Aiden stared at the note Ms. Yang had given him. It would be smart to get it over with, slip into the counselor’s office between classes and set up a meeting. But he just couldn’t face it yet. Aiden stuffed the note in his pocket where it sat for the rest of the day.
After school, Maggie was waiting by his locker. “So how did it go?”
“What?” He was so lost in thought about the panic attack and what he should do that he didn’t know what she was talking about. Then it clicked. “Oh. Um, I didn’t ask her.”
“Why not?” The slight frown on her face was almost a pout.
“Did you notice what happened at lunch today?” He hadn’t meant to sound bitchy.
“You mean Conner giving you the Glare of Doom? There’s really no reason for you to be afraid of him. You and Dylan together are like twenty times more powerful than him.”
Aiden sighed. “It’s not that. I mean, not exactly. I was worried Dylan would get in a fight. It distracted me.” Then he added, “Plus I had a panic attack in gym so I had a lot on my mind.”
“A panic attack? Are you okay?”
“I’m fine now. I freaked out during a match, that’s all. You know I’m not comfortable with magic.”
“But you got so good at it. You were enjoying it last semester, I could tell.” She leaned closer, clutching her books to her chest. “Did something happen over winter break?”
Aiden bit his lip.
“You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to. I’m worried, that’s all. If you need someone to talk to, I’m here.”
“Thanks, Maggie. You’re a really good friend.” If it weren’t for the fact that it involved Dylan, he’d tell her everything. He desperately wanted someone to talk to.
“You’re welcome.” She smiled. “I think you should ask Hanna out as soon as possible. It’ll give you one less thing to worry about, and maybe it’ll give you something good to focus on.”
Dylan showed up and Maggie backed away.
“I should catch my bus.” She flashed Aiden another smile, but it had a nervous edge.
No matter how much he told her about how nice Dylan was, she was still afraid of him. Aiden guessed it wasn’t easy to change your mind about someone you’d been afraid of for years.
“See you tomorrow,” he called after her.
“Hey,” Dylan said.
“Hey.”
“You doing okay?”
“Yeah.”
Dylan shifted his feet. “You sure?”
Aiden nodded. “I’ll be fine.” At least he hoped so. “I’ll talk to the counselor. And don’t worry, I won’t tell him what really happened.”
Dylan cleared his throat. “You can, you know. You don’t have to lie for me.”
His heart ached. “We talked about this already. You’re sorry for what you did, and I’m not going to let you get in trouble for it.”
“Don’t want you to suffer for it.” Dylan looked at the floor.
Aiden lifted a hand, hesitated, then patted his friend on the shoulder. “I’ll be fine. I’d feel much worse if you were locked up or something.”
Dylan nodded and took a few steps back. “It’s up to you. I mean it.” After a pause, he added, “See you tomorrow.”
“Okay.” Aiden watched him go.
* * *
The next day he walked into gym with his heart racing. Ms. Yang had said she wouldn’t put him in matches, so he told himself to calm down. It would either be practice, which he thought he could handle, or he’d sit out the matches.
Ms. Yang was waiting for him and called him over. “Did you see the counselor yet?”
Aiden shook his head.
“I want you to go see him now. Sorry I didn’t catch you before you changed.”
“Right now? What about class?”
“You can skip class today. If anyone catches you in the hall, just show them the slip I gave you.”
Leaving class the day after his panic attack was embarrassing. The other kids would put two and two together, and maybe they’d think he was chickening out. But that was better than fainting in class again and maybe better than drawing attention to himself by sitting on the bench the whole time.
“Okay.” He glanced over to where Dylan stood waiting in the middle of the floor. His friend looked less enthusiastic than usual.
The locker room was completely empty, echoing even more than usual as Aiden changed back into his regular clothes. At least he didn’t have to avoid looking at Dylan. Aiden made his way toward the office, sure he was going to get caught any second. He had permission, but he still felt guilty walking the empty halls when he should be in class. One hall monitor stopped him, and Aiden showed the slip Ms. Yang had given him the day before.
“Let me walk you to the office,” the man said.
Did he not trust Aiden to get there himself? There were several doors within the office area. He remembered the principal’s office from last semester. The hall monitor took him to the other side and pointed. “Through there.”
Aiden nodded and went through the door he indicated.
A pale man sat at the desk. “Hello. What may I do for you?”
“Um.” Aiden pulled the slip from his pocket and handed it over.
The man read it. “Ah, I see. I’m Mr. Emery.” He offered a hand and Aiden shook it. “Please close the door and have a seat.”
Aiden did as he was told, heart racing again as he felt self-conscious. His hands twisted in his lap.
“Why don’t you tell me in your own words why you’re here.”
He told the same story he’d given to Ms. Yang. No matter what Dylan said, Aiden wasn’t going to tell anyone what really happened.
“And ever since then, you’ve been afraid of magic?”
“Not all magic. I’m okay in Minor Magical Control.” It hadn’t been a total relapse. “Just the… really violent stuff. Especially fire.”
He nodded. “I see. I think I can help you. I’d like to see you once a week, starting this Friday. As Ms. Yang is the one who referred you, I’ll schedule you during her class. That should minimize the disruption to your day.”
Except for gym class, of course. But again, Fridays were usually match days, and he’d be sitting those out anyway. “Okay. You won’t… tell anyone else, will you?”
“About what we speak of here?”
Aiden nodded. Bad enough that he knew, and Ms. Yang.
“No, Aiden. Anything we discuss here is confidential unless I believe you are in danger or are a danger to others.”
Good thing Dylan didn’t see a counselor.