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Maeve pushed her glasses back up her nose and blinked at the computer screen. “Well, that can’t be right.” She ran the numbers again and relaxed the tension in her shoulders. “Better.”
She’d been a bit distracted lately and was just now catching up on the books for the cafe, which had been woefully neglected. Never in a million years would Maeve have guessed that she would be so caught up in a man that she would neglect her job. And not just any man...Ethan.
She smiled to herself as she continued filling in boxes and making sure everything was up to snuff. She should have done this last week, just to make sure they were completely ready to take on the expense of an employee at the front counter and because they were about ready to break ground for the addition to the house.
It was going to be fairly simple. A single room added onto the side of the house nearest the kitchen, but it would go a long way to helping her dad be able to navigate the house better. He still insisted on working the stairs most of the time himself, but it worried Maeve. He shook intensely most of the time and sometimes his foot could barely manage to lift high enough to go up a step. She was positive that he was going to trip and come crashing down, ending up in the hospital.
And Maeve wasn’t the only one worrying. She had seen her mother, more than once, simply staring into space with teary eyes. And Estelle seemed less vibrant than usual, bringing a solemnity to the Harrison household that kept pushing into the edges of Maeve’s happiness.
She felt guilty that one part of her life was so wonderful, yet another part was so hard. What was a daughter to do? It had taken her so long to be able to push aside her grudge and hard feelings toward Ethan that Maeve didn’t want to do anything that might mess it all up.
Yet, how could she keep allowing herself to fall further and further in love, when her family was falling further and further into despair?
Maeve leaned back in her seat and pushed her glasses to her head. In a sudden moment of frustration, she tore them off her head and looked at the frames. The pieces of plastic in them held no prescription, but had been sitting on Maeve’s nose for a lot of years.
She held onto an ear piece and twisted them back and forth. They had been something safe, something comfortable...and right now Maeve found herself tired of comfortable. Ethan had brought up a good question the other night when he’d asked if she would ever consider trying surfing again.
Logically, she knew hundreds of people who surfed every day and were just fine. But the thought still sent a tremor of fear down her spine.
“I’ve been letting fear control me for eight years,” she whispered to herself. The words tasted...acidic. She hated saying it out loud since it forced her to admit that she was a coward.
Her fingers tightened on the frames. “But no more.” She slowly shook her head, determination driving out the fear skittering down her spine. “No. More.”
Taking a deep breath, Maeve opened a drawer and shoved the glasses inside, then changed her mind. Taking the glasses in hand once more, she stood and walked to the garbage beside the door. Sticking her nose in the air, she allowed her fingers to open, the glasses landing with a plink inside the liner. “No more,” she repeated once more to herself.
Sitting back at the desk, Maeve allowed herself to still for a moment. She felt...freer. The longer she focused on the sensation, the more it grew until she felt as if she were floating above her seat.
The last few weeks with Ethan had been slowly building cracks in her carefully built life. The one that kept her safe, from never venturing out or trying something new. The one that kept the man she loved at bay so that she didn’t have to face the fears and loss of trust that had hurt her teenage feelings so intensely.
The one that kept her from truly living.
Grabbing a pad of paper and a stubby pencil, Maeve began to write a list.
Swim in the Atlantic Ocean.
She nodded. There. She’d spent her entire life in Oregon and she had always, secretly wanted to see more.
Visit Italy.
Her father’s family was there and yet Maeve had never gone. Her relatives had always come to the United States instead of the other way around, until a few months ago when Dad and Mom went so they could see those who were unable to travel.
Try sushi.
Maeve’s nose wrinkled even as she wrote it. She loved seafood...as long as it was cooked. But she’d never had the guts to try it raw before, though she had a few friends who thought it was okay. But the new Maeve, the one who was going to live life to the fullest, was going to be brave enough to try. Even if the thought made her want to throw up.
Kiss Ethan on the beach at sunset.
Okay...that one wouldn’t be that hard. But she really, really enjoyed his kisses and there just seemed to be something so romantic about a sunset on the sand with the waves crashing nearby.
Maeve shifted the pencil in her fingers, the tension in her shoulders tightening again. With very deliberate movements, she forced her hand back to the page.
Learn to surf.
Her heart rate sped up and a light sheen of sweat cooled the back of Maeve’s neck. She shook her head, trying to clear all the cobwebs from her head. “No fear,” she reminded herself. “No. Fear.” The words were ground out through a clenched jaw, but Maeve continued chanting them. “No fear, no fear, no fear.”
Gradually, the sensation began to change. Her skin grew less flushed and the bile in her throat retreated. Closing her eyes, Maeve slowed her breathing, which in turn slowed her heart. “No fear,” she whispered, the words much easier to say than before.
She wasn’t a scared little girl. She was a grown woman. A woman in love. A woman helping a disabled father. A woman who ran her own accounting business. There was nothing about surfing that she couldn’t accomplish. She might never be good at it. She might never manage to go more than a few feet before falling off. But she refused to let it continue to have control over her.
Maeve let her pencil drop and leaned back in her seat feeling like she had already won. She could do this. If she could overcome her fears about Ethan, she could do the same for surfing. And then she’d truly be free.
Grabbing her phone, Maeve held back a squeal of excitement. She couldn’t wait to share her decision with Ethan. He would be so proud of her.
Want to have dinner with me tonight? I’ve got something to celebrate.
Maeve chewed the inside of her cheek while she waited impatiently for a reply, her fingers dancing a frantic rhythm on the desktop. When her phone finally chimed, she grabbed the device.
There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.
*****
ETHAN GRUMBLED AS HE grabbed his keys, Tox’s kennel and rushed out the door. He’d forgotten the time and was now running late...again...for dinner with Maeve. He just couldn’t seem to get his head out of working on Ollie’s surfboard. Ethan was so determined that this be the best board he’d ever made that his entire day was spent planning and creating.
He was about ready to start the cutting process and was already feeling the pinch of time. It had taken him so long to decide on a design that now he was a few days behind where he wanted to be. Ethan knew that was nothing to be worried about. A couple of days was fine. But he couldn’t seem to help but be anxious. His entire business, therefore his future with Maeve, was dependent on this sale. It was the exact miracle he had been hoping for and Ethan was determined to take advantage of it.
“Hey, babe,” Ethan said into his phone as he pulled away from the shop. “I’m on my way. Did you have a restaurant in mind tonight?”
“I thought we could grab takeout from the cafe and walk down the beach,” Maeve said, her voice slightly high on the phone speaker.
“That sounds perfect. I need to drop Tox off at the house and then I’ll come get you.”
“Bring him by the house,” Maeve insisted. “My parents would love to dog sit for the evening.”
“Are you sure? I don’t want to add to your mom’s stress.”
“Yep. Dad has been asking when you’d bring him by again anyway.”
“Great. I’ll do that. Be there in five.” He shut off the phone and put his full focus back on the road. “Okay, bud. You’ve got a fun evening set up. You want to see Tony? Mama Em?”
A thumping of Tox’s tail against the side of the kennel was his only answer.
True to his word, it only took about five minutes to pull into the Harrison driveway. Ethan grabbed the kennel and hurried out of the car. The front door opened before he could knock and Maeve stood there, looking like an angel, her smile wide. “Hey, handsome!” she said cheerily.
Ethan stepped up and stole a short but fierce kiss. He just couldn’t help himself. It was just so amazing to have her smiling at him and welcoming his company. He still struggled to believe this was his life now. “Hey, gorgeous.”
Maeve laughed softly and tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear.
Ethan reached up and untucked the hair, twisting it around his finger. “Your hair looks nice.” She didn’t wear it down very often and Ethan loved it. Her hair was heavy and soft and felt great between his fingers.
Her cheeks flushed. “Thanks,” she whispered, those brown eyes looking at him adoringly.
It was a look that Ethan wanted in his life forever. The surfboard, he reminded himself. Get that surfboard right and you’ll be able to have everything you want. His hand shook when Tox yipped and Ethan was pulled out of his musings and he set the kennel on the floor.
“Hey, sweetie,” Maeve cooed, bending down and opening the door. She laughed when Tox came out, his whole body twitching with excitement as he licked and sniffed everything in sight. “You’re acting like you haven’t been here before, silly,” Maeve said. She stood and patted her thigh. “Come on. Dad’s waiting for you.”
They ushered the puppy into the sitting room where Tony was sitting on a couch, reading a book. “Is he here?” Tony asked, setting the book to the side.
Ethan tried not to notice how much the book had been shaking when it hit the couch. “Lonely, Tony? I thought you’d figured out how to keep your wife at your side.”
Tony laughed. He patted his knees, trying to get Tox’s attention. “She decided the grocery store was more interesting.” He gave a dramatic sigh. “Guess even a man can’t keep up with a place with endless amounts of ice cream.”
Ethan grinned. He scooped up Tox and walked over to plop him in Tony’s lap. “I hate to break it to you, but the right treat would probably pull Tox away as well. He doesn’t seem to be a respecter of persons.”
Tony shook his head. “No loyalty anymore.” He eyed Maeve. “Even among daughters. She’s ditching me tonight for a date and the beach.”
Maeve rolled her eyes and put her hands on her hips. “So needy,” she teased.
Ethan made a face. “She is, huh?” He rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah...I’m not sure what kind of daughter you raised, Tony, but that’s just wrong. Isn’t it her job to—” He chuckled when Maeve punched his arm. “Ouch!” he teased. “Now she’s beating me up! What kind of rules did you have in this house when you were a kid?”
Tony tsked his tongue. “It’s not my fault! I blame her mother.”
“I heard that!” Mama Em shouted as she came in the garage door.
Tony leaned forward, careful not to squish Tox, who was enjoying his belly rub. “She’s got ears like a vampire,” he said in a mock whisper. “I can’t get away with anything.”
“Heard that too,” Mama Em said wryly. “And if you want dinner tonight, you’ll apologize.”
“Sorry!” Tony automatically shouted over his shoulder. He opened his eyes wide to Maeve and mouthed, Help me!
Maeve shook her head. “Good luck, Dad. You picked her first.”
“Have a good time tonight, sweetie,” Mama Em said as she walked over, giving Maeve a kiss on the cheek.
“What?” Tony cried in outrage. “She gets a kiss and I get threatened with starving to death? Where’s the love?”
Ethan couldn’t seem to stop grinning as he took Maeve’s hand. “And on that note, I think we better leave before World War III breaks out.”
“Good idea.” Maeve lengthened her stride and pulled him toward the front door. “Night!” she called back to her parents. She closed the door just as her parents called back. “Whew! We made it out alive.”
Ethan brought her hand to his mouth. “Come on. Let’s go get our food so I can have you all to myself for a while.” He loved how Maeve’s cheeks turned pink again and he led her to the car, opening her door and making sure she was settled.
Nearly an hour later, they pulled into a spot along the boardwalk, food containers nestled in Maeve’s lap and both of their stomachs growling. “Guess I should have called in our order,” she muttered, unbuckling her seat belt.
“It’s fine,” Ethan assured her, trying to hide his own frustration. He had hoped he might be able to have the time after dinner to keep working on that last little obstacle with the board. He just knew if he had a little more time, he could finally figure it out and the whole thing would flow beautifully. But the line for dinner had been too long and now he was feeling antsy.
Easy... he warned himself. It’ll be fine to let the board go tonight. The words felt hollow in his mind and his cynical side tried to argue back, but Ethan shut out the words. He hadn’t spent any time with Maeve today. He had always been really good at putting work aside and focusing on the present. He could do it again tonight. The board could wait...he hoped.