CHAPTER 19

[ WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 21, 1940 ]

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“I was thinking I should visit Mr. McGregor this morning.” Sharon sat across from Honeysuckle and next to Linda at the kitchen table.

“Why?” Linda put her elbows on the table.

“Linda, just let her alone.” Honeysuckle glared at her daughter. “Why are you trying to provoke her?”

“I need to consider what happens to Sean,” Sharon said. “I have to think about him and what he needs.” What’s Linda’s problem?

“What did you really want to say?” Linda pointed her teaspoon at Sharon. “I mean, you haven’t been yourself since you got here. What is the matter with you?”

“Piss off!” Sharon said.

Linda put her spoon down and sat back. “There’s the girl I know and love! That must feel better. You’re getting your feistiness back. When you walked in the door, you looked like a whipped dog.”

“You were just playing with me! Trying to provoke me!” Sharon almost smiled.

“That’s right.” Linda pointed her finger at her friend. “Everything you’ve done these past weeks, you’ve had to do. It’s very simple: it’s the way things are right now.”

“My father died right in front of me. He was alive, and then he was dead. So I went after the bastards! I must have killed at least fifteen of them. And if you add that total to the others, I’ve killed over twenty people! I’m a murderer!” Sharon wiped the tears from her cheeks.

Honeysuckle looked from her daughter to Sharon and back again.

“I don’t want to be a killer! Look at these hands! They’re the hands of a killer.” She held out her bruised, blistered, and scratched hands.

“In case the three of you haven’t noticed, there’s a war on, and before it’s over, plenty more of us will have blood on our hands.” Michael sat down next to Sharon. He put his arm around her shoulders.

He smelled of soap and shampoo. He smells awfully good. She looked at the open neck of his shirt, then leaned into him.

She pulled McGregor’s business card out of her breast pocket. “Is there any way I could get a lift into Ilkley to see Walter McGregor?”

Michael smiled. “I’m sure something could be arranged. Walter always likes a visit, especially if that visitor is a female.”

Sharon felt herself blushing.

“I’m coming, too!” Sean stood in the doorway.

“Of course you are,” Michael said.

“And I should say hello to my grandmother,” Sharon said.

Silence was an unpleasant visitor at the breakfast table.

Sharon looked at each of them. “What’s happened?”

Honeysuckle put her cup down. “We haven’t seen your grandmother since the last time you saw her.”

“What’s that mean?” Sharon asked.

Sean sat down beside her. “You have a grandmother?”

Linda leaned her elbows on the table. “It means your uncle is keeping her at home. She’s being encouraged to stay away from us. It’s nothing new, really. When your grandfather was alive, we often wouldn’t see her for months on end.”

Sharon looked out the window and remembered her mother talking about her home in England when Leslie had said, “Living there, I felt like a prisoner. Here, I feel free.”

“What are you thinking?” Honeysuckle asked.

“Something my mother said about her brother and father and how they were obsessed with money, position, and their reputations. That Cornelia was like a possession to her father. Leslie was happy she’d taken me to Canada.” Sharon looked at Sean. “I’m just beginning to understand why she never wanted to come back and visit her family.”

“Do you still want to go to Ilkley?” Linda asked.

“More than ever.” Sharon drained her coffee.

Honeysuckle looked at Sean. “Would you like something to eat before you go?”

Sean blushed.

No one laughed, but when Sharon looked around the table, all were smiling.

a Walter McGregor’s office was much like his hair — a bit tangled and unruly. “Let me find you a seat.” He lifted a file off of a leather chair and indicated that Sharon should sit down.

“Thank you for seeing me on such short notice.” Sharon sat and crossed her legs.

“A pleasure, I can assure you.” He sat down. He peered back at her from between two stacks of files.

“You said you would represent me?” Sharon looked out the window. I wonder how long Sean will last, sitting in the car. She remembered Sean’s panicked appeals when Michael dropped her off in front of McGregor’s office.

“Yes, I did.” McGregor leaned back in his chair.

“I would like to name a beneficiary, should something happen to me.” Sharon looked at her hands and interlocked the fingers to keep them still.

“Who would this be?” Walter asked.

“My brother. Half-brother, really. My father’s son.” I must sound like an idiot.

“First, we’ll have to establish that you are your mother’s heir. Do you have any documents, like a birth certificate? I’ll also need your mother’s death certificate.”

Sharon nodded. “I brought them all with me. My mother insisted I keep a file of papers. It’s just that they’re in White Waltham right now.” Why didn’t I think to bring them here?

“Would you be able to mail them to me?” Walter asked.

Sharon nodded. “Yes.”

“And would you like me to begin proceedings to establish that you are the legal heir to your mother’s portion of the estate?”

I wonder how my grandmother will react to this? “Yes.”

“If you can come back in an hour, I will have documents ready for you to sign. Then I will proceed with establishing you as Leslie’s heir, after I receive the documents in the mail.” Walter rubbed two freckled hands together.

“You seem pleased.”

Walter smiled. “Actually, I’ve been waiting for someone to come along so that I could take on Marmaduke.”

“Don’t I have to pay you?”

Walter’s smile broadened. “It just so happens that I am retained by your family. In effect, your uncle is paying me to help you. At least for now.”

“So you’ll be in contact?”

“I will. You will supply a mailing address with your documents?”

“Yes, of course.” That might be difficult, the way I move around.

Walter stood up and offered his hand. She shook it and winced. Walter cocked his head to one side and looked at her thoughtfully. “I’ll see you in an hour, then.”

Sean and Michael were waiting outside in the car.

Sharon opened her door. “He wants me back in an hour to sign some papers.”

“Should be just enough time,” Michael said.

“Just enough time for what?” Sharon asked.

“To see the Cow and Calf rocks.” Sean made it sound like she should have already known what their plans were.

They took a road up a hill, then hiked along a trail through a pasture green from the rain. A rocky sandstone outcrop sat at the top of the hill. One boulder had fallen and was tilted at an angle away from the others.

“Can we climb there?” Sean asked.

“I don’t know.” Sharon looked at the height of the outcrop and the sheer drop on this side.

“It’s easier and quite safe around the back. The view is spectacular. Especially on a cloudy day with shafts of sunlight shining through.” Michael parked and waited for Sharon’s decision.

Sean looked down over the valley.

“As long as we’re careful.” Sharon followed Sean, who trailed Michael around to the back of the boulders.

They made it to the top, and Sharon held Sean back from the edge. Shafts of sunlight streamed down through the clouds and illuminated the valley and the town. “It’s beautiful,” she said.

Sharon recalled a summer day in the foothills of Alberta. Her mother would drive southwest of the city to where a massive pair of boulders the size of mansions had been deposited in a field. Mother and daughter often spent half a day there, eating a picnic lunch, talking, and enjoying the view. Sharon had scrambled over the rocks with the mountains behind her and the prairies spread out in front.

Today, she could see her mother there, smiling, her hand shading her eyes as she told her daughter to take care as she climbed, all the while explaining to Sharon that there were rocks like this near where she’d grown up in England.

“Thank you.” Sharon tucked her arm inside Michael’s elbow.

Michael leaned closer. “Your brother thinks the world of you.”

“I think the world of him. That’s why I need to know he’ll be safe and looked after, no matter what happens to me.”

Michael watched Sean as he stood and looked out over the valley. “You need to be forewarned about your Uncle Marmaduke. He is very well informed. By the time we get back to my mother’s farm, he will have heard that you met with Mr. McGregor.”

“McGregor will tell him?” I’ve trusted the wrong person for a lawyer.

Michael shook his head. “Many of the people in the town and surrounding countryside still live very traditional lives. Marmaduke Lacey is lord of the manor, a member of the privileged class; a man with power. Someone will report you to Marmaduke in the hope of getting in his good graces. McGregor is not one of them.”

“Out of the frying pan and into the fire.” Sharon took a deep breath.

“Not exactly. If you understand your enemy, then you will adopt appropriate tactics.”

Sharon frowned.

“Marmaduke will most likely send someone over to do a reconnoiter at our home. Expect the visit and be prepared. It’s quite simple, actually. It’s also important to understand that you have an advantage.” Michael looked at his watch.

“What’s that?” Sharon asked.

“You’re a Canadian. You don’t know the rules that he expects you to play by. You will be unpredictable. And, I believe, you are not afraid of the man. Most who know him are. Finally, he underestimates you because you are, in his mind, nothing more than a woman. He believes you to be his inferior in breeding and in intellect, which gives you another advantage.” Michael waved Sean over. “We need to start back.”

a Walter McGregor said, “That’s all I require.” He gathered up the signed papers and put them in a file folder. “Please send me the remaining documents, and I’ll begin work from this end.” He offered his hand. “A pleasure to see you again.”

Sharon shook his hand. I wonder how close he was to my mother?

Michael drove them back to meet Honeysuckle and Linda for lunch.

In the middle of the meal, there was a polite knock on the door. Sharon set down her spoon and looked at Michael.

“Who would that be, I wonder?” Honeysuckle winked at her son.

He nodded, stood, and disappeared down the hallway to the front door. “Hello, Cornelia, what a pleasant surprise.”

“Oh Michael, I hope I’m not interrupting,” Cornelia said.

“Not at all. Join us for some tea,” Michael said.

There was the sound of footsteps, and then Cornelia stood before them. She looked from face to face and settled on Sharon. “Oh, I hoped it was you who’d flown in. I’ve been expecting you to drop by for a visit.”

Sharon sat up straight. Breathe and just say whatever you want to say.

“Sit down, dear,” Honeysuckle said.

“Your Uncle Marmaduke would like to see his niece again.” Cornelia sat down next to Linda. “And how are you feeling?” She patted Linda’s leg.

Linda winced with pain. “Better.”

“My Uncle Marmaduke was extremely inappropriate with me the last time we met,” Sharon said. “I’m really not interested in repeating the experience with him. It’s good to see you, though.” Sharon put a slice of leftover ham in her mouth. I’ve said too much!

“Oh, I’m sure you’re mistaken.” Cornelia looked around the table for support. “Your uncle is a very affectionate man.”

Linda choked and Michael made a show of patting her on the back.

Sharon put her hand over her mouth. “My mother always spoke well of you, Grandmother. I always wondered why she never mentioned her brother. Now I think I know why.”

Cornelia’s eyes narrowed and focused on Sean. “And who is this?”

“Sean. My brother.”

There was a collective intake of breath around the table. Cornelia became intensely interested in the way Honeysuckle was pouring her a cup of tea. “From Canada?” she asked.

“Where were you born, Sean?” Sharon asked.

Cornelia looked at Sharon as if to say, You don’t know?

“London,” Sean said.

“That’s nice.” Cornelia stared out the window, then back to Sharon. “And what have you been up to these last few days?”

“Oh, you know, there’s a war on. . . I’ve been learning how to kill.”

a “I don’t want you to go.” Sean stood before Sharon, looking at his toes with his hands in his pockets.

Everyone was in the sitting room after supper.

“Sean, if I don’t go, the Royal Air Force won’t get their fighters. And if the fighters don’t go up to stop the Luftwaffe, then Hitler will invade. I have to go. Then you can be safe, and I need to know that you will be safe.” Sharon felt anxiety telegraphing shivers to her fingertips. She turned to Honeysuckle. “I’m sorry about this.”

“May I interject?” Honeysuckle asked.

“Go right ahead,” Sharon said.

Linda smiled.

Michael studied Sean’s reactions.

Honeysuckle motioned with her hand for Sean to sit between her and Sharon. Sean sat down reluctantly and crossed his arms in front of his chest.

“And you can see that I’m running the farm mostly by myself, can’t you?” Honeysuckle asked.

Sean stared back at her.

“You can see that Linda has been injured — burned, actually. Did you know that it was your sister who got Linda to the hospital for burn victims?”

“No,” Sean said.

“The surgeon thinks that Sharon saved my legs by getting me there right away,” Linda said. “I may have to endure more operations, but I’m beginning to heal because of your sister.”

“I just want to be with Sharon,” Sean said.

“The point is that because of the war, you need to be away from the places most likely to be attacked. I need help on the farm. Sharon needs to know that you’re safe.” Honeysuckle leaned away from Sean to better gauge his reactions.

“She’s right. I need to know that you’re okay.” Sharon combed her fingers through his hair.

“When you pulled me out from under the table, I thought you weren’t going to leave. There’s no one else, you know.” Sean wiped his eyes with the back of his right hand.

“She’s here now, and she’ll be here every leave she gets,” Linda said. “And when I have to go back to East Grinstead for another operation, you will accompany me so we can visit her. The nice thing about the hospital is that it’s close to White Waltham, where Sharon is based.”

Sean looked at his sister. “That’s true?”

Sharon nodded.

“Can you keep a secret?” Michael asked.

Sean looked at him.

“Can you all keep a secret?” Michael looked around the room.

“Yes, Michael, we can,” Honeysuckle said.

“Hitler is massing an invasion fleet in France. He’s given Goering, the man in charge of the Luftwaffe, the job of defeating the RAF. If the RAF can hold off the Luftwaffe, then Hitler cannot invade. What Sharon is doing right now is crucial. We need every pilot and we need every aircraft to stop the Luftwaffe. Sean, Sharon and I need you here to make sure that Linda and Honeysuckle are safe.” Michael glanced at Sharon.

“I won’t tell anyone about the invasion force,” Sean said.

“And Sharon will promise to keep her eyes open and stay away from the air battles,” Michael said.

“I promise,” Sharon said.

“And you’ll come back and visit us every time you have leave?” Honeysuckle asked.

“You won’t be able to keep me away.” Sharon began to cry. She wiped at her face.

“What’s the matter?” Sean asked.

Sharon shook her head because she found she could no longer speak.