BASH
The sun was bright, the sky clear the next morning, and it was beyond hard to climb out of that bed with so much lush warmth and softness waiting for me there. But I wanted to do something special for Ember, so I got up, threw on my shirt, and made her breakfast.
She had just woken up when I returned with a plate of pancakes, bacon, and scrambled eggs.
“What’s this?” she asked, and the delight was evident on her face and in her voice.
“I made you breakfast in bed.” I situated the tray on her lap. I lay next to her, propping myself up on my elbow. She immediately picked up a piece of bacon, taking a bite.
“This is really good,” she said, holding it out to me. “Try it.”
I took a bite and couldn’t hide my smile.
“What?” she demanded. “What is that look for?”
“You just shared your food with me.”
She raised her eyebrows. “And?”
“For you? That’s the biggest declaration of love I’ve ever seen. If I wasn’t sure of it last night, now I know you love me.”
“All I’m declaring is that I appreciate you doing this, and I was being nice because I know you’re hungry, and I was trying to help keep it at bay.”
“One tiny bite of food is not going to fill me up. And when it comes to you”—I leaned over to kiss her on the pulse point between her neck and her collarbone, and I felt her soften beneath my lips—“one small taste is never enough. I’ll never get my fill of you.”
From the darkening of her eyes I knew she felt the same. “Can I tell you something?”
“Always.”
“Now that I know how you feel about me and about all this”—she gestured at herself—“it feels a little weird. Like I suddenly feel like I have this superpower over you. As if I could make you lose control with very little effort.”
Her words turned my insides molten hot, my body coiled with tension. “You keep talking like that, and you’re going to find out how true that is. Besides, didn’t anybody ever teach you to use your powers for good?”
“But . . . I think this would be good.” Her teasing, seductive smile was back, making my breath catch.
“Stop playing with fire,” I warned her. I knew Ember. It would be one thing for her to joke but another for us to move too quickly.
Fortunately my phone buzzed with a message, and I reached over to the nightstand to grab it. “It’s from Deja. She said the roads have been cleared and they’re on their way up here.”
“Oh.” Ember pouted a little, making me want to kiss her lower lip. “I was kind of hoping it would just be the two of us today.”
I put my hand on top of her leg, still feeling a little awestruck by the fact that I could touch her or kiss her now. “I wanted that, too. I could stick around.”
“Yeah, but knowing my roommates there might be a male ritual sacrifice planned for later on this evening. Or they will hound you endlessly with questions.”
“I can take a little interrogation.”
“This wouldn’t be a little interrogation. This would be like . . . a Guantanamo Bay type of situation.”
“Well,” I said, “in the interest of not being waterboarded, I should probably go dig the truck out.” I squeezed her leg. “I hate the idea of leaving you.”
“I don’t want you to leave, either.” Her voice sounded different, strained.
“Hey,” I said, waiting for her to look at me. I was surprised to see pain and fear filling her eyes. “I’m not going anywhere. You know that, right?”
“I do. It’s just . . . I don’t know. I’m being silly.” She shook her shoulders, as if she could make her feelings disappear just like that. “I’ll see you when I get back to school.”
“Right. We’ve got all the time in the world now.”
“Although,” she said, that playful tone back, “I liked it better when seeing you didn’t involve a shirt.”
I reached behind me and yanked my shirt off so quickly that she started laughing. “Is this better?” I asked.
“Much.”
“Your wish is my command,” I said, crawling over to her. I moved the tray out of the way, down onto the floor. When I straightened up I tugged on her legs until she was flat on her back. Then I braced myself over her. My mouth hovered above hers, loving the feeling of anticipation, the way my abdomen would tighten, how my breathing went shallow, right before our lips met.
“Do you know what I really want?” she whispered as she ran the tips of her fingers along my jawline, leaving trails of fire in her wake.
“Tell me. Anything, and it’s yours.” If she asked me to bring her the sun, I’d find a way to accomplish it.
“What I really want . . .” she said as she leaned in so that her lips touched my earlobe, sending shivers from my head down to my feet, “. . . is more bacon.”
I tried to time my departure just before Ember’s roommates’ arrival so that I could spend as much time with her as possible before I had to go. Her bacon-flavored kisses were hard to resist.
And when the weekend ended and she came back to school we got to behave . . . like any other normal couple. Nobody knew about our other lives, about our parents who would probably have strokes if they saw us together. Instead we held hands during algebra and kissed in the hallways like any other couple who had just discovered they were in love. At practice I was cool with Woodby now. I even felt a little sorry for him. Because that dude had seriously missed out, and I was glad that Ember was mine.
Unfortunately, our other life did decide to rear its ugly head. It was the night of the breast cancer benefit/ball, and Tricia had asked if everyone could come home to get ready and then go to the ball together. Like one big happy family.
Ember and I drove home together, and I stole as many kisses as I could at stoplights, knowing that we were going to have to behave at the dance. “I’m not sure I’ll be able to keep my lips to myself.” I said the words against her throat before kissing it. She made that sighing sound of pleasure that drove me absolutely insane.
“You’re going to have to try hard,” she said. “Which, to be honest, may not be easy once you see me in my dress.”
“What dress?”
“It’s actually the one I bought for prom.” Her words hung heavily in the air. The prom that we had planned on going to together. The prom that never happened. “I had been really excited. I bought the dress before you left. I found the perfect one, but I had to get the sales clerk to bring me one from the back in a size for people who ate food. Anyway, I ended up going to the dance with a bunch of my girlfriends, and it was kind of a bummer.”
“If I could go back and fix it, I would.”
She slipped her hand into mine. “I wish I hadn’t been so emotional. I should have enjoyed myself instead of missing you. So my gorgeous dress has had nothing but sad memories. I’m glad I get to give it some good ones. Especially since it’s going to be so perfect for our waltz tonight. The skirt is poofy and princessy.”
Ember parked in front of the house, and now that we were in non-touching territory I smiled at her one last time before we got out of the car. She placed her new phone on top of the car, and, remembering what had happened the last time she did that, I told her, “Don’t forget your phone.”
“I’m being more careful now!” she said, grabbing it and walking inside with me. Lauren pounced on us as soon as we walked in the door. “I’m going to help do your makeup!” she told Ember.
With an apologetic look, Ember followed her younger sister upstairs. I went and snagged some leftover chicken from the fridge. I noticed four cellophane boxes. I reached for one and realized they were corsages. My old man could do things up right when he wanted to. I put it back and headed upstairs to my room. They’d left it exactly as it had been in high school. Guilt washed over me again that I couldn’t figure out back then how to stay. I grabbed the suit I’d brought with me. My dad was a big believer in having at least one nice suit you could wear to church or a funeral if you needed to. It didn’t take me long to get dressed, and I decided to go back downstairs and find something else to eat. When I stepped into the hallway I heard my name. Ember and Lauren were in the bathroom, talking.
“When Bash sees you in this dress, he is going to die. Tongue rolling out of his mouth and onto the floor, eyes bugging out of his head like a cartoon character.”
Ember laughed, a sound I adored. “You need to let this Bash thing go.”
Did Lauren not know about us? For some reason I thought she did. Probably due to all her little remarks about our relationship.
“Never. I’m ride or die for you two.”
“How do you think everybody else would react?”
“Everybody else? You mean, like, Mom?” Lauren asked.
“Yeah. Do you think she’d hypothetically be okay if Bash and I dated?”
“Oh, no. Mom would absolutely flip. Which is one of the reasons I’m shipping you guys so hard. Because the fallout will be epic. She has this whole image in her head of this perfect blended family, and that blending does not include the kind of, you know, blending you’re talking about.”
Feeling like I’d intruded enough, I went down to the kitchen. Tricia came in wearing a black dress that made her hair look even pinker.
“Bash! You’re here!” She came over to give me a hug, which seemed strange. We’d never really had a hugging type of relationship. “I’m glad you were able to make it.”
Before I could respond, my dad came in the kitchen behind her. He told her how beautiful she was as they sweetly kissed; it reminded me of why I’d run away in the first place. My dad deserved this. He deserved to be in love and happy.
So do you, a voice whispered to me.
But I was in love and happy. My heart hurt a little that I couldn’t share it with the people I cared about most because I knew what their reaction would be. Ember had the right idea. We should just stay quiet about it for now, see where it went. And when the time was right, we’d tell Dad and Tricia and figure the rest out from there.
Dad grabbed the corsages out of the fridge as Lauren and Marley came downstairs. He passed the wrist corsages out. Ember wasn’t with them, something Tricia noticed as well. “Where’s Ember?”
“Still curling her hair. She’ll be down a little later,” Lauren said, giving me obvious side-eye.
“I don’t want to be late,” Tricia worried. “I’m on the committee.”
Lauren said, “The four of us can go, and Bash can drive Ember over when she’s ready. You can just text him the address for the club.”
“I’d be happy to,” I responded. Very, very happy to.
“Okay,” Tricia said with a slight frown. “I had wanted us to all drive together, but I need to get going. You two have to leave in the next twenty minutes. Promise me you will.”
“I promise. I’ll pick her up and carry her out to the car if she’s not ready.”
Lauren shot me an amused grin, which I ignored. Dad handed me the one unopened corsage. “This is for Ember.”
“I’ll make sure she gets it.” I walked them to the front door, again promising to see them soon.
“Ember?” I called up the stairs. “We’re going to be late if we don’t get going soon!”
“Be down in a minute!”
I considered going upstairs to look for her but knew if I did that, we’d never make it to the ball.
Then I was glad I waited. I heard a noise behind me, and I turned to see her at the top of the stairs. I nearly swallowed my tongue. She looked . . . phenomenal. Her dress was a dark wine color, with a strapless top that reminded me of a heart and a lighter shade for her princess skirt. Her long dark hair hung in waves, and my fingers itched to touch her. My teenage self? His head would have exploded seeing her in that dress.
Wow. Wow, wow, wow.
I couldn’t believe she was mine and I was hers. Completely. I would have done anything for her.
She walked down the stairs slowly, her skirt making a rustling sound as she moved. She came to a stop in front of me and twirled around. “Well?”
“You’re always beautiful, but you just made me forget how to speak.”
“You seem to be doing okay,” she teased.
“Maybe on the outside, but on the inside my brain is just saying ‘wow’ over and over again. Also, that dress deserves whatever happy memories it wants.”
She laughed and leaned up to kiss me. “Thank you.” She used her fingers to wipe away her lipstick from my mouth. “And thank you for fulfilling my prom fantasy.”
“Fantasy?” At that my mouth went dry, and my chest suddenly felt too tight.
“You know, how in the movies the girl comes downstairs for the big dance, and her boyfriend is standing there waiting for her all in love and excited, and you even have the corsage!” I handed it to her, my brain still drooling and therefore unable to think to open the box and put the flowers on her wrist myself.
“I didn’t pick out the corsage. Doug got one for each of you.”
“But you’re the one giving it to me.” It was a white orchid with some greenery on it. Ember’s smile was dazzling.
Then I thought about something she’d just said. “Boyfriend, huh?”
Her eyes got big. “Oh. Is that okay? We haven’t really discussed it.”
I drew her close, my hands at her waist. The material was so soft. Velvet. “E, I’ve been your boyfriend since the first moment I spoke to you.”
Then I kissed her much more fiercely than I’d initially intended to, ignoring the fact that my entire body screamed at me to carry her upstairs and blow off this entire evening.
“We should go,” I said regretfully, kissing her one last time.
I helped her put her coat on, and then we ran out to her car. I volunteered to drive and helped her into the passenger side, making sure that all of her skirt was inside of the car. She looked like an adorable burgundy cloud.
When we were almost at the country club, I asked, “How long do we have to stay at this thing?”
“We have to do the waltz competition and make sure my mom sees us once or twice, and then we are out of there.”
“Sounds like a plan.” I gave the keys to the valet out front and offered Ember my arm so that she wouldn’t slip on the slightly icy walkway.
We left our coats in a closet up front, and she spotted a table that had a sign saying the waltz competitors needed to sign in. We headed over, and a middle-aged man with a comb-over and paunch belly greeted us.
“Names?”
“Ian Sebastian and Ember Carlson.”
He ran his finger down a list until he found our names. “Ember, huh? That’s an interesting name. Like a fire?”
I did not like the way he was looking at her, and I was trying to figure out whether his comment was harmless or if I should lean across this table, grab him by his shirtfront, and toss him out into the cold.
“Yes, like a fire,” Ember said, taking the number the man offered her. He told us the competition would begin in half an hour and to make sure our number was visible on my back while we danced.
“You’ve got some real competition tonight,” he said, still directing all of his attention to my girlfriend. I couldn’t mistake it this time, he was definitely leering at her.
Did he not know how close he was to getting a broken nose?
Ember tugged on my arm, pulling me away from committing assault and battery, and we walked into the ballroom. There were only a handful of people already there, and it felt a little like a prom as far as the decorations went. Round tables with pink tablecloths, pink and silver balloons dotted around the room. There were also some potted trees with pink lights.
“Turn around,” Ember told me. She peeled tabs off the paper and then put our official number on my back.
“Like a fire, huh?” I asked her.
“Aw, Bash. Are you jealous of the slightly creepy old man?” Her hand flitted across mine, like she was going to hold it but then changed her mind.
I loved it when she teased me. I wanted so badly to grab her and kiss her but had to refrain because there were eyes everywhere.
“I’m not jealous. I just like that I’m the only one who knows just how hot you burn.”
She caught her breath and bit her lower lip, and it was nearly my undoing. Before I could do something really stupid, I heard Tricia’s voice just behind me.
“Ember! Ian! I’m so glad you’re both here.” She hugged Ember hello.
Lauren sidled up to me and whispered, “That’s a pretty shade on you.”
It took me a second to realize what she was talking about, and then I tried to unobtrusively wipe my mouth. I wondered if anyone else had noticed.
Somebody came to grab Tricia, needing her input, and Marley wanted to show Lauren the chocolate fountain, leaving us alone.
“Does Lauren know?” I asked Ember.
“She thinks she knows everything, but no, she doesn’t know about us. She’s just hopeful, and it’s annoying. I would cut open my own stomach to give her my kidney if she needed it, but sometimes I kind of want to strangle her.”
“Perils of being the older sibling,” I said.
“You can relate?”
“No, Marley’s the perfect kid sister.”
Ember nudged me with her elbow while I laughed. Then Tricia returned with my dad in tow, and she wanted to introduce both of us to the people she had volunteered with. It was difficult to pay attention when Ember would move, causing her hair to slide across her bare shoulders, or the way her chest would rise and fall just a bit faster each time she caught me admiring her. Which was often.
I couldn’t wait to get her alone.
More people entered the ballroom as the quartet of musicians began warming up. After I said hello to dozens of people whose names I promptly forgot, a woman stepped up to the microphone. She welcomed everyone to the event and then told us it was time for the waltzing competition to begin.
“Shall we?” I asked Ember, and when she nodded, I took her by the hand and led her out onto the dance floor. The music began, an instrumental version of the song Ember and I had practiced to.
I didn’t know if it was because we’d decided to be together, to take down those walls we’d built to keep the other one out, but we danced so differently now. We moved together easily, anticipating one another’s steps. She followed where I led, and we danced as if we’d been doing it for years.
But we were not professionals, like many of our competitors who were doing elaborate routines and turns.
Nobody else mattered. The competition didn’t matter. Just being able to dance, her skirts sliding across my legs, my palm flattened against her waist, her hand in mine. We danced closer than we should have. We had to keep our relationship a secret, but here, in this moment, we belonged to each other. Everybody and everything else faded away.
The song ended, and the judges announced their runners-up and the first-place winners. When we walked off the dance floor, I had to remind myself to let go of her hand when Tricia and Dad arrived to console us.
“You two should have won! I was so proud of you!” Tricia said, and I noticed how Ember lit up at her mother’s words.
I overheard Lauren say to Ember, “You know, dancing is a gateway drug to kissing.”
“It is not.”
“Is too. Especially the way you guys were doing it.”
Then we were joined by two older couples who wanted to congratulate us for dancing so well, and they expressed how sweet they thought it was that such a young couple had competed. I didn’t follow their conversation. I was counting down the seconds until I could steal Ember away from here.
Her eyes met mine, and I saw her hunger. She was biding her time, too, smiling when she didn’t mean it, her intense gaze returning to me again and again, almost like she was touching me. My heart raced in anticipation.
Not much longer now.