[Darcy]
Pammie’s eyes almost roll out of her head when Joey, Cybil and I all walk into the auditorium together.
“Um, I’m going to sign up for one of the volunteer shifts for the project,” I say.
“Me, too!” Cybil says.
We ignore the surprised look on Joey’s face, walk lockstep over to the bulletin board where the sign up sheet is posted, and write our names in for tomorrow’s shift. There goes the afternoon. But better one afternoon at Return to Work than no afternoons at rehearsals.
I sign up first, then Cybil writes her name in letters twice as big as mine.
Mr. Ash looks up from his clipboard. “Thank you, ladies!”
Hmm. Maybe this “volunteering” business will score some points with him.
Pammie signals Cybil to come over and sit next to her. Cybil hesitates, but finally goes.
Suddenly, Erin pops up in a dimly lit row. “Cybil.” She motions me over to where she, Vanna and Rachel are sitting.
I turn to Joey and flutter my eyelashes at him.
Joey looks as if he might dissolve.
Poor lovesick guy. Maybe I shouldn’t jerk him around. I mean, he is my brother, and what if Cybil and I never switch back? I’d have to ditch him. I’ve never ditched anyone, which makes sense, since I’ve never had even one date, never mind been half of a couple. I’m getting a headache just thinking about it.
Joey goes and sits with some guys gathered near the door. One of his buds must be auditioning. I join Erin, Vanna and Rachel, who all give me air kisses and assure me they are my “support group,” giggle, giggle. Erin starts to ask me what I was doing with “Darcy” and “that guy,” and what was I signing up for, but I shush her. “Mr. Ash is making an announcement.”
[Cybil]
Joey is so crushing on me. Why have I not noticed this guy before???
“Are you nervous?” Pammie asks.
“What? Me? No, I’m not nervous,” I say, mostly to convince myself. I mean, if I were me—that is, in my very own body—I wouldn’t be nervous, ‘cause I know I can sing and I’d look great and I could nail this role. But. What’s going to come out of my throat when I open this mouth? Darcy doesn’t seem like the type who would audition for a singing role if she couldn’t, you know, sing. But who knows!
Pammie looks surprised, but then she smiles and says, “Break a leg.”
I think about telling her that she should wait to say that until after I get the part and just before I go on stage, but at that moment Mr. Ash shouts, “Attention!” and points to the ceiling with a dramatic flourish. He stands as pin straight as the former Air Force pilot he is rumored to be, and arches one perfectly groomed eyebrow. “Would someone help me pass out copies of the script?”
Malcolm hops up and volunteers before anyone else can twitch a muscle.
I have the entire play memorized, but I take the script and glance through it. I so want the role of Eliza. I’m perfect for it.
Mr. Ash says, “We’ll start by reading Henry Higgin’s part.”
My audition will have to wait.
[Darcy]
When Mr. Ash looks over the guys sitting together and asks, “Who’s trying out for Higgins?” I see Joey raise his hand. Er. What if I’m Eliza and by some miracle he’s Henry Higgins??? At least there are no kissing scenes!
[Joey]
What if I get the role of Higgins and Cybil is Eliza? Too bad there are no kissing scenes.
[Darcy]
Joey looks nervous. No wonder. He’s never been in a play before, he’s never even auditioned. I wonder if he’s doing this because he’s hoping “Cybil” will be Eliza? What if Cybil or I get the role, and then we switch back to ourselves. Then what? I can’t think about that now. I’ll go nuts if I do.
“Page thirty two,” Mr. Ash says to Joey. “Start at the top.”
Joey’s face goes white. He looks over at Cybil, of course not knowing she’s not really me. She gives him an encouraging smile! Interesting. Joey glances at me. I flash a big smile. Joey smiles back, visibly relaxes and faces me as he reads his lines.
He does okay, but, I don’t know, he sounds too nice to be Henry Higgins. Still, when he finishes, Mr. Ash asks him to sing “I’ve Grown Accustomed to Her Face.” Joey does in the talking/singing way associated with the role, and it sounds pretty good to me.
“Thank you, Mr. Doane,” Ash says, not giving away by mood or manner his opinion of Joey’s audition. He flicks his pinky finger over his eyebrow. “Who’s next?”
Bernie, a tall guy with a doughy face, steps up. He does a pretty good job. Several other guys do the same scene, and by the end I can hardly tell one from the other. But Ash takes numerous notes.
Joey looks deflated, until he sees me looking at him, and then his mouth turns into a tentative smile. I smile back, and suddenly his face is beaming. I have to remember the power I now possess and the effect it has on people, especially guy people, and Joey in particular.
“And now,” Mr. Ash says, making a waving gesture with his right hand, “who would like to begin the reading for Eliza?”
Hands shoot up all over the auditorium, including, of course, mine.
I wilt when Mr. Ash says, “Jillian Kingsbury, why don’t you go first?”
[Cybil]
Ack! Jillian is too good. She puts the right amount of charm and emotion into her reading, and she has a beautiful voice. But I’ve been in beauty pageants, I have stage presence. Even stuck with Darcy’s face I can snag this role, if my voice is good enough. That’s the real question!
Mr. Ash calls my name. I guess I’ll find out what comes out of my throat ….
Ash has me read, as Jillian did, from early in the play where Eliza is very much the flower girl. I so have fun with it, and I think I nail the character exactly. Then Ash has me go to the opposite extreme, singing “I Could Have Danced All Night,” which is when Eliza is all refined. I’m relieved when the voice coming out of my mouth is good, but I have a problem with the high notes on the very last “all night.” If only I were my own self right now!
[Darcy]
Mr. Ash nods at me. “Cybil.”
Er. My turn. I know I have the looks, and I’m pretty sure I have the voice. I mean, the real Cybil is in Chorus, something I was too chicken to try out for when I was the original, plain, everyday me. I raise my chin and start reading. Am I as good as Jillian and Cybil? Do I have a lock on Eliza’s Cockney accent? I sing. All the notes come out right, but I’m not sure about the breathing, ‘cause my chest feels as if there’s a huge rubber band around it. Maybe I’m the only one who notices.
When I sit down, Vanna says, “Good job!” Rachel gives me a thumbs up. Erin nods what I think is her approval.
But Mr. Ash merely says, “Thank you,” and continues with auditions. Some people leave after trying out. I feel cemented to my chair.
Erin squirms in her seat. She whispers, “You ready to leave now?”
I shake my head.
“Well, uh, I have to go. I’ll, uh, see you later.”
“Okay,” I say. “Thanks for coming.”
Erin leaves. Rachel and Vanna start to look restless, and they take off soon after. I see Pammie whispering to Cybil. I miss Pammie. I mean, I could really talk to her.
Winston tries out for the role of Eliza’s father, and I think he is hilarious as he sings “Get Me to the Church on Time.” Malcolm auditions for Freddie. He has the lovesick look, but his voice is shaky, and he’s so short and gnome like. Maybe some day ….
Just when I think the auditions are over Mr. Ash announces, “I’d like to have some of you read for other parts. It’s your decision, of course, but there are no small roles. Every part is rewarding.”
There’s a murmur throughout the auditorium.
Mr. Ash says, “Darcy, would you like to read for ‘Mrs. Pearce?’“
[Cybil]
“Of course I would not like to read for the role of Mrs. Pearce. I’m Eliza. Can’t you see that?” That’s not what I say. I figure it’s to my advantage to, you know, look like a good sport. I decide, under the circumstances, I’d better not put all my eggs in one omelet, so I say, with as much enthusiasm as I can fake, “Sure!”
I read for the part, and Mr. Ash thanks me in that non committal way. He then asks Joey if he’d like to audition for the role of Col. Pickering. I can totally see Joey as Col. Pickering.
[Darcy]
Of course! Joey is Col. Pickering. He’s nice to everyone. Even me.
[Joey]
Me? Col. Pickering? “Um, okay.”