My dad and some colleagues on the tugs, pulling a very big Dick.
My dad and some colleagues on the tugs, pulling a very big Dick.
My dad looking cool, although too many falls into the Mersey convinced him to change jobs.
My mum and dad circa 1959: a handsome couple in the Clock, West Derby, Liverpool.
My mum looking beautiful aged 16.
Kathy, Carol and me in the back yard at 9 Severn Walk. I am the one not wearing a dress.
In the front garden with Eddie and his mates. I am sat at the end wearing knitted lederhosen, for some reason, and trying to copy what the big boys are doing.
In Crewe Park, aged 4, practising my right-foot power-drivers. I love the knitted jumper too, which my mum would have made.
Great result ruined by the fact it was me rather than Redknapp who went off injured.
Halton Sports Under-15s, the best team I ever played for – although I hadn’t yet learnt how to shake hands properly.
I was 3 when me, Eddie, Kathy and Carol had this ‘posh‘ picture taken in our house. It was on the wall for the following 40-odd years and I love it.
A school picture aged 7, when my teeth had already decided to take over my head!
Dancing with my mum on New Year’s Eve, wearing the coolest T-shirt I have ever owned.
The Bishops: Mum, me, Kathy, Eddie, Carol and Dad. I am very proud to be part of this family – they laid the foundation for everything.
Coaching ‘soccer’ in America, although I cannot remember why I am wearing a nappy.
Playing for Southport, and concentrating on the game enough to smile for the camera.
Scoring for Southport. It did go in, as you can see from the excitement of the crowd.
The shoe at the Grand Canyon: not a great conversationalist, but not bad company when travelling across the US.
Our Cinderella moment: returning the shoe to Ged in front of another legendary landmark, the Runcorn Bridge.
On the night of my 21st with Sergei and Harvey. A sensible party: Harvey hadn’t even opened his can!
The obligatory cap-and-gown picture. When I realised you just rent them for the shot I asked myself, Why hadn’t I just done that and not bothered with studying?
Sitting on the couch at my mum’s house with Melanie, who was accompanied by her hair and glasses.
Lads on tour. Posing with the Manchester boys in Edinburgh, little did I know that I would perform years later just 200 yards from where this was taken.
Looking very similar to Runcorn: the Sydney Harbour Bridge the day before I set off on the ride of a lifetime.
In Poland it was clear there were Liverpool fans everywhere. (And no, I didn’t write it!)
Riding with my shirt off was okay after a few months, but on the second day I learned it wasn’t such a great idea …
With Joe somewhere in Eastern Europe ’ an inspirational man in every sense. Except fashion sense.
A stop in India would quickly attract a crowd, who came to look at the weirdo in the vest.
When I eventually reached the top of the Daman Pass there was a thriving outdoor laundry in business.
Returning to Liverpool to be greeted by a bloke with bagpipes. Arthur, who is clapping with his hands in the air, probably had no idea what was going on either.
With Melanie in Singapore in 1992, after she had made me get a haircut as well as some respectable clothes.
Our wedding day in May 1993: she looked beautiful; I looked like I had cut my own hair.
The picture used on invitations for our 20th wedding anniversary party. She still takes my breath away.
Joe looking cool in a pool, whilst I look freezing.
Luke when he could still fit on my shoulders.
Daniel trying to show he has the Bishop teeth.
On holiday in Spain with the four most important people in my life.
Onstage at the Comedy Store, looking more ready to have a scrap than tell a joke.
Outside my first ever one-man theatre show, 18 months after my first open-mic spot.
Dancing with Luke on the Sunshine tour: nice that someone in our family can dance, and it’s not me.
My son Joe took this picture backstage when he was on tour with me in Glasgow.
The six Edinburgh shows. Six years of trying to get better.
Fake That: my first exposure to Comic Relief, and in Melanie’s eyes the best thing I have done. Ever.
From non-league to Old Trafford against Will Ferrell, the biggest Elf I have ever played against.
Tip of the day: if you ever introduce your wife to the man she has fancied for years, don’t wear a velvet jacket that makes you look fat.
The reality of life in Kroo Bay slum: sat with Kadiatu near the open sewer, which runs past her house.
Riding to the coast: Greg, Gordon and Andy in the distance making it look easy.
Three people who saved me when I had nothing left. Freddie, Davina and Denise will always be my heroes.
Freddie decided not to join us in the bad hat contest when we started rowing.
Dot doing something with tape that should be kept behind closed doors.
Eddie, Robbie Savage, Daniel and Luke joining me towards the end of the run just when I needed cheering up.
Chris Moyles – who I love, and who did so much to raise money – surprising me on the run.
The reception on the streets was fantastic and, for me, completely unexpected.
The men who made it all possible: Kevin Cahill, head of Sport Relief; Dr Matt who kept me going; Greg the legend who dragged me through; and Dot who stuck me back together.
It’s over, and I am with those who matter most.
On holiday in Majorca, August 2013: I am not the best dad or the best husband, but I am the luckiest. They mean the world to me.
The famous sign that hangs in my kitchen and its replacement.