| |
"Raina, I'm not Brady's daughter. They just have guardianship over me.
She looked sad, "What happened to your family?"
"I'll get to that, but I need to tell you this first. I was a foster child. The black garbage bag was my suitcase. I was in lots of homes, Raina. Many homes, but you get the idea. It's just temporary. I never had a place to call home." Raina was silently listening, letting me explain. "I got used to that. Until Brady. When we came back from a camping trip I overheard some things that made me think they were sending me back, but I overheard wrong."
"I'm sorry, Daniels." Her eyes were soft and understanding.
I looked away. "That wasn't the only thing that had me running."
"What do you mean?"
I looked back to her and took a deep as much as I could, "How did you know not to wake up a sleepwalker?"
Her face balked. "Someone once told me."
"Who?"
"Austin, the guy I told you about when we went camping. What does that have to with—"
"How did he know?" I interrupted.
"His sister sleepwalked,” she replied unwillingly. “Why does this matter? What does this have to do with you?” she questioned, her eyes narrowing as if she was trying to figure out where I was going with all of this.
“Because it does matter, and it has everything to do with me...” I took a deep, painful breath and went on. “Think about it Raina. I come from your hometown. I’m not Tom Brady’s daughter. I sleepwalk...” I whispered the last part.
Her eyes went wide as she connected the dots. “You? You’re- no.” She denied as she tried to wrap her thoughts around what I had said. “It can’t be. Austin was your brother?"
"My name is—"
"Faith," she breathed out looking me over. "Your name is Faith."
I nodded. "Yes."
A horrified look filtered crossed over her as she got up off the bed and physically distanced herself from me. She looked scared as if I was a snake ready to strike. "What do you want from me, Faith?" she asked defensively. "Did you befriend my brothers and me as some sort of payback?" she finished harshly, and I was hurt. How could she think that of me?
"It wasn—"
"What was your gain in all of this?" She leaned forward towards me. "Why tell me? Huh?"
"It's not-"
"Never mind." She shook her head not giving me a chance to speak. "I won't let you ruin my family. I won't—It was an accident!" She made her way to my door. "Don't talk to me, Faith. I don't want to remember."
"I'm sorry—" It didn't matter, she still walked. "Raina! Stop!" I yelled, panicked that my life was once again crumbling around me.
She paused, and I continued. "His death killed me too! I hate that he's gone." I told her as I looked at her back. "My family was never the same. The drinking, the fighting."
Raina whipped around, "And I guess you think it's my fault, huh?" Her eyes were full of rage.
"No." I sighed, sitting back against my pillows exhausted. "I didn't even know about the connection until the camping trip. I'm not out for revenge. I just want an ordinary life. My father killed my mother, and then beat me to an inch of my life before someone killed him. I was 13, Raina, when I watched my mom die. I felt the same way you did. I saw my family everywhere. The good times and the bad. Brady and his partner were the first to arrive on the scene. He and Sarah have always been there after that. They saw the pain and hurt and eventually they took me away. They brought me to you and your family not knowing. I found friends; I liked it here, and I was finding a home. Please don't hate me, judge me and please, don't leave." I bit my bottom lip as tears flowed. "Don't leave me. You're all I have left of him. I want to know about my brother through your eyes, Raina. Please?"
Raina just stood there with her eyes towards the floor as several emotions filtered across her face.
"Raina?"
She jerked up her head as her lost eyes met mine. With shoulders slumped, she put a hand on my door jam as if she was trying to keep her composure in check. I knew how she felt. "It's hard. Remembering," she spoke. "I have nightmares about waking up back in that car. Austin in the passenger side. All the blood. He didn't move. Not even when I shook him."
My heart raced as her eyes glazed over while she spoke, her eyes moving to look more behind me than at me. Wait, that didn’t make sense. He was in the passenger seat?
"He let me drive that night. It was after the party that we got hit. The accident... If I hadn't begged him—If we had just stayed home and hadn't gone, we wouldn't have crashed into... Well, you know."
I understood. "He made me promise to keep quiet. I caught him slipping out. I could have said something, done something." I took a deep breath and gave myself, and her, the peace we were both seeking. "People—Teens sneak out all time and never get in a car accident. It could have happened to anyone. Austin would not want us to blame ourselves. It wasn't your fault. It wasn't mine."
Her eyes again cleared as tears filled. "How can you forgive so easily? Especially knowing who was driving."
"And I was the one that kept a promise."
"You should be angry, Faith!" she yelled as she bunched up her fists by her side.
"We both need to let go of our guilt," I responded calmly.
"Your parents killed each other because of the accident! Faith, how can you not be seeking revenge for having me beg him to go!"
My eyes flashed. "You're wrong! My father killed my mother. His actions are his own. As are mine. As are yours. Did you cause that car to crash into you?"
"No," she growled out annoyed, flicking her eyes out my bedroom window.
"Were you obeying the driving laws?"
"Yes..." her voice was steady as her eyes came back to mine and grew curious. She was trying to figure out what I was attempting to say.
"The fault lies with the idiot person who hit you. The person who got distracted from a text on his phone. My father is responsible for your accident. And he knew it. He carried the guilt of that night with him every day until he died. My father took not only my brother from me, but my mother too! And he would have taken me with him, but someone saved me!"
Raina looked taken back. Confused. "It wasn't your father, Faith."
Now I was confused. What? What was missing? "Yes, it was. My dad went out that night. It was our car."
She walked towards me, her face worried and apprehensive. "They both were there, Faith. Your parents."
I sucked in a breath and then coughed. My chest burned. My heart raced. Shocked, I blurted out, "What?"
"You- you were at home alone." My chest tightened.
"They left the house" she paused letting it all sink in, "thinking your brother was there to watch you." A stab in my heart. I had been alone?
"Your mother was the one who caused the accident," she told me softly, her eyebrows bunched up in confusion and sympathy.
My breath came out ragged. My eyes widened. I had been left alone. The memory came on so strong I couldn't have stopped it if I tried.
I heard the sound of flesh hitting flesh and my mother gasp.
He hit her!
Scared for my mother, I scrambled out of bed and raced to my door, throwing it open.
I could hear my mother sobbing, "I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry! It's all my fault."
It wasn't her fault, I thought to myself. It was his...
"I thought you knew." Raina's voice brought me back.
My chest was caving. I couldn't breathe. I reached out to, her gasping for breath. "Can't... Breathe."
My sweet mother was the one to kill my brother. Then my father killed her. And I was going to die from suffocation due to shock.
My life sucked. Literally.
Black dots started to cloud my vision as ringing in my ears came. I was going to pass out. I heard a booming voice blare out, "Jeez, Reina! What are you doing to her?"
I felt whoever it was getting close, and the next face I saw was Kayden's. His light blue eyes stared into mine, urging me to keep calm as he took my cheeks in his hands, trying to get my attention. I grabbed his wrists, holding onto him as I gasped for air. His eyes were comforting, as was his deep voice that floated over my panic. "Breathe, baby," he coached with soothing words. "That's it, breathe. One breath at a time." I tried to sync my breaths with his, hoping the panic would ebb.
"What in the Sam Hill is going on here?" I heard a woman demand. My eyes went wide as I looked into his, and my body went tense. My breath hitched once again, and I started stressing. Kayden turned his face away from mine and growled. "Out, mom! You're stressing her!"
"Kayden—!"
"Please..." He begged in a softer voice. She must have agreed, because he turned back to me, encouraging me to keep breathing.
After a few more minutes, I found myself on my side that wasn't bruised, with Kayden snuggled up behind me. He was still talking, telling me to breathe with him. When our breaths were synced, I felt like a weak kitten. Drained and exhausted, I couldn't speak, I just lay there. Kayden seemed to understand. I was so sleepy.
"It's ok baby, go to sleep. I'll stay with you. I won't leave." His hand was tangled with mine, resting on my hip. His thumb rhythmically caressed the inside of my wrist, relaxing me. With my breath evened out and my nerves calmed, I fell to sleep next to Kayden, wishing the others were with me too.