Jess studied herself in the mirror. Despite heroic efforts, and using all her willpower to stick to her diet, she had only shifted a disappointing three kilos in weight. Her big tummy and plump thighs still stared at her as she tried to camouflage them with long floaty tops and cardigans and leggings. She had taken to walking to school some days, if the weather was in any way dry or good, but usually – faced with winter’s torrential rains and cold – opted for the safety and comfort of her own car. In the New Year she swore that she would join a gym, take up exercise and commit to a healthy eating plan, as thoughts of Amy’s wedding in June in Castle Gregory haunted her.
Second class was putting on a nativity play, and she was busy rehearsing with them day after day. The melodies of ‘Little Donkey’, ‘Silent Night’ and ‘We Three Kings’ were on a constant loop in her brain as she watched the children run through the play as Christmas grew closer.
For Dan’s birthday Amy had organized for a crowd to meet up for drinks in Taylor’s on Dame Street after work, and she’d insisted Jess come along, too.
‘You’ll never meet anyone sitting at home, Jess, or hanging out with seven- and eight-year-olds,’ Amy reasoned. ‘Dan has loads of nice friends, and a lot of them are single, too.’
Despite her better judgement, and the fact that she was exhausted from trying to construct a mini-Bethlehem for the play, Jess decided to give in to Amy’s inducements and go along. Looking at herself in the black trousers and black top with little buttons on the front she was glad that she had managed to limit herself to a Cup a Soup for lunch and only a bowl of tomato soup and three rye crackers for dinner.
Town was thronged with late-night Christmas shoppers and people making their way to work parties. The festive cheer got to Jess as she walked down Grafton Street and listened to a group of buskers belting out ‘White Christmas’. The shop fronts were decorated to entice cash-strapped shoppers inside their doors, offering Christmas bargains for all.
Taylor’s was busy, and Jess pushed her way through to find that Dan and Colm, Liam, Kev and a gang of his friends were right at the back, drinking. Despite the December cold, Dan was wearing a Musto T-shirt and faded denims, and he gave her a huge hug and a kiss the minute he saw her.
‘Hey, Jess, you look beautiful.’ He slurred his words, already a bit drunk. Jess knew that Amy had bought him some new surfing gear for his birthday – an amazing surf camera, new surfing boots and a thermal rash vest – which was to go with the new surfboard she was going to give him for Christmas. Amy was organized like that. All her Christmas presents were probably bought and sorted and wrapped already, while Jess still had no idea what to get most of her family, and would panic at the last minute.
‘Happy birthday, Dan,’ Jess said, giving him a big kiss. Amy was off in the corner talking to Dan’s friend Jeremy. Spotting Tara and Aisling, Jess went over to join them.
‘Hey, lady!’ they shouted, passing her a glass of Prosecco. Jess suddenly realized that she could kill a drink, and she toasted Dan.
A whole bunch of Dan’s friends had turned up, and when Amy joined them the girls got her to do a run-through on all their names. Jess spotted Liam Flynn, who looked even more handsome than ever in a body-hugging black shirt and jeans, his six-foot frame tanned after a trip to Morocco. He seemed unencumbered, and Amy confirmed that he was girlfriendless at present. A flicker of hope lit up Jess’s heart as she studied his deep brown eyes and thick dark hair and watched the way he kept up a running banter with a crowd of the lads. She couldn’t help herself: she really liked him.
As the night went on she realized that she not only liked him, but really fancied him, too. Downing another Prosecco she smiled at him as she passed on her way to the bathroom.
An hour later the crowd were moving to the Exchange, a nightclub just off Andrews Street. Jess fell into step with Liam as they walked up towards the entrance. He held the door open for her, and then when they got inside, and she was buying Amy and Tara and Dan a drink, he surprised her by asking her if he could get her something.
‘A white wine, please.’ She smiled, reckoning that she was all Proseccoed out.
Dan and Amy had snuggled into the corner of one of the long leather seats and were engrossed in each other. Tara had got up to dance with Jamie, one of Dan’s friends.
‘Jess, do you want to dance?’ she heard Liam ask.
Jess looked around for a second, wondering if she had imagined it, but as she felt his hand take hers she jumped up to join him.
He was a good dancer, with a great sense of rhythm, and she found she enjoyed dancing with him as they moved together to the soul set the DJ was playing. Tara gave her a wink, and Jess blushed as she felt Liam’s arms pull her even closer. The music slowed. This was heaven. An hour later they had sought refuge on a long brown leather couch, Jess dizzy as Liam caressed and kissed her. Amy and Dan seemed to have disappeared, and Jeremy confirmed that they had got a taxi home about fifteen minutes earlier.
‘I’ll bring you home,’ offered Liam, as his lips reached for hers again.
Twenty minutes later, they too were in a taxi, and Jess found herself inviting him into her little cottage near the canal.
‘Hey, nice place,’ he said, pulling her on to the couch after they’d opened some chilled Coronas she had in the fridge and she had flicked on the gas fire.
In a haze Jess felt Liam’s hand run up under her top. His fingers lifted her bra and cupped her breasts, and she moaned as he began to touch her nipples. She didn’t want this to stop, and eagerly helped to tug off his shirt. She kissed him, starting at the top and working her way down to where he wanted. The two of them laughed and touched and kissed as they made love frantically in front of the fire. The next time was slower and was in Jess’s bed, with her purring with satisfaction as Liam pulled her on top of him.
She woke at 4 a.m., confused, and thought that she was dreaming or hallucinating. Seeing Liam’s long, unshaven, handsome face asleep on the pillow beside her, his body against hers, she didn’t know whether to pray for this male apparition to go away or for it to stay.
At eight o’clock she realized that she had definitely not been dreaming, as Liam Flynn lay stretched out beside her, snoring heavily. She felt rough, and longed to hide under the duvet and stay there for the day. To wake her bedmate up and get him to repeat last night’s performance, this time with the sun streaming in the bedroom window and the gentle sound of the canal outside and the two of them cold sober.
But she had fecking work! Twenty-seven kids were waiting for her. Bernadette Carroll, the school principal, would have her guts for garters if she pulled a sickie and didn’t show up. A temporary teacher would have to be assigned to her class, and the department informed. It was all so complicated compared to people who worked in offices and could pull sickies all over the place. She’d never be in on time with the traffic and everything. She’d phone Bernadette to say she wasn’t feeling her best but would struggle in anyway – it was near enough to the truth, and she got out of bed and searched for her phone.
‘Get up! Get up!’ she yelled at Liam, as she pulled on her clothes after a scalding hot shower, and clipped her hair up. ‘I have to go to work.’
Liam worked as an accountant in the same big firm on Harcourt Street as Dan. They were in different departments, and Liam had told her that he specialized in funds, whatever that involved.
‘Hey, Jess.’ He yawned, patting the bed beside him.
‘Liam, I have to go to work,’ she shouted. ‘You have to get up!’
‘Nah.’ He groaned. ‘Come on, Jess. You’re lovely. It was lovely.’
‘Are you listening, Liam? I have to go,’ she said, grabbing her handbag and her jacket and car keys.
He sat up, all rumpled and unshaven; his eyes were bleary and dazed as he looked at her. ‘You’re going?’
‘Sorry, but I have to,’ she said, wishing that she was an uncaring self-centred wagon like Cathy Ryan, the fourth-class teacher, who was rumoured to have been so badly hungover last Friday in school that she had fallen asleep at her desk.
‘I have a class and I have to be there.’
He scratched his chin. God, he looked rough! Handsome still, but certainly rough! She gave him the opportunity to say something, anything, about the situation they were in. Instead he grabbed the quilt and rolled over on his side as she stood watching him.
‘Liam, let yourself out, and when you leave just pull the front door behind you,’ she said, as if she was talking to Oisin O’Brien, one of the troublesome kids in her class.
Out on the doorstep tears pricked her eyes. She hadn’t been with a guy for years, and then it had to go and be Liam Flynn. He’d said she was lovely. That it had been lovely. What did it mean?
At lunchtime she texted him, saying: ‘Thanks. Jess.’
She checked and rechecked her messages but there was nothing in reply. At home that evening she searched the bedroom and the kitchen and the sitting room to see if he had left a note.
Nothing. She sat down and, pretending to watch the TV, tried to make sense of what had happened. OK, she had drunk far too much and ended up with a man she fancied. He had drunk far too much and ended up with her!
Amy phoned her, all excited, thanking her for coming along. ‘It was a great night!’ She laughed. ‘Dan got pretty bombed, so I took him home and put him to bed.’
‘I went home a while after you,’ Jess said, trying to downplay what had happened.
‘I believe Liam was pretty bad, and ended up in some girl’s bed. He’s such a scuzz bag,’ confided Amy. ‘Imagine: he’d only broken up with Hazel a few days before, you know, but that didn’t stop him!’
Jess, mortified, took a sharp intake of breath.
Feck Liam Flynn! Feck him! she thought. He might be Dan’s best friend but Amy was right: he was an utter scuzz bag.