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HAVING A FLING required a lot of sneaking around, and a lot of sex...a lot of sex. It proved to be handy, however, whenever the urge presented itself, whether they were hanging on the deck by the pool, watching an evening show, or playing in the sports area, Grayson knew exactly where to find them quick privacy on the ship.
Grayson also knew how to use his hands, too. He had amazingly hard, but tender, and thoughtful hands. Hands that liked to touch her as much as she liked them touching her.
Emma hadn’t considered what would happen after the initial deed. When she’d suggested the whole friends with benefits thing, she’d never considered Grayson would take her up on it.
Now, after the fact, she’d had Izzy, Abby and Melissa to deal with. She didn’t want to tell them, but could she hide it from them? The whispering, laughing, and always disappearing were flashing signs they’d stepped over the friendship line.
It was thrilling, scary, fun and amazing, but at the same time, so was telling Melissa about them.
After lunch, Emma waited for Melissa to step onto the balcony, before sneaking to the front door. She wanted some time with Grayson alone, before they all dressed up and headed to dinner.
“Where are you going?” Melissa asked, stepping back inside.
Busted.
Emma’s hand retreated from the door handle, and she needed a lungful of fresh hair to face her friend.
She turned with a smile. “I was going to go for a walk...”
“Liar.”
Emma cringed.
“A walk next door, more like,” Melissa said. She poured herself another glass of wine. “And I am not talking about Izzy’s cabin, so you can cut the sneaking around and lying to me.”
Emma took a joking approach. “Isn’t it more fun sneaking around?”
Melissa drank her full glass of wine without taking a breath. “Head-stupid,” she said, making a satisfied sound and pouring herself another glass. “You’re acting head-stupid.”
Emma straightened, feeling her defenses come up. “Listen, Melissa−”
“No, you listen.” Melissa pointed a finger at her. “I was all for you sleeping with Grayson, and getting it out of your system, but whatever you two are doing, giggling, teasing, making lame excuses to run off alone...” She made disgusted faces as she spoke. “It appears to be more than just a fling.”
Emma tsked her. “It’s a fling,” she assured her. “Nothing more. We both set the terms, agreed to them, so there is no head-stupid involved.”
Emma met Melissa at the table, taking the wine glass out of her hand and drinking the liquid herself. Delicious. It only reminded her of the taste of Grayson’s mouth after sharing their own glass of wine. She couldn’t wait to sneak−go−over there now.
Melissa’s big blue eyes narrowed, assessing Emma. She wanted to look away, squirm, and run out of the cabin and away from whatever Melissa would conclude about her relationship with Grayson, but that would only prove Melissa right. Head-stupid. And Emma wasn’t being head-stupid. She knew the plan, was following the plan and didn’t plan on changing it.
“He’s not a one-girl guy,” Melissa said, not hiding true concern in her voice. The sincerity took Emma by surprise and she blinked. “He’s sweet because he charms all the women. Don’t forget that, Emma. You are sweet because your heart is big and loving and...” Melissa sighed a big breath. “Honestly, I didn’t think you would actually sleep with him. I was badgering you only to get a rise out of you, but I thought you had higher standards than, Grayson.”
Higher standards?
Emma set the glass down a little harder than expected. “People might say the same about you. Actually, Melissa, they do say the same about you. Judge you by what you allow them to see. And I defend you, stand by your side, because I know there is more to you than what you let people see. You try to hide behind your haughty attitude, look down on people, judge them, and I will be the first to admit, I may have judged in the past−”
Melissa crossed her arms over her chest. “May have? This is what I’m talking about. Your perception of Grayson is already shifting.”
So what? People weren’t always who or what they seemed. That was a hard lesson for Emma to learn. She was proud that she could see past Grayson for who he really was. That didn’t mean she was head-stupid. It meant she was human.
“I’m not the only one with relationship issues,” Emma said. “If you think for one second I believe the reason you keep your heart all locked up is because you’ve been secretly in love with Marc our whole lives and you’re heartbroken that he’s with Kate, you’re wrong.”
“Marc has nothing to do with this. Why are you even bringing him up?” Melissa turned away.
“Because you never talk about him.”
“Because there is nothing to talk about.”
“There is something. You just won’t talk about it.”
Melissa spun on her heel and glared at Emma, their fight beginning to climb. “I never liked, liked Marc. Is that what you want to hear? At the beginning, I didn’t even like you.” She stretched the last word out.
At first introduction, Melissa didn’t like anyone, so Emma shrugged it off. “That’s not news to me.”
“Stop acting like you know everything.” Melissa groaned, a frustration she didn’t normally express. “I am trying to keep you from making a huge mistake.”
“If it’s a mistake, and note I said if, it’s my mistake to make and nothing you say will change my decision. I have this under control. Call it head-stupid if you want, but at least trust that I can handle this, just like I trust that when you’re ready, you will tell me what you’re hiding.”
Melissa’s masked face returned and it was her turn to blink in surprise. Emma knew it was because Melissa had let her emotions overtake her.
“Fine,” Melissa said.
“Fine?”
Melissa gave her big, annoyed eyes and gritted teeth. “Yes, fine. Go have your head-stupid fling.”
That was as close to support that Emma was going to get from Melissa. She threw her arms around Melissa in a quick hug and heard Melissa’s mild groan of distaste at the action.
“It’s not like you’re going to listen to me anyway when you’re all head-stupid.”
Emma grinned. “Step off your pedestal and visit me in head-stupidville. You will find life is a little easier down here. Laid back. Enjoyable.”
Melissa looked appalled. “No, thank you. Just go. You’ve got that whole fluttery, giddy, head-stupid thing going on and it’s making me want to jump overboard.”
Giddy and fluttery to see Grayson. Kiss him. Touch him.
Emma had to refrain from running out of the cabin and banging wildly on Grayson’s door. She settled for light tapping to avoid drawing attention from passing people. Grayson, however, didn’t hide his excitement, pulling her inside so quickly she lost her balance. Luckily, he was her wall of support, while kissing and touching her, just like she’d wanted.
He was amazing, in a completely friends with benefits kind of way, and nothing more.
Emma didn’t let the tightening in her stomach ruin the fun they were about to have. There was no room for letting her feelings get the better of her, not when being with Grayson felt so good.
***
THEY MISSED SUPPER with the group. Melissa would be having an internal fit, while Izzy would be high-fiving with Abby and undoubtedly anticipating a detailed report of Emma’s whereabouts later. Sometimes being in a big family had its downfalls.
“Eating in tonight?” Grayson asked, coming up behind her, wrapping his arm around and pulling her back against his hard-on. He seemed to always have a hard-on.
His mouth pressed against her neck and she arched sideways giving him more access.
“When you say it like that, I guess so.”
“You guess so?” He whipped her around and kissed her wildly, lifting her up and carrying her to the couch. He sat down and she straddled him, grinding against him.
He moaned.
She smiled.
“What shall we order in?” she asked.
He moved his lips down her throat. “Why are we talking food?”
He pulled her shirt over her head and she laughed. Cupping her breasts, still in her bra, he brought them to his hot, wet, and waiting mouth.
“You’re delicious.”
“Real food,” she said as her stomach growled.
Grayson groaned and she laughed.
He wrapped his arms around her and hugged her tightly, giving her a shake. “Order whatever you like, times two.” He kissed her. “Then afterwards I’m tying you to the bed and having my way with you. Prepare for a long night.”
Grayson lifted her as he stood, turning around and dumping her on the couch. She flopped like a rag doll and laughed. She heard him chuckle as he headed upstairs.
Emma stared at the ceiling.
Tie her to his bed? Was he serious?
She collected her shirt from the floor and ordered food. When it arrived, she called Grayson down.
She opened the containers and spread an assorted buffet of finger foods across the table. She peeked at the lemon drizzled dessert and scooped a finger full of the whipped cream. This was vacation after all−she might as well have dessert first. She moaned. Mouth heaven.
Speaking of which...where was Grayson?
When he didn’t come down after her second attempt, she abandoned the warm food and made her way to his bedroom.
Emma hadn’t been in his loft. They’d had sex everywhere else, the couch, the table, the counter, the main floor shower, but not his loft. Her fingers ran across the unmade sheets on his bed, and she could almost feel the silk beneath her, snuggled in Grayson’s embrace−
Emma stopped walking.
Snuggled?
They weren’t snuggling. They were having a fling and Emma needed to keep her thoughts in perspective. The bathroom door open a crack was a great distraction from her snuggling images.
She knocked softly. “Grayson?”
“I’ll be down in a sec,” he said, sounding like he was having trouble catching his breath.
Her heart stilled.
Was he having another meltdown?
Emma still didn’t know what his first break-down had been about. She still didn’t know a lot about him, but a fling wasn’t about getting to know someone more than their body.
Emma turned away, fully intending on giving him his privacy, but they were friends. That was what they claimed, and it was a good enough excuse to push open the door with concern.
His body was soaked. Had he showered? Water dripped from every exposed, hard part of his body that was not hidden by his shorts. He had an amazing body and touching and licking it were her favorite pastimes.
Not now.
His hands clenched the edge of the counter and his head fell between them. Something was wrong.
Emma strode into the marble and glass room, leaving her reluctance on the other side of the door.
“Hey. Are you alright?” She touched his heaving back and he didn’t move. “Hey...”
Emma ducked underneath him and grabbed his face. He was breathing heavy, eyes closed. She stood up, bringing him with her until her body was against the counter and he was facing her.
“You can talk to me.”
Grayson kissed her. He lifted her onto the counter, the water from his torso soaking her shirt. Where he was heading, they weren’t going to need clothes. As he deepened the kiss, her concern began to grow. He was using her as an escape.
Grayson didn’t talk about his feelings. The most he’d opened up to her was at the theater, but even then, he hadn’t confided what had truly bothered him that day in the hallway...and it was likely the root of his sorrow now.
Emma pulled away. “Do you always use sex to deflect real issues?”
He smirked at her. “What issues?”
He used humor to deflect.
Emma’s thumb rubbed his face and she followed sprinkling soft kisses to loosen his hard edges.
“What’s wrong?” she asked.
“We’re still dressed.”
She planted a frustrated kiss on his lips, leaving no room for opening and exploring. She sighed when she finished. “You know what I mean.”
“Why do you assume something’s wrong?”
“Isn’t something wrong?”
He shook his head.
“What are you doing? Head down, shoulders hunched, breathing heavy?”
“Push-ups.”
Push-ups?
Emma lifted her hand off his shoulders. “This is sweat?”
His smirk was adorable.
“Ewww, gross. Grayson!” She slapped him and the water sprayed. “Nasty.”
“It’s nothing worse than the gym.”
“Yes, it is. You’re soaked like you stepped out of a shower. I thought you stepped out of the shower. I thought this was water...”
He dropped his shorts and pulled her shirt over her head. “A shower sounds good,” he said.
Her shorts were next and she unsnapped her bra in time for him to scoop her up and take her beyond the glass door.
***
AN HOUR LATER, THEY’D finished showering and eating, and were now snuggling together in a blanket on the balcony.
Snuggling.
She tried not to read into Grayson pulling a blanket around them and tucking her perfectly against him. She tried ignoring Melissa’s warnings ringing in her ears. Emma had imagined flings would be different than this. Yes, they’d had their fair share of sex, but it was nothing in comparison to moments like this−these were the moments she secretly treasured...the moments Melissa cautioned her about.
Maybe flings, or “friends with benefits,” and one-night stands were different. She did like the extra bonuses of hanging out at the pool and the evening events, but tonight, they were staying in, just the two of them. She supposed that made them friends, as much as friends could be while sleeping together.
The moments like these scared her. Being curled beside him, listening to his heartbeat, feeling his fingers stroke her arm, her hair, and her neck. She could lie to Melissa all she wanted, but she couldn’t lie to herself, she was growing attached to these moments...growing attached to Grayson. It wasn’t only the sex she enjoyed. It was the most mind-blowing sex she’d ever experienced she gave Grayson credit for knowing how to please a woman.
He should, he’s done plenty.
Emma pushed that thought away. It didn’t bother her like she thought it should.
Why not? Was it because they were having a fling and she wasn’t worried about his other women, or because she was just like them? Was she like them? Fun for a while, then easily disposed of?
“Hey, what’s got you so quiet?” he asked.
If only he knew. He would get all huffy and upset, claiming she wasn’t like every other woman and don’t compare herself to them, but did he say that to all the women? It was hard not to. Besides, having a fling was what she wanted, what she’d agreed to, so she accepted whatever the truth was. Everyone did things later they regretted, but she wouldn’t change a thing because it had been so wonderful so far.
She twisted to look up at him. “Tell me what was bothering you that day in the hallway? The first day you kissed me.”
He remained quiet.
“That’s what friends do,” she urged. “Talk to each other. Share the things that scare them, or make them happy.”
“I can show you what makes me happy.” A gave her a half grin, and then she felt his fingers slipping under her shirt−or his button-up dress shirt she’d slipped on earlier.
“Stop,” she laughed, grasping his hand and lacing her fingers through them, resting them on his chest.
“Has anyone ever told you, that you’re a pushy friend?” His kissed her nose.
“Me? Pushy? Have you met Melissa?”
His chuckled.
“Come on, I won’t judge.”
“I don’t talk about this stuff.”
Emma sat up. “What if you had motivation?”
“I’m listening.”
“There’s another way we could keep warm.” She nodded at the hot tub.
“You didn’t bring your bathing suit,” he reminded her.
“Exactly.”
Grayson grinned and the words poured out of him in a quick rush. “I missed my mom, was feeling guilty for some things that happened a long time ago, ditched my aunt because she was the one who brought it all up, dumped water all over you, and then I was rejected by you, and didn’t get to do what we are about to do.” Grayson stood up. Emma almost toppled off the lounger when he jumped off, tossing the blanket at her, revealing his naked torso.
Emma swallowed hard, finding it hard to concentrate on his admittance of previous sorrow.
He turned away from her and she could hear him unbuckling his pants.
“We are going to talk about that further...later,” she threatened.
Grayson dropped his pants, and kicked them to the side. “We’ll see.” He proceeded into the hot tub wearing only his briefs. He didn’t turn back to look at her until he was dipping his body into the water.
Wet Grayson.
Her mouth watered.
“Are you coming?” he asked. “Or was this just a ruse to see me almost naked?”
Emma dropped the blanket and Grayson’s smirk widened.
“It’s nice and warm in here.” He smoothed his hand across the water, tempting her, as if she might be having second thoughts.
Emma walked to the hot tub and found herself teasing him. “Can you help out of my shirt?”
I’m a goner. Forget about talking.
Grayson’s eyes moved down her front, to the opening of the hem of the shirt, before moving back up her.
He cleared his throat. “Yeah. Of course.” He sounded like a shy teenager, but as he stood up, the water beading down his hard body, he looked nothing the part.
“You have to turn around,” he said, cutting into her man candy time.
Emma blushed. “Turn around?” There were only a few buttons done up at the front.
“Turn...around...” he said, slowly with a drawl.
Emma turned around with blissful anticipation.
She enjoyed the feel of his wet hands gently gather her hair to one shoulder. Her head slightly dipped against his touch as his fingers teased the nape of her neck. His fingers traced down her back and slipped under the material, lightly caressing her skin and moving around her middle.
His lips pressed against the back of her neck. Grayson’s hands moved over the shirt, unbuttoned the few buttons and slipped it off her shoulders. It dropped to the ground and pooled around her feet.
Breathe.
“Come in with me,” his husky whisper muffled against her skin.
Emma inhaled deeply before turning. Grayson stood back, hand extended, and let his eyes sweep over her body, sending heat everywhere.
“You’re beautiful,” he said. His thundering, hungry eyes devoured her as she stepped into the heated water bubbling at her thighs.
Emma took her hand and slid it down his chest. “You aren’t too bad yourself.”
“Turn around,” he said.
Emma did as he asked this time, without question. She would do anything he asked. His lips resumed position on the back of her neck, tracing, sucking, and nibbling. He moved slowly over her body. She realized, as the days had passed, his touch had lingered more, his strokes had become more delicate. Now, he took his time compared to the frantic pace at the shower at the spa.
Grayson’s tongue traveled down her spine and slowly he turned her to face him moving up her belly, between her breasts and finding her mouth.
She loved when his hands grasped her face, deepening his kisses.
Emma touched him. His abs, his chest, his back.
“Be right back,” he said.
“What?”
He hopped out of the hot tub, leaving her trembling alone and disappeared inside.
Where did he go? What just happened?
Emma watched him scamper through the glass collecting the wine and glasses, returning to hand her one.
Emma smiled. “Are you trying to get me drunk?”
He shook his head. “Not at all. Trying to be thoughtful.” His lower body dipped slowly underneath the water, leaving his torso out to tease her.
“Nothing more thoughtful than the show you gave me, running around in nothing but your briefs, hugging that tight rump.”
His eyes widened. “Well, Ms Caliendo, this is a new side to you.”
Emma gulped the liquid and leaned over him to set down her glass. “You haven’t seen anything yet,” she promised him, her hand disappearing under the water. “You’ve been all hands,” she said, following a trail down his stomach. “Now, it’s my turn.” She slipped under his waistband and he groaned at her touch. “You like that?”
He grasped the side of her face. “You know I do.” And again, he demonstrated he was the best kisser she’d ever encountered.