“Fred . . . what the hell were you talking about with that girl?” Asha pushed the door the rest of the way open and stepped tentatively into the room. “And where did she go?”
A darting glance back showed me that Asha was right, Charlotte had indeed vanished into nothingness once more. Bad as the situation was, I also made sure to check my watch. The last thing I wanted was to get someone killed because I went a few minutes over time.
“Where’s Cliff?” I asked.
“Waiting outside a restroom where I gave him the slip,” Asha replied. The wonderment on her face was slowly being replaced by aggressiveness. Clearly, she didn’t like being kept in the dark. “I knew you were hiding something, so I decided to double back and see what you were up to. Though I didn’t expect to find you chatting it up with some lady about vampires.”
I winced, just the teensiest bit, at the mention of the V-word. Part of me had hoped she’d missed that part of the conversation. “Let’s start from the beginning: how much did you hear?”
“That is not the beginning, Fred. The beginning is you telling me what the fuck is going on, not trying to keep as much of this to yourself as possible.”
I took my briefcase over to the writing desk and set it down, then popped open the clasps and pulled out my laptop. This was done both because it was necessary, and to buy myself a few seconds with which I might consider my situation. Asha was here, she was tipped off to things not being what they seemed, and she wasn’t the type to let all this go. I could either tell her the truth, lie, or try and physically force her out the door. Given my degree of discomfort with confrontation, the last choice was already off the table, which only left trying to lie or telling her the truth.
“Do you really want to know?” My voice came out lower than I meant it to. I was just trying to convey the seriousness of the question, but it almost sounded threatening in the context. “Asha, what you’re asking about . . . you can’t ever unlearn it. Right now, you’re still on the other side. With enough time and mental distance, you’ll be able to rationalize all of this away. Once you cross the gap, there’s no going back. It’s hard, knowing the truth, even for me. For you, I can’t even imagine. So, please, think hard before you answer. Do you really want to know?”
I didn’t look at Asha as I set up my laptop, the slender silver marvel that I had probably spent too much on, but adored nonetheless. It took her until after I’d run the power cord and was halfway through syncing it to my phone’s internet connection (which had begun working again, thanks to Charlotte) for her to decide.
“Yes. I want to know what’s going on.” Her voice was softer than before, but there was no hesitation in it. She’d thought it through and come to a decision. Sad as I was about the one she’d reached, I was selfishly a bit glad as well. With less than an hour left to work in, every bit of help I could get would make a difference.
“The very, very, very short version is that Charlotte, the woman you saw, is actually a manifestation of the house we’re standing in. She was created by mages and enchanted to be alive, so the idea of Mr. Price tearing her down has her somewhat concerned.”
“What about you?”
“Ah, yes. That.” I turned around to face her, if for no other reason than it felt like the sort of news I should really deliver while looking someone in the eyes. “I’m a vampire, though you don’t have anything to fear. I buy my blood; I neither have the inclination nor skill to harm a living person. I’m sure this opens up a new avenue of questions, but as you heard, we’re working on a deadline, so please limit them to the truly essential.”
“This is why you left the firm.” Asha walked over to the bed and perched on the edge, eyes wide and vacant as her mind raced to assemble a puzzle she hadn’t even realized was there. “It’s why you started your own accounting practice. The Fred I knew would never have had the guts to do that on a whim, it had to be out of necessity.”
“A nine-to-five puts me in the path of too much sunshine than is good for my health. For the record, zero sunshine is my ideal amount.” I began pulling up files I’d thankfully saved to my hard drive, while also bringing up a browser window and opening a few tabs. I kept everything accounting related on the drive, since some parahumans lived outside cell and wi-fi coverage, but this situation reached beyond the tax code. I was going to need additional resources.
“Wow. So vampires are real. And living houses, evidently. Anything else?”
“Near as I can tell, almost everything else, in some form or fashion.” I clicked open a bookmark to a familiar site and scanned the page for what I needed. “Therians, who are what you’d call werewolves, though they come in many different breeds of animal, as well as zombies, mages, dragons, and devils; all of them are mixed in with the humans of the world.”
“You’ve seen all those things?” Asha’s voice was tipped on the knife-edge between wonderment and suspicion. She was taking the news well—far better than I had when I woke up as undead—but a healthy amount of doubt was perfectly forgivable. Given the situation, it was actually the most rational response a person could have.
“Truthfully, that was just a list of people in my social circle,” I said. “Anyway, the point is that we don’t exist in some lawless anarchy. Parahumans, that’s what we call ourselves, have laws and rights just like human citizens. We even have our own breaks in the tax code, to say nothing of the various laws that govern us. That’s what I’m looking for at the moment.”
Asha rose from her seat at the edge of the bed. “Let’s pump the brakes for a minute: you’re saying your kind, parahumans, have rights and laws, as in the things that are written in the constitution and ruled on by judges? How would a thing like that even be possible?”
“Remember, you’re getting the abridged version here, but parahumans were intrinsic in America’s founding. We helped create the nation, so it became a place where we were protected citizens, not monsters to be hunted.”
“My parents really weren’t kidding about it being a melting pot,” Asha muttered, running a hand through her thick hair. “Okay, assuming all of this is true, and I’m cutting you a lot of slack with that one, why haven’t I ever run across any laws referencing parahumans? I’m good at my job, and I would have noticed something like that.”
“Obviously, we have to keep our laws and codes separately,” I said. “I don’t how they did it in the old days, but for the last forty years or so, they’ve hidden them right in plain sight.” I tapped on my screen, pointing to the site I was currently downloading several .PDF files from.
Asha leaned in over my shoulder, her eyes going wide and a derisive snort slipping through her lips. “Swords, Spells, and Stealth: Modern Justice. You’re fucking with me. An entire secret part of our society, composed of several different breeds of supernatural creatures, has their law books in a tabletop role-playing game?”
“Law books, tax books, even a few historical accounts,” I replied. “It’s the perfect system, when you think about it. New editions come out periodically as things change, the documents can reference any type of parahuman needed without arousing suspicion, and the actual books are so boring that almost no role-player would actually bother reading them. A few people wonder how the company stays in business, but rumors of an eccentric billionaire who loves the game keep them fairly quelled.”
“This . . . this is a lot to take in,” Asha said. “I mean, seriously. Tonight has been weird, but I’m not sure I’m quite ready to hop aboard the crazy train you’re piloting just yet. Can you prove literally any of this?”
“You mean, aside from the magically closing doors, disappearing people, and unbreakable windows?” I turned upward, putting my face only a foot or so away from Asha’s, and opened my mouth. My fangs aren’t just on display for the world to see all the time; that would be unspeakably embarrassing. They usually only come out when I’m feeding, or when I’m riled up by a strong emotion. As I’ve gotten more accustomed to being undead, however, I’ve made a point of learning to do a few things. Marshaling my senses was one of them; controlling the extension of my fangs another.
“Holy shit!” Asha backpedaled away, nearly tripping over her feet in the hurry to get away as she watched my canines lengthen and shift into the iconic fangs associated with my people. I tried not to take the reaction personally. It had been a hard night, after all.
“You’re a vampire.” Her voice was scarcely above a whisper.
“Yes, and I don’t drink from people. We covered this already.” I didn’t enjoy being brusque, but I really did have only so long to work with. My teeth shrank back to their regular size as I turned to my computer. Only a little bit left to go on the first download.
“Right . . . but that was just . . . talk.” Asha shook her head once, tumbles of straight dark hair flying about in every direction. “Right. You’re a vampire, we’re stuck in a pissed-off magical house, and you think you have a way to stop it?”
“Its name is Charlotte,” I told her. “And yes, maybe. I remember a deduction that applies to ghosts who have exercised certain legal precedent. Unfortunately, my side of things only told me about how this action functioned financially and after it was used. Based on what I do know, however, it’s possible that the law could work for Charlotte’s situation as well. I just have to find it and wrangle through the legalese.”
“Sounds like a lot of ‘ifs’ and ‘maybes’ to me.” Asha crossed the room slowly, her eyes not wavering from me as she drew close. It seemed she was willing to take me at my word for the moment, but trust that I didn’t view her as a meal would come over time.
“Welcome to my world.” I clicked on the first document that finished downloading, bringing up the file. “This is all I can do, though. I’m not a good fighter, I don’t know magic, and I’m not nearly as foolhardily courageous as some of my friends. All I’ve got is a head for numbers and a willingness to slog through files and forms.”
“But you don’t know much about law,” Asha pointed out.
“Outside of the financial side of things, no, I don’t.”
“Well then, put the laptop a little more center so I can see it too.” Asha leaned forward, and as she did, I heard her heartbeat pick up. She was still scared, possibly more of me than of Charlotte, but she refused to let it stop her. I found myself reminded of why I had admired this woman from afar, back when we shared a building.
“Done and done,” I said, sliding the laptop over. “Now, all that’s left is to save the day with paperwork.”
“Shhh. Be quiet, Fred. I’m reading.”