I awoke to the smell of Jens. It was the familiar scent of sugar cookies that made my spirits swell and swoon. I’d missed the smell of him so much, my heart hurt. When I opened my eyes, he was not there. Jens was probably dead, and the world still turned. The cookie smell was most likely Brenda making cookies in the kitchen in the middle of the night. I closed my eyes and fell back asleep to fend off Undraland a little while longer.
When the door opened several hours later, I turned to see Foss coming in carrying a tray with tea, a crust of bread and a few pieces of the delicious blue fruit on it. He gave me a forced smile to answer my tired salute, slid the tray onto the table next to the bed and sat on the edge of the mattress, covering his face with his large hands. Something caught my attention, and I reached up to pull his palm away.
I pointed at his black eye and silently asked how he’d acquired the shiner. No doubt his charming personality had something to do with it.
“It’s a long story.”
I moved to sit up, but he pushed my shoulder back into the sheets.
“We have to talk. Actually, it’s probably best you’re not talking today, because you’re not going to like all of it.” He took a deep breath, and I waited for him to gather his thoughts. “Good stuff first? Yeah, how about the good stuff first.” He rubbed his palms together as he spoke. I could tell he was nervous. “The chief, Tomas and I talked all night about the portal, and the plan’s a go. You were right about breaking out the good Gar last night. Or maybe I didn’t even need to. I can’t believe just asking the chief actually worked. The chief’s been looking for a way to stick it to Pesta; he just didn’t think we’d go for something so radical. Plus, we needed the rake, which thanks to you, we have now.”
My eyebrows rose. That was certainly a good thing. I rubbed the glass heart on my sternum, drawing comfort from having my brother in some way with me. Another portal would fall, and this time without so much bloodshed. Thoughts of Nik weighed heavy on my chest. As much as Foss and I had our differences, I didn’t want him to end up like that.
“Tomas is onboard, provided anyone who wants to go to Be is allowed one last chance. Not ideal, but it’s fine. Olaf was against tearing the portal down at all, but he got outvoted. He’s not pleased, but the chief was pretty mad at him when the conversation started out, so he won’t cause a problem. Did I say thanks for saving my life?”
I nodded, a hint of a smile touching my lips as I lay on the pillow.
Despite the great news, Foss still wouldn’t look at me, nor did he appear relieved. “Okay. Now for the other stuff.” It was then I noticed small pellets of sweat forming on Foss’s forehead. “I shouldn’t have left you here alone when I went to go get Jamie. I should’ve been watching how much he was drinking. I should’ve done a lot of things different.”
I gave him a shrug. We all should have done things different. No use being so upset about it.
“Viggo warned me, but I didn’t pay attention. I was focused on the mission. I should have kept a better eye on Kirstie. Maybe explained things to her. I don’t know. Women are impossible.”
I sat up and wrapped my arms around Foss. He was so distraught. I didn’t understand all of it, but it couldn’t be that bad. My neck felt weird, but I tried to focus my foggy brain on Foss for the moment.
He stiffened, and then deflated in my embrace. “You should stop being nice to me. Your boyfriend’s already mad as a bull.” He indicated his black eye.
Boyfriend? I guessed he meant Jamie. I wished he wouldn’t make jokes like that. Jamie and I had enough problems to work through without adding nonsense labels that didn’t apply to us.
He cleared his throat. “And that kiss was just for show, you know. Not worth mentioning.”
I nodded, shrugging as if to say, “no kidding.” We did not speak of the other kisses that happened in private. They felt like a distant dream, but in the back of my mind I could tell they were real. Both our eyes locked in on the blue fruit on the tray he brought me, and we swallowed thickly in unison at the memory of the juices he’d sucked off my lips.
“So, we won’t mention it,” he confirmed, just as relieved as I was not to have to look further at the mess. He cleared his throat again, and I could tell he was nervous. “Viggo told me Kirstie wasn’t submitting to you as the lady of the house, but I didn’t want to deal with her.”
When I pulled back, I noticed the letter H on his shirt written in charcoal. I rubbed it off as he took the tea and food off the shiny silver tray. My neck was itchy, but when I moved my hand to scratch it, my hair was not its usual maze to get through. Just the ends of my hair brushed against my fingers. My brows furrowed together as I gripped my hair, letting out a choked scream when I found almost a foot of my curls had been hacked away while I slept.
Foss flipped the tray so I could see my reflection in the shiny surface. In black charcoal, I had “whore” written across my face, with half the H smudged from hugging Foss, who still could not look at me.
“She snuck in here while I was corralling Jamie, who was behaving like a drunken fool. She cut off your hair and wrote that on your face.”
I examined my reflection with shaking fingers. I’d never seen my face with “whore” on it before, but now I knew I’d never forget the sight. I’d never had short hair, either. I always wanted to know what I would look like with it, but my parents insisted I keep it long. Linus joked that if I cut it off, no one would be able to tell us apart.
What was left of my mane was choppy and hung just past my chin, uneven and crazy looking. I looked completely mental. For the first time in who knows how long, I saw myself. Bags under my eyes, thinned out cheeks and dry skin with fear etched all over me. Everything about my appearance was unsettling, but the fear was disgusting. That wasn’t me.
I needed a rag, water and scissors. I swung my legs off the bed, shorn strands of my hair flying in the air and fluttering to the floor.
“I’m sorry, Lucy. I’m so sorry. I wasn’t in control of my household.”
Though I was upset, Foss seemed more disturbed by my appearance than I was.
“I put her out. Gave Kirstie to Olaf as a peace offering between our tribes. She won’t bother you anymore.”
My mouth fell open, but I did not argue his decision. I guess I was lucky all she did was mutilate my hair. I stood before him, just a few inches taller even though he was sitting down. I placed my hand on his shoulder and waited until he met my eyes. I shrugged off the horror and offered him my best “whatcha gonna do” face.
“Don’t be nice to me. Not after everything that’s happened. Kirstie stole the only good thing about you. You’re hideous now, and it’s my fault.”
I flicked his ear for calling me hideous and reducing my worth to my looks. Then I went out to the kitchen to retrieve what I needed to clean myself up, ignoring Foss’s call to me that he was not done talking yet.
I touched my Linus heart, relieved my brother was somewhat with me through the ordeal. I know it sounds dumb, but the necklace made it feel like part of Linus was still with me. It seemed everything would be a little easier to figure out now that I had him over my heart again.
Erika was crying, actually crying about my hair and my face. That put things into perspective for me. I was getting upset over a bad haircut. There were worse things to cry about, so I saved my tears for a worse day. In Undraland, I was sure there’d be plenty to choose from.
Brenda ordered me to sit down so ferociously, I didn’t dare disobey. She wiped off my face with a wet rag while Erika fetched me a new red dress that was less fancy, but still a notch above the brown house gowns the servants wore. She poured me some water and watched me drain the cup before letting me up.
Erika accompanied me to the bath house, insisting on scrubbing me down. She was in a more delicate state than I was about the whole thing, her tears mingling with the water from the sponge she dripped down my back. Such drama. Sweet girl, but the whole thing was a little melodramatic for me.
I took the shears I’d pocketed from the kitchen and went to work on what was left of my hair. Erika fetched the silver tray for me so I could see my reflection. It could have been a lot worse. My curls fell two inches below my chin, and I worked to add in layers so it hung even in parts and uneven in others. When I finished, I dipped in the water again to rinse off the stray follicles and dried myself off, marveling at how quick it was to towel-dry my hair. If I had some gel, I could’ve been a straight up rock star. I grinned at my reflection, unable to stop from admiring the stark difference the shorter look had on my whole appearance.
This was a new start. This was a good thing. I would make it a good thing, so help me. There had been too much bad as it was.
Erika slipped the red dress over my head, befuddled when I kissed her cheek. “You look happier than I’ve ever seen you. Why? Your hair is gone!”
I ran my fingers through my tight curls, grinning at the lightness I felt all over my body. I kissed her other cheek, cheering her up as we walked back to the house. The servants regarded me with pity, some even looking away from my amazing new haircut as if they could not handle the horror.
I went back to Foss’s room, which was empty. Foss was yelling at Jamie in Jamie’s room. My sheets had already been changed and my room swept, all evidence of the assault gone. I grinned and flopped on the crimson sheets, knowing that if my mother could see me now, she’d flip out and say something about a woman’s hair being her crowning glory.
Now I’m a rock star. In a renaissance dress. I’m the shiz.
“Hey, Moxie,” came a voice so dear to me, I nearly jumped out of my skin when I heard it.
The world and everything in it stopped when Jens materialized out of thin air in the middle of my room.