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THE THUNDERING HEADACHE from this morning still lingered. Grayson couldn’t figure out what the hell was going on in his head. He needed to talk to someone. Grayson knocked on his aunt’s cabin door.
When she answered, she squinted her eyes, folded her arms and glared up at him. “I don’t even know where to begin,” she said, pinching her eyebrows and pursing her lips with disapproval at him. “But a bar of soap might be a start.”
“Can I come in?”
She narrowed her eyes. “If you weren’t so darn cute, and my only nephew, I would send you packing.”
She turned on her heel and walked back inside the cabin. Grayson followed.
“I’m a mess,” Grayson said, and collapsed onto the couch, propping his elbows on his knees. “I’m not thinking straight.”
Linda sat on the chair across from him, her eyes suddenly more aware of his state, but said nothing. This would be the first time Grayson had ever come to her with a problem about his personal life. Even with Brock and Samantha, Grayson had kept it all inside.
“Dad and Samantha messed me up. Seriously messed me up. Any chance of a relationship with another woman is out the window. I didn’t even want one until...” he paused, but couldn’t say her name. “I tried not to notice her, you know. Or the feelings her presence brought up whenever I was around her, or when I see her from across the room.”
“Emma?”
He nodded.
“Do you like her?”
What had he been telling her? “Yes.”
“Do you always bring your ex-wife on dinner dates with prospective women?”
Grayson closed his eyes and inhaled his frustration.
When he opened his eyes Linda sat patiently waiting for his explanation. She wasn’t as easy to sidetrack as the rest of the family.
“Emma and I had a falling out before dinner a couple nights ago. She told me she was falling in love with me and I told her to go find someone who would say it back.”
Grayson expected Linda’s hand to slap him across the head but when she remained seated, waiting, and listening, he continued. “She says she sees a compassionate man when she looks at me. That’s not me. That’s not who I am, but she sees that man and I can’t help wonder, can I be him? I didn’t even know I wanted a picket fence, marriage, kids, but I can see them with her. There’s a part of me that knows it will all come crashing down. Knows a man like me can’t be that happy.”
“Grayson,” Linda finally interrupted. “Don’t let your past dictate your future. Can I ask how Samantha fits into this? And last night?”
Grayson explained everything from stepping into that bar, to Emma’s confession, to the pictures...everything.
“But it took a disaster dinner like last night for me to discover the truth. I didn’t even give Emma the benefit of the doubt. I didn’t trust her. How would you feel about a guy who assumed you slept with his dad after you confessed your feelings to him?”
“It didn’t go well when you talked to her?”
“No, it didn’t go well. I was drunk. She is really hurt and I’m an ass.” He raked his hands across his face. “After everything I’ve done, when I selfishly asked her to stay and offered her nothing, she cleaned my cut, and held the ice on until I fell asleep. She stayed. I’ve put her through hell and she stayed. Then today all she asked for was the truth and still, I offered her nothing.”
Linda moved over beside Grayson and touched his leg. “You’re scared. I understand, more than you know, but stop being afraid of what others will do to you. Look at Emma, listen to what your heart tells you about her.”
“I did the marriage thing with Samantha.”
She shook her head. “You got drunk and married her in Vegas after, what? Three days of knowing each other? Samantha played you to her advantage. We both know that. Emma’s not playing you. She’s not after your money, your status, your−”
“Dad?”
“Leave it to a Cohen conversation to get so beyond the limits of what is proper.” Linda smiled at him. “Tell Emma the truth about what happened with Samantha. That’s what she needs to hear from you to understand why her and Brock together was your first assumption. Tell her you’re scared. Your mom would want you to talk to Emma. Your dad wasn’t always the closed off man he’s become. When your mom was alive, he didn’t hold back his feelings. But her death hurt him.”
“You want me to feel sorry for him?”
“I know you’re still hurt by your father’s betrayal. It hurt a lot of people, but he wasn’t thinking straight.”
“There is no excuse for what he did.”
“You’re right. He shouldn’t have ever been anywhere near a woman who belonged to you, but aren’t you glad he did? Would you want Samantha in your life playing those games behind your back?”
No, but he didn’t find this face reassuring.
“You can never hate your father as much as I know he hates himself for what he did to you. He’s watched you fall into his footsteps, never letting a woman past your exterior, and it breaks his heart. He had love with your mother. She was the love of his life. In no way will anyone ever live up to the love they shared. But to watch you throw away your chance at real love, scares him.”
Grayson watched his aunt closely. “Dad’s been talking to you.” It wasn’t a question.
“We’ve known each other a long time Grayson. We’ve talked. I’ve yelled. He’s walked away. It’s complicated, but it always comes back to you.”
It’s complicated?
“What does that mean?” Grayson asked.
“It means he wants you to be happy.”
Grayson shook his head, that wasn’t what he meant. “No, no, no. You and Dad?”
She didn’t answer, which gave him his answer.
Grayson stood up to put some distance between them, hearing her say his name with concern.
“I’m not mad,” he said.
He wasn’t mad at her, but his dad. Having feelings for Linda was going to do nothing but confuse her.
He headed toward the door.
“Grayson?”
He turned to her. “You don’t trust him. I saw it. The look of worry, because you don’t trust him.”
“I said it was complicated.”
“I won’t do that to Emma. I won’t make her live a life where she’s always wondering if I will cheat on her or accuse her of cheating on me.”
“You don’t have to live that life.”
“It can’t be avoided. Not with my past, not with my family. If I tell her everything and start a life with her, no matter how good it is, there will always be that broken trust in the back of my head. I would be dragging her into my suspicious life, my worries, and my anger. Or worse than that, there will always be that suspicion in the back of her head. The one you’ve just shown me will never cease to exist with men like us. I won’t do that to her and Dad shouldn’t be doing it to you.”
“Don’t you think that is my decision to make and Emma’s?”
Grayson shook his head. “No.”
“Son?”
Grayson rolled his eyes at the sound of his dad’s voice and look to see him exiting the bathroom. He looked worse than Grayson. Tired, worn out. But then, he’d likely been up all night with his aunt.
“What are you doing?” Grayson demanded. “How long has this been going on?”
Brock found Linda’s eyes. “That’s our business, Son.”
Grayson shook his head. He wondered briefly if it had been going on since his mother’s death, recalling his aunt mentioning she’d been dealing with other things when she wished she’d been there for him. Was Brock the other things?
“Honesty is a great trait in this family,” Grayson said. “And, honestly, I’m sick and tired of how fake we are.”
“Grayson,” Linda hissed.
“You’re done hurting people,” Grayson said. “If you hurt her−”
“Do you think I haven’t already?” Brock bellowed.
Linda moved over to Brock’s side and took his hand.
“I’ve hurt her like I’ve hurt you. I’m a selfish son of a bitch. Was,” he corrected. “Was selfish. I messed up with you, Son and I’m sorry. With you and Linda. But we’re are working it out.”
He looked at Linda, squeezed her hand, and Grayson watched emotions he’d never seen from his dad move between them.
“It’s not going to be easy, but it’s the only chance we have. If you don’t want to forgive me, that’s fine. It’s your choice, but I’m sorry.” The fight fell from his father’s face. “I’m sorry. Don’t let my mistake chase away a good woman. Don’t let Emma go because I have traumatized you. I promise, finding her and keeping her will be worth it.”
“I might not have been thinking straight last night, but I’m not going to apologize. Throwing a punch at you was a long time coming.”
“It’s not your fault that the first thing that would pop into your head is me sleeping with her. That’s my fault. That’s on me. But fathers aren’t supposed to be like that. Neither are the wives of other men, but unfortunately, for you, you got both.”
Grayson shook his head. “Old man, I am not doing this.”
Grayson turned to leave and Brock grabbed his forearm, stopping him dead in his tracks. “Grayson, we should talk about it. It’s been six years.”
Grayson met his stare at eye level. “Ask me in six more.”