I rushed to David’s side and grabbed his hand. It already felt squishy in my grip, and I could smell the decay moving through his body at an expanding rate. Whatever magic was keeping him alive and allowing him to walk around as one of the undead was failing now, and he was returning to the Earth.
Screw that.
“I’ll get Thoth, and we’ll figure out how to fix this,” I said, not sure what could have triggered his failure. Did he need to eat more people? If he did, I was happy to find some more people for him to eat.
“No,” David said, looking up into the smog-filled skies above the amusement park. “It’s cool.”
“What?” I asked, looking at him. “You’re talking crazy, man.”
David turned his head, one of his eyes hanging out of his sockets in the grossest thing I’d seen since, well, the radio station I’d been in a half hour ago. He pulled his hand away and shoved the eye back in, badly. “I don’t think I’m meant to be a monster.”
“You’re not a monster,” I said, lying. We were both monsters, and I’d hoped we could be monsters together.
“I killed a bunch of Federal agents and ate human flesh. I got Sam killed. Plus, I just saw hell. I don’t want to go to hell. You know it’s going to be nothing but high school over and over again. I don’t want to be condemned to an eternity of high school.”
He was babbling now. Either that or high. I wondered if zombies could get high and if not then whether that was contributing to David’s decision to let go of the mortal coil. “You’ve got a lot to live for.”
“No, you do,” David said, smiling with a slightly unhinged jaw. “You’re a hero, man. You canceled the apocalypse.”
“Maybe,” I said, wondering if destroying Gog’s avatar did anything but ensure there was just one less jerk in the world. I didn’t know if demons worked on D&D rules and whether we killed him forever by wiping him out on his home dimension or whether he’d just rebuild himself in a thousand years or so. I did know I wasn’t going to tell David that killing Gog wasn’t necessarily a game-changing event.
“It was totally fucking awesome,” David said, chuckling. “Like the ending boss fight to a video game. But it’s not me.”
“It’s not me either.”
“Yeah, it is,” David said. “You’ve killed like a hundred people, Peter. You’re a stone-cold killer. You just look like a nerd pretending to be a gangsta.”
I frowned. “I do not pretend to be gangsta.”
“Do me a solid,” David said, now looking like a skeleton with a cover of flesh. “Don’t stop being a nerd. Also, get a—”
There was nothing left of David a few seconds later. He’d turned into a fine white powder that I recognized from the radio station. Apparently, this was part of the magic that Thoth did to corpses and left not even a body to bury.
“I’m sorry, Peter, I failed,” Thoth said, behind me. He’d need a couple of days to regenerate his missing arm.
“What happened?” I asked, not looking up from the white powder. “I mean, you managed to defeat Gog. Why not save David?”
“I had three weeks of forewarning,” Thoth replied. “You told me about his coming at the party so I consulted with my old teacher, Kim Su, as well as the Scholomance in Transylvania. The price for Gog and Enil’s true names was high, but he’s weakened now. It’ll be a good couple of thousand years before he’s able to make a new avatar. I may even be able to bind his spirit like I did Magog’s and seal him away longer.”
“So, all that bit about learning it from the angel of death?”
“Also true.”
I was too upset to think about the fact I’d traveled back in time and changed the past. “So, you just didn’t have the juice to save David?”
“I thought I could keep him from decaying to nothing as normal zombies do. I was wrong.” Thoth leaned down and placed two coins on the ashes where David’s remains used to be.
“What’s that for?” I asked.
“Think of them as a get out of hell free card,” Thoth said. “I have a few spared for you, me, and Lucinda.”
“Man, you think of everything, don’t you?”
“I try,” Thoth said, sad and beaten. “I’m probably going to have to leave town for a couple of centuries, though.”
“Wait, what?”
“Killing Enil is not going to be without consequences. He’s only been Second Eldest since the Middle Ages, an eyeblink for most Ancients, but the death of any of any Ancient is enough to warrant the Council’s ire. It’ll be best for me to dwell in territory outside their purview until it all blows over, or I can bribe them enough to not care.”
I looked up at him. My eyes felt puffy and red fluid leaked down from them. David’s death had reduced me to tears, something I didn’t think was possible until now. “Didn’t you save all their asses last year?”
“Yes, which is probably why they’ll let me have a head start,” Thoth said. “It’s not as bad as you might think, I’ve been driven from other vampire’s domains in the past. Lucinda has also agreed to put up with me for the time if I want a position by her side.”
“Or under her,” I smiled.
“Vampire marriages are cyclical,” Thoth said, smiling. “You spend a couple of decades absolutely giddy in love, get really hateful, then you part for a century, so the ardeur builds itself back up. It also makes your other spouses jealous.”
“Vampires are damn weird, man.”
Thoth handed me a handkerchief to wipe away my bloody tears. “I’m leaving Mina in your care. Dracula’s granddaughter is a white elephant on her own but one that has her own uses. I’ll also see that my physical properties and my non-transferrable fortune are placed in your care.”
“You’re just giving me half-a-billion dollars?” I asked, not even able to feel happy about the action.
“More like fifty million,” Thoth said, shrugging. “The rest I expect you to administrate. Don’t trust rich white people, really rich white people with fangs, fundamentalist hypocrites, or politicians.”
“Oh, like I needed you to tell me that.”
Thoth put his hand on my shoulder. “I’ll stay a little while longer. Ashura will need help covering up the deaths of so many BOSS agents. I can put her in touch with the Star Chamber and Hoover Circle. The mages will purge any remaining Hollowed as well as Satan worship in BOSS.”
“What? We have Harry Potters in the government now?”
“I remind you, I’m one of those Harry Potters in addition to being a vampire. They are the most powerful faction aside from vampires and have constantly swerved between policies exterminating the other supernaturals or allying with us against the forces of darkness.”
“Sound like a great bunch. Real tolerant and enlightened. Less Gandalf and more Saruman.”
“I’m still invited to their parties. Just not allowed to date their daughters.”
“Date ’em anyway,” I said, smiling. “It’s what I did.”
Well tried to.
Okay, failed miserably at, but whatcha gonna do?
Thoth smiled.
“Have fun with Lucinda too,” I said, smiling back before cleaning off my face. “One last question, though.”
“Yes?”
“How long do zombies normally last?”
“Three weeks.”
“Thank you,” I said. “That was more time to enjoy with my best friend.”
“You are the master of time, Peter,” Thoth said. “Vampire powers are nothing more than forcibly awakened magical ones by demon blood. Time is your gift, and you will someday learn to master it. Also, becoming something other than a cute little dog.”
I gave him two flipped birds.
Thoth laughed and turned into a bat before flying off.
“Show-off!” I said, watching him disappear.
At that point, Lucinda walked over to us, leading the women of our group. Mina, Sam, and Yukie stood behind her. I really only wanted to speak to Yukie.
“I am sorry your slave was killed,” Lucinda said, softly.
I felt my head. “Uh-huh.”
“Back when I was the bastard son of a vizconde and kept as his depraved wife’s concubine, I prayed to Dark Masters of the Night to deliver me and change me into a girl,” Lucinda said as if this was the most normal thing in the world. “They agreed, and I have eternally served them ever since, protecting the human race and seeking to master the power of sciomancy or shadowmancy.”
“Is this going someplace, Luci?” I asked.
“Your friend was a good man, and I am sorry he is dead,” Lucinda said. “If you ever wish to host a bacchanalia in his honor, I will gladly make all the arrangements and sacrifices.”
“That’s great...thanks.”
Lucinda then grabbed me and picked me up in her arms, giving me a tight hug that almost crushed me. “Know that you are Vampire and that is something to be proud of! A warrior’s death is the highest honor any Bloodsworn can aspire to after becoming a god of the evening. They shall toast him in the First Circle of Hell where the righteous damned feast with succubi and the old gods.”
“I am completely consoled!” I said, really wishing she’d go away.
“Excellent!” Lucinda said, putting me down. “I shall send over a slaughtered bull and a Ferrari to you later this evening. Ciao.”
She walked away.
Sam, Mina, and I watched her disappear into the shadows before vanishing completely.
“Am I crazy or is she a thousand-year-old vampire Luna Lovegood?” I asked, shaking my head.
“I have no idea what that means,” Yukie said.
“She risked a lot to come here,” Sam said, looking depressed and worn out but feeling better than earlier. “The Mexican Catholic Church has broken away from the main branch and declared war on the vampire race. Coming here may have cost her the voivode-ship of the region.”
“She knows family is what’s important,” I said, looking over at Yukie. “So, how are you doing?”
“I’m sorry about David,” Yukie said.
I waved my hand. “Nope, can’t deal with it. I’m going to pretend he’s still alive for the next few hours until sunrise. Then when I wake up in the evening, I’m going to completely collapse. Until then, he’s off getting some finger food.”
Yukie gave a bitter smile. “Thank you for your help. I wished I could have participated in destroying Magog but stopping Gog made me realize there’s more to my life than revenge. I can give back to this world and hunt the world’s demons.”
I stared at him. “So, no chance of you staying in town?”
Yuki gave me a sad smile. “You would be sick of me within a week. Let us not ruin what we had.”
“I’m pretty sure a couple of extra tries would be fine.” I wondered if it was sick of me for asking about this with my dead friend nearby. I decided that it was something David would have approved of.
“Find someone who loves you, Peter, you deserve it,” Yukie said. “Someone living or dead.”
Yukie walked away in a somewhat less dramatic manner than her mother. I hoped those two had a chance to talk more. Mind you, I wasn’t sure what they would talk about. Neither struck me as particularly good conversationalists. Mind you, I loved my grandfather, and we exchanged all of ten words in our life. Most of them being variants of, “Want food, son?” or “You okay, son?” To which I’d usually reply in the affirmative.
Good man.
“That’s a helluva woman,” I said, watching her leave.
“You’re a hell of a guy,” Sam said, smiling. “You just need to remember you are a vampire and thus inherently cool.”
“Convenience store clerk,” I pointed out.
“Quit,” Sam said. “You have a couple of million dollars now that Thoth won’t mind you blowing. Buy a nice house, SUV, meet someone nice—”
“Are we actually trying to get me to enjoy life or become a vampire suburbanite? Because there are fates worse than death.”
Sam lowered her gaze. “I know.”
“Is it really so bad?” I asked, looking at her. “You summoned your magic back there. You had it in you all the time. Like the Force.”
“I thought the Force required midi-chlorians.”
“Please, never mention those again,” I said, shaking my head. “All I remember about those movies was Samuel L. Jackson kicking ass, Darth Maul, and the lava fight. Everything else is a nice little blur I blame on some good-hearted vampire erasing them.”
“This is like the time you told me Lando could have Leia any time he wanted to, isn’t it?”
“Because it’s true.”
Sam gave me a hug, and I was glad she was still alive. “You’re a decent creator, Peter. Though I’m going to have to ask you to command me not to kill my kids, innocents, or myself.”
“Uh, don’t do all three.”
“Thanks,” Sam said. “I consider that a big relief.”
“Being a vampire has a lot of advantages,” I said, putting my hand on her shoulder tentatively. “Yeah, we’re cursed and all, but life is a curse. It’s short, ugly, messy, and it ends.”
“So does immortality,” Sam replied. “A lot of vampires died here tonight.”
“And they died saving the world,” I said, shrugging. “If that doesn’t win us any points with the Man Upstairs—”
“Woman,” Sam corrected. “Also, I’m a polytheist.”
“Whatever,” I said, continuing, “I don’t know what will.”
Sam smiled and kissed me on the cheek. “Good luck, my creator. I’ll contact you when I need to learn how to summon rats.”
“That is a very useful power,” I said, pointing at her.
I looked back at the dust of my friend and saw it had blown away.
The coins were also missing.