I first saw him in 2007, at a cancer fundraiser concert in Atlanta, Georgia. I drove four hours from Alabama to see him because my curiosity was stronger than my common sense.

He wasn’t what I expected, to be honest. He was just as famous for his blue eyes as he was for his voice, and I wondered why disappointment filled me. I guess he just wasn’t quite what I’d imagined. Sitting across the auditorium, I couldn’t tell much about him except his face was a little scruffy and his dark hair longer than Emily had described.

I stood there, among all his fans, watching him. I felt like a stalker with the picture tucked securely in my back pocket. But I didn’t want to think about the picture at that moment. I wanted to see him for the man he really was.

He sang their latest ballad, his voice a scratchy, honeyed whiskey. The girls up front swayed as they waved their cell phones and lighters. I rolled my eyes but couldn’t stop the grin. If I had been a little younger, I might have been tempted to join in. My twenty-eight years owned too much sadness for me to feel so carefree.

As he sang, my heart broke a little more. Emily would have smiled her brilliant smile and been so excited, because after all, I knew now the song was about her.

 

I’ll breathe life into you

Just tell me when you need me to.

I’ll give you what you need

If only you’ll believe in me.

 

Tears shone on his face from across the stadium. I could hear the tremble in his voice as he sang the words. This was Emily’s song, and it was obvious he sang it for her, no matter who else listened. His eyes were closed and occasionally his fingertips tapped his heart.

When the song was over, tears streamed down my face and I clapped until my hands hurt. I looked around me at the unfamiliar faces and pretended I didn’t know the story behind the song. Almost everyone was here for entertainment. The occasional few might have come out of support for a loved one with cancer. But I was here for a reason.

I just wished I knew what it was.