A little while later, Kate found herself swaddled in blankets on the couch in front of a roaring fireplace. Ellen was pressing a cup of tea into her hand as Tony paced the length of the room.
“I don’t understand it,” Ellen said. “What came over him? He was acting like a lunatic.”
“Don’t worry, Katy,” Tony said. “Next time I see that guy, he’ll pay for the way he’s treated you.”
“Guys, please,” Kate pleaded.
They both stared at Kate. It was the first time she had spoken since the incident at the restaurant. They were starting to treat her like a trauma victim suffering from shock. Rick’s anger had certainly taken her by surprise. But more than that, she had been so confused. And angry. And sad. And bitter. There had been too many emotions to count, let alone name. But one thing was clear. Something had happened since the last time she’d seen him and she had to find out what it was. If she was going to be publicly accused, she at least deserved to know what she was being accused of.
“Are you all right, honey?” Ellen asked.
Kate nodded. “I will be,” she said. “I was just taken by surprise, that’s all.”
“Don’t worry, Katy,” Tony said. “You won’t have to see that nut job ever again. I’ll make sure of that.”
Kate shook her head. “Thank you, Tony. But I can handle this.”
He didn’t look convinced but she persisted. “Really,” she said. “This is my fight. I want to handle this.”
He looked to Ellen for backup but she merely shrugged. “She’s right,” she said. “As much as I’d love to see him get socked in the jaw, Kate has to talk to him. For closure, if nothing else.” Tony and Ellen stared at each other for a minute in tense silence before Ellen turned back to their patient. She sat on the arm of the sofa beside her. “Can you think of any reason he would go off on you like that? I mean, I know you two didn’t end on the best note, but I thought he was the one who walked away.”
Kate let out a frustrated sigh. “I have no idea what he was going on about. But I plan on finding out.”
She excused herself, telling her friends she was tired and ready for bed. Really she just needed to be alone. She couldn’t stop replaying the incident in the restaurant, and every time she was horrified anew by the unadulterated rage on his face and the cold fury in his eyes.
She had resigned herself to another night of tossing and turning but at some point in the early morning, exhaustion gave her mind some blessed relief. She awoke the next morning to the sound of the phone ringing on her bedside table.
“Hello?” she mumbled.
“Oh no, I didn’t wake you, did I?”
Kate sat upright in bed. “Sam?”
Sam’s distinct laugh came through the phone crystal clear. “Morning, Katy.”
“What are you—? What time is it?” Kate asked as she fumbled to find her watch.
“It’s early. Too early. I’m so sorry if I woke you. I just — I wanted to make sure you were all right,” her friend said.
“Make sure I’m all right,” Kate repeated. Her sleep-addled brain was struggling to catch up.
“Yes,” she could hear her friend sigh across the Atlantic. “I know how upset Rick is and I just wanted to let you know–”
Kate’s mind snapped to attention at the sound of Rick’s name. How much had he told his sister about what had gone on between them?
“Sam, I can explain,” Kate started.
“There’s no need,” Sam reassured her. “No matter what my brother said, I know that you didn’t publish that picture to hurt me. I tried to tell Rick that but he wouldn’t listen. Anyway, I just wanted you to know that I’m not angry with you and if you want…”
For the second time in twenty-four hours, Kate had the surreal feeling that everyone else around her was suddenly speaking a foreign language and she was struggling to keep up.
“Wait,” Kate cut in. “What are you talking about? What picture? I don’t understand.”
There was a silence on the other end of the line for a moment before Sam’s quiet voice asked, “You mean, you haven’t seen it?”
“Seen what, Sam?” Kate asked. “First Rick went off on me last night and now you’re telling me you’re not angry with me — but for what? I don’t know what either of you are talking about!”
For several moments all Kate could hear was the crackle of their bad connection. Finally, Sam responded. “There was a picture published in the tabloids,” she said. Her voice sounded strained, and Kate felt a dawning horror as she began to guess where this was going.
“It’s a picture of me and you,” Samantha continued. “From that summer when I came to stay with you and your mom.”
Kate gasped loudly and Samantha gave a humorless chuckle. “Exactly,” she said. “You can just imagine the article that went with it.”
Kate closed her eyes in horror. She could imagine all too well. Samantha had suffered from a serious eating disorder when Kate and her mother took her in. As a social worker, Kate’s mother had connections to a nearby facility, Trinity House, that specialized in treating the disease.
“They even managed to get quotes from former staff and patients of the clinic.”
“Oh, Sam. I’m so sorry,” Kate said. “That’s horrible. I can’t believe anyone would exploit a young girl’s pain like that.”
Samantha laughed and this time she actually sounded amused. “Just wait until you have a little more experience with the paparazzi,” she said. “You’ll come to believe they’re capable of just about anything.”
“But — but how?” Kate asked. She was furious on her friend’s behalf. “How did they get their hands on the picture? How did they find out you were ever at Trinity House?”
There was a telltale pause before Samantha answered. “We don’t know.”
Kate’s mouth opened and closed several times as her mind caught up and pieced it all together. “But you can’t think–” she started. “You must know that I would never—”
“Of course I know that,” Samantha reassured her. “There was never a doubt in my mind that you had nothing to do with this.”
Kate exhaled a weary sigh as she thought of Rick’s eyes the night before. “But Rick believes that I did.” she said.
“Rick isn’t exactly known for his trusting nature,” Samantha said. “Please don’t be too angry with him for jumping to conclusions. He’s just trying to protect me.”
“But how could he think that I, your best friend, could do something like that?”
Samantha hesitated. “Listen, Katy. My brother didn’t give me any details on what has gone on between you two but I know you both well enough to read between the lines. You have to understand, Kate, he’s been burned before. Bad.”
“I know, but not by me,” Kate pleaded.
“You don’t have to convince me,” Sam said. Her voice was gentle and Kate’s heart went out to her sweet, shy friend. If there was anyone in the world who deserved her privacy, it was Sam.
“I’m so sorry about all this, Sam,” she said. “Is there anything I can do?”
Sam sighed. “I wish there was but with things like this all you can do is ride it out.”
“And wait until the next scandal comes along?” Kate added.
Samantha laughed. “You’re catching on.”
“Please let me know if there’s anything I can do,” Kate insisted. “Anything at all.”
“Actually,” Sam said. Her voice trailed off.
“Yes?” Kate prodded.
“Now that the initial shock has passed,” she said. “It’s occurred to me that this might be the perfect opportunity to use my experience to help others. Maybe if I came forward and talked about my experience and how I got help – maybe I could help someone else who’s in the same place that I was. What do you think?”
“I think that’s a great idea. I mean, if you feel comfortable talking about it openly.”
“It won’t be easy,” she said. “But I feel like the time is right. Maybe something good can come out of all of this publicity. The thing is, I’ve been giving this a lot of thought over the past few days and Derek and I have talked it over and…”
“And?” Kate prompted.
“We’ve decided to donate money to Trinity House in your mother’s name. If you’re okay with it, that is.”
“If I’m okay with it?” Kate asked. “I think it’s a marvelous idea. I know my mother would be touched.”
“Katy, I know this is none of my business but–”
“It’s okay, Sam. Say whatever it is you want to say.”
“I love my brother but I know better than anyone how pigheaded he can be. And I realize that his inability to trust is incredibly frustrating but…”
Kate rolled her eyes at the monumental understatement.
“But you have to know,” Sam continued. “That he’s worth fighting for. I mean, if he’s what you want.”
If he’s what you want. The words repeated themselves in Kate’s headlong after she hung up with Sam.
Kate had just finished her breakfast when the back door opened and a sheepish Ellen walked in. Kate had assumed that she was upstairs in the room she had been sleeping in. Kate glanced at her watch. “Where were you off to so early in the morning?” Ellen bit her lip and her cheeks flushed deep pink. Kate laughed. “Don’t tell me…”
Ellen nodded.
“So I take it your talk with Tony went well last night?”
Ellen’s face lit up. “Oh, Kate, I’ve been so stupid. And he’s been stupid. Oh, we’ve both been idiots!”
“But now it’s all been straightened out between you two?”
Ellen sank into her chair and her dreamy grin said it all.
“Well, I’m glad,” Kate said. “You two deserve to be happy. I couldn’t imagine a better couple than my two closest friends.”
“And what about you?” Ellen asked. “Feeling any better this morning?”
Kate recounted her phone conversation with Sam and by the time she finished talking, Ellen’s mouth was hanging open in shock. “Poor Sam,” she said. “But that means that Rick—” Her expression went from shock and sympathy to furious rage in a heartbeat. “How could he possibly think that you would do something like that? Even if Samantha wasn’t one of your oldest friends, you would never intentionally hurt someone like that. How could he think that of you?”
Kate shook her head. “I guess the article makes a big deal out of the B&B. Sam said he thought I published the picture to get free publicity.”
“Yeah but why would he think that you would use someone, friend or not, for publicity?” Ellen leaped out of her chair and paced the kitchen like a caged lion.
Ellen’s rampage went on but Kate no longer heard her. Gone was the shock of the night before and the sympathetic horror she’d felt on the phone with her friend. Now all she could feel was anger. Fiery, self-righteous anger. How dare he treat her like that? Who did he think he was? How could he even begin to think that she could be so cruel and calculating? He had nothing to base those assumptions on, she decided. And that speech! That horrible tirade he’d practically shouted at her in front of a crowded room? Who did he think he was? In a full-blown state of fury, Kate leapt to her feet and grabbed her car keys from the counter.
“Where are you going?” Ellen called after her.
“To get an apology,” Kate fumed.
****
Her anger hadn’t receded by the time Kate arrived at his hotel. On the contrary, she had spent the entire drive holding imaginary conversations with Rick so that by the time she reached the hotel where he was staying, her anger had reached the boiling point. She stormed past the front desk to the elevators and jabbed the button for the top floor. The local newspapers had mentioned in every article that Rick and his crew had rented out the top two floors for the duration of the shoot.
When the doors slid open and Kate exited the elevator, she came to a stop. She had no idea which room was his. A gangly young man carrying equipment that looked like it weighed more than he did was walking toward her.
“Excuse me,” she said. “Can you tell me where I could find Rick Salinger?”
He pointed towards the door at the end of the hall. “His room is down there,” he said. She set off in that direction, paying no heed to his warnings that he shouted after her. “He’s in a meeting! Miss! You have to make an appointment!”
She pounded her fist and as she waited for it to open she willed herself not to lose her anger. It was the only thing keeping her going at this point and she needed it to face Rick.
She steeled herself for confrontation when she heard the doorknob rattle. But it wasn’t Rick who answered the door.
“Kate,” Barry said. His face was almost comical in its surprise. “What are you doing here?”
“I’m here to see Rick,” Kate said. She tried to push her way past him but Barry wouldn’t budge. “Now is really not a good time,” he explained. “He’s very busy getting ready for filming to begin. I’m sorry but you will have to make an appointment with his assistant.”
“Make an appointment!” Kate bellowed. “You have got to be kidding me.”
Barry tried to take her by the arm but she wrenched herself out of his grip. “Kate, please,” he said. “Now is really not a good time.” He lowered his voice so only Kate could hear him. “Give him some time to cool down a bit. It’s no use trying to explain yourself to him while he’s like this.”
“Explain myself,” Kate repeated with a harsh laugh. She leaned in closer so she was sure that Rick could hear her no matter where he was in the apartment. “I am not leaving here without seeing Rick!”
“Kate, please,” Barry hissed.
“It’s all right, Barry,” Rick said. He appeared behind Barry suddenly and Kate knew he had been nearby the entire time. “Let her in.”
Barry stepped aside and quickly excused himself. Kate couldn’t blame him for wanting to escape; the tension and anger in the room was palpable. When the door shut behind him, a heavy silence descended over the room. The calm before the storm, Kate thought, as she met Rick’s cold, dark eyes.
“What are you doing here, Kate?” he asked.
“We need to talk.” She refused to look away from his piercing stare even though the look on his face terrified her. She summoned her anger to keep her strong.
“You wasted your time in coming here,” he said. “We have nothing further to say.”
“Maybe you don’t,” Kate said. “But you didn’t give me a chance to speak last night when you bawled me out in front of a room full of strangers, and I think, at the very least, I deserve a chance to address your accusations.”
“Address my accusations?” Rick scoffed. “You mean you think you can justify what you’ve done?” The cold steel in his eyes melted into a fiery heat as he stared at her as though she were some inhuman monster.
He strode toward her so quickly she nearly leapt back, but he reached past her and picked up a magazine that had been strewn on his desk. He held it up to her accusingly. “You think you can justify this?” He jabbed a finger at a faded picture that covered the front page.
Kate gasped and grabbed the magazine from his hand. Taking up most of the front cover was a picture of two teenage girls with their arms linked and huge grins on their faces. Kate was on the left. She remembered that summer like it was yesterday rather than nearly fifteen years ago. She was tan and lean from a summer of swimming at the lake and she was grinning at the camera like she didn’t have a care in the world. But the center of the picture was the young girl standing next to her. It was impossible to miss the gaunt face and pale, anemic skin. But what cried out the most was the bony frame. Kate’s heart tightened at the sight of her friend. She had gone through so much that year and it had culminated in her developing a serious eating disorder. This picture had been taken early on in her stay when she was nothing but skin and bones.
Kate wished she could escape the bold, glaring letters that framed the photo but she couldn’t tear her eyes away. “Samantha Salinger’s Struggle to Be Thin.” There was an article that accompanied it but Kate couldn’t bring herself to read it. She thrust the offensive magazine away from her as though it were poison.
“What?” Rick taunted. “Not going to read the article? You should, you know; it has wonderful things to say about you and your precious B&B.”
Kate’s eyes widened.
“Oh, yes,” he said. “It even mentions how your mother took over when my family and I refused to step in and get her the help she needed.”
“No,” Kate said. She struggled to catch her breath. She felt like she had been running for miles.
“Oh, yes,” Rick drawled.
“How did they get this?”
“Oh, come off it,” Rick said. “There’s only one person who would have this picture and know all the details of Sam’s stay in Rockville. And there’s only one person who would benefit from this story.”
“Benefit?” Kate repeated. Her voice rose as she stared at Rick in horror. Did he really think that she was capable of something like this?
“Do you really think that I did this for publicity?” She gestured toward the magazine. “You really believe that I would sell out my best friend to see my name in the papers?”
His stony glare said it all.
She waved her hands in exasperation, trying to put words to her frustration. “But why?” she asked.
“Who else would have that picture,” Rick said. “Even Sam, your loyal friend, who couldn’t even bring herself to believe that you were capable of something like this — even she had to admit that you were the only one who could have that picture.”
“There has to be some other explanation,” Kate said.
Rick’s steely face broke into a mocking grin. “Still won’t admit to it, will you?”
“No,” Kate shouted. “Because I didn’t do it. I would never do anything like this and anyone who knew me would know that.”
“Right,” Rick drawled. “Just like you would never lie about having a boyfriend for your own gain?”
“What are you talking about?” Kate asked, her face reddening. “I’ve already explained why I lied about Tony. And you cannot even begin to compare that little white lie to this.” She shook the magazine in front of his face.
“I wasn’t referring to your lie about Tony,” Rick said. “Although that doesn’t exactly speak volumes about your honest character, now does it?”
Kate looked away from his accusing glare. “Fine. Then what are you talking about?”
“I was referring to me.”
Kate inhaled sharply. “You — you asked me to pretend.” she said.
“Yes,” he agreed, his voice menacingly quiet. “I asked you to pretend to be my lover. I got what I wanted out of the deal,” his eyes raked over her body and Kate shivered in humiliation and disgust. “And you got what you wanted,” he continued. “You made no secret that you were playing along for one reason and one reason only. Because my name attached to yours would get you and your new business the publicity and attention that you needed.”
Kate’s mouth opened and closed but no sounds came out. Is that what he had thought?
“What happened, Kate?” he challenged. “Wasn’t there enough tabloid exposure for your liking? Playing the part of my lover didn’t rake in as many clients as you had hoped? Or was it some sort of revenge because I walked out on you? Was that it, Kate? Did you feel slighted out of your end of the bargain?”
His words were like a slap across her face. She was too stunned to speak and he seemed to take her silence as an assent. He nodded as though his suspicions had just been confirmed. “Get out of here,” he rasped. “And never let me see you anywhere near me or my sister ever again.”
He turned his back and walked away. She had been dismissed. Her mind was reeling from all of the insulting accusations he thrown at her, but she forced herself to remain calm and say what she had come here to say. She knew it wouldn’t make a difference to him – he was already convinced of her guilt. But she had to tell him the truth for herself. She realized that this would be the last time she would see Rick Salinger, and she needed to tell him the truth so it would no longer haunt her.
“I love you,” she said.
The words pierced the air like a bolt of electricity. Rick froze. His back was still to her so she couldn’t see the look in his eyes or on his face and for that she knew she should be grateful.
“I love you,” she said again, this time to hear herself say the words.
“Or at least I thought I did,” she continued. “But now I see that it was just infatuation because there is no way I could love someone who could think these things of me.” Her voice grew stronger as she spoke. “I am only going to say this once so listen closely. I had nothing to do with that picture being published or the story that went with it.”
She took a deep breath. “That’s all I came here to say.”
She turned to leave but spun around quickly. “That’s not quite true. I actually came here to get an apology from you. I was so angry that you could even think those things about me and humiliate me like that…” Her voice trailed off. “But I don’t care about your apology anymore. I see that I was wrong about you, about the kind of person you are. So I will do my best to make sure you never have to see me again but I cannot — I will not — say the same for your sister. Sam is one of my closest friends in the world, and there’s no way I will give up my friendship with her because you are too close-minded to see the truth.”
With that she turned on her heel and walked out of the hotel room, out of the hotel, and out of Rick Salinger’s life.