In which Henrietta continues her history.
Absence (says a certain writer) increases violent passions, and cures moderate ones; just as the wind extinguishes a small flame, while it makes a great one burn more fiercely.11 Mr. Courteney’s passion was of this kind; he had loved with violence from the moment he began to love. In vain he had recourse to books, to company, to field sports, and rural amusements; it was not possible for him to call off his thoughts a moment from that object from whom he fled with such care. Two months he wore away in a constant perturbation of mind, still flattering himself that he was nearer his cure, while his disease gathered strength every day.
“It happened that one evening he fell into company with some officers, whose regiment was quartered in that part of the country; and one of them mentioned colonel Carlton, and the unhappy situation his widow and daughter were left in.
“Mr. Courteney, rouzed to attention by that name so dear to him, pretended to be wholly ignorant of those ladies case, that he might indulge himself in the pleasure of talking of her he loved.
“The officer gave him a circumstantial detail of what he knew as well as himself; concluding with many commendations of Mrs. Carlton’s good sense, prudence, and virtue; and such rapturous praises of the young lady’s beauty and uncommon qualifications at such early years, that Mr. Courteney, for the first time sensible of the tortures of jealousy, could with difficulty conceal his emotions.
“You speak so feelingly, said a gentleman in company, of this young lady’s perfections, that I fancy you are in love with her: come, here is her health; is it to be a match?
“I should be but too happy in such a wife, replied the officer; but she deserves a better husband: it is not for a poor lieutenant, added he, smiling, to marry for love; but if I was a man of fortune, I would prefer miss Carlton to all the women I have ever seen.
“Mr. Courteney afterwards declared that he suffered inconceivable anguish during this conversation. He quitted the company with some precipitation; and when he was at liberty to reflect, he reproached himself a thousand times for his folly in leaving such a treasure for another to obtain. Every man he thought would look upon miss Carlton with the same eyes as that young officer; and among them might not one be found blest with a fortune to make her happy, and above all narrow considerations which could hinder him from making himself so?
“Resolutions are easily formed when the heart suggests them. Mr. Courteney, who had so long fluctuated between his passion and his prudence, was, by the fear of losing what he loved, determined in an instant to put it past the possibility of losing her. His father’s anger, which at first appeared so formidable to him, was now considered as a trifle, that would be easily got over: he was not going to introduce any stale mistress into a noble family, nor to give a comedian or singer for a sister to his sisters, and a daughter to his mother; alliances so much in fashion with the present race of nobility and people of fashion: in miss Carlton he should marry birth, beauty, virtue, every perfection but riches, but unhappily that, in the estimation of his father, was worth them all.
“His fortune indeed was undetermined; it might be great, it might be very inconsiderable, since it depended upon the will of his father. His father would never consent to his marriage with miss Carlton; but though disobliged, yet loving him as he did, was it likely that he would always continue inexorable? Besides, he had a certain, though a remote prospect of a large estate, to which he was to succeed at the death of a relation, who was old, and had been married twenty years, without having ever had a child.
“Should he find it impossible to reconcile his father to his marriage, yet he was at least of a genteel provision; but with such excellencies as miss Carlton was possessed of, how could it be imagined that she should not in time conciliate his father’s affections, and make him approve of his choice?
“There is no logick, my dear miss Woodby, like the logick of the heart. Mr. Courteney, as is usual on such occasions, having taken his resolution before he reasoned upon the matter, reasoned afterwards in such a manner as to be soon persuaded his resolution was right.
“Early the next morning he ordered his horses to be made ready, and he returned to London with all imaginable expedition. He alighted at the house of a friend, where he dismissed his servants and horses, and then taking a hackney coach, was driven to the street in which Mrs. Carlton lived. Upon stopping at the house, and enquiring for Mrs. Carlton, he was told that she had left it five weeks before, and being greatly indisposed, had taken lodgings at Chelsea for the air.
“Mr. Courteney, who now thought every moment an age till he saw miss Carlton, and had acquainted her with his passion and his honourable intentions, procured as full a direction as could be given him; but notwithstanding his impatience to be with his mistress, he obeyed the dictates of his duty, in first going home to pay his respects to his father.
“The earl received him a little coldly; an expression of displeasure was on his countenance, which however wore off by degrees, as he enquired concerning his health, his studies and amusements, during his absence. At length seeming to recollect something, he went to his cabinet, took out a letter, the seal of which had been broke, and delivered it into his son’s hand, assuming the same angry countenance as before.
“Mr. Courteney, not able to imagine what all this meant, opened the letter hastily, and found it was from Mrs. Carlton, dated the very day of his departure, and in it was inclosed the bank note he had sent: the purport of her letter was to refuse in a genteel but steady manner all pecuniary assistance from him; however, she thanked him for his civilities, and acknowledged herself greatly obliged to him.
“When Mr. Courteney had read this letter, which he did with much confusion, the earl asked him sternly, what was his design by engaging in such a commerce? You are in love with the daughter, added he, no doubt—but if you corrupt her, you are not an honest man; if you marry her, you are no longer my son.
“He left him as he pronounced these words; and Mr. Courteney, who, while he beheld it at a distance, thought his father’s displeasure might be sustained, was overwhelmed with the first effects of it, and relapsed into all his former doubts, anxiety, and irresolution.
“He retired to his own chamber to consider on what he ought to do; but unable to bear the cruel war which such contrary interests, such opposite wishes, such perplexed designs, raised in his mind, he hurried out of the house to lose reflection in a variety of objects, and took his way to the Park.
“He walked down the Mall: it was crouded with company which did not in the least engage his attention; he continued his walk, and finding himself at Buckingham-gate, his steps mechanically pursued the road that led to Chelsea.
“As soon as he saw himself near the place where his mistress resided, all other thoughts were absorbed in the transporting reflection, that he should see her within a few moments; his father’s threats were forgot, the loss of his favour filled him with no uneasy apprehensions. To how many revolutions is the human mind subject, when passion has assumed the reins of government which reason ought to hold! Mr. Courteney had almost imperceptibly to himself resumed his first design of offering his hand to miss Carlton.
“With very little difficulty he found out the house where her mother and she lodged; the door was opened to him by a girl, who, upon his enquiring if Mrs. Carlton was at home, told him she was sick in bed, and, showing him into a little parlour, ran up stairs to acquaint miss, as he supposed, that a gentleman was there.
“In a few minutes a venerable old woman appeared, who had so fixed a concern upon her countenance, that Mr. Courteney, shifting his thoughts from the illness of the mother to the apprehension of some possible misfortune to the daughter, (for love if it hopes all, fears all likewise,) asked her with great emotion if any thing extraordinary had happened to the ladies!
“The good woman, pleased with his solicitude, which she thought promised some relief, told him plainly, that Mrs. Carlton was in the utmost distress; that she had been ill several weeks; that she had not been able to procure proper advice; and added she, bursting into tears, she has even wanted common necessaries.”
“O my God! exclaimed Mr. Courteney, with a deep sigh; but miss—what is become of miss? Alas! Sir, replied the old woman, the dear child is almost dead with fatigue and grief; she has watched by her mother these ten nights successively, there is no persuading her to quit her for a moment. I left her in an agony of sorrow, for it is believed poor Mrs. Carlton cannot live three days.
“Conduct me to her, cried Mr. Courteney eagerly; I may possibly be able to comfort her; let me see her, I conjure you, immediately.
“Stay a moment, sir, said the old woman, stopping him, for he was making towards the door; I will go up first and inform the ladies. There is no occasion for that, said Mr. Courteney, Mrs. Carlton knows me very well; she will not I am sure be sorry to see me, I have something to say to her.
“The good woman, seeing his obstinacy, permitted him to follow her up stairs; she gently opened the chamber-door, and, approaching the bed where the sick lady lay, told her there was a friend of her’s, who desired to see her. Mr. Courteney entered that moment, and beheld a sight which called for more fortitude than he was at that time possessed of to support without tears.
“Mrs. Carlton lay extended on her bed, supported by a heighth of cushions to facilitate her breathing, which she seemed to do with great difficulty. Death appeared in her languid countenance; and an expression of the tender anguish of a mother for the child whom she was so soon to leave exposed to the insults of a barbarous world, mixed with the pious resignation of a christian, was impressed on every line of it.
“Miss Carlton was kneeling at the bed-side, and held one of her mother’s hands, which she was bending over in an agony of grief: upon hearing what the old woman said, she raised her head; and, directing her streaming eyes to the place where Mr. Courteney stood, showed him a face pale, emaciated, but lovely still; at sight of him a faint blush overspread her cheeks, and hastily turning to her mother, it is Mr. Courteney, my dear mamma, said she.
“Oh! Sir,” said Mrs. Carlton, perceiving him, you are very good to seek out affliction thus. I shall shortly be past all my cares; but what will become of this poor helpless orphan? The tears that streamed from her eyes prevented her further utterance.
“Mr. Courteney threw himself on his knees at the bed-side, and almost sobbing with the violence of his emotions at this affecting language, Oh! madam, said he, What must you not have suffered? why would you not accept what little assistance it was in my power to offer you? I know your delicate scruples—I come to beg you will give yourself a right to all my future services—I have something to communicate to you—But, added he, looking at the old woman who had introduced him, we are not alone.
“Speak freely, sir, said Mrs. Carlton, this good woman is my daughter’s nurse; she knows all my affairs; I am much indebted to her kindness and affection for my child.
“What I have to say, proceeded Mr. Courteney, relates to that dear, that lovely daughter: I loved her from the first moment I saw her; such innocence, such beauty, could not suggest any impure desire. As soon as I knew the force of my passion, which absence first made me know, I fixed its purpose. Permit me to offer her my hand; I cannot be happy without her.
“What do you say, sir? said Mrs. Carlton, excessively surprised: would you marry my daughter? Then after a little pause, No, pursued she, this can never be, your father will not consent to it.
“I own freely to you, madam, said Mr. Courteney, that I have no hopes of gaining my father’s consent; but when the affair is irretrievable, he will be softened, I am sure he will. Let not this scruple hinder you from giving your daughter a protector. Surely, said Mrs. Carlton, lifting up her eyes, the hand of Providence is here; and it would be impious to oppose its will. You have my consent, sir, said she to Mr. Courteney; would it pleased God that you had his also, whom it is your duty to consult on this occasion, and to obey if you can.
“Mr. Courteney assured her he would solicit his father’s consent; but that he could not be happy without miss Carlton, and was already determined.
“That young lady had retired into another room at the beginning of this discourse, in perturbations which may be better imagined than described. Mr. Courteney, by her mother’s permission, attended her: he approached her with a timidity, which the inequality of their circumstances considered, may seem surprising; but those who know the nature of a sincere and violent passion, will easily account for it: for fear, says an elegant writer,12 always accompanies love when it is great, as flames burn highest when they tremble most. He took her hand, and kissing it respectfully, told her that Mrs. Carlton had begun his felicity, by permitting him to offer himself to her acceptance as a husband, but that she only could complete it by her consent.
“Miss Carlton blushed, turned pale, and blushed again: at length she replied, that she had no other will than her mother’s. But this offer, added she, in an accent that expressed at once her surprise and gratitude, is so generous, so unexpected, so unhoped for—The last words seemed to escape her; she blushed more than before. Mr. Courteney took in all their tender meaning: he kissed her hand again in a rapture of joy, and was beginning to make her some passionate declarations, when they heard the nurse crying out for help.
“Surprise and joy at what had so lately happened, operated so powerfully on Mrs. Carlton’s almost exhausted spirits, that she had fallen into a fainting fit. Miss Carlton eagerly flew to her assistance, Mr. Courteney followed her with an anxious concern. As soon as she recovered, he told her he would instantly return to London, and dispatch a physician to attend her, and would be with her again the next evening.
“He took a tender farewel of his mistress, and calling the nurse aside, gave her twenty guineas to provide whatever was wanting, and hastened back to London.