SUNDAY

The first time I came across VICTOR CRIDDLE (TORRID DEVIL CC ) was on

the school bus on my first day at secondary school.

The CC of his anagram stands for Child Catcher, because that’s just what he’s like. He doesn’t just look scary, but he traps younger kids and bullies them in all kinds of nasty ways, like offering them sweets before he thumps them.

Within days of bumping into him, I became Number 1 on his list of victims. He’s two years older than me and much bigger. Here are some facts about my worst enemy in the world – the horrible, vile, repulsive Victor Criddle:

 

1. He lives in the next street to me. They call the Criddles ‘The family from hell’.
2. He’s had more fights than I’ve had Mrs. Eve’s biscuits – and that’s loads.
3. He’s been suspended from school more than anyone else – apart from his sister.
4. He’s banned from the supermarket down the road because he weed over the mushrooms. So I called him Victor Widdle (which I consider a good play on words). But he kicked me.
5. He stuck drawing pins in Miss Milligan’s bike tires (as well as up through her saddle), which I would think is a criminal offense, as well as being a bit painful.