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Maeve finished putting the last of her numbers into the spreadsheet, then leaned back with a sigh. She wanted to bang her head against the desk, but considering the bruising that was already there, it would do far more harm than good.
Something had to give. She’d been dragging herself around for a week since the latest surfing incident and she knew she was getting on her family’s nerves. She was getting on her own nerves! But she didn’t know how to break free of the depression that had enveloped her.
It was like life had lost its color. For the first time ever, Maeve hated going to work. She didn’t want to be in the office. She didn’t want to be stuck behind a computer. And even the joy of how well the numbers came together meant nothing to her. She’d been spending enough time alone that at some point, she’d begun naming the dust bunnies in the corner of the office.
She felt like a volcano ready to erupt and knew that if she didn’t snap out of it soon, she’d do something stupid.
Yeah...like go crawling back to Ethan. The man who hasn’t bothered to call or text or apologize!
“That’s it.” Slamming her laptop shut, she stuffed all her things in her bag, grabbed her keys and headed out. Aspen was singing and dancing while she worked on her latest creations and it made it easy for Maeve to disappear out the back door with no one being the wiser.
The wind was whipping today and she pulled her jacket closer around her body, trying to shield it, but the cold seemed to go straight through the fabric. Fall was truly here and she was going to have to pull out the winter clothes.
The thought of a long, gray winter only made Maeve more depressed. She didn’t want endless cold and wet. She wanted sunshine and happiness. Two things that seemed completely out of reach in her life.
The ride home was short, but Maeve was still ready to be out of the car by the time she got there. Maybe she would get a heavier coat and take a walk on the beach. Anything that might help her shake the incessant dreariness that was following her every footstep.
“Who’s home?” her mother called when she came in the front door.
“It’s me, Mom,” Maeve answered.
Mom came out from the kitchen, wiping her hands on a towel. “What brings you home so early?”
“I finished,” Maeve said bluntly.
Mom put her hands on her hips. “When are you going to forgive that boy and move on?”
Maeve rolled her eyes. The last thing she needed was to hear another lecture from her mother. “He’s not a boy, Mom.” It was the only thing she could think to say that wouldn’t get her in trouble. Every single person in her family was on Ethan’s side and it was ticking Maeve off. When was she going to be important enough to care about?
Ethan cared more about his surfboards and everyone else cared more about Ethan. She was the one who had been hurt! Twice! But no one cared about her side of the story. They all just thought she was holding onto a grudge and it wasn’t fair.
“Little Mae?” her father called out. “Why don’t you come sit with me.”
Maeve pressed her lips together. “I thought I might take a walk.”
There was a creaking sound and her dad shuffled into the front entry room. “I’ll go with you.”
“No...Dad, you don’t have to do that,” Maeve argued. She knew her father wouldn’t handle a walk well. At least not a long one. Plus, she didn’t want to keep discussing the situation with Ethan.
“I know I don’t have to,” he said with a grin. “I want to.”
Hammering rang through the house, shaking the walls a little. Maeve hadn’t even been paying attention to the construction going on, she was so focused on how angry she was.
“I need a break from the noise,” her dad continued.
“Anthony,” Mom said softly. “I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”
Dad kissed Mom’s cheek. “We’ll be back soon.” He turned to his daughter. “How’s the weather out there?”
“Cold.”
“Good. It’ll get the heart pumping.” Heading toward the front closet, he pulled out a coat and offered it to Maeve before getting his own.
Maeve didn’t know what to say, so she followed along, pouting but compliant.
“You be careful with him,” Mom whispered, grabbing Maeve’s arm.
Maeve nodded. She knew exactly what her mother meant, but the pain of watching her strong dad breaking down was more than her fragile emotions could handle at the moment. “We won’t go far.”
“Thank you.” Mom kissed her cheek and went back to the kitchen.
Maeve walked beside her father, her hands stuffed in her pockets to stay warm, as they worked their way down the sidewalk. She wasn’t going to be the first one to break the silence. If he wanted to talk, he’d have to take charge.
Unfortunately, her father had never been one to back down from a hard issue.
“Do you love him?”
“Dad...”
“It’s a simple question, Little Mae.”
Maeve sighed. “It doesn’t matter if I love him. I can’t trust him.”
“Because he wasn’t there to save you.”
She kicked at a rock, but didn’t answer.
“Well, if you’re kicking liars out of your life, are you going to stop talking to me as well?”
Maeve’s head jerked in his direction. “What are you talking about?”
“When you had strep throat as a child, I told you the medicine tasted like candy.”
Maeve chuckled. “I hardly think that counts, Dad.”
“And when you did your hair for the first time as a teenager, I told you it looked just like the woman in the magazine you were trying to copy.” He leaned over. “Spoiler alert...it didn’t.”
Maeve huffed. “It’s not the same.”
Dad stopped walking and Maeve had to turn to face him. “I also promised you that I would be around to walk you down the aisle and teach your children how to mold chocolate into shapes.”
The words fell like an atomic bomb between them. They hurt. Far worse than the cut on Maeve’s forehead, and yet she had no way to argue. He had promised those things, and yet life had a funny way of changing things. The odds of him having that opportunity were growing slimmer every day and it was slowly eating the Harrison family alive.
“He’s human, Little Mae,” her dad whispered. “He’s good and strong and yet he’s flawed. He made those promises with every intention of keeping them, but fate had other plans.” He stepped forward, bringing them toe to toe. Using his knuckle, he raised her chin until she met his eyes. “Despite what I said when you were younger, I won’t always be here and there’s no one else I would trust with your heart than Ethan Markle. A man who will love a woman from a distance, for as long as he has, is worth fighting for.”
Maeve’s eyes were filled with tears. She’d cried more than her fair share in the last week. “He hurt me,” she whispered thickly.
Dad nodded. “And you hurt him. I’m hurting my whole family, including the woman I pledged my life to and yet no one has cast me aside.”
Maeve stepped back and wiped at her eyes. “No one blames you.”
“Ethan messed up, Mae. I’m not condoning what he did, but if what you’ve told us is the truth, then he had good intentions, but terrible execution. We’re all learning as we go, don’t blame him for needing a few lessons now and then.”
Maeve didn’t have a response for that. Her father turned back toward the house.
“I think we earned some hot chocolate, huh?”
She laughed softly, despite the tears and pain. “Don’t you ever get tired of chocolate?”
Reaching out, he took his daughter’s hand, cradling it with shaking fingers as he led her back. “Not yet, though there might come that day. But one thing I’ll never get tired of or regret is spending time with those I love. They will always be my greatest source of joy.”
*****
ETHAN SAT AT HIS DESK, staring at the blank computer screen. It had gone to sleep several minutes before and he hadn’t bothered to wake it back up. He knew what he would see. Surfing competition updates that would let him keep track of how Ollie was doing.
The kid was proving his worth and apparently Ethan’s board wasn’t too shabby either, since every single interviewer had asked about the unique design.
Ethan knew he was watching the very beginnings of his dreams come true. Within the next few days, he’d be able to see his website hits and social media views skyrocket.
And yet I’m sitting here feeling sorry for myself.
He looked around his office, noting all the awards and pictures he’d surrounded himself by. At one point in his life, he’d been proud of those accomplishments. They were the reason he’d started his surfing business. He loved it. He loved everything about it. He’d spent his youth learning how to surf and his adulthood teaching others. He should, by all accounts, be elated.
So why did he feel dead inside? Why was his mind on the one thing that slipped through his fingers, rather than the thousand things that already had or were about to go right?
Someone knocked on the front door of the shop and Ethan forced himself to stand up. He had officially closed for the season, but every once in a while, someone would drop by for a particular item.
Michael, Maeve’s cousin, was standing outside the glass door, peering in. “Ethan? You in there?” he shouted.
Ethan paused in the shadows. Michael didn’t surf. He definitely wasn’t there to grab some more wax or to repair an ankle strap.
Michael pounded again. “Ethan?”
Tox came snuffling up to Ethan’s feet. Upon seeing Michael, he barked, racing toward the glass.
“Guess the cat’s out of the bag now.” Ethan pushed his feet into action. He waved when Michael spotted him, and unlocked the door. “Michael,” Ethan said by way of greeting.
“Hey, thanks for letting me in,” Michael said, rubbing his arms. He was wearing a long sleeved, button down dress shirt and it did little to combat the cool fall breeze of the ocean.
“Of course.” Ethan stepped back and put his hands on his hips. “What’s up?”
Michael took a deep breath, paused, then took another breath.
Ethan rolled his eyes. “Did Maeve send you?”
“Are you kidding? She’d kill me if she knew I was here.”
“Then why did you come?” Ethan narrowed his eyes as a thought came to mind. “You’ve been talking to Gavin.” Like Ethan, Michael and Gavin had both grown up in Seagull Cove and had been friends for a long time. This was the problem with a large group of friends...they always passed news down the grapevine.
Michael shrugged. “I heard a few things.”
Shaking his head, Ethan turned and walked away.
“Hey, wait up.”
Tox growled and Ethan glanced back to see Michael glaring at the dog. “Watch out,” Ethan joked. “He bites.”
“I’ll bet he does,” Michael muttered before following Ethan to the back.
“Should I be expecting a cousin beat-down?” Ethan asked as he flung himself into his seat. “Since Antonio isn’t here, you’re going to beat me up instead?”
Michael chuckled and took the seat across the desk. “Yeah...I think we both know that’s not happening.” Michael’s lean, runner-style build was quite a bit different from Ethan’s broader muscles. While neither of them could compete with Mason or Gavin, Michael definitely wasn’t built to take on Ethan’s athletic frame.
Ethan shrugged. “With the way I’m feeling, I might just let you do it.”
Michael tapped his fingers on the arm of his chair.
“Why are you looking at me like I’m one of your students?” Ethan asked.
Michael shook his head. “I’m just trying to understand what’s going on in that hard noggin of yours.”
“Noggin? Really?”
Michael grinned. “Sorry. A hazard of the job.”
Ethan snorted. “Well, very little is going on in this noggin, as you put it. It’s too full of misery and despair.” He raised an eyebrow. “How was that?”
“Not bad. Let’s write it down and I’ll add it to next year’s curriculum.”
That made Ethan grin. It had been a long time since he’d done that and it felt sort of foreign. “What do you want from me, Michael?”
“Nothing,” Michael assured him. “I want to see if I can help.”
“How would you help?” Ethan asked. “Your cousin hates my guts.”
“And why is that?”
Ethan huffed. “You know why. I let her down...again.” He shoved his finger toward the back workspace. “I spent every waking minute, and more than a few of the ones that I should have been sleeping, trying to build a surfboard for a client that would change the course of this shop. And do you know why?”
Michael waited patiently.
“Because with every moment of sleep I lost, every bite of food I didn’t take, every minute I didn’t get to hold Maeve, I told myself it would be worth it. It would be worth it because when all was said and done, that board was going to be the jumping point for this shop and never again would I be barely paying the bills. I couldn't afford to barely pay the bills because my hope had been to take on the responsibility of another person.” He leaned back. “I was planning for our future,” he said hoarsely. “And when all that sacrifice caught up to me, Maeve threw me to the sharks.”
Michael still didn’t say anything and Ethan began to feel that anger he’d been struggling with for the week build again. “Well?” he demanded. “Aren’t you going to tell me how stupid I was? How I shouldn’t have put the shop before Maeve? How I shouldn't have pinned everything on one single moment in time?”
“Why?” Michael asked. “It seems like you’re already doing that yourself.”
Ethan blew out a disgusted huff.
“Did your client like the board?”
Ethan frowned. What was Michael getting at? Why wasn’t he lecturing or trying to convince Ethan of how stupid he’d been? “Yeah. He’s using it in the Ventura Open today.”
“And how’s he doing?”
“Good.”
Michael nodded. “Glad to hear it. So, I’m guessing that’ll mean more business for you.”
Ethan shrugged. “By all accounts...yeah.”
Michael smiled. “Congrats! Maybe this means you can finally stop strapping on a construction hat during the cold months.”
Ethan didn’t respond. He still couldn’t figure out what Michael was trying to do.
Michael slapped his arm rests. “Well, I better get back. School got out early today, but I have a huge stack of papers to grade this weekend.”
“I don’t get it,” Ethan muttered.
Michael paused at the office door and raised his eyebrows.
“I don’t get why you came. You haven’t offered any condolences or arguments or advice or anything else.”
Michael hesitated and shifted his weight. “I guess I just wanted to see if you were the same.”
Ethan’s eyebrows furrowed. “The same?”
Michael nodded. “The same as Maeve. She’s just as defensive and miserable as you are, and while I’ve got some pretty good ideas about why you’re both acting so dramatically, the more I listen, the more I figure you probably need to come to the answer on your own.” He nodded. “See ya. Oh! And good luck with the board. I hope it works out exactly the way you wanted.”