I woke up at five a.m. the morning Ezra was to come, my stomach in incredible knots. I’d laid out my clothes. I hadn’t put much thought into them other than I just wanted to be comfortable for the first of many long days driving across the United States.
I still could not believe I was moving to Seattle. The average summer temperature in the Keys was a balmy ninety degrees. In the winter? Our lowest low last year, the temperature everyone broke jackets out for? Sixty-five degrees Fahrenheit. Seattle’s average winter temperature is thirty-six degrees, and their winters start early from what I’d read online.
I grabbed my phone and searched Seattle’s current temperature.
“Sixty-one degrees,” I whispered. The hand holding my phone dropped to my side.
I’d packed jeans and T-shirts in my bag because they were the warmest I could find in my wardrobe full of cutoff shorts and tanks. I didn’t even own a long-sleeved shirt, let alone a coat. I had a pretty sweater jacket, but that was mostly for looks, not functionality.
“What am I doing?” I asked no one. “How am I going to survive up there? I don’t even have the clothes I need, not to mention I’ll be all alone.” I sat down at the edge of my bed, dejected, my outlook feeling bleak.
My phone dinged, alerting me to a text. I brought the screen up to my face.
get your ass up and stop feeling sorry for yourself whatever problem you’ve invented is bull and you will overcome it
A few seconds pause then…
You are woman! Hear you roar!
I laughed at Frankie’s texts, tears streaming down my face at how grateful I was to her, and amazed at how well she knew me.
thanks Helen Reddy
welcome now shut up i actually need some sleep
I tossed my phone aside and stood up a renewed person. Frank was right. Anything life threw at me, I could bat it out of the freaking ballpark. I hopped in the shower, shaved my legs, and put my underwear and bra on while I dried my hair. I flipped my head over to dry the bottom half, but when I flipped back up, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I studied myself. Shoulders too narrow, hips too wide, boobs too small, hair too curly, eyes too big. I was too everything, and wondered why I couldn’t have been a little more proportional, more like Frankie.
I took another good, long look at myself. “Who the hell cares!” I said to no one and smiling just because I freaking could.
I slipped on a pair of light jean cutoffs, folded the hems up once, and threw on my burgundy halter crop top, strapped my mom’s vintage seventies lace-up boots that came to mid-calf, and walked purposefully to my vanity and sat down with equal gumption. “I can do this, damn it!”
I took my time doing my makeup because Ezra Brandon was going to be picking me up in a short half hour and I wanted to feel powerful. Makeup was a release for me. It allowed me to feel like I could paint myself up to be anyone I wanted to be: sharp, witty, fun, outgoing… anything I wanted to be. Let me correct myself—makeup gave me the freedom to be the things I already felt, and that morning I wanted to be the lead in my own story, and my face was going to reflect the same.
When I was done, I grabbed my most precious belonging, my e-reader, and tucked it into my hobo bag. My e-reader was contraband in my parents’ house. I had to charge it at Frankie’s every few days. It’s not that my mom and dad were opposed to reading, but they felt books should be enjoyed in a tangible way. I wasn’t knocking it. In fact, I had a reverent respect for books in print. They are things to be cherished. But! Here’s my caveat: paperbacks and hardbacks are expensive and at the rate that I devoured them, my habit couldn’t be supported on the income they got from our organic home farm.
Whenever I had a birthday or if Christmas was coming up or something, I always requested gift cards from friends and family. They supported my addiction. Just one more book, dude. I promise I’m good for the money. Just spot me this one time, man. At least three times a week I would hear someone coming near my room and I’d have to shove the thing under my covers. #Lame
When I was done getting ready, I sat back in my vanity chair and really took in my room, really memorized it. I closed my eyes and breathed deeply. My eyes began to sting with sadness so I stood quickly and shook my head to free myself of the fear, of the nerves, of the sadness.
“Ready for your adventure?” Mom asked from my doorway.
I faced her. “Yes. No. Both.”
Mom walked through the room, scaling the mess on the floor, the ever-present clutter that was Jupiter Corey’s life.
“You don’t plan on tidying up before you leave?” she asked.
I tossed my makeup bag into my weathered leather suitcase and closed the lid. “Where would the sense in that be?” I asked. “When I return for summer everything will be exactly where I remembered it to be.”
“So you won’t be coming home for Thanksgiving then?” she asked, defeated, and slumped on the bed next to my suitcase.
“I will if I can catch a ride, Mama.”
She nodded her head. “Try for me?”
“I’ll try my hardest.”
“Be careful while you’re up there?” she asked.
“Of course.”
“I’ve heard it can get cool there,” she remarked.
“Yeah, it can get cold,” I said, smiling at her.
“What will you do for a winter coat, Jupiter?”
“I’ll figure it out, Mama. Don’t worry about me.”
Mom stood up. “Give me a second. I remembered something.”
I waited patiently for her. Knowing my mother, whatever she remembered could mean absolutely anything.
I eventually heard her climbing the winding staircase and she emerged from the hall shortly after. In her hands was a light tan suede coat that would fall to the knees when on, and it was lined with thick, furry wool. My eyes bugged wide.
“Where did that come from?” I asked her.
“I don’t throw anything away. You know that.”
“Yeah, but was it yours?”
“Yeah, back in ’76 we had an unexpected cold front and your grandfather bought it for me.”
“This is really beautiful, Mama.”
“Thank you,” she said quietly. Her eyes met mine. “Would you like to use it?”
I stared on her. “I would love to use it.”
“Then you should take it,” she said, reaching for my case.
I reached over and unzipped my bag. She carefully folded it and laid it on top of my belongings. We both shut the lid, carefully zipping it, though it was bursting at the seams.
“Why such a small case?” she asked.
“Because Ezra’s bringing his cousin along to share with the driving and I didn’t want to be a burden.”
“I see,” she said, then began to weep in her hands. The guilt speared my guts.
“Oh, please don’t cry, Mama,” I begged her. I wrapped my arms around her and hugged her as tightly as I could without hurting her.
“It’s okay, Jupiter,” she said, patting my hands. “I just wish you would see the foolishness in this idea. I just wish you would see reason.”
I let go of her. “I don’t expect you to like the idea of me going to school,” I said softly, “and across the country at that, but I do wish you wouldn’t worry about me. I promise I’m not doing anything that will ruin my life. I promise.”
She nodded her head. “I’ll accept your leaving, but please don’t expect me not to worry for you. I’m your mama, Jupiter, I will always worry. Even when I’m dead I will worry for you. You are mine to worry for.”
“Worry then,” I said, and she smiled at me.
An audible “We come in peace” sang throughout the house. I rolled my eyes. The doorbell. My heart leapt into my throat.
“That must be your ride.”
I swallowed. “Must be,” I said, my throat going dryer than I’d ever felt it.
When I came down the winding staircase, my dad was waiting for me at the door.
“Jupiter,” he said solemnly.
“Daddy,” I said, dropping my case and hugging him around the waist. He hesitated a moment before wrapping his arms around me tightly.
“Be a good girl, Jupiter,” he spoke into my hair.
I let go of him and looked into his eyes. “I will, Dad. I’ll make you proud.”
“I have no doubt of that, but also, please don’t hesitate to come home to us?”
“I won’t,” I answered.
I took three steps across our minuscule kitchen and opened the door. The doorway was filled with Ezra Brandon’s shoulders, chest, and height. I swung the door wider and indicated he could come in. He had to duck under the half-moon frame to get inside. I’d never realized how big Ezra Brandon really was until he stood his full height underneath the roof of my tiny house.
I swallowed. “Hi, Ezra,” I said as calmly as possible.
“Hey, Jupiter.” He looked at my mom and sister before settling on my father. He reached his hand out. “Mister Corey? I’m Ezra Brandon.”
My dad took his hand and shook it. “Nice to meet you,” he said.
He shook my mom’s and Mercury’s hands as well, introducing himself and learning their names. Mercury’s eyes shot wide when he took her hand, then turned dreamy. I rolled my own eyes and hid my smirk. This guy was kryptonite to the Corey girls, it seemed.
The room turned quiet.
“Well,” I said, drawing it out in the silence. “I guess we should go?” I asked him.
I bent to grab my suitcase but Ezra surprised me by grabbing it first. “I got it,” he said softly.
“Thanks,” I whispered and opened the door for him.
My family followed us down the deck stairs but stopped at the base of them, watching us.
“Live long and prosper!” my dad joked. My face warmed to an impossible heat. My palm met my forehead.
I followed Ezra to his dead sexy GTO, the engine rumbling. An equally imposing guy with black hair sat in the passenger seat and when he saw us, he opened the door and unfolded himself from the car.
“That’s your cousin?” I asked.
Ezra narrowed his eyes at me, looking for something, gauging me for some reason. “Yeah, that’s Kai.”
“Hey,” his cousin’s deep voice greeted. “I’m Kai,” he said with a sweet smile and open eyes. He reached his hand out to me and I took it.
“Nice to meet you,” I told him. “I’m Jupiter.”
Kai looked up at my UFO home then back at me. “It fits,” he teased, making me laugh.
Ezra’s eyes narrowed once more at us before making his way to the trunk of his car. Kai waved at my family before opening the door and pushed the backseat forward. I started to get in, but he stopped me with a warm hand on my shoulder.
“What are you doing?” he asked me.
“Getting in?”
“Uh, no, Ezra would kick my ass if I let a girl sit in the back.”
“Oh, okay. Well, thanks,” I said, but stopped. “Maybe we can take turns?” I asked
“Sounds like a plan,” he said, a charming smile spread across beautiful teeth.
Kai jumped in the back and pulled the seat back so I could climb in. I sat down, but before I could shut the door, Kai reached over me and yanked it closed.
“Thanks,” I said, smiling at him.
“Don’t mention it.”
Ezra slammed the trunk closed, walked to the driver’s side, and opened the door. “Surprised you didn’t sit up front, Kai,” he said, sitting down and putting the car in drive.
Kai laughed and leaned against the backseat, sprawling muscular arms out on top of the bench. He looked strikingly similar to Ezra, just darker features. Black hair, hazel eyes.
“You and my mom would kill me if I had.”
“True,” Ezra said, his face stoic.
I pressed my hands against the glass of the passenger-side window and stared after my sad-looking family, fighting back my own tears. Mercury blew a kiss my way and I caught it, pocketing it for later. I love you, I mouthed, and they waved before heading back inside.
I laid flat against my seat, trying to compose myself. A single tear left my eye, but I wiped it away discreetly. I looked on Ezra then but if he’d noticed, his face didn’t betray he had. I took a deep breath and let the moment pass. We drove over Overseas and I felt it, that feeling of excitement, of joy, of fear, and anxiety. It was such a heady, strange feeling, but I cherished it all the same. I was in charge of my own skin and mind. I was deciding my own fate. And I liked it.
I lifted my left leg onto the sticky black leather of my flat bucket seat and leaned my side into its back, resting my chin on a fist. “So Chicago?” I asked Kai.
“Yup, born and raised there.”
I looked between him and Ezra. “So whose parent is the sibling of whose parent?”
Ezra glanced at me, his eyes lingering a little longer than necessary, sending a silent thrill through my gut. “My dad and his dad,” he explained.
I kept my eyes on Ezra’s until he broke away toward the road. “That’s pretty nice that you’d come down here to help Ezra with the drive,” I observed.
“I know, I’m a saint,” he said, a devilish smirk on his face. I laughed, convinced of the opposite. I was ready to tell him as much, but Ezra turned toward me briefly, studying me before looking in his rearview mirror, catching Kai’s attention. Kai coughed into his hand to avoid laughing then leaned forward. “So what’s it like living in a UFO?” he asked, changing the subject.
“I couldn’t even tell you if it was strange or not, because I’ve never known any differently.”
“Is it small on the inside?”
“Kind of,” I admitted, a little embarrassed. “It’s basically a simple two-story house except all the walls are oblong.”
“That’s kind of cool, actually,” Kai said with a genuine smile, bolstering me.
“Thanks,” I said, smiling back.
My phone beeped. I turned in my seat again, gathered my hobo bag at my feet, and fished it out. It was a text from Frankie.
how goes it? she asked.
it goes
come on gimme something to work with
no way jose, I texted.
have you kissed him yet
Jesus, Mary, & Joseph, Frankie! No!
did he carry your bag to your car for you
of course dinkus
that settles it then, she said.
what in the world does that settle, I asked.
She didn’t respond, which made me nervous, because it was Frankie and she was crazy. I locked the phone and let it fall in my lap. I waited but no answer came so I tucked the phone back into my purse.
“Who was that?” Kai asked right next to my ear, startling me.
“Oh, my best friend.”
“Is she hot?” he asked.
I smiled. “Totally.”
“That’s rad. What’s her name?”
I studied Kai. “What does it matter? She lives so far away from you.”
“Kai is a girl aficionado,” Ezra chimed in, surprising me. I was still stunned every time I heard him speak.
Ezra and I shared a look and I smiled timidly, but instead of smiling back, he whipped his gaze back toward the road, confusing me.
I turned toward Kai. “Is that so?”
“I-lok-em-alawt,” he said, his eyes glued to the ceiling.
“You’re a dork,” I teased.
He was ready with an infectious laugh again. “I know.”
“So, tell me, what’s up with your cousin over here?” I asked point-blank. Ezra’s whole body tensed. I didn’t think there was any sense beating around the bush. We were going to be driving for days on end together and I wasn’t about to tiptoe around him just because he was so obviously tortured.
Kai’s eyes blew wide. “You don’t pull any punches, huh?”
Ezra white knuckled the steering wheel, and I bit my lip wondering if I’d made a bad move.
“Ezra got his heart broken right along with his legs in the accident.”
“Kai!” Ezra shouted, swinging his head toward him. He looked incensed.
“Hey, hey,” I soothed. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean anything by it, really. I was just curious. Please, let’s change the subject,” I offered, angry at myself.
Kai fell into his seat and the car got really quiet, thanks to my big, fat mouth. After twenty minutes, I tested the waters again.
“How old are you, Kai?” I asked softly, turning around in my seat again.
“Nineteen,” he answered.
“Go to school?”
“I’ll be starting my sophomore year at the University of Chicago.”
“That’s cool.” I paused. I threw my head toward Ezra. “Did he tell you how I roped him into giving me a ride?”
Kai fell back into his seat again, his arms spread across the top of the bench. I was discovering that was his favorite way to sit.
“Nuh-uh. Enlighten me, why don’t ya?”
“I’m a klutz,” I began, making him laugh. “Anyway, I was late for my class because I’d been dawdling, daydreaming, really,” I said. Ezra swallowed. “I started to run and collided with Ezra.”
“Really?” Kai asked, glancing at his cousin.
“It was epic,” I told him. “Papers strewn everywhere, people screaming, children crying, paramedics puking in the corner.”
Kai laughed. I bit my bottom lip, glanced Ezra’s way, and noticed a small smirk. I internally sighed in relief that he didn’t appear to be mad at me.
“And?” Kai asked, eyeing me with genuine interest, like he’d only just really seen me.
“Well, Ezra bent to help me scoop up all our papers, but his acceptance letter got mixed in with my lot.”
I bit my lip again, mentally chiding myself to stop the annoying habit I’d picked up every time I looked at Ezra Brandon.
“But how did that land you in that seat?” Kai asked, pointing.
“Well, I was going through my papers, trying to organize them, when I noticed the letter. I was confused. I’d left mine at home and didn’t know how it’d gotten into my satchel in the first place.” I looked at Ezra once more. “That’s when I figured out it was actually Ezra’s letter, not mine, and came up with the devious plan to trick him into taking me with him,” I joshed.
“Huh,” Kai said, confusing me.
“What?” I asked.
“Small world is all,” Kai practically whispered, eyeing his cousin with scrutiny. Ezra watched me and I smiled nervously at him. “You know who you kinda look like?” Kai asked.
“Penny Lane?” I asked, not realizing how stupid that was until the muscles in Ezra’s shoulders constricted. He sat up, his back ramrod straight, and my cheeks heated to an impossible warmth.
“That’s right,” Kai said, sounding astonished. He looked at his cousin again but smiled this time.
Ezra narrowed his eyes at Kai through the rearview. The leather on the steering wheel whined from the pressure of his grip.
“Oh, well, Ezra mentioned it once to me,” I told him, trying to prevent whatever it was that was going on. The tension in the car was almost palpable.
“Is that so?” Kai asked.
“Mmmhmm,” I answered.
“Why isn’t your seatbelt on?” Ezra asked. I was stunned at his almost desperate tone.
“Huh?” I asked.
“Your seatbelt, Jupiter.”
I glanced down at myself. “Sorry, I didn’t even realize. Guess I was distracted.”
Ezra threw a small glance at his cousin. “Please put it on?” he asked me politely, but there was a warning undertone there, whether it was for me or his cousin, I didn’t know.
I slid the belt across my body with a click, the sound deafening throughout the car.
“Should we play a game?” Kai asked.
“No,” Ezra said.
“Yes,” I said at the same time.
I laughed a little. “Come on, Ezra,” I prodded.
He glanced at me. “Fine then. What game?”
I turned toward Kai. “What game?”
“Dance or Die!” he said.
“No, I’m not doing that,” Ezra said.
Kai laughed. “He’s a spoilsport.”
“What’s Dance or Die?” I asked.
“Okay, it’s when the driver yells ‘Dance or Die!’ and yanks his hands from the steering wheel. He can’t put them back until everyone in the car is dancing in their seats.”
My eyes bugged. “Kai, you so crazy!”
He laughed. “Come on! You too?”
“Yeah, me too! I will never play that, Kai,” I said, laughing a little.
“You’re no fun, guys. Sometimes it’s fun to drink the Kool-Aid every now and again. You know, taste the forbidden fruit.” He wagged his brows at Ezra and Ezra threw an arm into the backseat, hoping to connect with his cousin, but he barely missed him when Kai slid out of the way, laughing.
“You two,” I said. “I can tell this is going to be one wild ride.”
Kai winked at me. “To borrow your word from earlier, it’s going to be epic.”