Chapter Nineteen

Gordan released his private nurse after his first week home. His checkup during his third week out of the hospital went so well, that he began taking walks in the garden with Cassy during the early evening hours.

It was later the following week when Gordan surprised Cassy by suggesting a ride into the countryside.

“Stop worrying,” he teased. “I’m fine.”

“I didn’t say a word. You’ve been out of the hospital a little over a month, and already you’re restless. Next week you will be telling me you’re ready to go back to work.”

He arched a brow in mock indignation. “You’ve hurt my feelings. I’ve been a model patient. I’ve taken my medication, rested as much as I can. Even my appetite has improved. I’ve made no complaints, and I’m not outraged that you won’t make love with me. And now, look what you accuse me of. Baby, I’m crushed. What’s wrong with a simple drive into the countryside?” He gestured toward the chauffeur. “Bradford’s at the wheel.”

“Do you expect me to believe that you didn’t talk business last weekend while your brother and Gordy were here?”

“I made you a promise and I’m keeping it. Stop worrying.” He leaned down to press a brief kiss to her cheek. His breathing was still not what he hoped, but he was much better than he had been on the day he was released.

“Poor Mr. Misunderstood.” Cassy laughed at his wounded expression, and Gordan couldn’t help joining in.

He gasped, pressing a hand to the incision on his chest. “Stop making me laugh; it hurts.”

Cassy pressed her lips to his cheek, before she said, “Sorry, baby. Does that make it better?”

He grinned roguishly. “A bit. Now if you climb on my lap and give me a little tongue...”

Cassy put her hand over his mouth. “Hush. Bradford might hear you.”

“Through the glass partition?” He chuckled. “I’ve got news for you, baby. He knows all about sex. Unlike me, he probably had some sweet loving last night,” he said close to her ear, before he placed a lingering kiss on the side of her throat. “I want you.”

Cassy shivered from the heat of his hot gaze, as well as the warmth of his hand moving under her wide-leg shorts to caress her inner thigh. He did not stop until he reached her lace-edged panties. She let out a gasp as he fingered the leg opening, before he gently squeezed her mound.

“Gordan!” She let out a soft moan.

“I might not be able to do anything about it. But that doesn’t mean I’m not still a man who adores his woman.”

“I want you, too,” she whispered. “Now behave yourself.” She held his hand in hers. Studying his twinkling dark eyes, she smiled. “You’re in an extremely good mood today, Mr. Kramer. What are you up to?”

“Now she wants to know all my secrets.”

“Absolutely. Tell me,” she urged.

He shook his head. “You’ll find out soon enough.”

“When?”

He glanced out the window, then he said, “Not long.” Gordan cradled her hand in his large, dark one. “Baby, I know these past couple of weeks have not been fun for you. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate you being with me.” He paused for breath, then said, “The plane crash has taught me to appreciate life in a new way. If nothing else, the crash, along with our separation, has given me a lot to think about. I’ve learned to cherish every moment we have together.”

“Gordan,’’ she said. Although warmed by his confession, she shook her finger playfully at him. “Now don’t get too serious on me.”

His forehead creased in a frown, but he said nothing more.

Cassy worried her bottom lip, suddenly fearful that she had hurt him, which was the last thing she wanted. But, she also knew she was not prepared to get into an in-depth discussion about their relationship.

She knew him. He would not be satisfied until she told him she no longer wanted to be married and have his baby. She could not lie to him. Why couldn’t he accept that she was with him because she loved him and leave it there?

It was not necessary to go over and over what could not be changed. She couldn’t help what she wanted, but she was wise enough, now, not to let it keep them apart.

Eventually, things were bound to change. He would go back to his work at the helm of Kramer Corporation. And she... She was not sure what she wanted to do. Perhaps she would open a pastry business that supplied his hotels. That was something to consider. Cassy assured herself that this time it would be different for them. She would be at his side. There would be no lengthy separations—no bitterness nor resentment.

If only he would leave the past in the past. Cassy suppressed a moan of frustration, resting her head on his left shoulder. It would work—it had to.

Bradford turned off onto a secondary road, and then onto another even smaller one, which finally turned into little more than a track that wound its way past a grove of coconut and palm trees, past a lovely meadow of wild flowers, then came to a dead end. They were forced to stop at the base of a gently rolling, tree-lined hill.

“Where are we? Why are we stopping?” She had certainly not expected this beautifully serene place. “Are we having a picnic lunch?”

“You’ll see.” He got out and held his left hand out to her. “Come on, let’s take a look around.”

Cassy slid out and stood beside him. “I don’t understand.”

What was he planning? Had he bought this property? Was he considering building here? It would be perfect for an apartment building or condominium complex. Judging from the sounds and the smell, the sea had to be close by. It was just the place that would appeal to his wealthy, high-profile clientele.

“Up ahead.” He took her hand and guided her up the hill. “Careful,” he said, cupping her elbow when her sandal slipped. Like him, she was dressed in navy cargo shorts and a sleeveless T-shirt, hers lavender, his white.

“What are you planning to build here—condos?”

Gordan smiled, but he did not answer. He continued on.

“Isn’t Bradford coming?” she asked, looking back to where the older man was lounging against the hood of the car.

“Nope, just you and me.” He gripped her waist when she slipped. “Did you hurt yourself?”

“I’m fine. But you’re out of breath. We should not be climbing hills.” She stopped to glare at him. “Must we go to the top of the hill? Why can’t you tell me here?”

“Only a few... more yards.”

“But, honey, you’re winded.”

After a few moments of slow, concentrated, deep breaths, he urged her forward. “It’s not much further.”

Cassy did not like it. But she could see by the set of his jaw that it was useless to argue with the man. He had something to show her and show her he would.

“What do you think?” he asked, once they had crested the hill.

“What a spectacular view! I can see the hotel and the pier from here.”

She was gazing out over the water, deep blue meeting the azure sky. “I love it! How did you find it? It certainly will be a wonderful place to build apartments or a condominium complex.”

As Gordan labored to catch his breath, he swallowed with difficulty. After a few moments, he said, “Do you love it enough to consider living here with me?”

She whirled around to face him. “In a condo? Of course.”

“Cassy, I’m not talking about condos. I want to build a house here. I want it to be our home.” He cupped her face. “A home where we can live and raise our child.”

Cassy’s eyes went wide. “What are you saying to me?”

“I’m asking you to marry me, Cassandra Mosley. I love you. And I’m not willing to risk losing you—not ever again.”

She could not find her voice in that instant if her life depended on it. She stared up at him in total shock. He could not have surprised her more if he’d said he was selling his hotels and moving to China.

“Baby, I want you. I want to make a life here on this island with you. If not here, then anywhere in the world you choose.” He paused to catch his breath before he went on to say, “Nothing is more important than your happiness and our being together—always. If you want to live in Oakland near your sister, then that can be arranged.”

“Gordan...” She stopped abruptly. She did not trust her own ears—could not believe what she’d just heard. “Say that again ...please.”

“I’m asking you to be my wife.”

“I don’t understand. Are you saying you’ve suddenly changed your mind?” she whispered, not bothering to conceal her bewilderment, her doubts.

She had waited so long to hear those words. She’s prayed for them. Now, suddenly, he was saying everything she wanted to hear. But, why? When she left the island she had given up all hope of marriage. Not until that horrible plane crash...The plane crash!

She nearly cried out in misery. This was not about love! It was about deep gratitude. How many times had he told her how much he appreciated her coming to him and seeing him through this ordeal?

Moving away, she turned her back so that he could not see her disappointment—her hurt. Could anything hurt her more?

“You’ve changed your mind.” It was all she could manage to get past the tears lodged in her throat.

“Yes. I’ve been trying to tell you for a while—even before I left the hospital. But you always stopped me,” he said, then stopped for a moment before he went on to say, “I was beginning to wonder if you’ve...decided against marriage?”

She should have seen it coming—expected it. The terrible accident had completely changed the course of their lives. She had given up all hope of more, while he had spent weeks in bed unable to do anything but think. But it was not about love. Cassy took a deep breath, desperately trying to clear her thoughts of emotions in order to make sense of all this.

“What caused you to change your mind?” she finally managed to ask.

“You did,” he said, tightly, his left hand moving beneath the sling to his plastered arm, which had suddenly started to ache.

The pain was nothing compared to his growing fears. He had expected surprise, but not the hurt and disappointment he’d seen on her pretty face. He went to stand behind her.

“I had plenty of time to think while I waited near the wreckage of the plane. I tried not to think of the pain as I struggled to breathe or my inability to get help. I couldn’t help John. I couldn’t help myself. He had me worried. He was unconscious. Although we both were flung clear, I could still feel the heat of the fire. We were there for what seemed like an eternity. There was nothing to do but wait, pray, and think—reflect on my mistakes.”

He hesitated a few moments before he went on to say, “There was that overwhelming sense of loss, pain, and emptiness deep inside that had been there since you left Martinique. I finally faced the truth.” He hesitated for breath, then said, “You were gone from my life and there was nothing I could do about it. I knew that if I survived, I had to get you back.” He took a deep breath, then added, “When I woke in the hospital, you were there. You had come to me—despite everything that had gone wrong between us. Your coming meant...everything to me.”

Oh, she knew it meant everything to him—so much so, that he was willing to give up his precious freedom to keep her. Cassy bit down hard on her bottom lip to hold back a sob as she struggled for control. She could have said she wanted him any way she could get him, but she did not. Suddenly she realized that wasn’t true. She needed to know he wanted her to marry him because he loved her just as much as she loved him—not simply to bind her to him due to a misplaced sense of gratitude. It had to be about love or he would someday come to resent her and that she could not bear.

He said, “There is something about a man facing his own mortality that makes him realize what really matters. You’re what matters to me.” His arm went around her waist and he eased her back against him. Gordan’s voice deepened when he said, “Baby, do you love me enough to be my wife—enough to give me that daughter I’ve been longing for, with your beautiful face and soft curls?” He kissed her nape. “Please.”

Cassy sobbed, shaking with anguish. She had waited so long—so long. It had never occurred to her that those precious words could hurt her this way.

“Cassy?” Gordan gently clasped her shoulders.

“I can’t,” she whimpered. “Gratitude may be enough for you, but it’s not enough for me. I don’t want that kind of marriage.”

He moved around her until he could look at her. Finally, he said in a hoarse whisper, “How can you say that? You know how I feel about you. How I have always felt about you.”

“I thought I did,” she said, wiping at her damp cheeks. She laughed, only the sound was filled with equal amounts of pain and bitterness. “Well, I got what I wanted. Only, I don’t want it this badly. You don’t have to marry me to keep me with you.” She would have walked back down the hill if he had not caught her arm. “Let me go.”

Gordan’s face was taut with frustration when he said through his teeth, “Never again.”

Looking down at the hand wrapped around her arm, she asked, “Do you plan on making me stay here?”

“I’m planning on doing whatever it takes to keep you in my life.”

There was a prolonged silence as they stared at each other.

Cassy was the first to speak, “That was clear by that marriage proposal you didn’t mean.” She flung the angry words at him while trying to divert her face. She was furious about the tears that would not stop trickling down her face.

“Look at me!” When she refused, Gordan whispered throatily, “Please, baby. Just listen to me.” The hand that held her arm began caressing her soft brown skin. Taking a deep breath, he said, “I meant every single word. I asked you to marry me for one reason and one reason alone. I am in love with you, Cassandra Mosley,” he paused for breath, “and I won’t stop asking you to be my wife, until you say yes.”

Cassy looked at him then, but her eyes were so full of tears that she couldn’t see him. “Gordan...” She nearly strangled on the word.

His left arm slid to her waist and he pulled her as close to his chest as his cast would allow. He gently kissed her temple.

“How can you doubt it? I started falling in love with you the first moment...I looked into your eyes that night you prepared that fabulous meal for my dinner guests.” Gordan stopped, taking a breath, then said, “I fell a little more each time I saw you after that. It hasn’t stopped, baby.”

His lips brushed against her hair before he said, “I didn’t think I could love you more...then on your birthday you throw your gift back in my face. But I was wrong.”

“Gordan...”

“Let me finish. Why do you think it hurt so much when you made love with me on the boat and then demanded I let you go? It was as if what we did didn’t mean to you what it meant to me.”

He didn’t give her time to respond, but then, even if he had, he would not have received one because her face was buried against the base of his throat.

He whispered, “I’m grateful that you came to me after the crash and stayed, despite our estrangement. Even though you...thought I would never remarry, you still came. And you’ve...agreed to remain without marriage.”

Gordan tightened his arm even more around her. He said, huskily, “And it made me love you more—something that I did not believe possible.” He stopped to catch his breath. “You’re nothing like Evie. I have no idea why I treated you as if you were. I didn’t even realize...that that was what I was doing until you pointed it out to...me on the terrace outside the jazz club. Do you remember that night, Cassy? You...were with Foster and I was furious.”

“Yes, I remember,” she murmured, leaning into him, needing his support.

“It was wrong of me to compare the two of you, and I regret it. Evie has never understood...what love means. I let my experience...with her blind me for years. You changed all that for me, baby.” He stopped, then said, after taking a deep breath, “You showed me what it means to love and be loved. I must have been...out of my mind to let you leave Atlanta without... talking this through. Maybe then I could have dealt with my fears about marriage. But, like a fool...I let you go, believing that you needed time to come around to my way of thinking.”

“It wasn’t all your fault. I was also to blame. I should have been straightforward about wanting to get married someday. But, for years, I was caught up in establishing my career. By then, years had passed. And I was afraid to bring it up, because I knew how you felt. On my birthday I realized I had no choice but to tell you.”

He chuckled. “I’m glad you didn’t tell me early on. I would probably...still be running from the best thing that has ever come into my life.”

Cassy pressed her mouth to his throat. “Gordan, I love you so much. But I want you to be sure this is what you want. I don’t want you to ever be sorry.”

“How could I be? I’ll have you.”

“Kiss me...”

He groaned, but eased back enough to look into her eyes. “No! I’m not letting you distract me this time. Will you marry me?”

“Yes, my love.”

His deep sigh of relief resonated through his chest. “Thank you,” he said, as he pressed his mouth against hers. “You’ll never regret it. I promise.”

Holding her close, he blinked back tears of profound joy. She had no idea how much her faith in him and willingness to forgive meant to him. But he intended to devote his life to making her happy.

Cassy could only hang on. She felt like a little girl on the merry-go-around. The knowledge that she loved and was loved in return made her so happy—more so than she could contain. When he first asked, all she could think of was that he had said nothing about love. How could she have forgotten, even for a second, how deeply they loved each other? It was what made all that they had been through worthwhile.

“If this property doesn’t please you, then we can keep right on looking until we find it.”

“No! I love it here. I can hardly wait!”

“Neither can I.” He laughed heartily, then moaned in pain.

Cassy pulled back to study his face. “You’re in pain. Why didn’t you say something? Let’s go back. We’ve been out too long as it is.”

Gordan grumbled halfheartedly in protest, but she was right. He was quickly losing his strength, his shoulder and arm were throbbing, and he was tired. As they made their way down the hill at a much slower pace, it was Cassy’s arms around his waist supporting him. When she realized that he was slipping, she yelled for Bradford to help.

Gordan didn’t like it, but he didn’t complain when Bradford helped him the rest of the way down and into the car.

“You okay?” Cassy was breathless as she scrambled in beside him. “Should we call the doctor.”

“Sorry. I’m...just...a little tired...Did...too...much,” Gordan managed to get out, breathing with difficulty.

“Hush,” she insisted. “Don’t talk.” She squeezed his hand, worry apparent on her small African features.

When he had caught his breath somewhat, he smiled at her. “No, doctor. I’m better. Come here.” Once she was rested along his left side with his arm around her, he let out a sigh, “That’s better.” For a time, he simply held her close. Then he said, “Baby, we can be...married just as...soon as I can...arrange it. I have dual...citizenship, so there should be...no problem with us getting married here...on the island. How about next week...in the hotel garden?”

“Next week?”

He grinned, glad to see that the fear had left her pretty face. “Too much time? Gee, I thought it would...take your sister a week to close...down the inn and...get the family here.” He stopped to breathe, then said, “Hmm, you think she can do it in a couple of days? That’s even better. Then there’s your... grandmother and aunt.” He grinned. “And your dad and stepmother...and twin brothers.”

Gordan barely managed to suppress a laugh at her outrage. He didn’t have to wait long for her to erupt.

“A few days! Close the inn! Gordan, I can’t plan a wedding in a week. A month isn’t enough time.”

“Okay, I just thought you would want your family here.” He paused, “But, I can make arrangements for...a special license tomorrow. I’m sure we can...be married by Wednesday, at the latest.”

“At least a month,” she insisted.

He grinned, then gave her a brief kiss. He was more than a little frustrated because he could not deepen the kiss the way he craved. “It’s not fast enough to suit me. But...I’ve waited four and a half years to...make you mine. One month is my limit.”

“Oh, Gordan.” Cassy tenderly placed a kiss on his lips before she said, “We’ve waited a long time to marry. But I’m not going to get married without both my family and yours being there. We’re going to do this the right way.”

He nodded. “We’ll call them after dinner.”

Cassy dropped her head. Her voice was filled with tears when she said, “My dad and my stepmother might be able to come. And my twin brothers. Maybe even Grandma and Aunt Rose.” Her voice broke. It was a moment before she could go on. “Sarah won’t be able to come. She can’t just close down the inn. We have guests with upcoming reservations, as well as staff to consider. It’s impossible.”

“Nothing is impossible.” He kissed her temple. “Call her. Tell her to cancel all...reservations for the next month. And re-book for...the following month. I’ll send her a check...to cover the cost of the lost reservations and employee vacation. .. expenses. I’ll also send a plane...to pick up your family and mine. I’ll have Kenneth...start making the arrangements with the desk...for the rooms in the hotel for our guests.”

Cassy gazed at him with a mixture of wonder and love. “You’re willing to do all that to make me happy, aren’t you?”

“That and so much more. You’re my heart.”

Her mouth was too warm and inviting for Gordan to resist. He took a kiss, only this time, he slid his tongue inside her mouth to sample her sweetness. Cassy was as breathless as he was when he stopped.

“Thank you, my love,” she whispered, knowing she should be angry with him because of the kiss. But she didn’t have the heart to scold.

When he could breathe evenly enough to speak, he said, “If you’re happy, Cassy, then so am I. I’m not... going to give you reasons to regret this decision...not ever.”