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I sat at the bowling alley, waiting for my turn, sadly eating fry after fry. They weren't as good as diner fries, but I'd smelled them when we came in here, and I couldn't resist. It was food, and I was a hungry wolf shifter. Possibly even still a growing boy, since the men in my family tended to keep growing until they were in their mid-twenties.
I checked my phone again, but there was no answer from Elias. He hadn't replied when I'd texted that some of us were going bowling and did he want to come along?
He must be working. He worked an awful lot. Really, it was no wonder he didn't have a lot of time to hang out with me. It was kind of a surprise he ever did.
Toby glanced over at my phone and gave me a knowing look. "He's probably at his second job. You know." He waggled his eyebrows.
"What? I think he works at a grocery store," I said.
"That, and an adult club," he said, leaning closer and lowering his voice.
"What? Really? No, he doesn't." Pulled together Elias? No way!
"Really, really. He's a dancer some nights. You know."
"What kind of dancer?" I said, even though there were only so many options at an adult club. "Like a stripper?"
"I mean, yeah? But I think he prefers 'dancer.'"
"I didn't even know there were any clubs like that around here."
He gave me a long look. "Kiddo, there are always clubs. Haven't you ever been? He's fun to watch."
"He might feel weird about me watching," I confessed. "Elias can be awfully prickly sometimes. I don't know." Since he was going to be moving in with me this weekend—I could hardly wait—I didn't want to do anything to piss him off.
Toby snorted. "He doesn't have to know. We can sit in the back and keep quiet."
I felt myself blushing. "But we're bowling?" I said, kind of shakily.
The truth is, I hadn't been in a lot of situations like that and I thought I'd be super embarrassed if Elias started taking his clothes off for people to watch and enjoy. Plus, I really liked Elias and I might enjoy it a little too much, if you know what I mean. I wanted to be a respectful roommate and not be imagining him with his clothes off.
Oops, too late.
Wow, he looked great.
I glanced nervously at Toby. "Is it a secret? Weren't you supposed to tell me?"
He shrugged, like he hadn't thought about that, and it was too late now to care. "He doesn't talk about it a lot, so maybe? Anyway, I'm pretty sure most people know. It's kind of normal for fox shifters to take on some extra work like that. You know. Sex work. It's...there's a market."
Toby wasn't a shifter, but he hung out with a lot of us shifters, anyway. He didn't seem judgmental about Elias's second job, just matter-of-fact. I guess he'd had time to get used to the idea.
I hadn't.
I made up my mind. "I guess maybe I'll ask him before I go and see him. I don't want him to get mad at me about something stupid." If he didn't mind, there'd be plenty of time later. If he did, I just wouldn't ever go.
"You're a better man than me. I'd want to go, if I looked at Elias the way you do—and the way he looks at you. Hell, I don't even swing that way and I needed to see it for myself at least once."
I swallowed hard. Toby had watched. Toby had watched Elias taking his clothes off and being hot for money. And he thought Elias and I looked at each other...a certain way.
"How do I look at him?" I said. I knew how Elias looked at me. Like I was really too much, and also like he was terribly fond of me despite his better judgment. But that didn't mean anything, did it? Not the way Toby was saying.
Toby shrugged. "I guess you just look at him. You look at him a lot. I thought you were into him, that's all."
"He's very good-looking," I admitted. "But I'm pretty sure he's not interested in me getting some crush on him. I'm old enough to behave myself."
"I didn't say you were going to jump his bones. But you look at him and he looks at you. There's a lot of looking going on."
"It's not like that," I protested, feeling hot in the face. "I'm not that bad."
"Hey, nothing bad about it." Toby gave me a swat on the shoulder. "Get it where you can get it. I'm just glad you don't play for my team. You'd be a wrecking ball."
"Lots of smashing?" I guessed.
He laughed. "Well, you'd be something to contend with, for sure. You haven't noticed, but half the women in here under thirty have been keeping their eyes on you. And not a few of the ones over thirty."
I glanced around. "Are there lots of women here?"
"There are some. They've noticed you. If you'd noticed them back—you'd be trouble, that's all, especially if you were a little more confident."
I felt myself blushing for sure now.
"Hey guys, sorry I'm late. Is there still room?"
I looked up quickly. It was Elias. Kinda tired-looking. He smelled great, sort of foxy and clean, like fresh earth after a rain.
He looked up at me and gave me a tiny wave, his face kind of shy. He transferred his attention quickly back to Dani, who was talking animatedly.
Toby nudged me. "See?"
I ignored him, got up, and went over to Elias. I stood close, so we could talk over the noise of the lanes. "You didn't text, just showed up?"
"I didn't have time to text. I should probably start another lane, right? Do you want to bowl against me?"
"Okay," I said. I didn't really care about bowling. I just like being around friends and in a noisy, comfortable environment like a bowling alley. It was warm, people were having fun, and there were fries, even if they weren't very good ones.
I smiled, suddenly feeling like the evening was looking up. I'd think about the dancing thing later, if at all. It didn't matter right now.
It was a fun game, and I enjoyed myself a lot more after Elias showed up. I got everybody a round of chili dogs and more fries.
We went to a bar after bowling, and I paid for the first round. Elias gave me a sidelong, judgmental sort of look, and I nudged him with my shoulder and said, "Stop," and laughed. I was allowed to buy a round of drinks.
"What's that look?" said Dani, seeing our interaction and pouncing. "What's going on with you two?" Her eyes got bigger, brighter. "Don't tell me—you're together?" She clasped her hands, looking thrilled.
We both scowled at her. "No," said Elias coldly. "I've been telling him he lets people take advantage of him. Now he's buying all the drinks and I'm just letting him know I think it's bullshit."
"You don't have to buy all the drinks, Rory," said Toby. "I'll get the next round."
"Well, you're not going to be treating anyone to anything, Mr. Tight Fists," said Dani, wrinkling her nose at Elias. He wrinkled his back.
Theo snickered, covering his mouth with one hand so he wouldn't spit his drink everywhere. "Are your fists particularly tight, Elias?" he asked innocently.
"Funny," said Elias, hunching over his drink.
I put an arm around his shoulder. "Leave Elias alone. I already beat him at bowling."
"Well, should we pick on you?" Dani leaned closer into my space, with a sort of wriggle, smiling up into my eyes.
I looked back at her. "I guess if you've got to pick on somebody."
"Aw, you're no fun." She reached up and pinched my cheek. "You're too cute to be this...this..."
"This what?" said Sage, looking confused and slightly alarmed by the interactions. Maybe she was missing something, too. I was surprised she'd come along today, to be honest. It didn't seem like her kind of fun. But maybe her kind of fun was whatever Dani wanted to do. She was awfully fond of Dani, and Dani never really noticed. That probably hurt.
"Good," said Dani, disgustedly, going back to her drink. "He's too good. He thinks he's all grown up, but he's such a goody-goody. He'd never do anything even slightly bad."
My face felt hot. Apparently, she'd found something I would mind being teased about, and I hadn't known it. "That's not true," I said, trying desperately to think of something bad I might have once done on purpose. She was right, though. She saw right through me. I made so many mistakes by accident, I tried never to make any on purpose.
I thought of something. "I gambled. Just last week!" I sounded triumphant about it. Even though it hadn't been as much fun as I'd hoped, and I'd ended up losing quite a lot.
"I wonder who got you to do that," said Elias in a low, disgruntled voice.
"Henny invited me to a poker game, and I—" I stopped. That had been what he meant. He'd meant Henny. It wasn't actually a question.
Elias stood up, stretched his arms and back, and sighed. "Rory, you don't have to be good or bad. Just be yourself. Anyone who's worth knowing will like you for that." He gave Dani a narrow-eyed look, as if he meant certain people in particular, and then he marched off towards the bathroom.
I watched him go. Just like everybody had watched him stretch—kind of like there was no other option. He really was good-looking. Sometimes, he hid it. I don't know how. People just didn't see him if he didn't want to be noticed. But he wasn't hiding very well tonight, the way he was walking, a tired strut, like he was just too tired to give a damn about whether anyone looked at him or not.
Theo gave me a teasing nudge. "Go after him."
"What? Why?" I said.
When I turned to look at him, he was giggling again and Jasper was telling him to quit it, he wasn't funny.
#
Henny breezed into the diner. I had been trying to build the tallest tower I could with sugar packets. Sage, seated across from me at the little table, was beating me. She had swift, nimble fingers, and she was well-coordinated. I kept hoping to catch up, but I wasn't catching up. She didn't say a word, but she was grinning, a quietly pleased little grin, to be showing off her skill.
I accidentally knocked over my tower when I turned to look at Henny, then promptly forgot all about it. He was wearing his leather jacket, but today it was pretty scuffed up. He also had a big black eye and a limp. I jumped up, almost knocking over my chair. "Henny? What happened?"
"This time," added someone behind me. Jack, the waiter.
"Some absolute assholes. We had a small disagreement about money." He waved it away. "I need two burgers and some fries to go, quick." He smacked the counter lightly.
Jack rolled his eyes. "Have you got money to pay for it? Or did the disagreement take care of that problem?"
"You're so funny, Jack." Henny bared his teeth. "Of course I've got money." He pulled out a thick, battered wallet. "I didn't say they won the disagreement."
"Ha ha," said Jack flatly, and went to get Henny's order.
"Are you okay?" I looked him over, gently turning his face one way, then the other, to see the damage. "Do you need medical treatment or something?"
He winced slightly at one spot, and I carefully withdrew my fingers.
"I'm fine, I'm fine." He waved it away. "I've got a hot date and I don't want to keep her waiting. She's going to 'take care' of me." He grinned a little as he did the air quote—a wicked grin. He gave me a big pat on the chest. "You take care of yourself, big guy. I've got to dash!"
I wanted to say something else. Or ask him something. I wanted to have something to talk to him about. Or maybe say that I could check his injuries instead, even though that would be stupid, as I had no medical training aside from some basic first aid training I'd gotten for the job.
But I felt strange and hollow inside. I wanted to be happy for him. If he wanted to date women, that should be his business. Jack returned with his food. Henny slapped down some bills and dashed out the door, yelling "Ta-ta!" to everyone as he went.
Outside, I heard his motorcycle start. I didn't go out to watch him ride away. He always looked really good, riding away. But sometimes I couldn't stand to watch.
I went back, sadly, to the table. Sage had fixed my sugar tower for me, so it was the same height as before, and she looked at me expectantly. She'd stopped where she was. Decent of her.
I sat down, squeezing my legs under the table, and went back to stacking. But I couldn't seem to smile about anything anymore.
I was getting ready to go after finishing my meal and having Sage beat me twice at our little game. There wasn't much else going on today, and I was too gloomy to bring much to the table, either.
I didn't feel like going out drinking when Theo texted me, asking if I wanted to meet up at a bar with him, Jasper, Toby, and some other people. I texted, "Sorry maybe next time." And I wasn't as hungry as I usually was, so a single, large-sized meal was enough to fill me up, even if it didn't quite fill the hollowness.
I was aware that it was stupid to be like this about Henny. To light up inside every time I saw the guy, even when he didn't see me at all. To be disappointed when he had other plans.
He was also kind of a hot mess. He was somewhat evasive if you ever asked him what he did for a living; and he'd gotten kinda distant for a while after he found out I was working with the cops. He was always in some sort of danger, trouble, or drama. But he was hot, and funny, and cool in a way I could never hope to be, and he'd let me suck his dick a couple of times. I just couldn't keep my cool around him.
"One mouth is probably about like another," he'd said. "If you want to."
And I'd wanted to. But it had only happened three times, and he'd never done anything back, or acted like he even remembered it later.
I was thinking about that as I was putting out a tip and getting ready to go. The door jingled and opened. I glanced automatically to see if it was somebody I knew. Elias was just stepping inside, wrapped up in a bunch of layers. He slung a book bag down to rest between his feet. He was panting as he pulled off his gloves and a ski hat. He loosened a scarf, took off a rain jacket, and revealed several sweaters under it that made him look much larger than he was.
"Tea and toast, Jack," he said.
"In your usual spot?"
Elias nodded.
"Elias?" I asked, wandering up to him. "What happened? You're not usually biking in this weather."
"My car's in the garage." He took off his glasses, which were fogged up, and held out his jacket for me to hold. "Take this a sec?"
I accepted what seemed like piles of clothing while he got himself undressed to a suitable indoor degree. He accepted them back with a thanks and headed for a table in the back, his arms full. "I come here to study when the library's closed, on nights I have time to study and it's too loud where I live. I'll just study at your place when I move in. But right now, I've got to have somewhere at least slightly quiet."
I wondered what it was like where he lived, that this was quieter.
It didn't seem like tea and toast was going to be enough after that hard ride he'd had. I'd seen Elias's bike, and it was sturdy, and so was Elias, despite his spare build, but it was a cold, damp day without any sun to speak of. Not exactly nice riding weather. And he lived at least a couple of miles from here.
It occurred to me that Elias wouldn't know if I was coming or going, and really, it wouldn't be too weird of me to order more than one meal. "Can I sit with you, or will it be too distracting?"
He looked up at me quickly. "Um. Okay, but I have a deadline. I can't chat."
Elias was taking some college courses, squeezing them in around his busy work and life. Elias was always doing something, usually something smart and sensible. He didn't struggle with barely scraping by on the basics of understanding life.
I was never gonna be smart like him, was I? I couldn't even stop thinking about Henny Lind. "Is your car going to be okay?" I asked him, as he spread out his papers and books carefully.
"I hope so," he said. "It's the bill I'm worried about."
"We're still moving you in this weekend, right? We can use my vehicle. Or rent a van if we have to."
"Sure, I'm looking forward to it." He opened a book. "But if I don't do this tonight, it's not going to get done. My schedule is terrible this week. I really can't chat."
"Okay. I'll get some food. I'll be quiet."
I went back to the counter and ordered a big meal. Jack didn't suspect anything. Then I went back to sit with Elias. His head was bent studiously, his curls damp with sweat. He was still breathing hard. He really didn't get many breaks, did he?
Was he going to have to bicycle all the way over to the club for his second job? I'd gotten Toby to tell me where he worked (the Leopard Print Club—a shifter-themed place), and looked it up online out of curiosity. It was in a part of town where the cops had calls almost every day for something or other going down. It was also pretty far from where he lived, since I knew at least vaguely where he lived, even if he hadn't given me his exact address.
I thought about that for a bit. Would it be weird to offer him a lift? I probably wasn't working when he went, since I worked days and it was only open evenings, nights, and weekends. I did work on some weekends.
Would he tell me if he wanted a lift? Probably he'd ask another friend first. Elias didn't seem to like asking me for favors. I still didn't know if his second job was supposed to be a secret.
It occurred to Elias partway through his paper that he was eating my fries. I laughed and told I'm that I'd gotten plenty to eat. "Have some of the meat, too." I pushed the plate a little closer. He hesitated, and then ate.
It was nice to think I was clever enough, at least, to do this.