Bloody hell.
Furious with herself, Jeanie stomped up the street, her suitcase full of clothes she’d never wear again banging against her leg with every step.
She just needed to accept what she’d got and stop chasing rainbows. There were thousands of people who would give anything to be in her position, the possibility of a modeling contract and all it entailed but no, it wasn’t enough for her. She’d been sucked in by Xander-bloody-Fitzgerald and his rose tinted lenses. Her few days in Sydney had been nothing more than a sneak peek at the lives of the rich and famous. A life she wasn’t destined to be part of and didn’t want — not if it had anything to do with Billy Westward. She belonged here in Oldbridge with Gran at the café. It was time she counted her blessings.
Only fools made the same mistake twice and she had no intention of being a fool for a third time. Never again was she going to let her heart rule her head, no matter how much she wanted a part of the action.
“Hey, Jeanie! You’re home.”
She ground to a halt and plastered a halfhearted smile on her face. “Hello, Mr. Brown. Had a good day?”
“Had a great day, Jeanie. The place has been absolutely jumping and we owe you a big thank you.”
“Me? Why?”
“The magazines. Fred at the news agency had to order a third lot. Everyone’s bought one.” He stepped closer and took hold of her spare hand, pumping it up and down until she thought it would fall off. “Good on you, love. Nice to see one of our own make good.”
“Thanks, Mr. Brown.” Had she truly thought she would be able to sit on a train for two hours and forget all about the last week? Pie in the sky — just like all her other fantasies. “I better get going. I want to see Gran.”
“And she could do with a bit of a hand too. She’s exhausted — been rushed off her feet.”
Jeanie’s stomach sank. “She’s all right, isn’t she?”
“Oh yes, she’s fine, but the place has been busy. All those cars coming off the freeway for a bit of a sticky beak.”
“Why? Whatever for?”
“The café’s getting quite a name for itself, especially with them grey nomads in their big vans. Want to have their picture taken on your stool. Doing an imitation of Jeanie Baker for their photo albums, they are.”
“I am surprised, but if it’s been good for business then I guess we can’t complain. I must get going. I’ll catch up with you soon.”
Jeanie extricated herself and adjusted her suitcase, trying to sort out the jumble of thoughts racing around in her head. Too much had happened. She sucked in a great lungful of air and then exhaled slowly as her whole body absorbed the smell of coffee and passionfruit wafting down the street. Almost running, she pushed through the plastic strips and into the café, “Gran, I’m home!” she called out.
The sound of polite applause broke out and she dropped her suitcase and stared in bewildered amazement around the café. The tables were full, even the stools at the counter were occupied. She recognized a few old faces but there were quite a lot she’d never seen before. Not locals — maybe Mr. Brown was right about the influx of grey nomads.
She cleared her throat and gave a tight wave, a bit like the Queen, she thought with a grimace, and then she was enveloped in a floury lemon scented hug and she found her chin resting on her grandmother’s head. Her heartbeat slowed to a reasonable pace for the first time in days.
“Hello, darling. Let me look at you.” Norma straightened her arms, obviously not quite ready to let go, and gazed up into Jeanie’s face. “You’re tired. Did you have a bad trip? Why didn’t you ring me and tell me when you’d be home? You needn’t have walked from the station.”
Jeanie gazed down at the familiar face, determined not to burst into tears in front of the captivated audience. Gran might have got smaller over the years, but she was still her haven. Jeanie could tell she’d been working hard; she’d got the collapsed crumpled sort of look she got when she was tired, but she still had her pinny on smiling her welcoming smile, promising everything would be all right.
“Don’t fuss, Gran. The walk was fine and I am a bit tired; it’s because I’ve been up since six. It’s been a busy day and I didn’t get too much sleep last night.”
God, was it only last night?
This had to be one of the longest days of her life. She wasn’t about to explain exactly why or how it had been so exhausting, certainly not in front of all these people.
“Go and put your bags upstairs and I’ll make you a nice cuppa. I’m just about to shut up shop.” Norma planted her hands firmly on her hips and stared around the room. There was a general scraping of chairs and a bit of a mumble and people started to leave. One woman sneaked onto the stool by the mirror, her partner taking a quick snap. Jeanie couldn’t help smiling as the woman sat leaning forward on the stool biting her nails.
Terrific.
Who’d have thought Jeanie Baker would set a trend for nail biting? She shook her head and eased past the fridges into the corridor, stopping to give Coco’s ears a ruffle before she climbed the narrow staircase to her bedroom.
She threw her suitcases down on the bed and rummaged in the wardrobe for a comfy pair of trousers and shirt. She couldn’t wait to get downstairs again and talk to Gran, find out what had happened while she’d been away and just settle back into real life and put Xander, Sydney, and Billy Westward behind her.
Once she’d run a brush through her hair she followed the sweet smell down the stairs. The click of the front door and Gran’s cheerful farewell signaled the last customers leaving. Giving the counter a quick pat, she slid onto a stool ready with a mountain of questions.
Norma beat her to it. “So my darling, tell me everything. Start and the beginning and don’t stop until you get to the very end, and leave nothing out.” Norma’s eyebrows disappeared into her grey curls and the toffee eyes studied her face.
Jeanie squirmed knowing she’d have to make it good. She was going to have to pick her words very carefully. She had absolutely no intention of giving Norma all the details — certainly not the bit where she’d ended up in bed with Billy Westward’s business partner. “It sounds as though you’ve got plenty to tell me too, Gran. Mr. Brown said the place has been a hive of activity since you got back.”
“Oh, and it has, it has indeed.” Norma wiped her hands on her pinny and then slid the cake knife under a huge piece of pie, depositing it with a quick flick neatly on a plate, and pushed it across to Jeanie. “It all started when the news agency got a delivery of magazines with your picture on the front. They sold out, every single one of them. Everybody came in to show me — and stayed for a cuppa and a piece of cake.”
Norma grinned like a Cheshire cat with the cream. “I had to keep the oven on all day. I sold out of pavs and lemon pies and then I just had to have tray loads of lamingtons and scones. Nobody minded. They just wanted to see where your picture had been taken and hear about the awards ceremony.”
Jeanie licked the last remaining bit of icing sugar from the corner of her lips and sighed with pleasure. Maybe there was something to Gran’s theory about low blood sugar because she was definitely beginning to feel better.
“And then the tourists started arriving. Turned out Wilma had put a sign up on the freeway — cheeky woman — Café Cinématique, home of Starstruck’s cover girl, and the rest is history. Now enough of my nonsense; tell me all about Sydney and the lovely Mr. Fitzgerald.”
Try as she may, Jeanie knew she wasn’t going to be able to control the scarlet flush swarming past her ears and slashing across her cheek bones. It threatened her entire body but there wasn’t much point in fighting it. Norma knew her too well. She’d already picked her discomfort.
“Did he take care of you the way he promised? I’ll have his hide if he didn’t. He promised me, you know. Such a nice man.”
“Yes, Gran, he did, but we were very busy. It wasn’t at all as I imagined.” She hadn’t imagined falling in love and neither had she imagined that Billy Westward would reappear on the scene, but she still hadn’t had time to work it out. Now she was home, maybe she could make sense of it all. “We were up and out by five-thirty in the morning. Starstruck magazine comes out next month. It’s a ten page spread.”
“And are you pleased with the photographs? Have you brought some to show me?”
“No, Gran, I haven’t got any of them because they belong to the magazine, but they’re going to pay us for them and we’ll be paid for the use of the café. The money will be deposited into the account and you won’t have to worry about the mortgage for quite a while. You could do with a rest and I’m home now — ” Jeanie stopped mid sentence as Norma’s hands fluttered around in front of her face.
“That’s not what I want to hear, Jeanie Baker, and you know it. We’ll worry about money when the time comes. I want to know all about you and that lovely man.”
“There’s nothing to tell, Gran.” And actually he’s not as lovely as either of us thought. He’s just another Billy all over again and I was played for a fool. “He took me out for dinner and lunch.” She put her hand into her pocket and brought out the mobile phone. “And here’s my new mobile phone.” She placed it gently on the counter top and Norma eyed it suspiciously.
“That’s a telephone?”
“Yes, Gran, I’ve been calling you on it.”
Norma picked it up and turned it over in her hand, giving a little snort.
“It’s a camera too — see.” Jeanie took it from her and clicked a quick shot of Norma peering suspiciously at her. “There you are.” She turned the screen.
“Oh my goodness me, I look a fright.” Norma patted her hair down. “It’s a good job one of us is photogenic. Show me how it works. Go on. Ring the café and I’ll answer.”
Jeanie punched in the numbers as Norma stood impatiently in front of the wall phone. The silence was deafening. She peered down at the screen, frowning until she realized she had no reception.
“Oh Gran, I’m sorry, it won’t work here. There’s no reception.”
“New fangled load of rubbish. Wouldn’t do you much good if you were stuck out somewhere around here then would it?”
“No, I guess not.” Jeanie slipped it back into her pocket. It was an omen, definitely an omen. The phone wasn’t a part of her life here and never would be, just the same as Xander could never be a part of her real life. He and his business partner had a different set of values, and she didn’t want to have anything to do with them.
“You’re going to miss the high life. When’s he coming back to see you — or are you going back down to Sydney?”
“He won’t be coming up here, Gran. The photo shoot is over. It’s up to the magazine people now.”
“Don’t be silly, he’ll be coming up here to see you. He won’t be able to stay away. I can recognize that in a man. Just like Burt Lancaster and Deborah Kerr in From Here to Eternity.” She clasped her hands over her heart.
Jeanie’s cheeks flushed. “He won’t, Gran. It’s all finished now. He’s a fashion photographer surrounded twenty-four/seven by the world’s most gorgeous women. He’s not interested in me. I’ve just got to come to terms with the fact it was a fling, just a fling.” Just like the last time, with Billy, a foolish grab at a chance to be someone she wasn’t.
“Ah.” Norma’s voice held a note of triumph. “So there was a bit of a fling, was there? Such a perfect ending, another beautiful love story.”
“Gran. Stop. It’s not like that. We did have a bit of a fling but mostly because we were thrown together so much. It didn’t mean anything to him.”
But it broke my heart.
“But?”
Damn, Gran.
Jeanie gasped and shivered and suddenly she couldn’t stop herself. “I didn’t mean to fall in love with him and he’s definitely not in love with me, so the sooner I get my feet back on the ground the better it will be.” There, she’d said it. Got it out in the open. Now hopefully Norma would stop poking and picking and it might start to get better.
“Oh, darling. You’re selling yourself short just as you always do. I saw the way he was watching your every move. I know a man with love on his mind when I see one.”
“Gran. Stop.” Jeanie stood up and walked to the window, her arms crossed defensively in front of her. The sun was setting and the street had a strange orangey glow. A row of galahs sat on the telephone wires, still like pegs on a washing line.
“Even if he was in love with me — and he isn’t — I wouldn’t have anything to do with him or his business partner,” she mumbled to the galahs.
“I beg your pardon?” Norma was by her side in two seconds, arms folded just like Jeanie’s, a pair of doppelgangers glaring at the birds.
“His business partner.”
“I heard you. What’s his business partner got to do with it? You didn’t do anything silly, did you? I knew I shouldn’t have left you on your own in that big city.” She shook her head, little tutting sounds bouncing off the darkening window.
A wave of tension clutched at Jeanie’s chest. “I’m not going to make a fool of myself again. Once was enough. Xander’s business partner is Billy Westward and that’s the end of it. I’m not having anything to do with them.”
“Billy Westward?” Norma’s voice squeaked.
“Yes, Billy Westward. Except that he now calls himself William West, and his pimples have gone.”
“How do you know?”
“What? That his pimples have gone?” Resting her head against the cool glass of the window, Jeanie let out a long sigh. She didn’t want to have this conversation — in fact, given the opportunity, she would rather rewind her life a few weeks to a time before Xander Fitzgerald, photo shoots, and the possibility of a life that didn’t revolve around passionfruit pavlova and old movie posters.
“How can Billy Westward be his business partner? He left here after, well, you know when, and went to Sydn … ”
“Small world, isn’t it, Gran? Apparently it was Billy Westward who suggested the café for the photo shoot. It had nothing to do with Locations-R-Us.”
“Why would he do a thing like that?”
“I’ve got no idea.” Jeanie turned her back on the window. The lie didn’t sit easily and she knew Norma would spot it given half the chance, but somehow she had a feeling Billy Westward had known exactly what he was doing and the thought frightened her.
“But you don’t know the whole story. Have you given Xander a chance to tell his side of the story?”
“I don’t want to hear his side of the story.” The memory of Billy examining her, the cold, pale eyes raking her body was quite enough. She had no intention of listening to any explanations from Xander about why he was involved with Billy Westward. The way she had lain naked in Xander’s arms and told him all about Billy and what she had done made her cringe. “I’m not that desperate and I’m not going to be humiliated again — that’s it.” Her hand slashed through the air. “Over. Chalk it up to experience.”
“You’re just going to have to confront him and find out exactly what is going on just like — ”
“Gran, this isn’t a movie, this is real life.” That did it — Jeanie couldn’t hold on a moment longer. She was crying. Not great big gulping sobs, but a torrent of wet watery tears pouring down her face. This was weeping, she realized. The sort of thing a shattered heroine did. And she was shattered, no doubt about it. She wiped the back of her hand across her face but it did little to solve her problem. She couldn’t just wipe Xander away — she had fallen in love with him. And did he love her or was it just another Billy all over again? Surely she’d know if Xander truly cared for her. She paused, waiting for her heart to answer, but the silence was deafening. Then Gran pulled her into her arms and the great gulping sobs started.
• • •
Climbing into her flannelette pajamas Jeanie found almost as comforting as Gran’s arms around her, she patted the duvet and Coco jumped up and curled into the corner behind her knees just as she always did. Gran was such a support. It wasn’t because she agreed with everything. She was quite capable of telling her if she was wrong, but deep down, deep down inside she knew she had her best interest at heart. It was something to do with unconditional love.
Coco snuggled a bit closer, disturbed by the shaft of moonlight slanting across the bed. Jeanie wasn’t sure she wanted to close her eyes and go to sleep. The thought of another one of those anxiety dreams probably featuring Billy Westward with his supercilious smile and Armani suit flickered behind her eyelids just before she dropped off.