So last night, I got the best idea for how to make more emeralds. I’d be swimming in them! It was all thanks to Ziggy Zombie—and believe me, THAT’S not something I say very often.
When we got to the sledding hill, Sam was acting all mopey. He said I wasn’t giving him enough turns on the sled.
I almost pointed out that it was MY sled. But I guess he’s kind of doing me a favor by hiding it from Chloe, so I had to be nice. I said maybe we could try riding together on the sled. I already knew we wouldn’t fit, but I thought I’d at least get points for offering.
When Sam shot that idea down, I had an even better one. I challenged him to a race down the hill. I said I’d ride the boring old sled and HE could slide down on his belly.
Sam actually thought that sounded pretty fun. And it WAS fun—until he started laughing. And jiggling. And hiccupping. And slid totally out of control. That slime’s pretty fast, but he really needs to work on his steering.
He bounced a few times and then started to roll. By the time he reached the bottom of the hill, he looked like a ginormous snowball.
Did I mention that he crash-landed into someone’s snow fort? Yeah, it wasn’t pretty.
And for a second, I was SURE the fort belonged to Bones or some other spider jockey. Because that’s the kind of thing that happens to Sam all the time—the slime’s got really bad luck.
Turns out, it was Ziggy Zombie who crawled out! And he wasn’t mad at all. People complain about zombies moaning and groaning about stuff, but Ziggy is actually pretty cheerful—at least when we let him hang out with us.
When Sam offered to help Ziggy fix his fort, he gave us a goofy green grin. And then we all got to work.
I thought re-building the snow fort was going to seriously cut into our sledding time, but then Willow Witch showed up. She’d been brewing a potion of swiftness, and she offered to share it with us so that we could build the fort even FASTER.
Well, my parents raised me right. I always say NO to stuff like that. Who knows what Willow puts in those potions? Spider eyes? Rabbit’s feet? Ah, no, thank you.
But Sam and Ziggy each took a swig of potion from the bottle. And three minutes later, that fort was not only fixed, it was BIGGER than ever. Big enough for all of us to fit inside. So like I said, sometimes Willow Witch can be kinda cool.
We were all sitting in the fort when we got to talking about the holidays. Willow said her family was getting ready to celebrate the solstice, which is the shortest day of the year—and longest night. But this year, she said, solstice was going to fall on a school night. What a waste of extra time!
Ziggy said his family tradition was giving up eating rotten flesh for a week. I almost got up and did my happy dance when I heard that. No rotten flesh hanging from Ziggy’s teeth for a WHOLE week? Now THAT was something to celebrate!
Sam started to talk about how his family lights torches every night for like eight nights in a row. But Ziggy interrupted him. He couldn’t wait to tell us how HUMANS celebrate something called “Christmas” in the village.
See, Ziggy lives near a village and likes to stagger around at night, moaning and scaring villagers. It’s a zombie thing, he says. And because of all that moaning and groaning, he knows more about humans than any of us do. So when he started to talk about Christmas, we all shut right up and listened.
Here’s what Ziggy said about Christmas. (I don’t know if I believe it all or not, but it SOUNDS kind of fun.)
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Some old, fat, jolly guy named Santa visits ALL the human kids in a single night and brings them presents. Yup, every last kid, Ziggy said. When I asked how an old guy could get around the whole Overworld in one night, Willow said maybe he uses a potion of swiftness. I figure that’s a pretty good guess.
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Santa rides a sled pulled by critters called reindeer. Ziggy says they’re like horses except they have these branches sticking out of their heads. Oh, and they can fly. (I’m not so sure about that last part. Ziggy might have a few of his facts wrong.)
Santa lands his sled on rooftops and comes down chimneys. Before I could ask Ziggy how, Willow said maybe Santa uses a potion of fire resistance so he doesn’t get burned by the hot lava in the fireplace. (She’s pretty smart. I can see why Sam likes her—not that I would EVER tell him that.)
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The kids hang stockings by the fireplace. It’s how they get rid of old socks that don’t match, Ziggy said. And then Santa puts little presents in them, like apples, to make them smell better.
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Santa puts bigger presents under dead trees that humans decorate and put in their living rooms.
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Before he leaves, Santa drinks all of the kids’ hot cocoa and eats their cookies.
Willow thought that was really mean, but then Ziggy said, “No! The kids love it when he comes!” He said that humans love Santa so much that they dress up like him. They wear padded suits and long white beards so that they look like the real Santa. And parents actually pay emeralds to have their kids sit on those fake Santas’ laps.
Well, that’s when I REALLY started paying attention. If I wanted to make a few emeralds, maybe all I had to do was dress up like this Santa dude.
I must have said that out loud, because Willow shot it down right away. She said there was NO WAY villager kids would believe I was Santa. She said they’d scream and run away from a green-faced Santa, like they do when they see zombies. “Right, Ziggy?” she asked.
He said she was right. But then he said baby ZOMBIES would LOVE to see a green-faced Santa—especially his baby sister, Zoe. And then Sam said his mini slime brothers would want to meet a green-faced Santa too.
“Would your parents pay emeralds?” I asked.
They both nodded. So . . .
BAM!
That’s how it all started—my master plan for making emeralds to buy gifts for Creeper’s Eve. We’re going to have the Santa party for all the little mobs next Saturday.
I mean, the plan did change a little. I decided SAM should be the Santa, because he’s pretty much the fattest and jolliest mob I know. And while he’s entertaining all the baby mobs, I’ll perform my new rap song. Did I mention I’m a rapper?
Willow wanted to know what my rap song was about. “What does it have to do with Santa?” she asked.
I told her it was ALL about Santa. But the truth was, I hadn’t written it yet.
So that’s why I’m staying up late this morning. If we’re going to do the Santa party next weekend, I’ve got to get going on this rap. This is what I have so far:
Oops! Sorry about that.
I sort of fell asleep. Guess I’ll write more tomorrow.
