Jens was too afraid for many reasons to leave me alone at night with Jamie, so I slept in my guardian gnome’s arms while a mattress was brought in for Jamie to sleep on the floor. It was not ideal, but really, we were on a vigilante mission spanning mythological countries. None of our travel arrangements would be ideal.
Sometime in the middle of the night, I heard the rhythm of Jamie’s heavy breathing stall. Then it picked up, taking on the cadence of an animal giving chase. My eyes opened, and I saw Jamie on all fours, growling and panting like a madman. I gasped at the drastic change, and the noise set him off. Jamie jumped to his feet and roared at me, lunging for my face as if he meant to tear it from my body.
“No!” I shouted. Before I could do anything else, Jens was awake and wrestling Jamie on the floor. I moved to the furthest corner of the bed and pulled my knees to my chest to avoid being swept into the rumble. Though Jamie was determined in his haze to attack me, Jens was ready for the task of taming his best friend. In no time at all, Jens had Jamie in a sleeper hold on the ground. He reached for his hand and did that pinch and stroke three times before Jamie went limp in his arms.
“Did he get you?” Jens asked, trying to catch his breath as he stood, cracking his neck.
“Jens, I don’t want to do this! Can you take me home? Can we be done with Undraland? Please?” I begged. Seeing the meek and kind Jamie try to tear my face off was too jarring to put in a neat little compartmentalized drawer.
Jens turned his back to me, and I could tell he was fiddling with the pouch at his neck. He inhaled something, and I watched his shoulders relax. “It’s okay, baby. Just lay back down. Come on.” He stepped over Jamie and pulled the covers out so I could get down inside them. He slid into the bed between Jamie and I. “He’ll be fine for the rest of the night. Jamie’s nothing to be scared of.”
Despite his attempts to pacify me, I was shaking like a leaf under the covers as he drew me into his arms. His long body was strong, and I tried to draw comfort from the bulk. “I don’t like this,” I told him in a whisper.
“I know.” He kissed my lips once and focused on rubbing reassurance into my back with his thumb. “I’m here. Go to sleep. I’ve always kept you safe.”
I clung to him, but it was at least another hour until either of us drifted off to sleep.
When the morning came, we all met in our hut, since it was the only one not being shared with a Nightdwarf family, but was reserved for guests of honor. Jamie could not look at me, and I couldn’t blame him. I’d overheard a lot of his lusty musings concerning Britta during the night through our psychic connection after his attack, and I could tell he knew. It would be a long journey of finding our stride.
I set about making Britta my new best friend, which really wasn’t much of a leap. We were dressed for the journey, my lovely gown packed away in Jens’ magical bag that could probably fit a rhinoceros inside if that’s what we wanted. Britta sat next to me on the bed, twisting my hair into several braids that were pinned up on my head so my long curls wouldn’t be a hindrance. As Uncle Rick explained the plan, I did the same to her hair, loving that we matched.
Oh, her hair’s so perfect when it’s out of those braids. Mm, Britta. I wish I could throw away her bonnet so she’d have no choice but to show me that beautiful hair. Jamie’s thoughts were sweet, and much more G-rated in the daytime. Freya has the teeth of a horse, and hair to match.
I coughed to cover my small laugh at Jamie’s thoughts.
Uncle Rick continued talking to the group. “We decided it would be best to let them think we’ve left their kingdom before striking down the portal. We’ll team up with the Toms and hide on the outskirts of their land until dark. Then Tor will take the rake and destroy the portal, leaving the rake with Jens to bring to the next destination. This time we all stay together.”
This seemed reasonable to everyone, so we packed our bags and said our goodbyes to King Dane and his queen. Tor, Foss, Jamie and I received special gifts from them, as well. I bowed to them as the queen placed a heavy necklace around my neck. “A token of our friendship to yer kind,” she explained.
Ah, they’re making allies with humankind with a necklace. I thanked them and looked down, unable to keep my eyes from bugging out. The gold necklace was encrusted with so many diamonds and opals, I could not count them all. And the size of the jewels? I felt like I might get mugged at any second. I itched to take it off, but knew that would be a slap in the face the Nightdwarves would never forgive.
Jamie and Foss each received a golden axe, and I couldn’t decide if they were decorative or actually useful. Tor was given a new double-sided axe he couldn’t take his eyes off of. The king and queen kissed both my cheeks, and then we parted ways. Uncle Rick was adamant that we be seen leaving in the opposite direction in which we were going to head that night. If they thought we were trekking back up the mountains we’d just come from, then when the Nøkken portal on the other side was destroyed, we would not be as suspect.
I walked with my arm looped through Jamie’s as we made our way through the small aboveground village. I know we had to show them that our people were a united front, but I could feel Jens staring a hole through my back as I walked, and it made me jumpy. “Hey, Britta. How much do you think this necklace is worth?” I asked, bringing her to my other side. If I was going to be stuck with Jamie, then Britta was going to be stuck being my BFF, whether she felt like it or not. I wouldn’t have another person’s life be ruined by this whole laplanding mess. Britta deserved to be happy, and I wasn’t going to screw that up for her.
The more Britta and I chatted on our way, the more animated she became. She smiled and didn’t mind explaining things to me that everyone else already knew. Then it dawned on me: she didn’t see me as competition because she did not see herself as a worthy competitor for Jamie’s heart.
Pfft. When I got through with her, Jamie wouldn’t know what hit him. There would be no more talk of the two of us falling in love. They would have each other because she would always be around me.
Checkmate.
It was already working. Jamie and Britta guessed at how many houses in Tonttu the necklace would buy, and spun off into a whole conversation about different areas that were best for mining or whatever. I stopped paying attention.
I looked over my shoulder and winked at Jens, who smirked at my cunning. I could see his relief that there might actually be a way to make our burgeoning relationship work.
Job one, done. Job two was a bit more complicated. Getting to the opposite border we wanted to go to, disappearing, helping Tor destroy the portal with the rake while the dwarves were still nursing their hangovers, and going across Nightdwarf territory incognito. Piece of cake.
Uncle Rick and Tor were just ahead of me, and I picked up bits of their quiet conversation over Jamie’s veiled flirting with Britta.
Uncle Rick held tight to the mission as we waited out the sun. He didn’t want us to attack the portal only minutes after leaving the Warf. “And whatever you do, don’t go through to the Land of Be when you’re destroying the portal. You’ll forfeit your arm and your soul, and you’ll be of no use to anyone then.”
Tor nodded, hefting his pack up on his shoulder. “Yep. There’s no chance of us looking fer our family inside?”
Uncle Rick’s answer was firm with no room for confusion. “Not if you want to help us shut Pesta down for good. Their souls were separated from their bodies once they entered Be. Your family isn’t who you remember anymore. Their bodies are merely shells now.” He squinted into the distance. “I can’t imagine a more tragic sight than one of yours existing as a shell. You’re best when you’re robust and full of the life you exude. Pesta did your family a great disservice, taking such hearty souls.”
“Aye.” Tor did not respond other than that, only kept moving forward. Nik clapped him on the shoulder in solidarity as we walked. I hoped that when it was my turn, it would be over quickly so I would not be tempted.
Uncle Rick pulled out a piece of parchment paper and a crude pencil, thrusting them toward me. “Darling, in your clearest handwriting, I need you to write something for me.”
“Okay, sure.” I took the paper and pressed it to my knee so I had some sort of a surface to scribble on. When he told me what to write, I raised an eyebrow at my uncle, but obeyed, signing my name to the bottom as instructed. I handed over the paper. “What’s it for?” I asked. You’ll never find me seemed like something that might stir up trouble.
Uncle Rick gave me an indulgent smile with his signature eye-twinkle. “A little gift for the Mouthpiece,” he answered, putting the paper on the ground and sticking a rock atop it. “By leaving it on this side, but traveling on the rest of our journey in the opposite direction, we’ll lead the Mouthpiece up the wrong mountain. I heard tell at your welcoming party that the Mouthpiece was coming to meet Queen Lucy for himself and offer a treaty of peace. We’ll most likely be long gone before he reaches the Warf.”
“Oh, good,” I stated flatly.
Jamie called to Tor, “You know, Lucy’s never heard of your heroics on the battlefield.”
Tor grumbled. “She doesn’t want ta hear about that.”
I skipped up to his side in my blue Chuck and my black, loving the feel of my regular clothes. I threw my arms around Tor in a hug that was certain to annoy my favorite dwarf. “I heard King Dane call you Torsten the Flighty. How’d you manage that title? Is it because you’re always losing your keys?”
“Little girl, tha things I’ve seen would make yer hair curl.”
“Well, my hair’s already curly, so it can’t be that bad. Did you give the king a nice foot massage? Braid his hair for him? He sure seems taken with you.” Henry Mancini yapped as he scampered along next to me.
Tor glared at me and shook his head. “I slaughtered three trolls single-handedly, I’ll have ya know. I saved tha Daydwarves from an attack in their district years ago, and that united our tribes.” He looked more surly than usual. “Ya do one decent thing, and they build ya a pedestal. King Dane woulda taken care of it ’ventually, but tha queen was aboveground in the fields when tha trolls came out. I stepped up, and that’s how I got on Alrik’s map.”
Uncle Rick was grave, despite the levity I tried to bring. “I chose you all for your bravery, sure. But I also chose you because you lost a great deal of loved ones to Pesta, and yet you resisted her charms. Physical strength is always a necessity, but strength of character is of great import, as well.” He continued walking, setting a brisk pace. “Torsten lost seven family members in one day to Pesta, yet he continues on.”
“A warrior has no place in tha Land of Be. I won’t leave my armor behind.” Tor was extra grouchy to cover over being revered. It made me want to pinch his cheeks just to piss him off. He sniffed the air. “Something’s not right. We should move quicker.”
Foss looked over his shoulder and saw nothing unusual. Still, we quickened our pace. Instead of disappearing at the furthest hut from the main village, we ducked behind the nearest one. Jens pulled the rake out from his pack and handed it to Tor. The usual awe and scrutiny of the ordinary object was to be expected. Tor softening was not.
“Now listen ta me, ya lot. I’ve fought with a great many warriors for many a good cause. I count ya up there with the best of ’em, and this cause the highest importance.” He nodded, facing us with the rake in his hand. “It’s been an honor.”
Tor said his goodbyes briefly to each of them while I hung back with Henry Mancini. Uncle Rick busied himself with what he called “the ultimate diversion” after he hugged the dwarf. Tor bid everyone farewell for their own sake, but deep down, he was like me. We didn’t believe in goodbyes or dwelling on things that didn’t need talking about.
We paired up with the three Tomten, each of them taking two of us, with me holding Henry Mancini. Tor held up his hand. “Wait. It might be my last time out in tha sun fer a while, and I’d like ta walk with Jamie and Lucy, if that’s alright.”
We resituated with Jens walking behind us so he could keep an eye on me for the few steps we remained visible. I wondered if I would ever get used to people putting such a high premium on my life. I felt a tingle go up my arm and knew Jamie had made us disappear from sight as we stepped out from behind the hut.
“Now listen ta me, you two,” Tor began, speaking lowly to Jamie and me in his usual gruff demeanor. “I’ve known two who’ve laplanded with someone they wasn’t married ta, and they didn’t end so well. One drove a spike through her temple, and tha other… Well, none of them ended in a way proper ta talk about in fronta ladies.”
“I’m not getting married, Tor,” I said with absolution. “Not to Jamie or anybody. Now that I know I’m not insane, I won’t give myself a concussion anymore.”
Tor looked past Jamie to me. “Yer still a child. Ya don’t know how yer life’s going ta end up. But one thing’s sure, if ya go off on yer own again, banging your head or trying to end yerself in some foolish way, you’ll end Jamie, too. His death’ll be on yer head. A human killing a Tomten prince? That’s grounds fer war if I ever heard it.”
A lump formed in my throat as the urge to run jumped up and choked me. The desire to wake up from this never-ending bad dream was palpable. Jamie squeezed my hand, but I felt nothing. As it was when confronted with a failed life plan, I was hollow inside. A smile with no substance. A body with no bones.
I hugged Henry Mancini to my chest, hoping he could find me in my black hole. “I’ll be careful.”
“Yer whole life? I’ve known ya for a coupla weeks, and I’ve not known ya ta be a careful one who values yer own neck.”
“Which is it? You want me to be careful, or be like you?”
Tor growled at me. “Yer one insufferable female, Lucy Kincaid. Heaven help tha men stuck with ya.”
I cast around for some end to his lecture. “What do you want from me? We can’t all be Torsten the Mighty. Some of us are just trying to make it through.”
“What’s tha point in that?”
“It’s done. We laplanded. I’m dealing. Jamie’s dealing. You can back off. I’ll make sure Jamie’s safe. He can marry whoever he likes and I’ll hole up in the attic. I can’t imagine how any of this concerns you.”
“You, Lucy. Yer my concern. Ya have ta do better than survive. Ya have to live!” Still holding tight to Jamie’s hand and the rake, Tor kept his eyes on the portal we were approaching. “When all this is done, ya’ll come see me and drive me mad some more, ya hear?”
“Only if I can shave your dreads off.”
Tor squinted at me to make sure I was kidding. I was not.
He stopped and sniffed the air again, his posture stiffening when we were just a few meters from the portal, which was unguarded. With Jamie holding our hands, he turned and faced us. “Something’s off. Keep yer hand tight ta me while I do this, Jamie.”
Jamie nodded, sliding his hand to Tor’s shoulder so the dwarf could have full use of his arms as he aimed the rake at the portal framed in dwarf bones.
The shorter skeletons stared at me with their black eye cavities and torn open jaws. Femurs and forearms were stacked end-to-end several inches wide to give the structure a bit of substance. I blanched at the macabre sight, my skin crawling to run away, lest the bones somehow animate and chase me around while I scream like a crazy person.
Then I heard it. A series of snorts closed in around us while Henry Mancini snarled in my arm.