Amy watched Dan’s face. His expression was serious as they drove along the Merrion Road, crossing Merrion Gates, and parked by the familiar length of Sandymount Strand. She wondered what the hell he wanted to say to her. Hadn’t they hurt each other enough? She sat silent and rigid against the car seat, staring out at the sea and Dublin Bay as darkness fell and the lights from Howth to Dun Laoghaire glimmered in the distance. The air was so tense between them that she was tempted to just jump out of the car and run away from both him and their situation.
‘I’m sorry,’ he said, looking at her. ‘I’m sorry, Amy.’
She held her breath.
‘I was dumb and stupid to do what I did,’ he said, taking a breath. ‘You don’t have to go away for weekends with me if you don’t want to. Just because I want to surf doesn’t mean you have to! I was blaming you for all kinds of shit that was nothing to do with you and was about me . . .’
‘What?’
‘I was the one with cold feet, getting scared about the wedding and the people and the invites and the whole fecking thing! I just didn’t know how to say it to you . . . so instead I blamed you.’
‘Dan . . . I was awful! I was a right Bridezilla,’ she admitted, acknowledging the obsessive drive for perfection that had broken them up. ‘I turned into something I swore I would never be. It was some kind of obsession. I know that now. Even Jess said that I was unbearable, and that all I cared about was the wedding and other stupid stuff, instead of thinking about us. I’m so ashamed. No wonder you hated me.’
‘I don’t hate you,’ he protested, his breath warm against her face. ‘I could never hate you. You must know that. Amy, I love you. And, married or not . . . together or not . . . I still love you. I always will.’
Amy could scarcely believe what she was hearing. They were the very words she had waited and waited for him to say.
‘I don’t want to live my life without you,’ Dan admitted. ‘I want us to be together, whether we have rings on our fingers or a piece of paper or nothing. It doesn’t matter to me as long as we are together. That’s what’s important! That’s what matters!’
‘You still love me?’
‘Of course I do.’ He turned her to face him. ‘Tell me you know that.’
‘I know that,’ she whispered, realizing that she’d always known that. Dan was a part of her as much as her heart, her breath, her skin. ‘I love you, too, and I always will.’
‘Good,’ he whispered, pulling her into his arms, his lips and mouth claiming hers, making his feelings very clear as they kissed and caressed and touched. His fingers and lips were on her breast, and her belly, and they made her groan with pleasure as she tried to resist the temptation to climb on to his lap.
‘Dan, we are in the car park,’ she reminded him suddenly, glancing around. ‘There is an old couple sitting two cars up from us listening to music and just holding hands. They’re watching us.’
‘Let them,’ he said, pulling her closer again.
‘Do you think we’ll be like them when we are old, sitting here looking out at the sea?’ she asked a while later.
‘I hope so,’ he said firmly. ‘I’ll love you when you are old.’
‘When I’m grey and fat and have arthritis and can hardly walk?’
‘Sure. Will you love me when I am old and bald and have no teeth and can’t remember my name?’
‘Of course I’ll love you.’ She giggled. ‘Anyway, they can do great things for teeth nowadays, and I think you would look kind of cute bald.’ She touched his face, tracing the outline of his cheek and jaw and nose and lips. ‘What about when we have kids, and I’m pregnant and ginormous and have to rest with my feet up or spend half my time in the bathroom being sick every day?’
‘I’ll love you even more. I love pregnant women.’ He laughed, tracing his finger along her stomach. ‘But,’ he countered, ‘what about when I am a grumpy old fart playing golf and giving out to our kids and yelling at them to turn down the music?’
‘I’ll them that I love that grumpy old fart,’ she said firmly. ‘What will you feel when I’m sad and lonely and lost?’
‘I’ll love you,’ Dan insisted. ‘Even when I’m hooked up to machines and too weak to walk or talk, I’ll still love you.’
‘I will love you even more,’ she whispered, blinking away the tears, thinking of her dad and her mum as she kissed Dan’s eyes and eyelashes. ‘It will never stop.’
‘Marry me, then?’ he asked.
‘You already asked me that,’ she reminded, ‘and you know what happened.’
‘I’m asking again,’ he said. ‘I love you and I want to marry you.’
‘Yes, please.’ Her voice was shaking, and she couldn’t believe that by some miracle they had been given a second chance. ‘This time it will be different,’ she promised.
‘No castle or two hundred guests!’ he teased.
‘Definitely not,’ she answered.
‘No gangs of Canadian cousins arriving over for our nuptials?’
‘They won’t be invited,’ she was adamant. ‘And none of your mum’s gang of twelve golf mates, either?’
‘Over my dead body,’ agreed Dan.
‘We could get married on a beach somewhere far away from everyone?’ she offered. ‘Or in the Register Office?’
He kissed her again. ‘Amy, the wedding is to celebrate our love with those we love.’
Amy grinned. It was exactly what she was thinking. ‘Wait till we tell Mum and Dad,’ she laughed. ‘They won’t believe it.’
‘Do you want to go tell them now?’ he offered.
‘Are you sure?’
‘Yeah, come on,’ he said, giving her a kiss as he started the engine. ‘Paddy will be delighted that they’re the first to know that we are back together.’
The hospital’s night porter pretended not to see them as, hand in hand, they slipped into the elevator for the third floor. Her mum and dad were in the room, the lights low and Paddy dozing lightly.
‘Dan! Amy?’ Her mum was surprised to see them together, and noticed immediately that they were holding hands, and grinning like two crazy people! ‘Paddy?’ she called softly.
Paddy opened his eyes and smiled when he saw Dan.
‘We wanted to tell you and Dad that everything is OK between us again,’ Amy explained. ‘We’re back together. The engagement is back on and we are getting married.’
‘Oh, that is wonderful news,’ cried her mum, jumping up to hug them both, tears welling in her eyes. ‘God knows this family could do with some good news!’