Chapter Nine

RETREAT

Erich went to Stefan’s room before breakfast. He felt so relieved to see him awake and hungry that he laughed out loud.

“So,” he said to his nephew, sitting on the edge of the bed, “what’s the first thing we should do when you get on your feet again?”

“I want to shoot the crossbow,” Stefan said.

“We haven’t done that for a long time.”

“I suppose you’ll still have to cock it for me.”

“Probably.” Erich chuckled. “I can barely cock it myself. But one day you’ll be able to do it.”

“I’m glad I’m not going to die,” Stefan added after a brief silence.

“So am I,” Erich said earnestly. “So am I.”

After breakfast, Erich went to a meeting of the advisory committee, where it was impossible to ignore his uneasiness. The major topic of discussion was the possibility of revolution, and the threats against himself and Stefan. When the meeting finally adjourned, Erich went down to his laboratory to pass some time while Kathe caught up some things at home. Descending the stairs, he reminded himself that he had much to be grateful for, not the least of which was Stefan being alive. But Erich was only in the laboratory a minute when the dread struck again in the pit of his stomach. He had no doubt that someone had been there, tampering with the chemicals. But how could that be? He kept the door from the hallway always locked. Could someone truly have found his hiding place for the key? The very idea made him feel ill when he considered how he’d nearly died down here before. Since that time, no one beyond him ever came here, except Han on rare occasions. And Erich knew he wouldn’t have left things this way. Despite how disorderly the room appeared, Erich knew it like the back of his hand. And something was wrong.

Memories flooded back of going unconscious in this room amid billows of smoke. He could almost taste the reality of waking up with weeks of his life gone, and then wondering if he’d ever walk again. A physical tightness developed in his chest when he added to that his encounter with the lamp just this morning. Without a second thought, Erich turned and left the room, closing the door tightly. He stopped to catch his breath before he began his ascent and realized this was affecting him worse than he wanted to admit.

Erich stayed close to the center wall as he went carefully up the steps. In his mind he could only see Kathe. She had taken his life from good to better, and he wanted a future with her. She increased his instinctive desire to survive, and he needed her.

Erich didn’t put the key back in its usual hiding place but kept it with him as he went straight to his father’s office, relieved to find him there with Georg. Cameron removed his glasses and looked at Erich sternly. “What’s the matter?” he asked.

Erich glanced down, almost wishing his father didn’t know him so well. He didn’t want to tell him, but knew he had to. It was an unspoken rule between them that all such things had to be voiced.

“I was just in the laboratory,” Erich stated.

Cameron’s eyes hardened a little, seeming to expect what was coming. “And?” the duke insisted when Erich didn’t continue.

“Someone’s been down there. The chemicals that just arrived weren’t touched; that box hasn’t even been opened. But some other things were and I . . . well I . . . I should probably just go clear it all out and start over . . . and . . .”

“I thought you always kept the door locked,” Cameron said, sounding angry. But Erich couldn’t blame him. He knew this was fear talking, even if it sounded like anger.

“I do keep it locked, but . . .” Erich hesitated, realizing now that his decision might not have been very well thought out, and his father might now be angry with him.

“But?” Cameron urged.

“The key is bulky, and sometimes I would forget to bring it, so I . . . hid it . . . near the door, and . . .”

“Dammit!” Cameron stood and turned his back, leaning his hands on the sill of the huge window.

Georg displayed his usual ability to remain calm under nearly any circumstance. He asked Erich where exactly he’d hidden the key and suggested what Erich had figured out in the last few minutes—that the maids would be required to dust that little table regularly, and someone had likely found it there.

“I’m so sorry,” Erich said. “I just . . . didn’t think.”

Cameron sighed but still didn’t turn around. “It’s just an oversight, Erich.” He sounded more calm. “People make oversights all the time. Heaven knows I’ve made many of them. Why didn’t I think to have officers in this room while the maids were cleaning? After all these years why can’t I figure out which people working for me are committing treason? Did I just get too comfortable with time passing? Questioning my own oversights makes my head nearly burst. I fear Nik Koenig will undo us in the end simply because some stupid, silly thing didn’t occur to me. But such oversights shouldn’t put the lives of the people we love in danger.”

“No, they shouldn’t,” Georg said with compassion.

Cameron turned around and sat back down, his aura weary and deeply concerned.

Erich took a seat himself, feeling a little unsteady. To fill the silence, he said, “I have the key with me now, and I’m not going down there until I can clean it all out. But I can’t do it right now. I hardly slept at all last night. If they don’t kill me, they’ll drive me insane.”

“I don’t want you to do it now,” Cameron insisted. “And when you do clean out the room, there will be officers on watch and nearby. Just . . . don’t go down there at all for now.”

“My thoughts exactly,” Erich said. He took a deep breath and rose to leave.

“Where are you going?” Cameron asked.

“I need to see Kathe.”

“You’re not stepping outside this castle,” Cameron retorted.

“Oh, yes,” Erich snapped with sarcasm, “this castle is such a safe place.” He met his father’s eyes, and the trauma of the past two days was evident. “I need her,” he said more softly.

A glance passed between Cameron and Georg. “We’ll send someone to get her,” Cameron said gently. “I’d prefer you stay here.”

“I’ll go,” Georg volunteered. “I could use some fresh air, anyway.”

“Thank you, Georg,” Erich said.

“No problem.” Georg smiled as he passed by him and left the office.

“Are you all right?” Cameron asked as Erich sat down again.

Erich chuckled tensely and pushed his hair behind his ear. “This whole thing has got me a little shaky, I must admit.”

“It’s got all of us a little shaky,” Cameron added. “When Kathe gets here, I need to talk with the both of you.”

“About what?”

“We’ll talk when she gets here,” he said. “In the meantime,” Cameron stood from behind the desk, “why don’t we go see how Stefan is doing. Poor little tyke. It’s a miracle he’s alive.” He slapped Erich on the shoulder. “And you too, for that matter.”

“Well,” Erich managed a smile, “I believe in miracles . . . I think.”

“Then there’s hope, eh?”

They walked together down the hall, and Erich was glad to feel the tension between them ease and to hear his father sounding in a better mood. But he knew they were both just exerting a great deal of self-discipline to keep their true fear from showing.

Kathe answered a knock at the door and was surprised to see Georg Heinrich. Although Erich’s family had paid visits to her home, she had never seen Georg here.

“Georg.” She smiled pleasantly while she couldn’t help wondering if something was wrong. “Come in.”

“Thank you.” He stepped inside.

“What can I do for you?” she asked, motioning him toward the parlor.

“I can’t stay,” he said, sitting on the edge of a chair. Kathe sensed something severe in his countenance, and her nerves increased as she sat across from him.

“What’s happened?” she insisted. “Is Erich—”

“Erich’s fine,” he assured her, and she drew a calming breath. “But it’s evident someone has been tampering with the things in his laboratory, and . . . there was another incident early this morning.”

Kathe’s eyes narrowed. “What kind of incident?”

“A lamp in Erich’s room exploded when he lit it. He was—”

Kathe shot to her feet and pressed a hand over her heart. “Are you sure he’s all right?”

“Of course. I just saw him, but . . . His Grace didn’t want him to go out under the circumstances. He asked that I come and get you.”

“I’ll be ready in five minutes.” She rushed up the stairs, trying to fight back the tears that had plagued her most of the night.

Erich walked out to meet Kathe when she rode into the courtyard with Georg. He helped her dismount and held her tightly while a servant took her horse.

“Are you all right?” she asked.

“I am now.” He smiled and kissed her quickly.

“I believe your father wants to see the both of you,” Georg said as he dismounted and walked past them.

“Yes,” Erich replied, “we’ll be right in.”

“What about?” Kathe asked, noting the way Erich’s brow furrowed.

“I don’t know. He wouldn’t tell me.” They walked inside together and slowly down the hall. “But he gets very upset when people try to kill his children.”

“I can’t say that I blame him.”

Erich and Kathe passed the officers flanking the door and entered the ducal office to find Georg sitting in his usual chair, wearing deep concern. Cameron was gazing out the window, his back turned to them as they were seated before the huge desk.

Without preamble, the duke said, “I feel it’s necessary to postpone the wedding.”

“What?” Erich protested. Kathe squeezed his hand tightly. “We can’t do that. We—”

“Georg and I have discussed this in great length.” Cameron turned and looked hard at his son. “Under the circumstances, it just has to be.”

“But why?” Erich leaned forward. “I don’t understand why we can’t—”

“I’ll tell you why,” Cameron shouted, and Kathe winced. She’d heard her father shout occasionally, but it was evident that Cameron du Woernig was a very powerful man. “I’ve got a missing layout for this castle, a crew of servants I can’t trust, and my home is booby-trapped. Captain Dukerk has had the servants questioned again this morning, and they’ve all been threatened severely. No one will admit to anything that even gives us a lead to follow. There is a revolutionary force present in the valley, and the heirs to my duchy are being threatened with their lives. That’s why!”

No one responded, and Cameron sat down. In a calmer voice he went on to explain, “I cannot take my family through town in a grand procession and leave us all exposed like sitting ducks. It’s as simple as that.”

Erich exchanged a panicked glance with Kathe. “All right,” he said firmly, “I can’t argue with that. Let us get married privately . . . here at the castle. We don’t need the procession.” Another quick glance told him that Kathe approved of the idea. But a harsh uneasiness crept down his back as he observed the concern that passed between his father and Georg.

“Erich,” Cameron leaned his forearms on the desk and looked at him closely. His eyes shifted briefly to Kathe and it was evident that her presence made him hesitant. He turned back to Erich, cleared his throat, and said firmly, “It’s difficult for me to admit this aloud, son, but Georg and I have talked this through and . . . when we consider every possible repercussion of what is taking place, the bottom line is clear.” He glanced briefly again to Kathe, and Erich thought he looked as if he were going to cry. “Kathe will be safer if she is not your wife.”

It took a moment for the implication to set in. “Dear God, no,” Erich cried and leaned back, suddenly weak. Kathe came abruptly to her feet and turned away, wrapping both arms around her middle as she felt a literal sickness smoldering inside her.

“Are you saying,” Erich’s voice raised angrily, “that you honestly believe it will come to that?”

“I don’t know what it will come to!” Cameron shouted. “But all we can do now is prepare for the worst and hope for the best. It’s ridiculous. It’s unfair. And by heaven and earth, I hate it! But at the moment there’s not a blasted thing I can do about it beyond protecting my family and my country to the best of my ability. At this point, you should consider Kathe the lucky one. She doesn’t have this damnable curse of being a du Woernig.”

Kathe pressed a hand over her mouth, attempting to hold back her emotion. But a harsh whimper erupted into the silence nevertheless.

Erich rose from his seat and put his arms around her, aching to take away her anguish. She buried her face against his shoulder, barely able to keep from sobbing.

Cameron leaned his elbows on the desk and put his head into his hands, sighing loudly. Georg said calmly, “We must keep you safe at all costs, Erich. Not only because we all care for you very much but also because you represent the hope of this country in the next generation. Only you have the right and the knowledge to rule Horstberg the way it should be done. There are a lot of people out there who need you to be there for them. We’ve discussed many times the poverty and horrendous working conditions that resulted in the brief time that Nikolaus ruled. We must do everything we can to preserve the rights of the people—and you are the key.”

Erich absorbed Georg’s words but then retorted tersely, “I suppose that means I can’t just run away and elope.”

“I wouldn’t blame you if you did,” Cameron said, his voice softer now. Something close to despair seethed in his eyes.

“But if I am any kind of a man,” Erich said, “with any kind of integrity, I will not turn my back on Horstberg without a fair fight.” He said it as if he resented it.

“I did that once,” Cameron said. “It’s not worth it, trust me. But if it comes to the worst, that may be an option. Better that than . . .” He stopped with a quick glance toward Kathe.

“What Georg said is right,” Cameron finally said. “We must ensure your safety. That’s why I’m sending you away.”

“What?” Erich protested again, and Kathe turned to look at the duke, wiping at her tears.

“With what I’ve got to worry about,” Cameron stated, “I don’t need to sit here and wonder when you’re going to run into another accident. If you are tucked safely away, I can concentrate on more pressing matters.”

“Where?” Erich insisted. He didn’t like this at all.

“You know where.”

“Then I’m taking Kathe with me,” he insisted, holding her tighter.

“We need her here,” Georg interjected in his usual, calm, compassionate manner. “Under the circumstances, we feel it’s best to make everything appear normal. If whoever is behind this believes you are gone, then they’ll start looking for you, and they may move with more drastic measures. We will continue to behave as if you are still here, and we want Kathe to visit regularly as she has been.”

“I apologize,” Cameron said more to Kathe, “but I’m afraid the two of you will have to be separated for a time.” Then to Erich, “Be ready to leave at midnight and tell no one. And in the meantime,” he added, putting his glasses on as if to conclude the meeting, “please be careful.”

Erich stood for a minute, wishing he could come up with any possible alternative. When he couldn’t, he quietly left the office, his arm securely around Kathe’s shoulders.

Once Erich and Kathe had left, Georg said to Cameron, “Do you really believe they want to kill every possible heir, or are they just trying to keep us off balance enough to make us vulnerable?”

“Well, if that’s the case, it’s working, isn’t it,” Cameron growled. “As I see it, it’s irrelevant at this point whether they succeed at doing away with my heirs or not. If they do manage to take over the country, they’ll just line up the survivors and kill us all anyway.”

“God forbid,” Georg muttered.

“Amen,” Cameron added, and they said nothing more.

“I’m afraid,” Kathe said when they had moved away from the officers standing guard at the door. “I don’t want to be away from you, Erich. I—”

Erich put his fingers over her lips as they walked slowly down the hall. “I’m afraid, too, Kathe,” he admitted. “But my father is the Duke of Horstberg. I learned a long time ago that whether I agree with him or not, when it comes to matters of political security, I have to concede to his authority. And as much as I hate to admit it, he’s right. He knows what he’s doing. We have to trust him.”

Kathe nodded her understanding and forced back her fear, attempting to be positive. She would not waste away their time together now by blubbering with emotion. She could cry all she wanted after he was gone.

She was surprised when he took her to the chapel, but she had to admit that she felt a little better after they had sat together there in contemplative silence for over an hour.

“Kathe.” His voice, though soft, startled her as it broke the air. “Do you believe there is life after this one? Do you think it’s possible that our spirits live on somehow?”

Kathe lifted a hand to his face, then pushed it into his hair, toying idly with the curls. “When I lost my mother, I remember initially being overwrought with despair. I was only a child. She had been the center of my life. I remember my father telling me that he believed she lived on, and we would be together again one day. But something in me couldn’t believe it . . . as if not being able to see or taste the evidence made it impossible to accept. And then . . . late one night, I was sitting in the chair in my room, just staring out the window. I couldn’t sleep. I remember feeling this darkness around me . . . as if the loneliness would swallow me. And then . . .” Her eyes grew distant and she laughed softly. “It’s funny. The memory is so clear—as if it happened only yesterday. I remember wishing with all my heart that there was a God, and that life went on, because if I had to believe that my mother was gone from me forever, there was no point in living. And then, it was as if in an instant the darkness was gone. I felt this indescribable peace, and . . .” She looked into Erich’s eyes. “I’ve never told anyone this before.”

“Why not?” he asked, mesmerized by the ethereal aura about her.

“Maybe because it sounds so . . . unbelievable.”

“Why? Because you couldn’t see it or taste it?”

“Yes, I suppose that’s why.”

“And yet you say the memory is so clear. Would something you imagined stay with you that way?”

Kathe smiled. She liked the theory. “Anyway,” she went on, her eyes becoming distant again, “at the same moment this peace washed over me. I felt my mother’s arms come around me. I don’t know how I knew it was her, but I knew. The sensation of her touch was real. And while I was sitting there, marveling that this was happening, I remember expecting it to end. And while I don’t think I had any real sensation of time passing, I know that it lasted long enough for me to know it wasn’t my imagination.”

Kathe turned to look at Erich, surprised by the moisture glistening in his eyes. “Yes,” she added, “I believe there is life beyond this one. I believe that my father’s being without my mother is only temporary—just as Theodor being without Leisl is.”

Erich pulled her close to him, holding her tightly. “Then whatever happens,” he said, feeling an undeniable peace, “we will be together . . . eventually.”

Kathe drew back to look into his eyes. She nodded firmly, afraid to speak for fear of erupting with fresh emotion. Closing her eyes, she pressed her forehead to his, as if doing so could make him read her thoughts and feel her love for him.

They finally drew away from their reverie when Erich noticed it was time to eat and his family would be worried if he was late.

Throughout the meal, nothing appeared out of the ordinary, but the tension was evident. After spending some time with Stefan, Kathe and Erich walked together through the gardens, saying little. It seemed there was nothing to be said that wouldn’t add to the anguish.

“Where are your thoughts?” Kathe asked, if only to break the silence. She could well imagine being without him tomorrow, wishing she had said a hundred things today.

“I keep thinking of being with you yesterday in the lodge,” he admitted, and his lips twitched upward. “I never dreamed it could be so incredible.”

Kathe stopped between two long rows of shrubbery and looked into his eyes, silently agreeing, willing herself not to blush as their thoughts mingled intimately.

“While I’m gone,” he said, “just think about how good it will be when we’re married.”

Kathe nodded and tried to smile, but she couldn’t hold back her emotion any longer. She pressed her face to his shoulder, attempting to hide the tears.

Erich pulled her close, muttering close to her ear. “I’ve never felt so helpless.”

“I’m sorry,” she murmured, “I don’t mean to burden you with—”

“Your emotions are not a burden to me, Katherine.” He lifted her chin and looked into her eyes. “I love you. Whatever happens, you must remember it.”

Kathe nodded firmly, relieved when he took hold of her and kissed her in a way that spoke of the intimacy they had shared. A familiar desperation seeped into it, and she wondered what it might be like to experience passion without the fear of losing the one you loved. As his kiss deepened, he urged her closer as if he could make her a part of himself and take her with him.

Erich felt the emotion in Kathe’s kiss that she was hesitant to show. While desire to have her again consumed him, the poignancy of what lay between them was suddenly overpowering. His own emotions erupted from deep in his chest and an anguished moan slipped into his kiss. The emotion stifled his passion, leaving him suddenly weak.

Kathe exhaled sharply when Erich dropped to his knees, pressing his hands to her lower back, and his face into the folds of her skirt. While his emotion was evident, she felt a surge of compassion. As difficult as it was for her to imagine losing him, she could not comprehend how it might be for him to realize his life was in danger. Gently, she pushed one hand into his hair and the other over his shoulder, urging him closer. He looked up at her like a child seeking comfort, and she touched his face, wishing there was something she could say to give it. A moment later he came to his feet, taking her hand.

“Come along,” he said. “Let’s go inside.”

They passed a maid in the hall and went into the library. Without a word, Erich gently pushed her back onto a large sofa, obviously made to accommodate long reading sessions with comfort.

“I love you, Kathe,” he murmured, stretching out beside her. In one agile movement, he eased her close to him, fusing her mouth to his, holding her as if the world might end at any moment. A calming warmth fell over them as his kiss became languid and savoring, then he gradually drifted to sleep, his face pressed to her heart. She wondered if he’d gotten any sleep at all last night as his body seemed to slump into complete exhaustion. Kathe reveled in holding him close until her own lack of sleep escorted her into slumber, holding him tightly against her.

Abbi shot her head up from the letter she was writing to Sonia. The sudden urge to check on Erich was not strong by any means, but it was something she couldn’t ignore. While she hurried down the hall, wondering where to find him, she recalled feeling this way several times a day when her children were young. It was rare when these maternal urges led her to prevent some potential danger or led to the discovery that the children were doing something they shouldn’t be. Usually she would see that everything was in order, and she would return with peace of mind to whatever she might have been doing. She recalled the countless times she had risen from a comfortable bed to peek in on her children, just to be assured that they were sleeping soundly. She would touch their soft hair and press an undetected kiss to their little faces, then return to her bed with the assurance that all was well.

Abbi’s children were fully grown. Her daughters had children of their own, and Erich had long ago passed the age of needing his mother to check up on him. But recent events had put her on edge, just as they had the rest of the family. Though, for her, the maternal instinct had resurfaced harshly. She couldn’t deny the vaguest urge to see that he was safe, hoping perhaps that she could somehow prevent whatever horrible thing might happen to end his life prematurely. She put the matter into God’s hands, knowing that she was not capable of changing a man’s mortal destiny. But on the chance that God might prompt her to do something to make a difference, she could not deny her feelings.

Abbi cursed having to live in this huge castle as she searched for half an hour, wondering where he could be or if they had inadvertently crossed paths. She began to feel panicked, fearing that something truly was wrong, and at the same time scolding herself for her paranoia.

She opened the door to the library, expecting it to be as unoccupied as every other room she’d peeked into. Then she sucked in her breath to see a booted leg draped over the back of one of the sofas. Quietly she closed the door and crept closer. A smile absorbed her to see Erich and Kathe tangled together, sleeping soundly. Relief rushed out with a long sigh, and she indulged in just watching them. Their love for each other was evident in the way they clung together, even in sleep. Knowing the feelings she shared with Cameron, it wasn’t difficult to imagine what they were struggling with right now. Her heart could break on their behalf if she thought too deeply of the conflicts they were enduring. But for the moment there was nothing but peace surrounding them, and she prayed in her heart that they would be able to sustain each other enough to get through whatever lay ahead.

Abbi moved close enough to touch her son, unable to resist the urge to push her fingers through his curls like she’d done when he was a child. He was oblivious to her touch as she bent and pressed a gentle kiss to his brow. She watched him for a long moment, then felt suddenly like a guilty child when Kathe opened her eyes and looked up, as if she’d sensed someone there.

Abbi brought a finger to her lips, indicating that she stay as she was and not wake Erich. She slipped quietly out of the room, leaning for a couple minutes against the outside of the library door, grateful for a moment of complete tranquility in the midst of all this madness.

Kathe stayed until late, feeling as if each minute ticking away was bringing her closer to doom. While Georg waited to escort her home, she and Erich found it difficult to say good-bye. Once at home and alone in her own room, Kathe finally let her emotion spill without restraint. She was grateful that her father left her to herself. There was nothing he could say or do. In her heart, she honestly wondered if she would ever see Erich again.

Erich stood in the courtyard for several minutes after Kathe had ridden away with Georg. It was almost tempting to wish that he’d never met her. If he had never known the fulfillment and joy she’d given him, he wouldn’t be feeling the intensity of this heartache. But how could he possibly regret what she had brought into his life? The thought of his life ending without ever experiencing such things was devastating. Attempting to balance it all out in his head, he could only feel poignancy and confusion.

Long after they normally would have gone to bed, Erich, his parents, and Georg were sitting in the office, quietly discussing the details of their plan. Georg had already talked privately with Theodor, instructing him to go about his day normally, making it appear as if Erich were still there. When there was nothing more to talk about, Cameron went with Erich to pack his things. He insisted on not letting Erich go anywhere in the castle alone that he might be a part of his regular routine. The debris had been cleaned out of his room, but the damage was still evident.

It was almost midnight when they quietly went to Stefan’s room and found him sleeping. Erich held the child’s hand a few minutes, wondering if he had any idea of the bond they shared. Cameron then led the way to Han and Maggie’s room and knocked quietly at the door.

“What?” Han pulled the door open abruptly. “Is Stefan—”

“He’s fine,” Cameron insisted. “We were just there. We need to talk to you.”

Han motioned him inside where Maggie was tying on a wrapper. “What’s going on?” she demanded.

“Erich came to say good-bye,” Cameron stated after he’d closed the door. At their astonished expressions, he added, “Until something can be done about this, we’re not going to risk his being here any longer.”

“Where are you going?” Maggie asked Erich, with no effort to disguise her concern.

Erich glanced at his father, not certain what to say.

“That’s irrelevant,” Cameron said. “I can assure you he will be safe . . . for the time being. While he is gone, we will manage to make it appear to the servants that he is still here, and they just won’t happen to see him. Theodor is doing the majority of making his room look used, and his meals eaten, but we will need to do our part. Is that understood?”

“But won’t they see him leave?” Maggie asked.

“No,” was all Cameron said. “Now go back to bed,” he nodded toward Han and Maggie. “And keep a close eye on the children.”

Han nodded firmly as Cameron peered carefully into the hall. They each embraced Erich before he and Cameron slipped quietly out of the room.

Cameron felt a degree of relief to know that Erich was safely tucked away, and making it appear that he was still around kept the family occupied. Stefan made remarkable progress in his recovery, but Han and Maggie kept a close eye on him, as well as the other children. The children were not left without a member of the family close by, and precautions were taken with everything that Stefan ate or drank.

Kathe continued to visit the castle regularly, grateful for Maggie’s companionship in these days without Erich. She appreciated Maggie’s attitude that it was only temporary, and eventually this would be over and they would be reunited. Though they had not been told where Erich was, Cameron reported daily that he was doing fine.

“Where do you suppose he is?” Maggie asked Kathe one evening while they were having coffee after dinner.

Kathe had wondered if Erich might be at the lodge where he had taken her during the storm. But he’d said it was a secret, and she didn’t dare say anything about it, even among the family. She focused her attention mostly on the tatting that kept her busy in quiet moments, and she was relieved when Han answered for her.

“I have no idea. And I’m equally baffled by how your father got him out of the castle without being seen. He manages to keep in touch with him daily, without leaving the castle himself.”

“Why don’t you ask him?” Maggie inquired.

“If he wanted me to know, he’d have told me by now. I’m certain we’ll find out sooner or later.”

“Of course, Father is preoccupied with other things,” Maggie said to Han. “And your father has hardly shown himself lately.”

“I believe the duke has him busy. It seems that Rolf Grimm’s death did little more than slow down this revolution business. We have word that something big is in the making.”

“Do you really think it could happen?” Maggie asked, instinctively pressing a protective hand over the baby growing within her. “I mean that a . . . a revolution could overthrow Father and . . .” She trailed off, not wanting to voice what it meant to them as a family.

“Right now,” Han said, “it doesn’t look good.”

Maggie met his eyes solemnly, and they both turned to Kathe, who appeared to be lost in despair as she set the tiny shuttle aside and wrung her hands together tensely.

“You’re not doing so well these days,” Han said, snapping Kathe out of a daze.

She managed a smile. “Oh, I’m all right . . . considering.”

Maggie reached over and took Kathe’s hand. “I’m certain everything will be fine.”

“I pray,” she answered quietly, and then her tone lightened. “At least Stefan is doing much better.”

“So good,” Han chuckled, “he can hardly tolerate being in bed all the time. I’ve told him every story I know a dozen times.”

“Karl keeps asking about him,” Kathe said. “Perhaps he could come with me tomorrow and keep Stefan entertained.”

“That’s a splendid idea,” Maggie replied. “Franz’s son Russy has been spending a lot of time with him.” Kathe knew that Franz was one of the servants who had worked closely with the family for most of his life, and Russy was one of the children who went to school with Maggie’s children. “And Stefan certainly likes Russy, but he’s such a quiet child. I think that Karl and Stefan are more suited to each other.”

“I dare say there’s a good balance in his life between the two,” Han added.

“There is something Karl keeps asking me that I should talk to you about,” Kathe said. “He wants to give Stefan a gift, but it’s a bit unusual. I should ask your permission first.”

“Let’s hear it,” Han said with enthusiasm.

“Well, Little Karl has a friend down the street with a litter of puppies and . . .” She stopped when Han grinned. “Does that mean it’s all right?”

“I think it’s a splendid idea,” Han said.

“Just as long as you clean up after it,” Maggie added to her husband.

The following day, Kathe brought her nephew to see Stefan, and Karl paraded into the young prince’s bedroom with a big box that he placed before him like a royal treasure.

“A gift?” Stefan said with wide eyes. “For me?”

“Of course it’s for you,” Karl replied. “So open it, Your Royal Highness.” He used the title facetiously.

“Be polite,” Kathe admonished, but Han glanced at Maggie and smiled.

Stefan pulled the lid from the box and his eyes went wider. He laughed as he put his hands inside and pulled out the wiggling puppy.

“I love him!” Stefan exclaimed, and he both laughed and grimaced as the puppy licked his face. “Can I keep him in my room?” he asked. “Can I, Papa?”

“We already talked to Ruthild, and she said it would be fine. Ruthild’s family always had dogs, and she tells me she knows very well how to care for them.”

“Oh, thank you, Karl,” Stefan said, and Karl beamed.

“His name is Lucky,” Karl declared, and the adults left Karl and Stefan in the care of Lucky.

Kathe sat busily tatting in the parlor of her home. Theodor peered in, startling her, “I’m taking Karl to the castle. Do you want to ride along?”

“No, thank you,” she said, concentrating more intently on her work. “I’m not going today.”

Theodor sat down beside her. “Are you all right?”

Kathe glanced at him sharply. She wanted to snap at him and tell him to mind his business. But his concern was so genuine she could only shake her head quickly, hardly daring to speak.

“This is difficult for you,” he said.

“Difficult?” She tossed her work aside and pressed a hand over her eyes. “I can’t go up there and smile and pretend that everything’s all right, while I wonder if I’m ever going to see him again. I can’t do it!”

“I believe you’ve made this easier for Her Grace, if nothing else.”

Kathe sighed. “And she has been there for me, I know. But I just can’t go today. I can’t.”

“I understand.” Theodor stood to leave the room, pausing to ask, “Is there anything I can do?”

Kathe thought about it. “Actually . . . if you will tell Abbi . . . Her Grace . . . that I’ll see her soon. Just tell her I’m a little under the weather. She’ll understand.”

Theodor nodded and left the house, taking Little Karl with him. Kathe attempted to continue her tatting, but her thoughts became more and more absorbed with fear, and longing, and heartache. She finally put her work away, needing a distraction. She took to scrubbing the kitchen floor, even though the new housekeeper her father had hired strongly protested. When that was finished, she figured she’d better stay out of the woman’s way or they’d be at odds. So she spent the afternoon in the garden, but even that had lost its fulfillment as she ached to be with Erich. She paused more than once to gaze toward the mountains, wondering if he was there, as lonely and afraid as she.

Late in the evening, Kathe wandered to her father’s workshop where he was busily engaged in finishing some custom orders.

“How is it going?” she asked, fidgeting idly with an assortment of carved boxes he’d made.

“Not as quickly as I would like it to,” he replied. “It always seems to go this way. Either I don’t have enough work, or I have too much.” When Kathe said nothing more, he asked, “And how are you, my dear?”

“I . . . miss him,” she admitted. “It’s as simple as that.”

“And you’re afraid,” he stated.

“Yes.”

Karl put down his work and turned to look at her. “And tell me, Kathe, if you were to go back and start over, knowing what you know now, would you have done it any differently?”

Kathe looked her father in the eye, saying without any hesitancy, “No. Even if I never saw him again, I wouldn’t trade what we’ve shared . . . not for anything.” She hurried to wipe away her tears.

“I’m glad to hear you say that, Kathe. You’ve followed your heart, and it’s taken courage, I know. But that man’s put life back into you, girl. Don’t you ever forget the way he made you feel, and what you were willing to do to have a life with him.”

“And what if my life with him is over?”

“Katherine,” he leaned forward and pressed his hands together, “it’s not over until you stop loving him; until you stop living for him. Do you think my life with your mother is over?” He smiled slightly. “Oh, no. I live for her. I live the way she would want me to live. But Erich is still very much alive, Kathe. It’s not over.”

Kathe lay awake far into the night, contemplating everything her father had said, trying to put all the pieces together and make sense of it. She could not predict or control the future. She had no regrets concerning the past. But what of now? Now . . . Erich was alone, probably in that lodge this very minute, and . . .

Kathe gasped aloud as the idea erupted into her head. At first it seemed preposterous, but as she milled it around a little, the risks seemed irrelevant in balance to the present circumstances.

It only took a few minutes for Kathe to throw a change of clothes and a few personal things into a bag. She pulled on a practical skirt and blouse and threw a lightweight gray cloak around her shoulders. Going quietly downstairs, she slipped into the library to leave her father a note.

I’ve gone to follow my heart. I hope to be away a few days. Please don’t worry. All my love, Kathe.

Excitement pumped through her veins as she saddled her horse and went as quietly as possible up the long drive. A partial moon gave her enough light to see where she was going without being so bright as to make her conspicuous. She wondered as she started across the foothills if someone might have connected her to Erich and be watching her. She discreetly doubled back after going through the covered bridge and waited for several minutes in the shadows to be certain she wasn’t being followed. She did the same thing after entering the forest, and once more upon reaching the high meadow. She felt confident that her leaving had gone undetected as she searched for the opening in the rock wall. She found it more quickly than she’d expected to, and laughed aloud as she pulled the thicket back and guided the horse through. She turned back to cover the entrance, then moved carefully up through the crevice. Recalling Abbi’s story of Cameron finding her in the snow, she realized now that this was where Abbi had nearly frozen to death.

Kathe’s heart was beating almost painfully when the lodge appeared in the moonlight, and she halted the horse abruptly just to look at it. What would she do now if he wasn’t here? She felt briefly afraid, but then she recalled that only Georg and Erich’s parents knew of this place. And the last she knew, they were all at the castle. Drawing courage, she took her horse into the little stable and managed to find a lamp and light it. She laughed with relief to find a stallion there. Although it wasn’t Erich’s; she figured they had wanted his absence to go undetected, so his own horse would have remained at the castle.

Kathe removed the saddle and secured her horse in a stall with food and water, and then she doused the lamp, closed up the stable, and moved stealthily to the lodge. The door was locked as she had expected. Knowing she only had one option, she took a deep breath and pounded hard with her fist, hoping she wouldn’t regret this. She waited a minute then pounded again. She heard vague signs of movement on the other side of the door, but it didn’t open. Trying to read what he might be thinking, she wondered if he might be afraid to open it, uncertain of who it was.

“Erich,” she called. “Please tell me you’re in there. It’s me, Kathe.” She knocked again. “Please, Erich. If you—”

The door opened so abruptly it startled her. For a moment she felt uncertain, unable to see anything but a shadow. Then she heard him laugh.

“What in heaven’s name are you doing here?” Erich pulled her inside and slammed the door. He laughed again as he latched the door and pressed her against it, kissing her wildly, touching her face, her hair. She wrapped her arms around him and laughed from the pure joy of being with him.

“I had to see you,” she murmured. “I couldn’t bear it another day. I was careful to make certain I wasn’t followed.”

He kissed her again. “You are an answer to my prayers, my darling Katherine. I thought I would die without you.” He lifted her into his arms and carried her up the stairs, his familiarity of the lodge guiding him through the darkness.

Kathe laughed as he tossed her onto the bed, and immediately he was beside her. For the moment nothing mattered beyond his kiss, his touch, his presence. She had believed that their time together previously could not be bettered, but the intensity of their emotions only enhanced the experience. And then she drifted into a perfectly contented sleep, wrapped in Erich’s love, wishing that time could stand still.

Erich woke to bright daylight, alone in the bed. He sat up abruptly, his heart pounding with panic. Had she left? Had he dreamed it? Then he saw her shoes on the floor and collapsed back onto the bed with a sigh. While he was relishing in the reality that she was here with him, he heard noises in the kitchen below. He hurried to get dressed and went quietly down the stairs, peeking around the corner to see her stirring something at the stove.

Kathe screamed and then laughed when Erich took hold of her from behind. “Must you sneak up on me like that?” she growled in mock anger, and she laughed again.

Erich pulled her back against his chest and nuzzled his face into her hair. “I feared it had only been a dream,” he whispered.

“If you dreamt it,” she said, “it was a premonition.” She turned in his arms, and he kissed her warmly.

“I fear that breakfast will burn,” she said when he finally set her lips free.

“Surely you didn’t come all the way up here to cook for me,” he smiled.

“No,” she laughed, turning back to the stove, “but we have to eat. And if what I found in that pan this morning is any indication of your cooking abilities, you could starve without me.”

“I won’t argue with that.”

They sat at a little table to eat a simple breakfast, mostly in silence, until Erich asked, “How long can you stay?” When she didn’t answer right away, he added, “Not nearly long enough.”

“Well,” she said, trying to be positive, “I know your parents want me to keep appearing at the castle for the time being. So far it’s been working, I suppose. No one seems to have noticed that you’re gone. But honestly, I just couldn’t spend another hour there without you . . . not without some rejuvenation,” she finished with a smile.

“So, how long can you stay?” he asked again.

“I don’t think the world is going to end if I’m not in Horstberg for a few days.”

Erich closed his eyes momentarily in relief. “And what of your father?” he asked.

“Are you trying to talk me out of staying?” she asked.

“Heavens no!” he exclaimed. “But I have enough people trying to kill me without getting on your father’s bad side.”

Kathe attempted to take it as he’d meant it—lightly. She forced a smile. “I left him a note. I told him I’d gone to follow my heart. Believe it or not, I think he’ll understand.”

“Yes, I believe he will.” He took her hand across the table and pressed it to his lips. “I wish it would snow, good and hard.”

She laughed. “It’s not even autumn yet.”

“I know, but if we could arrange getting snowed in here together, there wouldn’t be anything anyone could do about it until May.”

“It’s a nice thought,” she said. “But for now, I will be content with what we have.”

Erich smiled, albeit sadly. “I love you, Kathe. I’m so glad you came.”

She laughed. “I’m glad you’re glad. I didn’t want to make things worse.”

“Not for me, you haven’t.”

They finished breakfast and cleaned the dishes together. Erich purposely splashed water on Kathe repeatedly, and she retaliated until they were both soaked.

“My dear woman,” he said when the last dish was finally wiped dry and put away, “you mustn’t wander around all wet like that.”

“And why not?” she asked, tossing the dirty water out the window.

“Because it’s driving me mad,” he growled and pulled her into his arms. She laughed as he kissed her, and they spent the remainder of the day just being together as if nothing else existed. Together they prepared a meal in the evening and shared it. When the kitchen was cleaned, they walked together out to the stable to see that the horses were cared for. He showed her the pigeons kept there and explained how they were used for communication as he tied a message onto one of them and it flew away.

“What did the message say?” she asked.

“It’s just to let them know I’m fine. I’m supposed to indicate that I’m alive every so many hours.”

“And what do they tell you?” she asked.

“That nothing has changed,” he stated. “But I don’t want to talk about that.”

They sat together near the lodge and watched the stars come out.

“It’s a beautiful night,” she said.

Erich pulled her closer and arched his head to look skyward. “Yes,” he admitted, “it’s a perfect night. Although,” he laughed, “I think I would prefer snow.”

“Where do you suppose Kathe is?” Cameron asked at the breakfast table when there were no servants in the room.

“She probably couldn’t bear being here without Erich,” Maggie commented. “I can’t say that I blame her. This place has begun to feel like a monastery.”

“I hope she’s not ill,” Abbi said. “Perhaps I should go and see her.”

“That would be fine,” Cameron said. “But go in a carriage and take Georg with you.” Abbi agreed to the precautions, but when she and Georg arrived at the Lokberg residence, Kathe wasn’t there.

“I’m sorry you missed her,” Karl said with no apology as he showed them into the parlor.

“May I ask where she is?” Abbi asked.

“You certainly may,” Karl replied, “but I’m afraid I can’t tell you.”

Abbi and Georg exchanged a concerned glance.

“Excuse me,” Karl said, leaving the room. He returned only a moment later and handed Abbi a piece of paper.

Abbi read aloud for Georg’s benefit, “‘I’ve gone to follow my heart. I hope to be gone a few days. Please don’t worry. All my love, Kathe.’”

Abbi looked over at Karl as he said, “I assume she is with Erich . . . wherever that may be.”

“When did she leave?” Abbi asked.

“The night before last.”

Again Abbi exchanged a glance with Georg.

“Well,” Georg said, “as long as she wasn’t followed, I don’t see any harm in her being there a few days. And I’m certain she would have been careful.”

“When was the last time you heard from him?” Abbi asked.

“Just before we left,” Georg reported. “Everything was fine.”

“I don’t suppose it’s any of my business where they are,” Karl said. “I just want to know that she’s all right.”

“If she’s with Erich,” Georg said, “she’s all right.”

They stayed to talk with Karl for nearly an hour, and Abbi was relieved to know that Kathe’s father was supportive of the circumstances when he could have easily been angry to have his daughter involved in such a precarious situation.

Cameron wasn’t happy to learn that Kathe had likely gone to the lodge, but Abbi reminded him of how all of this must feel to Erich, and he finally relented that it was good for them to be together.

Abbi kept a prayer in her heart for them, wishing only that this nightmare could be over and her son could be married and find some happiness beyond this. They needed a miracle.

Han sat just outside the door, watching the children play in the castle gardens. He was briefly drawn into nostalgia as he watched them climb a tree that he had often climbed with Erich as a child. Occasionally Maggie and Sonia had joined them. The tree had grown bigger, but the children’s laughter felt familiar, and the memories kept him from thinking too hard about this smoldering fear that his sons’ lives were in danger. While Maggie stayed upstairs with Stefan, he had relinquished his work to his father and the duke so that he could keep an eye on the other children. Little Karl was currently in the tree with Gerhard and Hannah. Theodor’s son had been spending a great deal of time with Stefan, but Maggie had suggested that he should get out for some fresh air with the other children, while Stefan got some rest. As they laughed and scurried through the leafy branches, Han had to admit it was a good idea. And then he heard the limb crack, only an instant before he saw a child fall. It happened so fast that he didn’t know whether it was Karl or Gerhard until he’d run across the lawn to where Hannah and Gerhard were scrambling down from the tree.

“Are you hurt?” Han asked Little Karl, but the child was fighting so hard to catch his breath, he could neither speak nor cry.

Hannah and Gerhard both started to cry as Han carefully scooped Karl into his arms, praying inwardly that he was all right. Within minutes Theodor was with his son, and Karl had regained his breath enough to make it clear that he was hurting badly.

“I am so sorry,” Han said while they waited for the doctor.

“What are you apologizing for?” Theodor retorted, rocking Karl back and forth.

Han pushed a hand abruptly through his hair. “Every time something happens, I tell myself it has to be the last. This place is like a battleground. It’s no place for children to be playing.”

“He’ll be fine, I’m sure,” Theodor said, smiling through his concern. But a few minutes later Georg came to report that it was evident the branch had been purposely weakened.

“Blast!” Han snarled. “We’re lucky it didn’t kill him.”

The doctor repeated the same when he saw how far the child had fallen. It was determined that Little Karl had a broken arm and a few cracked ribs, which pained him terribly. While the arm was being set, Han waited in the hall with Theodor.

“I feel awful about this,” Han said. “If I had—”

“Listen,” Theodor interrupted, “you people have treated me nearly like family since my wife died. I don’t want to see my son hurting more than any other father, but I’m grateful he’s all right, and I’m not going to begrudge or regret the opportunity he’s had to be with your children.”

“But with everything that’s been happening, I shouldn’t have—”

“Han,” Theodor put a hand on his arm, “we’re in this together. I’m sure my sister would agree.”

Han nodded, knowing there was nothing to undo what had been done. Still, he couldn’t help wishing he’d kept the children closer, safer. But what could he do? Lock them in a closet? It was all so ridiculous.

The children were upset over the incident long after Theodor had taken Little Karl home. Han just cuddled with them on Stefan’s bed and told them a long story while Maggie gazed out the window, her brow furrowed with concern. He wanted to tell her everything would be all right, but he wasn’t so sure.

“Snow would be nice,” Kathe said, laying her head against Erich’s shoulder, warm water lapping against her throat. Erich had one leg hanging out of the bathtub, his arms wrapped tightly around her.

“A lot of it,” Erich added.

“Do you ever think about what it might have been like for your parents when they were snowed in here?”

“I’ve thought about it a great deal lately,” he admitted. “I can’t imagine how my father survived here for three years before my mother showed up. I was already close to insane when you showed up.”

“So was I,” she said. “I don’t want to leave, Erich.”

“Then don’t,” he insisted. “I can’t think of one good reason why you shouldn’t stay. We can send a message and have them let your father know you’re all right. I suspect he’s already figured out that I’ve compromised you.”

They reluctantly got out of the tub when the water began to cool, and then Kathe packed a picnic and they went to the upper meadow to spend the afternoon, lounging in a mass of wild-flowers while the horse grazed nearby. When they returned to the stable, there was a message waiting. Kathe saw Erich go tense as he read it.

“What?” she demanded.

Erich glanced at her, concern showing in his eyes, and he cleared his throat to read aloud, “Coming for Kathe at midnight. Don’t—”

“How did they know I was here?”

“Do you think it would be so difficult to figure out?”

Kathe sighed. “Go on,” she insisted.

“Don’t let her come down alone.” They exchanged a sharp glance, and he continued, “She is needed. Karl has been hurt.”

“What?” she gasped. “Which one? My father or—”

“It doesn’t say. That’s it.” He handed it to Kathe, and she read it again as if she could somehow make sense of it. She looked into Erich’s eyes, so torn that she nearly felt physical pain. When tears crept into her eyes, she hurried toward the lodge, not wanting him to see them. She sat on the edge of the bed and let the tears fall, wondering what had happened at home, wondering if she would ever see Erich again beyond this day. She became so lost in thought, she was surprised to look up and see Erich standing there. He lifted one hand to wipe away her tears. She bowed her head forward when the tears wouldn’t cease.

Seeing the evidence that Kathe shared his anguish, Erich found it impossible to hold back his own emotion. The full spectrum of his circumstances swept together and hit him square in the chest. Succumbing to weakness, he went to his knees and pressed his face into the folds of her skirt, crying like a child. He cried without restraint until the emotion merged into a numb helplessness, and he sat on the floor with his head in her lap while she idly trailed her fingers through his hair and over his face. With every fiber of his being, he wanted to tell her that they would get beyond this, that they would have a life together. But in his heart he didn’t believe it. If they had anything beyond these moments together, he would be grateful. But if he combined logic with his feelings, he had to admit that he doubted he would ever see her again.

“Kathe,” he said without looking at her, “if I don’t make it through this, you must—”

“You have to make it through this,” she insisted. But he looked up at her with such intense sadness in his eyes, she had to turn away.

“Kathe, listen to me.” He took both her hands into his. “I’m not claiming to be able to predict the future, but I know what my heart is telling me. And I can’t sit here and pretend that I have anything more to give you than what I already have.”

“I’m not giving up that easy,” she cried.

“I’m not giving up, Kathe. I just have to tell you that whatever happens, you must never—ever—forget what we shared.”

Kathe looked into his eyes, trying to absorb the full depth of what he was trying to tell her. The emotion bubbled out of her like a volcanic eruption. “How could I possibly?” she murmured and fell apart.

“You must go on, Kathe. Promise me.”

“My life is yours, Erich,” she cried. “I’ll do whatever you tell me to do.”

“Then you must live, Kathe—with or without me. Find happiness and purpose. You must promise me.”

Kathe shook her head, crying uncontrollably, not willing to admit this might be their final hours together. Erich took her by the shoulders and shook her gently, nearly shouting in her face, “Promise me, dammit! The only thing that makes this bearable is knowing that you will find peace without me if that’s what it comes to. Do you hear what I’m telling you?”

“I can’t live without you!” she muttered. “I can’t!”

“You might have to!” he said through clenched teeth. “Now, promise me!”

Kathe compelled herself to nod, whimpering forcefully, “I promise.”

She collapsed into his arms, and they held each other and cried. He made love to her with a desperation that far surpassed anything he’d ever experienced in his life. Then he held her close to him, surrounded by an almost deathly silence as the time ticked away, like the calm before the storm.