SAM froze, caught by the imploring gaze of Reese’s dark eyes. She knew he was waiting for her to tell what she knew, but she didn’t want to admit her past failures out loud, and especially not to the handsome chopper pilot.
During the flight, she’d felt connected to Reese, as if their minds were completely in sync, each instinctively working together to bring Jamie safely to Trinity. He’d helped her as much as Andrew had, maybe more. She knew Reese deserved part of the credit for making her first solo flight a resounding success.
But when she’d returned to the hangar and found the lily, her brief euphoria had faded, replaced by a sick clenching in her gut. Denis Markowicz, her controlling ex-husband, had found her again. Once she’d loved lilies, until Denis had showered her with them over and over again. Now the very scent of a lily made her ill.
They’d been divorced for over a year. Why did he persist in seeking ways to make her life miserable?
Because he can, she silently admitted. Because I let him, by overreacting to his childish gestures. In a few months she’d graduate and take her emergency medicine boards to become a physician. How was it that the minute Denis pulled one of his stunts she felt helplessly trapped in his manipulations?
Self-doubt seeped through her mind. Maybe Denis was right. Maybe she’d never make it alone.
As quickly as the thought came, she shoved it away. She was strong. She could do this.
“You know who sent it, don’t you?”
Since Reese was still looking at her expectantly, she forced herself to answer. “No, I don’t.” She kept her expression carefully blank, hoping Reese wouldn’t notice her hands were shaking.
“Sure you do. It’s okay, I understand.”
His matter-of-fact statement caught her off guard. She fought the urge to confess. Usually, she could keep one step ahead of prying questions. She’d certainly had more than enough practice at hiding the truth.
She strove to sound casual. “Doesn’t matter. Past history.” Holding his gaze wasn’t easy. Nearly six feet tall and broad-shouldered, Reese was the strong, silent type. He didn’t talk about himself much but he had a knack for drawing out confidences from others.
Heck, one look from his melt-your-heart chocolate-brown eyes and she’d nearly blabbed the truth.
For a long moment, he simply waited. His intent expression spoke volumes, basically telling her he knew she was lying and was debating whether or not to call her on it. Finally, he nodded.
“I’m here for you, if you need anything. You can always call me.”
“Sure thing.” She released her breath in a soundless sigh. Not that she planned to seek him out, but if she did choose to confide in him, what would his reaction be? Would Reese look down on her for being divorced, or would he understand her desperation to be free from her husband’s overly controlling nature? As a woman in a male-dominated profession, she knew only too well how the male species stuck together.
Reese turned away, then glanced back over his shoulder. “Dr Kearn?”
His formal address almost made her wince. So much for feeling as if they were true partners in flight. He didn’t use titles when he spoke with any of the others, so it couldn’t be by accident that he’d singled her out. “Yes?”
“If you really don’t want any more deliveries, let Security know. We take our safety very seriously around here.”
Samantha stared after his retreating figure. Did he think she would do anything to harm the crew?
Denis wanted to control her, to convince her to come back to him, not to physically hurt her. Reese didn’t have to act as if she was a total safety risk.
Some of her anger evaporated, though, because she knew Reese only cared about keeping them safe. And she hadn’t told Reese the truth, so how could he know Denis’s intent? Besides, the way Denis had found her at Lifeline was creepy. She hadn’t heard from him in two months, so why now? Should she make plans to move out of her new apartment? Quit her Lifeline rotation? She could just imagine what Dr Ben Harris, her boss and the medical director of Trinity’s Emergency Department, would think about that.
Endless questions rattled in her brain like a box of uncooked noodles. Now that Denis had found her, he wasn’t likely to just simply leave her alone. Maybe she should call the police, tell them about the lily? After the divorce she’d taken out a restraining order against Denis, for all the good it did. She crossed the room toward the phone, then stopped.
There wasn’t a card, which meant they wouldn’t be able to prove Denis had sent the flower. Oh, they’d investigate the flower shop where the delivery had originated, but she’d been down that road before. No doubt the transaction had been made with cash and if Denis had run true to form, he’d found someone else to do his dirty work, ensuring there would be no tracing the lily to him.
The one thing Denis excelled at was covering his tracks.
Samantha gave herself a mental shake. Better to stop dwelling on Denis the Menace. Agonizing over his next move played right into his psycho scheme. She detested his ability to intrude on her thoughts.
Abruptly she straightened and squared her shoulders. What was she worried about? She was a free and independent woman, not the naïve person who’d married too young. It was about time Denis realized the truth.
She was determined to remain immune to his mind games.
Despite her determination to forget her past, the heavy, cloying scent of the lily seemed to follow her as she restocked the supplies they’d used from the flight bag. She was glad to be alone, away from Reese’s all too knowing brown eyes. What she wouldn’t give for a call now. Something to occupy her mind would be heavenly.
“Hungry?” Reese asked from the doorway of the supply room.
She snapped her head around. Already, her muscles were tighter than a coiled spring. She let her breath out in a soundless sigh. “Uh, sure. Give me a few minutes.”
Reese waited patiently for her to finish. His silent presence was overwhelmingly close and her fingers turned clumsy, nearly dropping a small stack of catheters on the floor.
She managed to get them packed into the flight bag, then double-checked to make sure she had everything. “I’ll put this away and meet you in the lounge.”
“I’ll take it for you.” He easily slid the bag from her grasp.
Logic told her Reese was simply being polite, but his take-charge manner rubbed her up the wrong way. Plus, she couldn’t help but wonder if he didn’t trust her near the helicopter. She’d noticed over the past few weeks how Reese watched Mitch the mechanic like a hawk while he worked on it. The other crew members teased Reese about it, although he didn’t seem to care. And hadn’t his reaction to the iced blades been a little strange? Surely, as a pilot, he’d been forced to de-ice choppers before?
Of course, the danger had been very real. He’d admitted as much when she’d asked him point-blank.
Normally she didn’t think about the danger of flying any more than ambulance drivers probably considered the threat of a potential crash while they raced to an accident scene. The helicopter was just one means of transport, one she happened to prefer. And Lifeline had an excellent twenty-year crash-free history.
She was just being paranoid. Reese took his responsibilities seriously. So seriously, she wondered about him sometimes. During these past few weeks she couldn’t remember ever hearing him laugh out loud. But Reese’s somber attitude wasn’t her concern. She couldn’t afford to worry about him. Her goal was to graduate and move on with her own life, in that order.
Andrew joined her in the lounge. A few minutes later, Reese strode in.
“What are you hungry for? Take-out pizza or the deli across the street?” Reese wanted to know.
Samantha almost requested pizza until she realized it was only to avoid going outside because she feared seeing Denis. Don’t do this, she warned herself. Don’t let him force you into hiding from life. This is all a part of his need for control.
“The deli.” She quickly spoke up before she could change her mind.
Andrew grinned and rubbed his hands together. “Yeah, I’m in the mood for a Reuben sandwich.”
They grabbed their thick quilted Lifeline jackets as the frigid Wisconsin winter wind was sharp enough to etch steel. Reese gestured for them to precede him out the door. Sam kept her gaze forward as they crossed the street, refusing to search for signs of Denis following her.
The deli was packed with people, even on such a cold day. They were close enough that if a call came in, they’d still be able to get into the air within the designated five-minute time frame. They stood in line and placed their order, then waited another few minutes until their food was ready. Samantha only hoped she’d have time to finish her turkey before the next call came in.
While the noisy deli was hardly an intimate atmosphere, she was keenly aware of the slightest brush of Reese’s knee against hers as the three of them sat around a small table. When his knee stayed warmly against hers, she waited for him to move. When he didn’t, she subtly shifted away. Concentrating on her food, she knew she was being ridiculous. No doubt Reese hadn’t even noticed the innocent touch.
“I still can’t believe you inserted a chest tube in flight,” Andrew gushed around a mouthful of his corned beef sandwich. “That was totally awesome.”
Reese raised a brow. “Is a chest tube such an unusual procedure?”
Sam shrugged. “Not really. It’s pretty commonplace in the emergency department.” Andrew’s praise made her uncomfortable. She’d been worried during the procedure, but Reese’s calm voice had helped keep her fingers steady.
“I’ve been at Lifeline for three years and I haven’t seen it done until today,” Andrew stubbornly persisted.
Sam ate her turkey, but she could feel Reese’s intent gaze on her, as he seemed to silently agree with Andrew’s assessment.
At least her medical skills were something to be proud of, not like her personal life. There, she was a complete failure.
The morose thought caused her appetite to evaporate. She crumpled her napkin and tossed it on her half-eaten food. “I’m finished, so I’m heading back.”
Before she could stand, Reese’s hand clasped her arm. She caught her breath at his touch. His fingers were warm, holding her securely but nowhere near hard enough to bruise. “Wait. Don’t go alone.”
The urge to pull away and stomp out of there was strong. Instinctively, she bristled. Who was he to tell her what to do?
“I’m fine. Really.” She flashed them both a reassuring smile.
“Please?”
His quiet plea stopped her from leaving as nothing else would have. Denis had never asked, he’d demanded. She knew not every man was like her ex, but somehow her first reaction was to lash out as if they were.
“I guess I can wait.” She settled back into her seat.
“Thank you.” Reese stared at her for a moment, then slowly drew his hand from her arm.
She almost stroked the spot where he’d touched her, amazed at the strange, tingling sensation left by his warm grip. Normally her skin crawled when a man touched her. What had changed? Why didn’t she have the same reaction with Reese Jarvis?
She couldn’t come up with a good answer as the guys finished their meal in record time, no doubt virtually inhaling their food on her behalf, just so she wouldn’t have to wait.
Guilt returned full force. “Don’t rush. It’s not as if we have calls waiting,” she urged them.
“We’re not rushing, are we?” Reese asked Andrew, after swallowing his last bit of food.
“Nope. I always eat fast. Drives my wife nuts,” Andrew cheerfully replied.
She gave up as they quickly rolled their wrappers into a ball and stood to leave.
Outside, Reese and Andrew fell into step on either side of her as they walked back to the Lifeline hangar. Sam was struck by how hyperaware she was of Reese on her right, while Andrew could have been nonexistent on her left. The faintest whiff of Reese’s spicy aftershave enticed her to move closer.
What was wrong with her? Reese certainly seemed like a nice guy but, heaven knew, she’d been wrong before. She didn’t have time for this weird attraction. Not when she needed all her energy to focus on finishing her residency and getting her personal life on track.
She would follow Reese’s example and keep a professional distance between them. Which shouldn’t be too difficult, especially since during their flight time Reese sat in the cockpit.
If she could only get his husky voice out of her head, she’d be fine.
Reese stared at the weather radar screen without seeing a single cloud. Even the icy blades were a distant memory. The strange flower delivery Samantha had received nagged at him, wreaking havoc with his concentration.
Surely it was just the idea she might be in trouble, rather than the woman herself that bothered him?
“Reese?”
He glanced up, startled to find the woman occupying his thoughts standing in front of him. Samantha—or rather Dr Kearn—looked incredibly tiny in the figure-hugging flight suit. Too small to hold her own against some creep bugging her with a stupid gift.
“I want you to know, I called Security.”
He was surprised at her frank admission. The way she’d refused to tell him the truth earlier had him betting she would have continued to deny anything was wrong. A surge of anger about the situation caught him off guard. Who in the hell had sent the thing to her, anyway? And why didn’t she just tell the creep to shove off? “Good. I’m glad.”
“So there’s no need to worry about a security breach.” Samantha’s gaze bored into his for a moment, then she gestured to the screen. “How much longer before the snow clears?”
“Not sure. Another hour at least.” Reese frowned when she turned to leave. “Wait a minute, I wasn’t implying you had caused a breach in security.”
“Weren’t you?” Her cool tone flayed him. She spun on her heel and stalked away.
Reese stared after her, then dropped his head into his hand. Man, he’d really botched that one. He’d never intended to hurt her, but maybe it was better she stay ticked at him. Her slender arm had felt far too good beneath his hand. Listening to her husky voice through the headset in flight was bad enough. Every word she spoke made him think of soft down blankets and endless winter nights. Being so close to her was tempting. He never should have touched her.
He’d watched many like her come and go. Senior emergency medicine residents did their required rotations, then left to graduate as full-fledged physicians. The only full-time doctor on staff was Dr Jared O’Connor, and he was a pediatric specialist as well as the medical director of the program.
Seeing the residents come and go had never bothered him before, especially the women. He wasn’t in the market for a relationship. Ever. The pain of losing someone you loved was too devastating. Didn’t he see the same theme over and over again with every injured or sick person they transported? Every patient had someone who mourned the potential loss of wife, father, sister or child. He’d been down that road before and had no intention of repeating the experience.
More than enough reason to remind himself the beautiful Dr Kearn was off-limits.
A call came in, requesting a response to a crash scene. Samantha materialized in the doorway before he’d finished reading the entire message on his pager.
“Ready to go?”
“I don’t think so.” Reese gestured to the radar screen. “The snow is getting thick and heavy. The higher the altitude, the more likely the snow will be freezing rain. Temperatures are hovering around freezing. Dangerous flying weather.”
Her frown was perplexed. “But we’ve flown in snow before.”
Reese hesitated for a moment, then shrugged. He knew there were pilots who pushed the line of safe flying, but he wasn’t one of them. Snow in and of itself didn’t justify red flying conditions, but freezing rain did, and the temperature was too fickle right now to make the distinction. Swallowing his own disappointment, he picked up the phone to call the paramedic base. “Base, we’re in yellow flying conditions that are leaning toward red. I don’t think we should respond to this call.”
“Roger, we’ll notify the paramedic unit closest to the scene.”
Samantha stared at him for a long minute and he braced himself for the arguments he could practically see dancing in her head. To his surprise, though, she simply turned and left.
Guilt weighted heavy on his heart. There was only an hour left until the end of their twelve-hour shift and Reese reminded himself how keeping the crew safe was his top priority. The crash victims would get the aid they needed. Still, he silently admitted he didn’t like turning down anyone in distress. Their purpose was to save lives, but he knew from painful firsthand experience that he couldn’t save anyone by putting the crew at risk.
The weather had been similar, thick, wet swirling snow, the night Greg and Valerie had crashed. He had tortured himself for weeks after their deaths, wondering if he could have prevented it. Reese had switched shifts with Greg so he could take his grandmother to her doctor’s appointment. Greg had been his friend, but Greg had also been known for being a risky flier. He’d been arrogant, thinking his skills at the stick had far outweighed the threat from the weather.
Had Valerie been willing to go along or had she tried to get Greg to call off the flight? Reese had no way of knowing the truth. He could only comfort himself with the knowledge that Valerie had loved being a flight nurse and had accepted the risks just like the rest of them.
He didn’t realize how long he’d been staring morosely at the radar screen until the pilot coming on shift, Nate, strode into the debriefing room. “Hey, Reese. How’s the weather?”
“I’ve seen better.” Reese subtly glanced at his watch. Surprise widened his eyes. Where had the last hour gone?
“Are we in the red?”
“Yellow, but I turned down a scene call a while ago.” Reese glanced over Nate’s shoulder. “When the rest of the crew arrives, I’ll fill you in.”
Within five minutes Kate and another senior resident, Dr Zach Wilson, entered the debriefing room. Reese quickly gave them an update on the ice incident and the impact of the weather conditions. Samantha and Andrew briefed them on the transport they’d done earlier that day, including the placement of the chest tube. Kate and Zach were impressed by Samantha’s quick thinking.
She flushed and averted her gaze, obviously uncomfortable with the attention. Many of the physicians were a bit on the arrogant side, a fact he readily accepted. He’d always figured you had to be a tad arrogant to work in such a stressful job and, truthfully, pilots were similar in many ways. Samantha was different and he couldn’t help but wonder if the mystery guy who’d sent the flower was part of the reason she didn’t like being the center of attention.
Reese purposefully waited until she and Andrew left the debriefing room before adding another portion of his report, one he preferred to give out of Dr Kearn’s earshot.
“Security has been instructed not to accept any gifts of any nature for Dr Kearn,” he confided.
“Gifts?” Kate’s eyes widened. “Why ever not? I’d love for someone to send me gifts.”
Reese frowned. “Maybe, but I don’t think Dr Kearn’s gift was a token of appreciation. The details aren’t our business.”
“They are, if there’s a threat involved,” Nate argued.
“A flower isn’t exactly a threat.” Reese lifted a hand to halt another argument. “I’ll let Jared know, although I’m certain Dr Kearn will take care of that, too. Still, for now, just make a notation in the book that no deliveries are to be accepted on behalf of Dr Kearn.”
Nate muttered under his breath, but reluctantly agreed. Reese grabbed his coat and left the hangar.
Being a weekend, there weren’t many cars in the parking lot, especially at seven-thirty in the evening. Darkness had fallen, but the fresh white snow covering the ground glittered like shards of glass in the moonlight. Reese blinked through the swirling snow-flakes, noticing how the wheels of a large dark-colored Oldsmobile spun uselessly in the snow. Since Andrew drove a minivan, he figured Samantha was the driver.
“Hey!” He waved to get Samantha’s attention and hastened over to tap on her window. “I have a truck. Why don’t you let me drive you home?”
She rolled down the window. “No, thanks, I’m fine.”
“Come on, the streets are bound to be slippery and I have four-wheel drive. No reason to have two cars on the road.”
“Look, Reese, I don’t need your help. Thanks anyway.” Even as she spoke, she stomped hard on the accelerator and the rear wheels caught enough pavement that her ancient Oldsmobile lurched forward.
Reese stood in the snow, staring after her as she drove off.