So, Fanelli wanted to go to Vegas for the night in the worst kind of way. I stopped by his office for a smoke and heard him on the phone with the travel agent. He was yelling.
“Listen, hon,” he bellowed. “Doll. Maybe I didn’t make myself clear. I want to rent, I want waiting at the curb at the airport, a white convertible El Dorado. Did you get that? White. I want the biggest, baddest Cadillac fucking El Dorado there is to be had, and it better be there the second the plane lands and it better be fucking white.” He slammed down the phone. “I love dealing with the simple American public!”
“Fanelli,” I said. “I can understand wanting a Cadillac. I can understand the convertible part. But why white?”
He looked at me with that gesture of his hands, wide away from his body, that indicated my-God-you-can-be-so-stupid-it-appalls-me, and he said in his most condescending tone. “Black for Tahoe. White for Vegas.”
The reason Fanelli wanted to go to Vegas was that Fanelli was arranging his own bachelor party. Fanelli was getting married, and as he said, he didn’t trust the rest of us mindless jerks to arrange it. “I mean, Cubans and steaks in the cigar room at Frank’s and then on to Billy’s Topless. What kind of shit is that?”
Fanelli was getting married because he had fallen in love during the Hamptons summer with an English girl named Anthea. Anthea worked in an advertising agency, which seemed incredibly glamorous to us, although she said she did it mainly because she could wear painter’s pants and ripped men’s T-shirts to work and nobody said a thing. Obsessed as we were with the finer points of Italian tailoring, this seemed like a good deal to us, although, when he met her, she was standing at the bar in a gold lamé microskirt and a sheer golden blouse through which you could see the dark aureole of her nipples, and she looked like a model, which is what she used to be before she went back to school and became an art director. “Standing around all day in other people’s clothes,” was all she had to say about the modeling profession in general.
I think she played the English girl thing a little too hard, and she looked like she had chopped off her hair with a pair of dull paper scissors, but she was a good thing and she could smoke cigars with us and drink almost anybody under the table.
She never went to work before eleven because she had such a strenuous nightlife, and she said that, when her bosses remarked that she was late, she always simply said, “Yes, I am, actually.” She said making up excuses was the way to hell because she had to make up so many of them and she had to remember what she’d said the time before and there were only so many times you could say you had to take the dog you didn’t have to the vet, or wait for the plumber, and that, anyway, part of her job was to suck up the culture as it was happening at that very moment and then spew it back out in the pages of magazines and flickering TV screens in the half-dark living rooms of Cleveland and Mobile and it wasn’t her fault if so much of the culture happened to take place at two in the morning.
Anthea made it through the radar because she was like all the girls who made it through the radar. She was tall. She was thin. She wasn’t a total moron. And she brought something to the party, what with her cigar-smoking, Remy-swilling ways. Referring to her weight and her remarkable bone structure she said, “I am a girl composed entirely of dairy products.”
So Fanelli had spent $50K on a ring and taken her to Chantarelle and they were going to be married in two weeks. I was going to be a groomsman.
They were in fact, going to be married twice, once in New York and once, the following summer, in England, where of course her parents were some sort of landed gentry and lived in some enormous, drafty pile and everybody would show up in hats and morning jackets and drink sherry on the lawn before the wedding, which would be performed by dear Vicar somebody or other.
She knew everybody in the fashion world. Geoffrey Beene was making her wedding dress. Kevyn Aucoin was doing her makeup. He’s dead now. Painkiller overdose, after making so many cadaverous girls look so fabulous.
So steaks and topless bars seemed a little underwhelming to Fanelli. He was in love, and vowed that once he was married he was going to change his ways and become a regular person and move to Greenwich and have children who would have two middle names in that English way and he just wouldn’t be available on the let’s-go-to-William’s-on-Carmine-Street-and-pick-up-an-eight-ball circuit anymore. So he wanted Vegas for one night.
He wanted Vegas and everything it had to offer in the way of illicit, drunken, lewd behavior.
Anthea, who hauled in $200K a year just to make girls’ hair shine, not bad cash for a twenty-six-year-old visitor to our shores, was going to Jamaica with three friends for the weekend to dance with Rasta boys and smoke big spliffs and come home completely unnerved by the whole experience. She was really just like one of the guys and that’s why we liked her and didn’t feel so badly that Fanelli was moving away from us.
So it was Trotmeier, and Frank, who was so large and not small-boned—so big in fact that he had a special clause written into his contract that said he could take a limo to work every morning because he couldn’t fit into an ordinary cab, and had to fly first class whenever he traveled on business—
and, of course, there was Fanelli and me.
We landed in Las Vegas at three on Saturday afternoon. I was a little peaked, since I’d been up all night the night before with Carmela, having the usual you-don’t-love-me-enough discussion, but a couple of gin and tonics and a power nap on the plane had put a little color back in my cheeks. I just didn’t feel ready to be festive enough, so I knew I’d have to dig deep and suck it up to get through all the carnage.
Sure enough, there was a big white El Dorado parked at the curb, with a cowering little girl from Hertz holding the keys for Fanelli. He gave her fifty dollars. “See?” said Fanelli. “We’re having fun already!”
We pulled up at Caesar’s Palace in a big hoopla of vulgarity and testosterone. They’d seen it all before. They didn’t raise an eyebrow. Fanelli said Vegas was the only town in the world where you could land, rent a car, stay the weekend, and return the car with less than five miles on it.
We could have taken a cab for a lot less, but Big Frank wouldn’t fit, and he would have whinged all the way. That was an English thing Anthea had taught us. “Oh, stop whingeing,” she would say, when Frank made a ruckus because his steak wasn’t really black and blue.
At the desk they gave me a key to my room, and I asked how to get there. “First you go through the casino,” said the key keeper. In Vegas, at Caesar’s Palace, to get anywhere you have to go through the casino. “And then you turn right at Cleopatra’s Barge, our floating restaurant, and then you walk down the hall until you come to the eighteen-foot statue of Joe Louis and then you turn left and take the elevator up to Room 1812 in the Fantasy Tower.” And he was absolutely right.
When we checked in, Fanelli gave us each an envelope and said, “Welcome to Vegas boys. See you for dinner at eight. Look sharp.”
This is what Room 1812 looked like: it was really big. It was aqua. It was on two levels.
On the upper level, there was an eight-foot round bed, covered in a burgundy velvet bedspread. There was one chair. On the night table, there was a clock radio that was literally broken in half, as though the previous tenant had taken a pickax to it after a bad night.
There was a single small window, through which you could look out across the desert, except that the window was covered with a cement trellis, so you could just get these tiny little glimpses through the interstices. The window didn’t open. They really didn’t want anybody to get a notion to jump out the window of Room 1812 after a bad night at the tables. No matter how desperate you were, you were not about to jump out of Room 1812 in the Fantasy Tower.
But here’s the incredible part. Next to the bed, literally six feet away, on the lower level, there was an eight-foot octagonal, three-foot-deep Jacuzzi, like an above-ground pool. Eighteen stories above ground. I guessed that was the fantasy part of the Fantasy Tower.
I had to search to find the toilet, a tiny closet hidden away on the other side of the room. Everything in there was petite—a tiny toilet, a minuscule shower and sink.
I opened Fanelli’s envelope. Inside, there were six condoms, a gram of cocaine, and ten one-hundred-dollar bills, along with a note that said, “Thanks for sharing my last night on earth as we know it.” Fanelli was a generous guy.
I tried to lie down for a while and it was then I noticed that directly over the bed there was an equally large mirror. I wouldn’t have believed it either, except I was there.
Sleep wouldn’t come. I kept thinking of myself floating on the mirrored ceiling, I kept trying to take in the whole of it, the gestalt, and it was just too mind-boggling. I guess Vegas just isn’t a nap kind of town.
So I got up, did a few lines of Fanelli’s excellent coke, and that perked me right up. I decided to go prowl.
In the casino, there was every kind of craven face you could imagine. There were a lot of fat people. There were a lot of Asians. It smelled like sweat—and money, of which there were vast amounts exchanging hands.
At the slots, there was a seventy-year-old woman at a slot machine in a thin housedress and bedroom slippers relentlessly pulling the handle with a bucket of quarters in front of her and a cigarette dangling from her withered lips.
I thought, how could a habit that is so sexy and attractive in young people be so dirty and repellent in the old? Note to self: Give up smoking at forty. You can behave badly and still be charming and people get over it. Behave unattractively and just watch the velvet ropes go up all over town. I would be the only person in history to give up smoking not for health but for fashion. But I thought: What the hell, I didn’t come to Vegas to give up smoking.
I didn’t bet in the afternoon. I just wandered around, scoping out the joint. It was vast, and there were no clocks, like in the office, and people were basically behaving like they did on the trading floor. I felt perfectly at home.
I drank cocktails and watched the action. The cool silence of the blackjack table. The heated frenzy of a hot craps table, the sweaty drear of a cold one. The timid bettors, the ones who couldn’t not play even knowing they couldn’t afford to lose. The expansive ranchers with stacks of black chips sitting in front of them. The honeymoon couples, playing with Daddy’s money.
My life seemed so large to me, wandering through the casino; young, with a lot of future and a lot of money and a lot of girls and a gram of cocaine upstairs in the Fantasy Tower. I could feel the pulse of the room. I knew I was going to win and I had time.
There were hookers everywhere. Beautiful girls. But I didn’t feel like sex at the moment. I just wanted to be an ordinary American who had flown to Vegas with his best friends and arrived in a white El Dorado with three other rich, good-looking young men to take in the sights. I got sentimental for Fanelli, for his generosity, for his expansive good nature, for the night after night we had sat together drinking and talking about things, not the first one of which I could recall. And laughing. Always laughing at the little people.
I didn’t play because I didn’t want to lose. I only wanted to win and that would come later. I could feel it in my blood.
I looked at my watch. It was seven o’clock. There was no other way to gauge time. You couldn’t look outdoors. At Caesar’s Palace, there was no outdoors, and no time.
On my way to my room, I saw a couple in tennis whites come in through one of the smoked glass doors. I looked at them, astonished that there were tennis courts at the hotel, that anybody would come to Vegas to play tennis. The brief glimpse of sky through the sliding doors showed bloodred and pale blue.
Freshly showered and shaved, coked up and wearing a sober blue suit, I showed up for dinner exactly at eight. Dinner was in the Frank Sinatra Room. Everybody else was there, a bottle of $250 Bordeaux uncorked on the table.
It was a little spooky. There were big photographs of Frank and the boys all over the room. All of them are dead now, and even then they were pretty old. They were from another time, a time when Vegas was brand new, when nobody took a pickax to the bedside clock.
“Welcome to the New Rat Pack,” said Fanelli as I sat down.
“Frank Sinatra had all his suits made by the same tailor, and they were all lined in orange silk,” I said.
“How do you know such an enormous number of useless things?” asked Fanelli.
“Frank Sinatra’s tailor made me a suit, when I was in Los Angeles. Ugliest suit I ever had. Lined in orange silk.”
Fanelli had had a good day. He’d checked in with a $100 chip in his pocket, left over from an earlier venture in Vegas. Without thinking, on his way to his room, he put the chip on thirty-two, his lucky number, at the first roulette table he passed.
Thirty-two had come in, so he was up thirty-five hundred. He then pulled back, played the corners and the splits, and thirty-six had come in. He pulled back again, left two hundred on thirty-two, and, incredibly enough, thirty-two hit again. He walked away with almost twenty thousand before he put the key in his door. He was feeling expansive, and sentimental.
So he spent three thousand dollars on three hookers, each one a different ethnic persuasion, none of them Caucasian. “I’ll have enough of white meat,” he said. “Very soon.”
Arcane positions. Frothy sex in the overflowing Jacuzzi. He made it all sound hysterically fun, and he did look remarkably refreshed.
The girls had stayed silent long enough for him to call Anthea to tell her how much he adored her. Fanelli felt it was the least he could do, and besides, he did, he really did adore her.
Dinner, which was surprisingly good, was a fountain of expensive libation and unbridled hilarity. Everything seemed right. The company of my best friends, the pictures of Sinatra, the overpriced, overdressed food, the bored waiters who’d seen every kind of behavior man is capable of producing, no doubt, and carried on with a kind of faux hauteur that, in itself, added to the hilarity of it all.
Talk of vintages and women and all the times we’d gotten wrecked together and done strange and funny things, and endless talk of money and how much of it there was to be had in the world. Just put a chip on your lucky number. Let the wheel roll. Like taking candy from a baby.
We gave Fanelli his wedding present. We’d gotten a sterling cigar box at Tiffany’s, and had all our signatures engraved on it, and then filled it with Cuban cigars. It brought Fanelli to tears of deep and empathic sentimentality. There was a danger of losing the festivity of the moment, he was so moved, even though he knew Anthea would never let him smoke once they got married. She loathed it.
Frank kept the ball rolling. Frank had awakened one morning not long before, still drunk, and he had had a big meeting early and he was rushing around getting dressed, when he suddenly realized he couldn’t remember how to tie a necktie. He kept trying in front of the bathroom mirror. Nothing.
Luckily, Frank was the kind of guy who kept everything he’d ever owned, and he remembered that he had the card that came with his very first necktie, a card that had simple diagrams showing a thirteen-year-old boy how to tie a necktie, and he’d managed to find it, but he still couldn’t follow the diagram.
So he’d just draped his best tie around his neck, gone downstairs to hail a cab, and was seated in the back reading the Journal when he caught his reflection in the rearview mirror. “My God,” he thought, thinking of other things, “I forgot to tie my necktie.” And he effortlessly reached up and tied a perfectly dimpled double Windsor without even looking. That’s the kind of guy Frank was. Never daunted in public. He walked into the meeting clean shaven, perfectly dressed, a true white-collar drunk, and he performed brilliantly, recommending all kinds of intricate maneuvers to a ski-binding manufacturer who was filthy rich and who started the meeting by looking at Frank and saying, “Young man. Do I look to you like the kind of man who pays taxes?”
There were toasts, in which we wished Fanelli happy days and fair, despite his many, many former indiscretions, most of which were elaborately detailed.
Fanelli stood up and simply said that, after this weekend, as soon as the plane touched down in New York, the Fanelli as we knew him was dead forever, and he would see us at the office and treat us all as the sources of some of the happiest times of his life, but that the life that had been so happy was now a thing of the past. He actually got misty-eyed. He actually said, “I love you guys,” which everybody had been hoping he’d avoid, but nevertheless, we were all moved nearly to tears, and we embraced Fanelli and then he paid for dinner in cash, leaving a tip that caused the waiters to view Fanelli in a whole new light, and then we went to see Diana Ross in the Colosseum, the Big Room.
It was kind of a homosexual thing to do, and we sat in our red velvet banquette realizing that we looked like a bunch of gay guys from the Midwest come to worship at the feet of the Diva. Many, many cocktails were served and consumed in absolute silence as we stared at this creature, this remarkable thing that was called Diana Ross. And I’m telling you, that woman could sing, I don’t care how mean she was to the other girls or how she let them go on welfare while she stood in front of an adoring audience in a red sequined dress and a coat made out of white feathers.
“I bet she gives great head,” said Frank, and Trotmeier answered, “She must never eat anything, to stay so skinny.”
Fanelli said, “I feel like I’m turning a little bit gay, just watching her.” He had a weird fetish, Fanelli. He carried with him, everywhere he went, a four-inch stuffed bear, a model of one of the characters on Sesame Street, Fozzie Bear. Fozzie had been to Europe, Grand Cayman, around the globe, and Fanelli had photographed him in all these exotic locations, and kept an album of Fozzie’s travels. Fozzie at the Eiffel Tower. Fozzie at the Kremlin. He had photographed every one of his friends with Fozzie, and gave Fozzie a birthday party every year, with a Fozzie cake and everything. He gave a Fozzie to every woman he slept with, after taking a photograph of the girl and the bear.
Bears make money, said Fanelli. Bears also get laid.
Now Fozzie sat with a bottle of Cristal ringside at Caesar’s palace, the bright light from the stage illuminating his green hat, as he watched one of the greatest entertainers ever.
After the show, Fanelli was determined to get a picture of Fozzie and the Diva herself. He somehow wangled his way backstage and, confronted by her enormous security team, told them he was Arne Næss, her Swedish billionaire boyfriend whom she married the next year, and he actually made his way into Diana’s dressing room, and took the picture. She thought the whole thing was charming and couldn’t have been nicer about it. She laughed with delight, showing her millions of gleaming teeth. It was the victory of his and Fozzie’s career.
After the Diana adventure, we went our separate ways, our pockets filled with cash, each one just waiting for the adrenaline to kick in and take over everything, every desire, every dream, every tic of our overwrought nervous systems. Just for the spin of a wheel. Just for the slap of a card on the green felt table. Just for the roll of the dice. Just like Monday morning at the office. Except it was one o’clock in the morning in Vegas. But it was exactly the same.
I lost a thousand playing blackjack, too taken with the dealer, who was really hot in her dealer’s getup, to pay much attention to the cards.
I put a hundred on thirty-two at roulette, just for Fanelli, and lost.
Then I saw this kind of woebegone craps table that looked like it needed a little love. There were only about six people at the table, all clearly losers. I thought, OK, guys, step aside and let the big dog eat.
I stepped up to the table and took a place next to the croupier. I cashed in five hundred. I lost four hundred in two minutes. Then the dice came to me, and everything clicked on. Cowboy up, I thought.
I threw the dice. Six. I started throwing and betting and pushing and I could do no wrong. Every throw was exactly the number I needed. I could envision the numbers before the dice landed.
I was playing the odds. Six came up. I threw for a new number. Seven. I threw again. Five. I kept throwing and the crowd at the table began to grow. The pile of chips in front of me was growing, so I began betting more recklessly.
I turned to tip the croupier. “Just put fifty on the come line for me, kid. That’ll be enough.”
I did it, and from then on, the croupier and I were in it together. I would bet for me, and he would tell me what to do with his chips. This never happens in Vegas, where the croupiers are supposed to be absolutely silent. He started giving me advice on how to improve my odds.
Cocktails began to appear on the table in front of me. I must have told one of the toga-clad girls what I was drinking, but I have no recollection of it. They just started appearing. And more people came, and there was a buzz, a heat that began to swell into an inferno.
There were guys who followed my every move, with stacks of black chips, betting five hundred dollars on me, and I was in tune, in perfect sync with the rhythm of the table. I was always one step ahead of fate.
After twenty minutes, there were probably fifty people at the table. Fanelli stopped by. I didn’t even see him. Frank stepped up and played along. I didn’t know he was there, even though he was gigantic. There was nothing in the world except me and the dice and the long stretch of green baize, sprinkled with numbers and spaces and littered with money.
They changed croupiers, trying to throw me off. They brought more cocktails. A tall, lanky whore in a sparkly dress came and stood next to me, her thigh touching mine as I leaned forward to toss the dice. I just wasn’t interested.
I rolled for forty-five minutes. I went through three croupiers, until the original croupier came back. I was betting for two again, and nothing went wrong for a long, long time.
When I crapped out, after forty-five minutes, the table applauded. There were nine gin and tonics lined up in front of me.
The croupier turned to me. “Here’s what you do now, kid. Let two people roll. If you don’t win, pick up your chips and walk away from the table. You’ve had a good night. Walk away from it.”
Pigs lose everything.
The next roller was a small Asian man. He looked like loss in a size-36 suit. I lost five hundred. The dice moved into the hands of a man who looked like John Carradine in one of his wilder roles—a Mormon preacher gone berserk. He threw once. I lost.
“That’s it for you, kid,” the croupier said, and I gathered up my chips, turned to tip him a hundred.
“Trust me, kid. You’ve done enough for me. Just say good night.” When I left the table, you could see the high rollers gathering up their chips, moving on, knowing that things like this don’t happen very often, hardly ever, and that this table was in for a long, cold spell.
I turned to the dark-haired hooker standing next to me. “Room 1812. Fantasy Tower. Ten minutes.”
I picked up my chips, and stuffed them in every pocket. The Italians say never put anything in the pocket of your suit, it’ll blow the line. I made an exception.
I took three gin and tonics, and went to cash out. I had made $32,000.
In fifteen minutes I was naked on the maroon bed with the hooker who turned out to be named Arrielle. She spelled it for me. Yeah, I thought. And I’m Billy Champagne. I’ve got $32,000 in cash and I can be anybody I want.
I don’t love having sex with hookers. They don’t like to kiss, for one thing. Their breasts are beyond fake. There’s something listless about it, knowing that one of you is bored out of her mind, staring at her reflection in the mirror over our heads and going over her list of errands for the next day. But I gave her oral sex, which I was a whiz at, never a false step, and she seemed to like that. She scratched at my back with her long, black nails.
You can make love to a hooker in less time than it takes to listen to a Top 40 song. When it was done, I gave her two thousand dollars, and she absolutely loved that part. Now she could go home for the rest of the night.
At the door, she turned to me, still lying naked on the bed. She wagged her finger at me and winked, “Some lucky girl . . .” was all she said, and then she was gone.
I took a bath. It took twenty minutes to fill the goddamned thing, but I did it, dragging on cigarettes and drinking gin and tonic.
The water calmed me down. It soothed my heart. You could have done laps in the pool. It was the perfect end to a lovely night.
I lay down on the covers, smoking a last cigarette and finishing the cocktails. I caught sight of myself in the mirror above me, lying damp and naked on the velvet. I was suddenly in love with myself.
There was no trace left of the boy I had been. I was a fully formed man with a perfect body. I could see the thick veins on my biceps, my washboard stomach, my thighs, my crotch, my wet hair cut at an ungodly cost every three weeks by a small British man named Benjamin Moss who came to my loft, and I adored myself, and I was as fine at that moment as I would ever be. My parents, far away, would be shocked and appalled. My mother, if she knew the course of this evening’s events, would come and get me and take me home and make me behave.
The sun was just coming up and the room turned all rosy and romantic, garish as it was. I fell asleep without even getting under the covers, with the last wisp of cigarette smoke hanging in the air and thirty thousand dollars of house money on the bedside table, right next to the pickaxed alarm clock. I love this town, I thought.
I knew that no dawn would ever rise again so beautifully, no matter what happened.
Three hours later, the phone rang. It was Fanelli. “In two minutes, room service will be at your door with Bloody Marys, and I’ll be right with them. Get dressed.”
A few minutes later I was at the door in my Paul Stuart boxers and there was Fanelli and, immediately after, a white-coated room service cutie with three Bloody Marys.
“Wakey wakey eggs and bakey,” shouted Fanelli. “Isn’t this fun? Isn’t this just the most fun you’ve ever had?”
He gave the girl twenty dollars for her trouble, and she left us alone to drink and tell the tales while I dressed. Fozzie had his own Bloody Mary, and Fanelli dutifully photographed it.
Fanelli sat on the edge of the Jacuzzi. “This is the biggest ashtray I have ever seen in my life,” he said, flicking a cigar ash into it.
“What time is it?” I asked.
“Who the hell cares? It’s time to go lie by the pool and get a little color in our pallid cheeks so Anthea won’t think I spent all my time getting blowjobs from black hookers, which actually is what I mostly did, except that I had time to win fifty thou and change at roulette. How’d you do?”
“One white girl named Arrielle, working at being a hooker so she can pay for childcare for the twins. Thirty thousand. Craps.”
“Not bad,” he shouted. “Not bad at all. Now let’s go have a big breakfast and then some sun. And then off to the airport. No more gambling. Know when to walk away, that’s the whole secret. Try it again, they get it all back and we don’t want that to happen now, do we?”
“We do not, Fanelli,” I said. “We do not want that to happen.”
We met Trotmeier and Frank, and sat at breakfast, placing the occasional bet with the strolling Keno girls, and we told the night again and again. Everybody had won money. Fanelli, of course, had won the most. I came in second, then Frank, then Trotmeier who had only won a puny six thousand dollars because he lacked the lightning rod that attracted the bolt from the blue, he always had, which is why he made the least of us at the office, although, by normal standards, he made plenty for somebody who was only twenty-nine years old. But cautious.
I thought of Arrielle, sleeping at home. I thought of Diana Ross, in a grand suite on a high floor. It always amazes me that people have sex, even desultory sex, and then go on with their lives, eating scrambled eggs, telling jokes, as though nothing had happened. It seems such a ravishing experience. Such a miracle. And I kept thinking of the sight of my own body in the circular mirror, a kind of sex all its own. And yet there I was, here were my friends, and last night was already past and gone forever, like a wisp of smoke in the dawn light.
We lay by the pool, in our surfer shorts and our Oakleys. We dozed and drank cocktails and said very little. Then it was noon and time to pack and go.
I threw my few things in a bag and took one last look at Room 1812, to remember every detail. I hadn’t even pulled back the covers on the bed.
Fanelli threw a hundred on number thirty-two as we passed a table. He lost. “You see?” he said. “It heats up. It cools down. Let’s hit the road.”
In the first-class cabin, we settled into our leather seats. The stewardess asked what we wanted to drink. “I don’t know,” said Frank. “Our bodies are wrecked but our minds want to boogie. What do you have for that?”
She brought each of us three Remys.
At the last minute, an airline attendant appeared at Fanelli’s seat. “Are you Mr. Fanelli?” she asked.
“Yes.”
“You left this at the ticket counter,” she said, and handed him his battered briefcase.
“Thank you,” said Fanelli, calm as a cuke, and then opened the briefcase. The fifty thousand was still there in cash. “Thank you very much,” peeling off a hundred and giving it to her.
“You see,” he said. “I love this town.”
The plane took off and headed east. This day, this particular perfection, would last forever. Nothing could touch it, the warmth and humor of my friends, the easy roll of the dice, the stack of cash, the beginning of my life as a man.
It wasn’t true, of course. It didn’t last forever, or very long at all, really. Nothing does. I never saw Vegas again. I never rode in a white El Dorado with the top down. Two months later I was fired. Trotmeier burned out and became the tame manager of a branch bank somewhere. Frank was sitting at his desk on a beautiful September morning two months shy of his fortieth birthday and retirement, just waiting for his settlement package to kick in, just sitting in his office on the eighty-ninth floor, when the first plane hit.
Only Fanelli went on, married to Anthea, fathering one beautiful child after another, hitting on thirty-two in London and Cannes and Monaco.
But at that moment, warmed by cash and Remy in the sun-blasted first-class cabin, I felt invincible. I loved the feeling of the movement of my body inside my clothes. I felt like the Christ child floating in the warm amniotic waters of his mother’s womb.
Yes, that’s it. I felt like the little baby Jesus, just waiting to be born on Christmas Day.