Present Day
Catalina gasped when the first swat landed. Damn it, this was the second time in as many days she’d been spanked, and this time, Cooper wasn’t playing. She wasn’t sure why he was being such a hardass about her language, but she had noticed most of the Doms she knew shared his aversion.
“You need to stay in the moment, Princess. I’m going to turn your beautiful bottom a lovely shade of crimson. The heat coming from your skin will only be eclipsed by the fire in your core.” Three more swats in rapid success sent fire racing over her skin, and for the first time, Cat wondered if she would be able to tolerate sixteen more. By the time she’d made it halfway through the punishment, Cat’s entire body was heating as her mind turned off. There was nothing but an odd sense of distance between her and what was happening to her, and the disconnection was making it feel as if she was floating outside her body.
“It’s subspace, Princess, the sweet space where your brain is so flooded with endorphins, the line between pain and pleasure no longer exists. It’s a special part of your mind where you can let your mind float without worry or fear because it’s a place you don’t ordinarily care to go.” Catalina had heard of subspace but wasn’t sure she would have made the connection until later… probably a lot later. When she opened her mouth to speak, the only sound she was able to make was so garbled, she knew he couldn’t have possibly understood how confusing it was to teeter between pleasure and pain. His words had to mean something, but for the life of her, she couldn’t piece together where they should lead her.
Catalina remembered hearing subs talking about subspace in the club’s opulent locker room but hadn’t thought she would ever be able to let go enough to experience it herself. The nature of her contract work meant there weren’t many people she trusted implicitly and even fewer situations where she felt safe enough to let go.
“Your trust is the most valuable gift anyone has ever given me, Catalina. I’m looking forward to exploring your sexual needs. I’ll help you open parts of yourself you have kept hidden from the rest of the world. There won’t be a single part of yourself you won’t feel safe sharing with me.” Shifting on his lap, Cat wondered when Cooper had turned her over. How could she have been so lost in the moment, she’d failed to note a shift in position? “Have you forgotten we are mated, Princess? According to everything I’ve learned, genetics now dictate a deeper level of trust.” Blinking at him, Cat wondered when he’d lost his fucking mind—she couldn’t tell him… wait, what was it she couldn’t share? “I suggest you do not give voice to those thoughts, Catalina. I’m not sure your tender backside can take any more swats just now.”
No, Sherlock, I don’t think my ass will ever be able to take any more. Hell, I doubt I’ll be able to sit down for several days. Fucking hell, how am I going to work?
She knew how to block her thoughts since she’d been doing it most of her life. Hell, blocking was a survival skill when you had a younger brother who could read everyone’s thoughts. The problem was remembering to put up those shields.
Goddess help her, first Israel, then Luke Grayson, her brother-in-law… and now Cooper. Damn it all to dusty doorknobs, Cam could read body language like it was his first language and her brother, Austin, was almost as perceptive. Now Cooper was stomping around in her thoughts, taking notes like a fricking court stenographer. Pretty soon, she wouldn’t be able to hide anything, and everyone would know the other names… wait, what names? Her head started to ache, so she pushed it all aside.
“Floating around in subspace was nice… actually, it was fu… dging spectacular, but it remains to be seen if it was worth the long-term price.”
“Good save, and I’ll be interested in hearing what you decide.” Setting her on her feet, Cooper kept his hands wrapped around her hips until he was sure she was steady. Once he was on his feet, he surprised her by wrapping an arm around her shoulders and walking her into the small room she knew he’d been using as an office. “I want you to take a quick look at the architect’s blueprints. The designer also sent a slideshow for us to review. If there are any changes you want to make, now is the time.”
Was he serious? He wanted her to review his remodeling plans… naked? He’d just paddled her into a stupor, and she was supposed to know what color throw pillows would look good on a damned sofa? The man might be her mate, but it seemed the DNA shift shaved off several critical IQ points. At this rate, Cooper would need to become a bit more officially retired than he was now. No one took Cam Barnes’s retirement seriously, and she doubted Cooper’s would get any more consideration.
Stepping into the office, Catalina was surprised to see a man’s shirt draped over the back of the single office chair. Wrapping it around her shoulders, Cooper shook his head when she started to push a button through the hole. Pushing her hands aside, he buttoned a single small white disc in the center before pulling her onto his lap, chuckling when she hissed in pain. They spent the next hour looking at plans for a remodeling project she worried would take a decade to complete. When she expressed concern for the timeline rather than the scope of the project, he nodded.
“I agree, it’s a damned ambitious plan, but I think you’re going to be surprised how quickly it’s wrapped up.” She started to argue but thought better of it, deciding to hear him out. “We’re fortunate to have a safe place to stay until we finish the investigation of your kidnapping. Cam and CeCe’s guest house is as secure as this building and probably more secure than your workroom.”
“Wait. You don’t expect me to stop working and lounge around the pool, do you? If that’s the case, you have me confused with someone else, mixed up a woman I don’t even know.” His chuckle surprised her, the vibration of his chest against her side igniting a fire in her core.
Cooper thought she was going to push through the memory block. He’d felt the lance of pain as it ricocheted around inside Catalina’s head when she tried to pull the memory to the surface. Jesus, Joseph, and sweet Mother Mary, no wonder she wasn’t willing to push herself past the pain—it was excruciating. Making a note to look for a private hypnotist, he wondered if waiting for Catalina to remember the information on her own was doing more harm than good.
Looking at the plans for the remodel was a good distraction. Catalina only made a couple of small changes. He’d laughed when she’d quietly vetoed the splashes of green the designer used. Cat’s explanation had been simple, “Green is for tractors, grass, and trees.”
Noting the changes and forwarding them to the contractor and design team, Cooper refocused his attention on the woman sitting on his lap. Tension rolled off her in waves despite the crushing fatigue he knew she was fighting. Smiling to himself, he wondered if she’d noticed many of their personal effects were missing. He’d given the movers permission to start, shocked by how much they’d managed to get finished in just a few hours. Shifting so he could look directly into her tired eyes, he opened his mouth to speak but closed it quickly when she shook her head.
“I’m tired of everyone walking on eggshells, pretending they are sparing my feelings, and treating me like I’m going to break.” Cooper wasn’t surprised she’d noticed. Hell, he’d known this was coming but hadn’t expected it this soon. “It isn’t your name or Cam’s I’m struggling with, Cooper. Anyone with an IQ over room temperature would know I’d do anything to protect you and Cam.” Okay, he’d be lying if he said she hadn’t shocked him. They’d all been tiptoeing around for weeks, and she’d known all along their names were on the list?
“It has to be something or someone else, but who or what? I’ve never worked closely with any other agents.” She was right, the reason Cat had been so successful was her distance from the Agency. As a jewelry designer, she’d been free to cross not only political borders but the invisible cultural boundaries as well.
“Have you considered the elusive name might not be an agent?” He’d spoken the words without taking time to think about how they might sound or think through how the question might affect her. She launched herself off his lap with such power and speed, he got a firsthand look at the shifter she kept concealed just beneath the surface. Pacing the length of the room, Catalina’s grace was a thing of beauty. She didn’t turn when she reached the end of the wall of windows—his new mate pivoted with the sleek style he usually associated with dancers.
“Thanks for the compliments. I’ll attribute my ability to move at all to being genetically enhanced to heal at an accelerated rate.” When he didn’t comment, she froze in her tracks to turn, drilling him with a stare so intense, Cooper swore it felt like a slap. “My ass. I’m talking about my ass. If I wasn’t a shifter, my ass would be so sore, I’d be moving at a snail’s pace.” Her response was so unexpected, Cooper couldn’t hold back his bark of laughter. Hell, she was right, but then many submissives would have safeworded out before reaching subspace.
“I’m amused by your repeated use of the word ass, Princess.”
“It’s an anatomical description, so it doesn’t count as cursing.” She hadn’t missed a beat responding. Her lightning-fast mind was only one of the things he loved about her.
“Point taken, and for what it’s worth, I’m glad you aren’t suffering any long-term pain. I’ll also take this opportunity to remind you safewords are in place for a reason. You will never be penalized for using it. A scene that works today might not work a month or a year from now. There are many reasons things change, and I don’t want you to ever hesitate to slow things down if you need to or call a halt to the entire scene if it’s too much for you.”
Emotional triggers could change over time. Cooper had heard more than one story about a submissive who pushed through a scene simply because it hadn’t been a problem before. Continuing with a scene when it was causing emotional harm went against every aspect of BDSM’s guiding tenet. It wasn’t safe, nor did it qualify as sane or consensual.
Since submissives are by nature pleasers, they often put their needs on the backburner, sacrificing what they knew was in their best interest, time and time again. He didn’t expect it would ever be an issue with Catalina, but he wasn’t going to pass up an opportunity to remind her.
Cooper woke up to the soft rumbling of thunder in the distance and smiled. Texas weather was often unpredictable, confounding the forecasters, but thankfully, they’d gotten it right this time—unlike yesterday when they’d predicted storms, and it had been sunny and clear. It didn’t matter how much he traveled, it always took time for his body to reset to a new time zone. He didn’t consider it jet lag because he didn’t have any of the swamping fatigue, sleep disruptions, or stomach disorders other people complained about. It was more about his body slowly shifting back to what most people considered a normal circadian cycle.
“For the love of all things sacred, stop thinking so loud. It’s too early for all this chatter.” Cooper chuckled as he pushed the hair away from her face.
“Still not a morning person, Princess?” It always amused him how predictably her body clock operated. No matter what time zone they were in, Cat was a night owl, preferring to work until just before sunrise, then sleep until late morning. More often than not, she skidded into the hotel’s brunch buffet moments after it closed. She usually spent the next ten minutes feeding the concierge a sob-story, her performances often worthy of an Oscar nomination. After stumbling upon the mini production by accident, Cooper made a point to be in the restaurant every time thereafter. After a particularly stunning performance, he’d applauded, which infuriated her.
“Please, I’m begging you. Stop. Thinking. So. Loud.” When she made a grab for a pillow, he laughed out loud. There wasn’t any way to muffle telepathic noise.
“I agree, staying in bed at this point should include a lot more than thinking.” Before she could voice an argument, Cooper flipped her over and pinned her hands over her head. A glint of mischief was shining in her eyes, but he knew she wouldn’t attempt a countermove. She wouldn’t be able to escape, but he decided to make certain she understood the benefits of submitting far outweighed any small sliver of pride she would find in a token protest.
“Don’t move, Princess. I’m in the mood to play, and since you’re awake anyway…” He felt more than heard her quick snort of derision, but she wisely kept whatever wisecrack was dancing on the tip of her tongue to herself. It didn’t escape his attention, she was also shielding her thoughts, a wise move considering the circumstance. Pressing soft kisses over her eyes, Cooper knew she had understood the implied command to keep her eyes closed. Kissing his way down the side of her face and following the line of her jaw, Cooper grinned when goosebumps raced over her skin.
Pressing his tongue against the rapid pulse pounding at the base of her throat, Cooper felt her heart rate kick up. Damn, the woman was so responsive, it was like tossing gas on the fire of his desire. The farther down her body his lips moved, the shallower her breathing became. By the time he reached the smooth skin above her sex, Cat’s scent was thick in the air. Learning about all the physical enhancements that would follow mating hadn’t fully prepared him for the reality. Her pussy had always tasted sweeter than any other woman he’d ever had, but this was something so much more intense, he knew there was no way he could ever explain it. The first lick through her slick folds sent the taste of wild honey bursting over his tastebuds.
“Fucking perfect. You taste so good, I may spend the entire morning feasting on you and say to hell with the brunch I ordered.” The muscles beneath his hands stiffened, and he wasn’t disappointed when pictures of her favorites drifted through his mind. Evidently, it was harder for her to shield her thoughts when he pushed her closer to release. “It’s going to be a tough call, my sweet mate. Everything about you makes my cock ache to claim what is mine. On the other hand, I can feel your hunger, and those pictures of sausage and bacon in cream gravy pouring over steaming butter biscuits are giving me a taste of an entirely different kind of hunger.”
“Please. I need to feel you inside me.” I need to know you still want me… that the woman you found in that dirty cell isn’t the one you see when you look at me.
Cooper couldn’t believe what he’d just heard.
“You know what I see every time I look at you, Princess?” She stiffened, but he refused to apologize for listening in on her thoughts or coddle her with hollow platitudes. “I see the strongest woman I’ve ever known—a survivor fighting her way back from an experience so horrific, it would have left most people shattered. I see a woman who has put everything on the line time and time again to do what she knew was the right thing. Every scar is a testament to your survival. Every nightmare gives me a chance to hold you, sharing my strength until yours is renewed. I see a woman who expects too much from herself, asks too little of those around her, and has forgotten it’s okay to lean on the people who love her.”
Watching Cat’s eyes fill with tears as she tried in vain to blink them away melted his resolve to affirm without cosseting her. Sliding his bare flesh along her satin-smooth skin, he moved back up until they were once again face to face. Kissing away Catalina’s salty tears, he knew she didn’t see herself the way he did, but he planned to keep telling her what he saw until she believed him.
“I’m humbled, Ace.” He smiled at her use of the nickname she’d given him when they first met. He’d always pretended to be annoyed but was, in fact, secretly amused. Cooper had known then what she’d refused to admit for far too long—Catalina Adler was his from the moment he saw her walking across campus. It didn’t matter that she had already been recruited by the Agency months earlier, and he had been assigned to review her security clearance. Everything about her impressed him, but it was a midnight run in a nearby park that sealed the deal.
“Oh. My. Freaking. Goddess. You saw me shift?”
Damn, he really was going to have to talk to Brigitte or one of the Adler wives about blocking.