Tomorrow is the last day of school, and I CAN’T WAIT FOR IT TO BE OVER!! This has been the worst year EVER! The bad part is that I don’t see how next year is going to be any better at all. Fifth grade was horrible—I’m afraid sixth grade will be EVEN WORSE. Why was it so bad? Where do I begin?
Top five reasons why fifth grade was HORRIBLE:
1. It’s school! I’m sitting at a desk ALL DAY.
2. I learned that I’m dumb! That’s right. All the other grades I thought I was “smart.” But this year was a FAILURE! I still don’t know my times tables! How the heck am I going to make it through next year?
3. School lunches. They call it “pizza.” I have no idea why. Since when does a piece of white bread count as pizza crust???????
4. Gym class. Most people like gym. But at my school we have “tests” and I completely stink. Especially at PULL-UPS. Guess how many pull-ups I can do? ZERO! I can do ZERO pull-ups! I’m a disgrace to ten-year-olds—and the whole class knows it. Even the girls. Especially the girls that can do more pull-ups than me!!
5. Field trips. Just like gym class, most kids like field trips. Well, we go to one place for field trips: Mount Tom. We go there in the fall before it gets too cold and in the spring when it starts to get warm. But here’s the thing: Mount Tom isn’t a mountain. It’s a lake. Here’s the problem: I CAN’T SWIM! I hid it pretty well during our fall trip. But this spring, kids noticed. “Why don’t you come out in the water?” “Why are you staying on the beach?” “Why don’t you jump off the diving board?” What kind of person can’t even swim? ME: That’s what kind of person! AAAHHH!
6. I know I said top five reasons, but there is one more, and it’s probably the biggest reason: Kenny Williamson. He is big and he is MEAN. He rules the jungle gym. He even calls himself “King of the Jungle Gym” or “King Kenny”!! If any other kids want to play on the jungle gym, they either have to be friends with Kenny or follow his “rules.”
All the teachers talk about how my school is “bully-free.” We even had a No Bully Day, where we talked about bullying and how bad it was and how we should tell the teachers if we saw it happening. Well, let me tell you, Kenny is definitely a BULLY, and he definitely is in my school. And no one says anything to the teachers about it!
Those are the top reasons that fifth grade was horrible, and sixth grade isn’t going to be much better! I can’t wait for school to be over tomorrow so the suffering can STOP and summer can START!
This summer is going to be AWESOME. Yes, it is cool that I won’t have to be in school—but something even cooler is happening. My uncle Jake is coming to stay with us for the whole summer!
He has been a Navy SEAL for eight years and is getting out of the Navy to go to college. Before he goes to college, he is going to stay with us the whole summer long. A Navy SEAL! FOR REAL. IN MY HOUSE!!!!!
Uncle Jake is the best. First, he is super cool because he is a Navy SEAL. He fought in real wars. My mom says he was “on the front lines.” That means he was face-to-face with the bad guys. Whoa! Uncle Jake is also awesome because he is the COMPLETE OPPOSITE OF ME. I am weak—he is strong. I am dumb—he is smart. I can’t swim—he can swim with a backpack on! I’m scared of bullies—bullies are scared of him!
Anyway, I haven’t spent too much time with Uncle Jake because we live in California, and he has been stationed in Virginia for a long time. I hope he doesn’t think I’m such a DUMB WIMP that he won’t even hang around with me! Maybe he won’t notice?
AAHHHHH!!! Of course he will. He is a tough guy! I’m a dork! Well, I guess I will find out soon.
