I Am Aware of the Target I’m Placing on My Back

Dammit, I stand upon the grammar mountain and invite lightning bolts from the grammar gods. I am the rod, my arm held high—hit me with the enlightening bolts.

I am here to defend the downtrodden, the outcast, the hopefullys and the ain’ts and the possessive it’se s and the banished double negative. Even as I write these words I hear persnickitorial screaming; I see anguished persnickitorial faces tighten in fury.

Remember, I warned you I was going to devilishly advocate some thoughts about English. So let me start out by pointing out what even I consider to be egregious ... if you remember that the first meaning of egregious was “outrageously good.”