s eyes were bleak as they looked into an empty future.
I tried to understand. Thought of all the nights she’d spent alone when she needed Pa; of all the days, too, when he was withdrawn and depressed. She didn’t need any more of that kind of treatment from anyone—including me.
I put my hand on hers where it lay on the table. “Ma, the family’s intact. Elwood feels like a father to me, and that’s good because I miss Pa a lot. But Kia will be more like a friend or a favorite relative. I already have a mother.”
She blinked in surprise, and her mouth twisted. For a moment I thought she might cry, but then the all-too-familiar steely resolve crept into her eyes. I waited. Ma had never been a woman to pass up an opportunity.
“And what of your brothers and sisters? Your nephews and nieces? Jim and Susan? I hope you won’t forget them, just because you like this new half sister and brother.”
“How on earth could I forget them? Even if I wanted to, they wouldn’t let me.”
Now she smiled. “That’s true. They’re quite a handful. Always have been. But you were always my good girl—at least as far as I know.”
I smiled too. “At least as far as you know, Ma, I’m a very good girl.”