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Maeve tapped her fingernails against the desk. It had been two days since she’d seen Ethan. He’d texted a couple times and picked up Tox, but otherwise he’d claimed being too busy. Maeve had moved past the feeling depressed stage and was starting to get angry.
It wasn’t right for him to chase her so hard and then simply stop showing up. They’d said “I love you” and then never seen each other again. Weren’t couples supposed to celebrate that milestone? Even if it was only with a small kiss?
“No,” she whispered to herself. “That’s not fair. Give him the benefit of the doubt. He’s working on a big project.” Maeve shook her head. Keeping the fear and frustration at bay was getting harder each day. What was she supposed to do? Ignore it? Accuse him of ignoring her? Follow him to see if he was actually busy? All of the above?
“Hey, Little Mae,” Estelle said as she walked into the office. Sighing, Maeve’s older sister slumped down into a chair. “Geez, my feet are killing me today.”
“You’re too young for your feet to be killing you,” Maeve said wryly.
Estelle glared. “Don’t tell me what my body knows.”
Maeve grinned. “Well, you obviously can’t read the signs, so someone has to.”
“You’ve been spending too much time with Ethan.” Estelle groaned. “His sarcasm is rubbing off on you.”
“I wish,” Maeve muttered, turning away from her sister.
“What was that?”
Maeve shook her head, keeping her attention on the computer screen. She wasn’t actually reading anything there, but she didn’t want Estelle to read anything on her face either. Maeve knew full well she had a terrible poker face.
“Spill it, little sis,” Estelle said sharply. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” Maeve argued. “Why do you think anything would be wrong?”
“Because you’re avoiding eye contact and you aren’t gushing over Ethan.”
Now it was Maeve’s turn to glare. “I don’t gush.”
Estelle smirked, one perfectly shaped eyebrow arching high. “Until lately.”
Maeve pinched her lips.
Estelle continued to study her sister, her head tilting to the side. “Do you love him?”
Maeve sat still. She wasn’t sure how to answer. Did she love Ethan? Yes. But she was also upset at him. Not to mention hurt that he seemed to be ignoring her. And worried that he had changed his mind.
Estelle’s expression softened. “Did you break up?”
Maeve shook her head, though the movement was stiff and jerky. “No.”
“But...?”
Maeve shrugged. “But things are complicated right now.”
“Then it’s a good thing I’ve got Anna running the front at the moment.”
Maeve huffed. “I’m not spilling my heart to you again, Stell.”
“Why not?” Estelle spread her hands to the side. “I’m your sister and we’ve got a few minutes before I need to go back to work.”
Maeve made a face. “Isn’t there supposed to be chocolate and a sappy movie playing before anyone has a discussion like this?”
“You hate sappy movies,” Estelle pointed out. “And you prefer fruity desserts over chocolate.”
Maeve plastered on a triumphant grin. “Then it looks like our sister to sister chat can’t happen.”
“Mae...” Estelle pressed. “What’s going on? You’ve looked down for several days now.”
Maeve slumped in her seat. “I don’t think I want to talk about it.”
“But you’ll feel better if you do.”
“Who made you my mother?”
Estelle grinned. “You did when you first started using me as a confidant.”
“I was an idiot,” Maeve grumbled.
“Come on. Let’s get this figured out.”
Estelle looked so earnest and Maeve’s defenses were crumbling. Would it hurt to talk to Estelle? It wasn’t like Estelle didn’t understand most of what was going on. It was the newest problems that Maeve had kept hidden.
“Mae,” Estelle said softly. “Come on. I’m here.”
Maeve nodded. “You’re right. I just...gah!” She pushed her hands through her hair. “I’m not sure how to handle the situation. I feel like I’m between a rock and a hard place.” The next twenty mintues were spent hashing over everything that had happened. Ethan’s attention, Ethan declaring his love, Ethan leaving their dates early, Ethan not answering her texts, and finally Ethan going MIA for several days in a row. By the time she’d finished it all, Maeve felt exhausted and she leaned her head back against her chair. “Well?”
Estelle’s lips were pursed. “I can see how that would all be frustrating.”
Maeve nodded. “Yep.”
“And honestly, I don’t think your anger is unfounded...but...”
Maeve raised her eyebrows. “But?”
Estelle shrugged. “But I find it odd that you haven’t simply asked Ethan about it. You’re a black and white type of gal. If you don’t understand, why not just ask?”
Maeve sat still for a moment. Why hadn’t she bothered to ask? It was a simple enough question, but the answer seemed more complicated. “Because I’m afraid of the answer,” she said softly.
Estelle gave her a sympathetic look. “And I get that as well. But wouldn’t it be better to know and eventually move on than to wonder and be miserable?”
Maeve closed her eyes. “Why does it all have to hurt so much?” Maeve could hear Estelle rise from her chair and walk across the floor. She opened her eyes to see her older sister squatting down next to the chair.
Estelle grabbed Maeve’s hand. “Matters of the heart always carry the possibility for hurt because they also carry the possibility for joy. You can’t have one without the other. If Ethan has lost interest, we’ll all mourn with you. You’re not alone. But if he simply has something else taking up his time, then at least you’ll have a chance to be patient and not lose one of the best things to ever happen to you.”
Maeve huffed a laugh. “One of the best things, huh? What makes you say that?”
“The fact that I’ve seen you smile and laugh more in the few weeks you’ve been together than I’ve seen you do those things the rest of your life.” Estelle leaned in. “He’s helping you learn to live, Mae. Don’t throw that away until you really understand what’s going on.”
The words were like a sledgehammer to her chest. How did Estelle know that Maeve was trying to learn how to truly live? To experience life at its fullest? No one in her family knew about her Life List. Maeve had only shared it with Ethan.
The realization made her pause. Why had she told Ethan, but no one else? She took a moment to ponder. She had wanted to share that part of herself with him, something no one else knew. She wanted that kind of connection that only came from two devoted people who clung to each other and gave everything.
And that kind of connection is worth fighting for.
Maeve nodded, then leaned forward and hugged her sister. “Thanks, Stell. You’re amazing.”
Estelle laughed and hugged her back. “Not yet. But I’m working on it.”
Maeve leaned back with a smile. “I can’t wait to meet the guy who eventually catches your eye. He’s going to be pretty incredible as well.”
Estelle cleared her throat and stood up. “You and me both, sista.” She smiled, though Maeve could tell it was tight. “Let me know how it goes.” Without another word, Estelle slipped out.
Choosing not to examine why Estelle had acted a little off for the last few seconds, Maeve grabbed her phone and keys and headed to her car. She needed to talk to Ethan, and she needed to do it now.
*****
ETHAN’S EYES WERE STINGING so badly, he was sure someone was poking needles in when he wasn’t looking. Squeezing them tight, he rubbed his fingers over his eyelids, trying to bring a little moisture to the area. He’d been working nonstop and it was getting difficult to keep going.
Tox had been his only companion, save a few texts from Maeve, and Ethan was starting to feel the separation. He couldn’t wait for the opportunity to go surfing with her on Saturday. He was working on timing things just right so that the board would be curing that morning, leaving him completely free to surf without restraint.
Opening his eyes, he smoothed his hand over the board. It was coming along wonderfully and he was excited to be able to share it with Ollie next week. The hope that everything would work out was within his reach and Ethan clung to it like a fisherman with the catch of the year. He’d finish the board, get it sent off, then have Maeve all to himself.
“But first...” he muttered. “I gotta get through these next couple of days.”
The bell on the front of the shop rang and Ethan groaned. With the end of the season so close, his shop had been slow and it had been a blessing, since it allowed him more time to work on the board. Each interruption was a curse...and a blessing.
Walking to the front of the shop, he stopped short. “Maeve!” Holding out his arms, Ethan walked forward. He hadn’t seen her for several days and was missing their time together. Just a few more days, he reminded himself. A little sacrifice now would mean he’d have an entire lifetime with her later.
“Hey, Eeks,” she said softly, allowing him to pull her in for a hug.
Ethan noticed immediately that she was stiffer than normal and he frowned. “Is something wrong?” A sudden thought hit. “Is it your dad? Is Tony okay?”
Maeve pulled away from his hold. “Yeah. Dad’s fine...well, as fine as he can be.” She took in a long breath. “I, uh...need to talk to you about something.”
The frown didn’t leave Ethan’s face, though the worries about Tony subsided. Something was still wrong and he was struggling to feel like he had the mental capacity to handle it. How many things could go wrong in one week? He was already losing precious time working on the board by talking to her at all. Couldn’t this wait until they were surfing tomorrow? “Okay...”
Maeve looked around the quiet shop. “Do you want to talk out here? Or take it in the back?”
Ethan rubbed the back of his suddenly hot neck. “There’s no one here but us and Tox.” He made a face. “Who’s probably chewing something to smithereens at the moment.”
She gave him a smile. “Okay, well...I need to know if you still care for me.”
Ethan was stunned. Did he still care for her? How could she not know he cared for her? Hadn’t he told her he loved her? Hadn’t he been showing her his love as he sacrificed sleep and time to get this board up to snuff so he could save his business and build a future for them? He folded his arms over his chest, feeling more than a little defensive. “You’re really asking me that?”
Maeve threw her arms out to the side, the quietness she’d entered with obviously gone. “Yeah, I’m asking,” she snapped. “Why else would I be here?”
“I don’t know,” Ethan snapped back. “I actually can’t believe you’re here at all. How can you question how I feel about you? Everything I’ve done has been for you.”
Her eyes widened and her jaw dropped. “Everything has been for me? Are you serious?”
He took a step back at the accusation in her words. “Yes, I’m serious.” Maybe he was tired, maybe he was overworked and overstressed, or maybe he was just plain in a bad mood, but without warning all the anger and frustration he’d felt over Maeve’s treatment of him from that stupid teenage mistake came rushing back and straight out of his mouth. “Why can’t you just trust me?” he demanded. “All these years, you’ve held one little mistake against me. Eight years, Mae! Eight years I’ve been punished for being a teenager and I’m tired of it. I thought we were past this. I thought you had changed and wanted to support what I was doing.”
Her olive toned skin continued to flush bright red the longer he talked, but it didn’t phase Ethan.
“I know I haven’t been around as much lately, but I’m working. I’m trying to save my business and secure our—” He cut himself off. He wasn’t ready to talk marriage with her yet. Their relationship was too new, even if he was thinking about it. “Why can’t you just trust me?”
Maeve’s jaw was clenched. “It’s a little hard to trust when you spend those eight years I held against you trying to break down my barriers and as soon as I open up, you disappear. Was it all just a game to you?” she cried. “Once you got what you wanted, you split?”
“You’ve got to be kidding,” Ethan muttered. He stepped back, putting some distance between them. “That’s really what you think of me? That I’m some playboy, out for only one thing?”
Maeve wiped at her wet cheeks. “I don’t know what to think, Ethan. I thought things were good between us, but then...” She shrugged and put her hands on her hips. “Then you just quit answering my texts and you don’t come over anymore. I haven’t seen you in two days.” She blew out a breath. “I came over here to give you the benefit of the doubt and try to talk it out.” A harsh laugh burst through her lips. “Turns out that was a great idea.”
The pain in Ethan’s chest was still pulsing. He was doing all this for her. All of it. The lack of sleep, the tired, burning eyes, the skipping of meals. And instead of being grateful, she was accusing him of playing her. He shook his head. “I don’t know what to think either.”
Maeve huffed. “You don’t have any explanation for it? Why’ve you been so busy?”
“I’ve been working on the board.”
“Okay...” Maeve paused, as if to let him offer more insight. “It’s one surfboard. How is it that it’s taking up so much of your time?”
She didn’t get it. She simply didn’t get it. All this time Ethan was sure that she understood and was supporting him in his work. He had hoped she had similar dreams to him of turning his business into something full time that could support a family, but it turned out she didn’t understand at all.
And I’m not in the right frame of mind to explain it to her.
If she didn’t view him as marriage material, then he would simply have to show her. And that meant doing exactly what he’d already been doing. Once the board was off and his business showed the results, he’d be able to present himself as something worthwhile and someone she could trust.
“I don’t have time for this conversation right now,” he said bluntly. Pushing a hand through his hair, he turned when he heard a crash in the back. Dang dog. Even the puppy was driving him crazy today. “Look, I gotta go see what Tox has messed up and then I need to get back to work. Just...” He tried to find the right words. “Just hang tight and we can discuss this soon. Maybe when we’re both in better moods, huh?”
Maeve just stood there, staring at him.
Ethan raised his eyebrows. “So, I’ll see you in the morning?” Another crash came from the back. “Crap,” he muttered. Stepping forward, he kissed Maeve’s forehead. “Just give me a little more time, okay? We’ll get this figured out.”
Not waiting to see what she did, Ethan rushed to the store room. He needed to take care of the pup and then get back to work, especially if he was taking the morning off. If the coating wasn’t done at just the right time, it would throw everything off and he wouldn’t be able to go in the morning. And it sounded like he needed to go. He needed to show Maeve that he was sincere and worthwhile. That he was worth giving her heart to.