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Déjà Vu
“SPEEDING!” HER FATHER’S face burned bright red. “Reckless endangerment!”
“We just don’t understand, dear. We want to know what’s going on.”
Emily sat in her parents’ dining room, her father standing, puffed up with righteous indignation. She’d barely been in the house two minutes and hadn’t had a chance to speak.
She shook her head. Hadn’t they just returned from Florida? “I want to know who told you all this?” Emily crossed her arms over her chest.
“He just wants to help you, honey,” said her mother.
“Who?” Emily tightened her jaw. She had a good idea who was spilling things into her parents’ ears.
“I did,” Evan said, walking into the dining room from the kitchen.
“What’re you doing here?” Emily took a step away from him. She didn’t have Luke here to ask him to leave.
“I was invited.”
Emily stood. “I’m leaving.”
Evan hurried over and stood next to her, whispering in her ear, “No you aren’t. Not unless you want your parents to know how much of a slut you are.”
“What was that?” asked her mother.
“I was just telling Emily how beautiful she looks tonight.”
Emily stepped away from Evan like he’d slapped her. “Mom, Dad, if this, this man stays here just one more second I will leave. You don’t know all the trouble he’s caused me, and you’re only hearing what he is telling you.”
“You’ll not tell me who I can have under my roof,” roared her father.
She stared at her father. “Fine. If you want to believe him over your own daughter, that’s your choice. I’m not being a victim one moment longer.” She spun around and headed for the door.
“Emily, please. Evan, you better leave,” said her mother.
“Okay, Mrs. D. I’ll call you later.”
Emily stopped and stomped back into the living room, glaring at Evan as he left. She couldn’t believe that ass-hat had the nerve to show up at her parents’ house and fill them in on lies. She felt like she was eighteen years old all over again. This was ridiculous!
“So, are you going to tell us what the hell is going on?” Her father had stood when she moved to leave and now was pacing.
“No.” They weren’t going to believe her anyways.
“No? Emily Rose I’m warning you—”
“What? That you’ll ground me for months at a time so I can’t see my boyfriend? That you’ll take away my college money if I don’t do what you say?” Emily couldn’t believe she was so angry that she brought up old hurts. She couldn’t believe her parents would side with Evan without hearing her side! It tore away the bandage she kept over her heart. The frustrated fury of her teenage years, the strangled truce she kept with her parents after, welled into deep and dark places of her heart unleashing the old hurts.
“Is that what this is about?” Her mother shook her head in disbelief. “What happened with that Wade boy? That was a decade ago.”
“A day, a decade, it hardly matters. What matters is that you’re interfering with my life! Again. Without even thinking for one moment I’m on the right side of truth!”
“Evan told us you were with some biker last night.” Her father shook his head, disgusted. “Was it that Wade boy?”
“Luke! His name’s Luke! And he’s hardly a boy. He’s a man, with his own business!” She couldn’t believe she was defending him. He hadn’t done anything wrong. Evan was the one who had created this massive problem in her life!
“I knew it!” Her mother moved to stand by her father. “He’s the one that got her into trouble!”
“For heaven’s sake, no!” Emily’s breath came out in ragged gasps. “I’m only going to tell you once. I want nothing to do with Evan Waters! And if you know what’s good for you, you will have nothing more to do with him either!” Screw them! Angela could tell them what had happened! She was done. Twenty-eight-years-and-a-decade-too-late done!
Emily grabbed her handbag and stormed out of the house.
#
“EMILY?” IT WAS ANGELA at the other end of the line. “What happened? Mom’s beside herself. She’s crying, Em.”
Emily sat in her living room, her knees clutched to her chest. She had been crying, too. “Evan filled their heads with a bunch of garbage. He told them about the speeding and reckless endangerment charges, but didn’t bother to tell them about the grand theft auto charges he instigated. Or that he was continuing all this shit in court.”
“Emily, you need to tell them.”
“Why?” she scoffed, her voice breaking as she fought to control the tears. “If they don’t trust me now, they never will. No matter what explanations they get, they think I’m wreckless. It’s ridiculous. The one time I do something stupid, I get caught and it turns into a massive nightmare.” She sighed. “Let’s be realistic here, Ang. I’ve done everything they wanted. I went to college, got a degree, heck, I even have my CPA license, and they still think I’m some sort of fuck-up.” Unlike their perfect daughter, Angela. Emily bit back the last comment. This was not her sister’s fault and she’d never been anything but supportive to her.
“They don’t, Em.”
“You should have heard them talk to me, Ang! It was like I was in high school again. And Evan.” She made a noise in the back of her throat to bite back the anger. “I’m so mad I can’t even think! You know what he did? He called mom and dad to tell them I didn’t come home last night! Like, what the hell! It’s none of his business!”
“What? Where were you?”
Emily rubbed her temple. “I had a date, Angela. You know, the things grown women do?”
“Really?” Angela sounded genuinely interested. It made Emily smile. “With who?”
“Never mind.” All she needed to do was open her mouth and say Luke’s name and someone else was going to curse him. “It’s none of your business.” She didn’t mean to snap at her sister, but she couldn’t take the words back.
“Now wait a minute! That’s no way to speak to me, especially how I’ve helped you.”
Oh shit! She really was spinning out of control. “I’m sorry, Ang, it’s just all this stuff—”
“I know. I don’t know how you are dealing with it.”
“Not very well.” She bit her lip. “Luke Wade. I had dinner with Luke. We bumped into each other.”
“Luke Wade!” Angela’s voice went up an octave.
Angela giggled. “Does he still have that bad-boy hot sex appeal?”
Emily smiled. Picturing Luke made her bite her lower lip. “He’s not a boy anymore. Trust me on that! He has his own motorcycle repair shop.”
Angela laughed. “So he’s still into motorcycles, ’eh? Don’t tell me he’s an outlaw biker too.”
“No. He’s in a club but they are super nice. Evan showed up drunk at the restaurant and threatened to beat Luke up. He called me a slut and suddenly a bunch of Luke’s gang were standing behind the table, ready to back Luke up.”
“Oh shit. Don’t tell me.”
“Nothing happened. Luke suggested Evan leave and he did. Luke sat back down. It was awesome. He put Evan in his place.”
“What’s the name of the club?”
“Devil something.” Emily snapped her fingers. “Hades’ Spawn. That’s it.”
The phone went silent for a moment. “Emily,” said Angela in a hushed tone. “Don’t you read the papers? That club’s in big trouble. Their president just went to prison for drug dealing. It’s been all over the news. They’re investigating the whole group. Last I heard they were all huge and heavy into drugs. Dealing, using, raping. Everything.”
Emily felt a cold chill run through her. “I’m sure Luke doesn’t—”
“It doesn’t matter, Em. I mean, talk to Justin, but I’m pretty sure he’d tell you the same thing. As long as these charges are outstanding, you should avoid any people that’ll pull you down. It’s not fair, but it’s guilt by association. If a judge thinks you’re associated with lawbreakers, he or she’s going to assume you’re one too.”
Emily wanted to cry all over again. Her sister was right. She was screwed no matter what she did. Damn! What the hell was she going to do?
#
LUKE HID HIS DISAPPOINTMENT that Emily kept their text conversation short. He got it though. Her job kept her busy. His job should be keeping him busy, but he kept replaying last night in his head to pay much attention to business. If Emily walked into the store, he’d fuck her right there in his office just to give his begging cock a break. The power that woman had over him... crazy shit!
Gibs walked in to get his morning coffee from the pot that Luke made when he opened the shop. “Heard about last night.”
“Yeah,” Luke said. “That was a little intense.”
“Who’s the girl?”
Luke rolled his eyes. “Who’s been blathering about me behind my back, Gibs?”
Gibs shrugged. “When?” He pointed to the calendar.
“Good point.” Luke walked over to the calendar, and tugged it off the wall.
“What?” said Gibs. “Five years that thing has been up there and now you take it down? What’s up?”
Luke grinned. “Time to move into the present.”
“You’re no fun,” Gibs muttered. He held his hand out. “Let me keep that thing.”
“Get to work,” countered Luke with a smile. “Your wife’ll kill you if she sees that thing hanging up in your garage.”
#
“HEY, BABY,” SAID LUKE. He’d been waiting all day to call her. Counting down the seconds like a sad little adolescent boy with his first crush.
“Hi,” said Emily without enthusiasm.
“You okay?” The tone of her voice killed his mood.
“A bit of a rough day.”
“Anything I can do?” He pictured lying her on his bed and offering to give her a relaxing massage. Some oil, some candlelight, a bit of tongue. He pushed the image from his mind. It wasn’t just sex he was interested in. She just had a hot body.
“No.”
Luke was at a loss. This withdrawn woman he spoke to was not the enthusiastic woman in his bed last night. “Em? What’s up?”
“Luke, uh,” she said and released a long sigh. “I don’t know how to say this, but, I, uh, can’t see you for a while.”
He sat back in his chair, his mouth dropping open. What the hell? “Why? What’s wrong?”
“I really can’t talk about it, Luke. I had a great time last night. Sorry for the mixed signals. I’ll give you a call after things settle down. Good-bye, Luke.”
Abruptly the call ended and Luke sat there, floored. The room spun around him, much like it did ten years ago when he tried to visit Emily and found she had left town, possibly forever. That anguish returned, the same heavy feeling of self-doubt and depression he felt during that long summer where he was confined to bed while his leg healed and Emily didn’t visit.
What the fuck just happened?
Did he do something wrong? Did he push her too hard last night for sex? No. He didn’t think so. She was the one who suggested they go back to his apartment. He couldn’t have mistaken her enthusiasm. Emily wanted him as much he wanted her.
Did it have something to do with her parents? Did they see the logo on the SUV and put two and two together? Did those very proper Catholic folk object to their daughter being out all night with a man? Object to Emily being with him?
Luke remembered with bitterness when her parents grounded her for the rest of the school year when he brought her home late after her curfew. It was all perfectly innocent. They had simply fallen asleep while watching the stars. Both of them worked hard during the week, with school and part-time jobs. It was easy for both of them to relax with each other, natural to fall asleep in each other’s arms. All innocent. Even when he had wanted more, he never pressed it. She was the one who pushed him.
It was a month before Emily agreed to go on a ride on his bike and that stupid accident happened. The shit hit the fan then, both with his injuries and his relationship with Emily. It took him a long time, a near-death experience, and a stint in the Navy to get his life back together.
He didn’t understand this and he couldn’t. Luke sat in his living room as raw anger seeped from his gut into his heart. If Emily Rose Dougherty was too fucking good to be with him, that was her problem, not his. This had nothing to do with her parents. She used him, just as she’d used and tossed him ten years ago.
#
EMILY SAT IN HER LIVING room, her eyes cried out, never feeling more alone. Justin had called to confirm what Angela had said. Hanging out with a known criminal element would not help her case in court.
When she tried to protest she was sure Luke had nothing to do with what happened to the club’s president, he disagreed. “I’m sure law enforcement doesn’t see it that way. You can be sure, Emily, that if one was convicted, others are being investigated. You do yourself a favor, and stay away from anyone in Hades’ Spawn motor club.”
Luke called almost as soon as she hung up the phone. She didn’t want to say those words, didn’t have the right words to say to him. What was she supposed to tell him? Luke, hanging out with you is going to hurt my case in court? Of course not. It wasn’t Luke’s fault some idiot in his club got himself in trouble. Then again, she didn’t know everything about Luke. He might be involved. Even if she doubted he was, she couldn’t be sure.
She, on the other hand, had to act responsibly, to do what she needed to get her life back on course.
Never at any point did she hate Evan Waters as she did the minute she told Luke she couldn’t see him. White heat flared in her heart as she heard the disappointment in Luke’s voice. She didn’t want to hurt him and never meant to.
Grief rocked her, the same grief when her parents forbade her after the accident from seeing Luke ever again. Intellectually she knew her father was only trying to protect her when he threatened to pull her college trust fund away if she did. It was a bitter pill to swallow, and Emily never felt right about herself after she caved in to his demand. Still, she knew she’d never get a college education without it, not for the school she was accepted to. But she felt like a traitor, both to Luke and to herself.
And now she’d gone and done it again, brushed Luke off for the sake of expediency. Emily was ashamed. Doing the “right” thing was wrong, totally wrong, then and now.
She wouldn’t blame Luke if he hated her.
He deserved better than that, someone better than her.
