Chapter 2 - Noah

Amnesia ~5 Seconds Of Summer

“Why the frown, Charlie Brown? Tomorrow’s our wedding day! You should be shouting from every rooftop letting everyone know how happy you are!”

“Sorry, Siena. I wasn’t frowning. I was thinking about unnecessary things. I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“You will! I’ll be the most beautiful woman in the room.”

“Is there any doubt? Good-bye Noah. Good-bye Admiral Bergstrom.”

“Bye.”

“Bye.”

“I have no doubt she’s excited to get married. But, I do wonder about your heart. Why are you doing this if she’s not the one for you, Son?”

“Is it that obvious, Dad? I mean, it’s not that I don’t want to marry Siena. I do. The timing isn’t quite right. I’d like to accomplish a few other things before I settle down.”

“Take it from a man who’s full of regrets, if this isn’t what you want, walk away. Marriage is forever.”

“You didn’t want marriage with Mom?”

“It was the divorce I didn’t want.”

“I don’t know what to do, Dad. I believe Siena and I love each other.”

“But?”

“But, I still think of Marni. Our last exchange in her hotel room haunts me. I shouldn’t have let her walk away without a fight. I think I gave up too easily.”

“Is it guilt that’s plaguing you or Marni herself? You’re a good kid, Noah. You’re feeling guilty for hurting Marni. Maybe you’re purposely making yourself unhappy so you won’t feel bad about getting married to Siena? If so, that’s not fair to your future wife. She deserves to be happy with you.”

“I’m so confused, Dad. My head hurts when I think about all this. I don’t want to be responsible for the misery of two women.”

“You’ll be a good husband, Noah. We Bergstrom men love our women. Be good to the woman in your bed.”

“Thanks, Dad.”

 

“Hey. Did I lose you?”

“Sorry, Mar. What’d you say?”

“I said I don’t need any guilty recanting of your first marriage, but if it’s something you must do, then I’m all ears.”

“I need to start this topic by asking why you gave up on me so easily our last night together, Mar.”

“I could ask you the same question.” She hesitated briefly, and then added, “I knew the inevitable, Noah. After Ben, I wanted to be someone’s love, not someone’s guilty conscience. I also felt incredibly betrayed by you. Of all people…with the way you pursued me…with the amount of attention and affection you showed me...you were the last one I thought would cheat on me.” I tried to protest, but she wanted her say. “Maybe you didn’t physically cheat, but your body already belonged to Siena. The brief interaction I saw between you two the night of your birthday party, I knew you were on your way to falling in love with her, if not already there.”

“OK.” I blew out a hard breath. “Perhaps this was a bad idea. I should have started with an apology.”

“Noah. You’ve apologized enough. I don’t need anymore.”

“I know when we re-met in New York, I did and said everything I needed to so we could get together again. But now that we’re getting married, I want to explain everything to you so there are no surprises after we’re married.”

“All right. I’m listening.”

I sat comfortably and started my tale. “Siena and I met the summer before our freshman year in college. Our chemistry was instant and we started a relationship.” Marni fidgeted in her seat. Could what I was doing be more detrimental to our relationship than I thought? “However, our relationship ended as quickly as it started. I wanted to get serious about school and my future, and Siena wanted to forever live a high school romance.”

“You were both young. I suppose that’s how Ben and I were. I wanted him to follow me to college and make something of himself. He, on the other hand, believed he could become somebody without taking the old-fashioned route.”

“When I started at NYU, I had every intention of honoring my commitment to you. At first, it was really school that separated us. I could barely keep my head above water. For the first time in my life, I didn’t have control and it scared me. Failure was not an option, being the son of a high-ranking Navy Admiral. I couldn’t embarrass my father.”

“Noah, I understood back then you were going to be busy. I had all kinds of misgivings about our relationship as soon as summer started. You helped alleviate some of it when you visited me in Vegas, but as soon as school began, I knew we were done. So in many ways, it wasn’t only your fault that we ended. I expected us to end. I’m at fault, too.”

“No, Marni. You’re not at fault. I’d always had a hard time saying no to Siena and even as a grown man, I couldn’t say no. She seduced me with promises of fun when life was difficult. She smiled when I frowned and comforted me when I felt overwhelmed. She was everywhere and I couldn’t ignore her.” I didn’t like the dimness in my fiancée’s eyes. “What’s the matter,” I asked.

“I feel guilty.”

“What the hell for?”

“I should have called you more and forced you to tell me what was happening in your life. I wasn’t there for you because I didn’t want to face the inevitable. It wasn’t as if I didn’t know your schedule was impossible. I figured if I closed my eyes to the reality around us, you’d figure out a way for us to work. I’m sorry, Noah.”

“That’s not what this conversation is about, Marni. I’m not pointing fingers at you. I only wanted to explain that after that first year, Siena asked me to marry her.” Marni looked shocked. “Brandishing aside all kinds of doubts, I said yes and we married in a lavish ceremony in Rome.”

“That sounds beautiful.” Marni didn’t look me in the eyes when she made this statement.

Before I continued this saga, I wanted to change the mood I’d created. “We don’t have to have a simple wedding at Mom’s. You can have your heart’s desire, Marni. Don’t feel obligated to make life easy for the rest of us. I want you to have the wedding you’ve always dreamed of—you’re not getting another one.” I threatened with a smile.

“I have no desires for a grand wedding. A simple ceremony suits me fine. Did you want something bigger?”

“Hell no. Even when I had the big, I didn’t want it. I like your idea of an intimate family-only wedding.”

“I’ll maybe invite Syl and her husband.”

“If you chose to, then I’ll invite a few navy guys.”

“So are we done?”

“Almost.” I placed my hand atop hers and explained, “Even before Siena and I married, I had doubts about our union. She confirmed those doubts the moment the fun part of the marriage was over. As desperately as she wanted to live in the fantasy of marriage, I wanted to step into reality and progress with life. Less than a year into our marriage, we separated and by our second anniversary, our divorce was final.”

“OK. I heard you. I understand you. I’d like to put this all behind us.”

“The main reason why I wanted to tell you this story was to explain that I have absolutely no doubts about us. Even through our many separations, the fights concerning Ali, and my issues with Ben, I love you and can’t wait to call you my wife. I want you to know that I feel like I’m finally man enough to be your husband. I will take care of you. I will cherish you. I will love you until I die.”

“Thank you, Noah. I love you too.”

She had a satisfied smile. I knew we were on the right track and we would be all right. “What’s on the agenda with the wedding? How can I help you?”

“When are you headed back to San Diego?”

“Tonight. When do you leave?”

“Tomorrow morning. Ben is in a meeting right now with some Hollywood person and didn’t know when he’d be done when we booked our tickets. I did just get a text from him saying he’d be back at the hotel in an hour.”

“Can I ask you what you’re thinking in terms of Ali?”

With a look of fright, she was scared I might have changed my mind. “Will Alice be an issue for you? For us?”

I relieved her fears immediately. “No! Not at all. I actually really like her. She’s adorable. With her red hair and hazel-green eyes, she reminds me very much of you. Is that what you looked like when you were younger?”

Marni paused. “I guess? I’m unsure. Ben’s parents say aside from the hair color, she looks identical to Ben. I’m sure my dad and Jean will probably say Ali is a mirror image of my sister Melody. I think it’s all in the eye of the beholder.”

“In any case, what did you want to do about your situation with Alice, school, and work? I know you’ll be with her during the day. Will you continue with work and school at nights?”

“I’ve been thinking about that.” Her lips pursed and moved from side to side. “I think I’m going to postpone school once the semester is done. I don’t want you to come home to an empty house. It’s important for us to start on the right foot and me being gone half the nights doesn’t seem prudent. As for work, since I get most of it done during Ali’s nap time, I think I’ll continue. But, that’s up for discussion as well.”

“You don’t have to quit school for me.”

“I’d like to spend more time with you, Noah. We’ve lost too much time, already.”

I didn’t like the way Marni sounded. There was an insecurity that shouldn’t be there. “Marni. What’s the matter? I’m pumped we are getting married. I feel like I can conquer the world. Do you not feel the same way?”

“It’s not that I’m not excited about marrying you. I just feel like you’ve sacrificed everything to be with me. I want to do something for you and this was the only thing I could sacrifice.”

Pulling her out of her chair and onto my lap, I kissed her with all the love I had. “I would give up every last thing I own to be with you. Let’s not make any rash decisions until after we’re married. If work and school separate us more nights than we like, you can quit, postpone, continue—I’m good with all of the above. All I want is for us to live as husband and wife.”

Those were the magic words. She was glowing like a future bride.

We’d be married in two weeks!