Gordan was careful to keep his hands deep in his pockets. That was the only way he had to stop himself from touching her. He ached to have Cassy back in his arms, yet, at the same time he was angry because he’d found her in the company of another man. He was infuriated by the way she had thrown his feelings back in his face as if he no longer mattered to her.
“Tell me about this Adam Foster. Does he have anything to do with why you want out of our relationship?”
Cassy took a step back as if he had struck her. She knew he was angry; it was in every line of his long, muscular body, as well as etched across his dark face.
“How can you ask me that?”
“Answer me, damn it!” He banged a fist on the hall table. They had not gotten as far as the spacious living room. He caused the crystal lamp and vase filled with flowers, which were resting on the polished surface, to shake and Cassy to jump. She took a deep, steadying breath. She had never seen him this upset—this coldly furious. Although she did not feel physically threatened, she was uncomfortable.
Lifting her chin, she said, “I met Adam at the airport, here in Martinique. He has nothing to do with what happened between us.”
Cassy could not look away from his deep-set eyes and the pain she saw in their depths. She forced herself to drop her gaze. Could it also be anguish she saw in his eyes? How could she hurt him? He would have to love her with his whole heart for him to feel hurt.
No. What she had done was hurt his pride. If he had truly loved her then he could not have let her go. He would have agreed to her terms. And that was not what happened. His refusal was why they were fighting—why she had cried herself to sleep night after night.
“We never should have become involved in the first place,” she whispered. “We come from vastly different worlds. It was a mistake from start to finish. But it’s over. It’s time for both of us to move on.”
“Wasn’t it only a few weeks ago when we were together that you claimed to love me, Cassy? Or was that also mistake?” His voice was raspy with emotion, even as he inhaled her scent. “We made love over and over again. Another mistake?”
Cassy stared at him before she collected her rattled nerves enough to look away. Her cheeks were hot, when she snapped, “This is not about sex.”
“You’ve no complaints in that department, have you?” He waited, as if he actually expected a response. When she refused to give him one, he clasped her around the waist and pulled her against him. “Have you?”
“You’ve made your point.”
“No, I don’t believe I have,” he whispered, before he dropped his head in order to reach her soft throat.
He pressed his mouth there at her pulse point, then touched his lips behind her left ear, a particularly sensitive place. She trembled in response before his mouth was hot and insistent against hers, as he gathered her close—so close that her lush breasts pillowed on his chest and his shaft thickened, heavy against her.
“Gordan...please. Don’t do this.” She managed to free her lips from his.
“Why not, baby? It’s the only way you’ll let me have you,” he said, his frustration apparent. “Cassy, you think I don’t know that you want me now? Just as you wanted me the last time we made love. It’s always been like that between us—hot and sweet.”
He had issued a clear challenge that she could not deny. Cassy pushed against his chest and was relieved when he didn’t try to hold her. Her legs were shaking, so much so that she had to lean against the table to keep from falling.
She took a deep breath before she said, “What is the use of arguing with you? You never bothered to ask what I need. But then, you’ve never cared, have you? I don’t know why you are here. Just leave me alone. I don’t want anything to do with you.”
“Ready to run away again, Cassy? It’s a whole lot easier than facing the truth.”
“What truth, Gordan—the truth as you see it? No, thank you. I have given you more than four years of my life, hoping that you would see how much you meant to me— hoping you’d eventually realize that I’m not like your ex-wife. But it didn’t happen. You won’t let it. Well, I’m not wasting another day on a man who is afraid to make a commitment to the woman he claims to love.” Blinking back tears, she whispered, “Gordan Kramer, I don’t want your kind of love. It hurts too much.”
He growled deep in his throat. “Hurt! Lady, you talk to me about hurt. I have offered you everything I have to give and you tossed it back in my face as if it meant nothing to you. If nothing else I think you owe me an explanation. Make me understand why, after what we’ve been to each other, it has stopped being enough!”
They glared at each other like sparring partners in a boxing ring.
She threw a hand up in frustration. “There is no point to all this! It’s finished.”
Determined not to let his temper do his thinking for him, he persisted, “Look, baby, can’t we at least sit down and try to talk this out? You’re upset and so am I. Standing in the foyer yelling at each other is not getting us anywhere. Please, come inside ...”
“Why can’t you understand? I can’t take any more of this.”
“Cassy...”
“Excuse me,” Jillian said. Having let herself into the suite, she looked from one to the other.
Neither Gordan nor Cassy responded, their eyes locked in a battle of wills. The air practically crackled with tension. Cassy was the first to regain some measure of control. She forced her eyes away from his, only to collide with the deep satisfaction in the other woman’s gaze.
Cassy raised her chin before she said, “Jillian. How appropriate.” The funny thing was she was not angry with the woman. Why waste the energy? Gordan had always had the power to choose.
Up until now, Cassy had had the luxury of knowing that his choice had been her. Suddenly that had all changed and Jillian was loving every minute of it. She looked like a fat cat, ready to lap sweet cream. Cassy had not a single illusion as far as Jillian was concerned. Jillian was more than ready to soothe Gordan’s wounded ego, all the way to his king-size bed. And Cassy was furious at herself for even caring.
Gordan said, “Jillian, do you have a reason for being here?”
“But, of course. I’m expecting a call from Trudy on the sea island project. I assumed you would need the information this afternoon. And Kenneth Kittman and his wife would like to have dinner tonight to discuss the hotel. He has quite a few interesting ideas on improving the Kramer House—Martinique. And then...”
Cassy had heard all she planned to listen to from either of them. She interrupted, “Don’t let me intrude.”
She walked past the other woman and quickly let herself out into the thickly carpeted hallway.
Gordan followed, closing the door behind him before he said her name. She had reached the gleaming elevator doors.
Ignoring the security guard in the glass-walled office across from the elevator, Gordan said, “We aren’t finished.”
“You are wrong,” she said, quietly. “We’ve been finished for quite some time. The problem is that neither one of us could see it. I’ve stopped running from the truth. I suggest you do the same. Goodbye, Gordan.”
Grateful that she did not have to wait for the elevator, Cassy pressed the floor number with a sense of relief. The door closed, as firmly as if a wall had been constructed between them. Yet, that did not explain the tears that filled her eyes and trickled down her cheeks. It was over—finally over.
Just last evening, she had wondered what it would be like to see him once more here in Martinique, where they’d met. Now she knew. It had been devastating. She was forced to wipe her face just before the elevator door opened on her floor. She not only looked a mess, she felt even worse.
As she entered her room, she acknowledged that she had made a dangerous mistake in underestimating the man. She should have known he would come after her. Why hadn’t she seen it coming? Sarah had warned her, but she had not taken it seriously.
Cassy had almost convinced herself that Gordan would not care one way or the other, especially considering that she had walked out on him. Why should he? He’d always been too caught up in what was really important—Kramer Corporation.
Why had he come? Was it simply a matter of pride? It had to be, since he had been ignoring her for months, content to wait until she could travel to him. And then there was his all-important South African project that had overshadowed everything—including his love life.
The trouble was that with Gordan there was always another new deal. He thrived on challenges. Money had not been an issue for a very long time with him. He had amassed a fortune. The Kramer hotels and resorts were extremely elegant and lush and were run as flawlessly as any first-class hotel in the world.
“Let it go,” she whispered, aloud.
It was time she pulled herself together. Cassy walked purposefully into the bathroom and turned on the shower. She would not waste her tears on him. He was not worth it.
So why couldn’t she forget the sweet magic of being back in his arms? He’d held her against his hard length, surrounded by his masculine scent and seductive charm. Her hands balled into fists at her sides.
She should be concentrating on repairing the damage the hot sun and sea had done to her hair and skin— nothing else. After soothing her face with cleansing lotion, she eased under the warm spray of the shower, armed with a tube of shampoo and one of her favorite lilac-scented shower gels. She did not turn off the water until she was reasonably certain that the hot water had soothed not only her taut muscles, but hopefully her tumultuous emotions. Unfortunately, she could not turn her thoughts off as effortlessly as she did the water.
Why had he kissed her? More important, why had it taken her so long to stop him? She needed no reminders of what it was like to be in his bed. When it came to making love, Gordan knew how to give pleasure.
The man had a keen sexual drive and was capable of focusing his total attention on the giving and receiving of pleasure. He knew how to control his own needs until she had reached at least one climax—more often than not, several—before he sought his own release.
He had been right when he talked about their last time together. It had been hot and wild. After they had been apart for a time, they would literally spend days in bed, making love as if it were possible to make up for the lonely weeks of separation.
The extended times they were apart contributed greatly to the friction between them. And her desire for commitment was at the heart of their difficulties. They simply wanted two different things. In this instance, there was no compromise.
Besides, what chance did any woman have against his assistant, the beautiful Jillian Harris? Gordan spent more time with Jillian than he had ever spent with Cassy.
That self-satisfied smirk on Jillian’s face had almost caused Cassy to forget her grandmother’s home training. She would not let that woman get to her. It did not matter...it did not matter... it did not matter. Jillian was welcome to the man. Cassy had taken herself out of the race. She no longer wanted that particular prize. She wanted more.
Gordan had made a mistake when he followed her to Martinique. He could not change her mind. It seemed as if all she had done by leaving him was put a big dent in his colossal ego. She’d be making a huge error in judgment by thinking differently. What she had done was offer him a challenge—something he could not resist.
He was so wrong about her. She would fight him if she had to for the kind of future she wanted. She had made the decision that was right for her.
Gordan had placed her last on his list—a position she refused to accept. And, if by some miracle, all that changed tomorrow, it would still not be enough to make her happy. Gordan had nothing to offer her because he’d made up his mind long before they had ever met that he would never marry again. Not Cassy nor his feelings for her were strong enough to alter that decision. And she was grateful that she finally realized it.
Some day she would have a marriage brimming with mutual love and respect. And she would hold a child of her own in her arms. For years, she had not let herself even fantasize because she secretly yearned for Gordan to be her husband and the father of her child.
Deep in her heart, she knew that marriage to him was the only thing she would have sacrificed her career goals in order to achieve. As his wife, she would have gladly traveled the world at his side.
No! It could never happen. And it was long past the time to let go of fairy tales of happily ever after. From now on her dreams must be for the future—a future she must share with some other man. She had to be strong enough to go after what she wanted from life. She had wasted years on him.
All she needed was one man not afraid of commitment. “A man like Adam,” she said, aloud, thoughtfully.
Well, she did have a tennis date with him. She should at the very least allow herself an opportunity to get to know the man. Adam deserved that much. Besides, she already knew that she liked him. It was a start.
***
As Gordan dressed for the evening ahead, he realized that he was still as aggravated as he had been the moment Cassy left. He’d practically snapped poor Jillian’s head off when she’d walked in on them earlier. He could not help it. He’d been furious and had not welcomed any interruptions.
“Cassy...”
He’d never known her to be so unreasonable. They had to talk this through before it destroyed what they had. What they needed was time alone—time to discuss their differences.
Things could not go on much longer the way they had been. If he wasn’t careful, he would lose her for good— something he was not about to let happen.
Yet, here he was preparing for a business dinner with the hotel’s manager, Kenneth Kittman, and his wife, Ann Marie. Jillian naturally would be joining them since she arranged the evening. Kenneth wanted to go over a list of ideas of improvements from which he felt the hotel and their guests would benefit.
For once, Gordan was not interested. He was so caught up in what was happening between him and Cassy that he could generate interest in little else. He consoled himself with the knowledge that it was only one night.
Besides, Cassy was furious at the moment. Once she calmed down, then they would find a way to work it out. The one thing that gave him hope was that she had not said she’d stopped loving him.
He had waited too long to find a woman that suited him. She was not only lovely, but she was genuine. He was not about to give in without a fight.
At first, he had been in shock when he learned that Cassy had chosen to vacation in Martinique and stay at his hotel. Kramer House—Martinique would always be special to them. It was where they met—where it all began for them.
Maybe she did not fully recognize the significance of why she had chosen to recuperate here. Her coming to Kramer House gave him hope. It allowed him to wonder if she might be having trouble letting go. It was one puzzle he was determined to solve.
What had she meant when she said he had never bothered to ask what she needed, or that he hadn’t really heard a word she said in Atlanta? He’d heard every hurt-filled word. How could he have avoided it when she had practically flung them at him as she packed?
The lady had made herself abundantly clear when she threw her birthday gift in his face and stormed out of his house without any travel arrangements. She did not care how she made it back to Oakland. All that was important at the time was getting away from him as fast as she could.
He’d been furious—so much so that he had made a huge mistake. He had sent Bradford to take her where she needed to go. But he had not gone after her himself that night—not tried to stop her from leaving until they had talked it all out. He was still paying for that mistake.
He’d let his own hurt and anger cloud his judgment. Instead of doing something about the situation, he had brooded over it for weeks.
“Where does she get off telling me that we should never have become involved in the first place?” he muttered to himself, as he groomed his beard. He had come chasing around the world to find her, something he had never even come close to doing for any other woman, including his ex-wife, Evie.
Cassy was right about one thing—the business demanded a great deal of his time. Why was that suddenly such a problem? They both had demanding careers. There was nothing new about that. And theirs was hardly a new relationship.
What was her point? She had known from day one that he needed to move from one hotel to the next to oversee the company. She also knew that the business was not just for him. He had responsibilities to his brother, his son, and all the people who worked for them all over the world. She knew all this going in. Why was it such a big issue now?
It was certainly not all on him. Cassy was the one who had taken on a new demanding business. She had been the one who no longer made time to be with him. He had never thrown that in her face. He had been more than generous, eager to fly her in on his private jet any time she wanted to come and join him.
“If it were up to me, we would have spent every weekend together,” he grumbled to himself. It was not his fault that she had chosen the Parkside Garden Inn over him. His lifestyle had not changed since the day they met.
“Why all of a sudden is it my fault that she’s not satisfied?” Gordan asked himself, as he glared at his reflection in the mirror, trying but failing to fasten his tie.
He did not care what she said—their separation was not all his doing. She had to take some responsibility. They should have spent more time together. All she had to do was get on the blasted jet and come to him. He never once told her not to come or that he was too busy. He had been willing even to share the precious little time he spent with his son with her. The three of them had vacationed together often enough.
Nor had he ever tried to hide the fact that he needed her in his life. He wanted her with him every single day, which was why he suggested that she move in with him. That was as committed as he could get!
As he pulled on the silk-and-cashmere-blend suit coat, he recalled the kiss he had stolen from her. Cassy had been pliable for a time, her soft body conformed to his. Her mouth had opened sweetly under his. He moaned deep in his throat. No matter what she said, he knew she still found him as desirable as he found her.
Even seeing her in the company of another man had not shaken his faith in her loyalty, which was saying a lot, considering his past. Cassy was upset with him, furious with him, yet he knew deep inside that she had never betrayed what they shared. He had no fears that she might sleep around on him. That was not her way. Just as she knew he would not cheat on her.
Although he enjoyed sex just as much as the next man and had a keen sexual appetite, he had no difficulty keeping his pants zipped while he was away from his woman. And Cassy was that—his woman.
And she took care of all his needs. Despite the passage of time and long periods of abstinence, Gordan’s desire for Cassy had not lessened. If anything, he wanted her more. She kept him hard, anxious for more of the same. It was a pity that they could not spend every waking hour making love. He chuckled softly. At least then he could stop this ridiculous idea that marriage was the sole answer for them. There had to be other options.
“Gordan,” the sultry feminine voice filtered in, from the other side of the bedroom door.
“Be right out, Jillian.”
Gordan’s forehead creased into a frown. No, this was not the way he would have liked to spend the evening. But for now it would have to do. He would be relieved when it was over. Then he could concentrate on finding a way out of this dilemma with Cassy.
***
After seeing the Kittmans out, Gordan’s manservant, Ben Bradford, inquired, “Would you care for anything more, Ms. Harris?”
“No, thank you,” Jillian said, absently, her gaze on the man seating himself in one of the armchairs. He stretched his long legs out in front of him.
“Sir?”
“Nothing for me. Good night, Bradford,” Gordan said, quietly. After a time, he roused himself enough to say, “Thanks, Jillian, for acting as my hostess this evening.”
“I enjoyed it,” she smiled.
Gordan was thoughtful, unmoved by her dazzling smile. He was remembering how intrusive her appearance had been earlier that afternoon.
After deciding he could not afford another such interruption, he said evenly, “I prefer that you work out of the hotel’s business office while we’re here. Please, get whatever you need from the in-suite office tonight before you leave.”
If he heard her sudden gasp, he gave no indication. “Good night, Jillian.” Gordan rose and walked out onto the softly lit balcony.
He went to the wrought-iron railing and stared down at the grounds far below. He could see the lanterns along the garden walkway. Was Cassy down there tonight?
“You’re upset with me,” Jillian said, from the doorway.
The only thing Gordan was conscious of feeling was fatigue. He was fed up with the situation—tired of doing without. The evening had been a long and empty one. Where had Cassy spent her evening? Had she been alone? Had she even thought about what they’d discussed earlier?
“Gordan?”
“No, I’m not angry with you.”
He had no emotions where Jillian was concerned. His head was overflowing with thoughts of only one woman.
Cassy should have been there tonight. She should have been his hostess and then, later, his lover for the rest of the night. He yearned to make love with her all night long.
He had to stop himself from wondering how she might have spent her evening. It was the only way he had of containing his temper. The possibility that she might be out with Foster tonight did not sit well with him. One glance had told him that the other man wanted her.
Gordan headed a corporation, but he was as possessive as the next man. Cassy was his just as he was hers. What was she up to? Did she hope to make him jealous with this other guy?
No. She had no way of knowing when or if he was going to return to the island. Besides, Cassy was not into play acting, which was only one of the things he adored about her.
That was his bottom line. Gordan quite simply adored the woman. Despite their problems, she made him happy. On the nights they were apart, he enjoyed talking to her on the telephone. It allowed him to close his eyes and imagine that Cassy was beside him in bed.
Oh, yes, he needed her tonight. He needed her with him every night. He’d had enough of sleeping alone. It didn’t matter if the bed was in Atlanta, the Caribbean, or South Africa.
They had not seen each other in a few weeks, but even though this time was different, he had been thrilled to be able to just look at her. And she had looked good today.
Her amber-tone skin glowed from good health and natural beauty. She had covered her pretty curls with a hat, but he knew how her hair felt—how she felt in his arms, against his skin. She had not been wearing any perfume today, but all he had to do was close his eyes in order to fill his head with her womanly scent. That thin knit of her swimsuit could not conceal the softness of Cassy’s full, pointy-tipped breasts or the voluptuous flare of her round hips. She had tied a sheer skirt around her waist to cover her firm thighs and shapely calves. She hid nothing from him, for he knew all her sweet secrets. He had no difficulty recalling how beautiful she was with or without clothes. Nor could he forget how warm and silky her skin felt against his and how she tasted.
Gordan had no trouble remembering what it was like to be deep inside Cassy’s tight sheath. They fit together perfectly. She would purr deep in her throat when she was very aroused—hot, sexy little moans that told him she was close to climaxing.
He closed his eyes, forcing back a husky groan. He had wanted her when he found her sharing a meal with another man—just as he wanted her now. His shaft had hardened in preparation to make love. All he needed was her...
“It’s a lovely night, isn’t it?”
The provocative feminine voice came from directly behind him. The night air was suddenly filled with her alluring perfume. Silky, smooth, slim brown arms encircled his waist from behind and small hands began to move beneath his jacket, over his silk-covered chest.
“Neither one of us has to be alone tonight,” Jillian crooned, close to his ear.
Gordan had been momentarily stunned with disbelief. He clasped both her hands and pulled them away from his body. Turning to face her, he snarled, “Jillian, what in the hell do you think you are playing at?”
“It’s obvious that you’re no longer with Cassy. I think it’s time you knew that I find you attractive. I have for a very long time. Gordan, let me help you forget her. Let me...”
Gordan stared down at her, not believing what he was hearing. Eventually, he folded his arms on his chest, then he said, tightly, “Stop right there. You’ve said enough. I suggest you leave now and we will both forget this ever happened.”
“Please, give me a chance. Let me show you that I’m the woman for you. I have all the qualities that you desire in a woman. I’m smart. I’m...”
“I’m glad to hear it.” A muscle jumped beneath his bearded jaw, before he said, evenly, “Let’s assume you’re smart enough to step very cautiously. I’ll tell you this once. I don’t want you, Jillian. I do not become romantically involved with any of my employees.”
“Cassy once worked for you.”
“You’re not Cassy. If you value your position, you’ll get out of my suite—now. And you will never bring this up again. You, lady, are replaceable.”
Jillian blinked. “I apologize. I overstepped.”
Gordan said nothing. To his relief, she left, closing the outside door firmly behind her.