Monday, Aiden was such a bundle of nerves worrying about how he’d ask Hanna out that he almost forgot about gym. His stomach tied in knots as he walked to the annex, and he hoped they’d do more targets today. He took longer than usual getting dressed and wondered if he might get sick.
This is dumb. You’re freaking out over nothing and making everything worse.
He took as long as he could getting dressed and was the last one out of the locker room. Walking into the gym, his hope was shattered. Dylan stood bouncing on his toes, waiting for Ms. Yang to pair him with someone. She called up the girl who had faced Aiden last time. Remembering how scared he’d been compounded his fear even more.
Aiden went to the farthest end of the bench, away from everyone else, and looked at the floor. Maybe the teacher wouldn’t call on him today. They often ran out of time on match days, and two or more kids wouldn’t get a turn. Dylan was the only one that always got a match because he was always first.
The match started; the roar of fire and the crackling sound of the girl’s magic echoed through the gym. Different colored flashes of light danced on the silver markings carved into the floor. The other kids cheered and shouted.
It wasn’t so bad as long as Aiden kept his eyes down and told himself the barrier would block everything. It was no more dangerous than watching something on TV. Several minutes passed before Ms. Yang called for an end to the match.
Dylan walked out toward the bench with a smile while the girl scowled.
“You got lucky,” she said.
“Whatever makes you feel better.”
It was so arrogant it almost made Aiden laugh. Then Ms. Yang called out the next names. “Izume and Aiden, you’re next.”
A wave of dizziness went through him. At least it wasn’t Dylan. And it wasn’t a stranger. He’d had matches with both the fox sisters several times near the end of last semester. He had an idea of what to expect from them. Unfortunately, what he could expect was fire.
You have to try. You can’t fail gym, and you have to get over this. The class is a requirement for graduation. You can’t leave if you don’t graduate. The fear of failure overpowered his fear of magical combat. He passed Dylan and his friend gave him a high five. Aiden managed to force a smile, but it must have looked weak.
His legs felt like rubber as he walked out to the middle of the gym floor. Izume gave him a curious look as she took her place opposite him.
“Ready?” Ms. Yang asked. She looked between them and lingered a moment on Aiden.
He nodded. He wasn’t remotely ready. He just wanted this over with. The spot on his chest tingled and he fought an urge to rub at it.
“One, two, three… go!”
Aiden sucked in a breath. Shield, shield, shield. He summoned one as red-orange fire streaked through the air. Panic made his heart race and it took all the focus he could gather to keep the shield up. The fire hit and his vision filled with it. The curved, invisible barrier of his magic was the only thing between him and the roaring flames.
Little spots danced in his eyes. His breathing became a pant. It had only been a second, Dylan’s fire rushing toward him. Light, heat, and then pain.
The fire disappeared, and he knew she was moving for her next attack. Aiden couldn’t stay up anymore. He fell to his knees, hands out in front of him. “Stop, stop! I can’t.” It took all the energy he had left not to cry.
“Izume, stop.” Ms. Yang’s voice echoed, a bit of magic added to her command.
Everything around him turned blurry and he couldn’t get enough air. Arms went around him and someone picked him up like he was a little child. They carried him, he didn’t know how far. Distantly, he heard Dylan asking if he was okay.
“Dylan, go get Mr. Blackwell next door and tell him to take over my class.” Ms. Yang’s voice was close to his head.
His ears were ringing. Am I fainting? Did I just faint in class?
“Aiden?” Ms. Yang again, calm but insistent. “Aiden, can you hear me? I need you to breathe. Deep breath in, slow breath out. Put your head between your knees.”
His vision focused, black sparkles dancing around the edges of his eyes. Ms. Yang’s hand was on his back, pushing gently. He leaned forward, head between his legs. The floor was white, no designs on it. He wasn’t in the gym anymore.
Aiden focused on her instructions, his breath slowing. A chill went through him. He’d broken out in sweat and now it was cooling. He lifted his head, just enough to see her face as she knelt on the floor beside him.
“Feeling a little better?” she asked.
He nodded, the motion sending a flicker of dizziness through his head. The ringing in his ears faded as the world grew sharp.
“I think you had a panic attack.”
“Oh.” So that’s what that was.
“When you feel like you can, lean back against the wall. Keep resting for a few more minutes.”
He shifted slowly until his back touched the wall and he hugged his knees. “I’m so embarrassed.”
“Don’t be. Sometimes the body takes over and does things we can’t fight.” She studied him. “Do you have any idea what might have caused this?”
He looked back down at the floor. He couldn’t tell her. Couldn’t tell anyone. Fainting in class was bad enough, but he couldn’t get Dylan in trouble.
“Aiden, I want to help you, but I can’t do much if I don’t know what’s wrong.”
He licked his dry lips. Maybe there was a way to explain it without bringing up Morgan and the portal and all that. Dylan burning him had been an accident. Did it matter how the accident had happened? “Dylan…” He swallowed. Lying was hard, but at least he could consider this a half-truth. “He helps me with my magic. We practice together after school and stuff. A few weeks ago he… accidentally burned me. It wasn’t that bad, but ever since then I’ve been afraid of strong magic, especially fire.”
She pressed her lips together. “Are you sure it was an accident?”
Aiden sat up straighter. “He would never hurt me deliberately.” He had no doubt about that.
Ms. Yang nodded, her expression still thoughtful. “Do you think you can stand up?” She stood and offered a hand.
He took a deep breath. He felt almost normal again. “Yeah.” He took her hand and she helped him get up enough to move to an office chair.
“You’re going to have to find a way to get through this fear. You need to control your magic, and you can’t do that unless you use it. The school has a good counselor— I suggest you see him as soon as possible. Today, if you can. I’ll write you a referral.” Opening a drawer, she took out a piece of paper and started writing.
Aiden felt trapped. If he talked to a counselor, he might let something slip, but if he didn’t, he’d keep panicking in gym and fail. Not to mention embarrass himself even more. Aiden groaned, imagining the sophomores laughing at him. “Why did you put me in this class?”
Still writing, she said, “Because you’ve outgrown the beginner class.” She tore off the sheet and handed it to him. “Get this sorted out. I’ll have you sit out matches until Mr. Emery says you’re ready.”
For a brief moment, he’d hoped she would put him back with the freshmen. “Okay.” He took the note and got to his feet.
“Now I’m going to take you to the nurse.”
“The nurse? But I feel fine.”
“Better to be safe.”
At least she let him walk without support. The other teacher had brought out the targets. Aiden refused to look at anyone as he passed through the gym. Not even Dylan.