The squirrel stood on its hind legs, twitched its nose and stared at Detective Jane Horsley. Jane stared back. The squirrel was a funny little fella. He was a patchwork of gray and red with a fantastic fountain of rust for a tail. She didn’t know what they called these crossbreeds. Patches, as she’d just christened him, cocked his head to one side and weighed her up with the same quizzical eye she reserved for him.
Detective Mike Kansas rubbed shoulders with Jane. “Do you think he’ll make a good witness?”
“I’m sure he saw something. I doubt much gets past him.”
Mike fished out his cell and poised a finger over the keypad, ready to punch in a number. “Shall I call in Sergeant Doolittle? I believe he speaks fluent squirrel.”
Jane turned to him. He was smiling as much as she. “Shut up, you fool.”
Mike put the phone away. “Jokes aside, we sure could do with a break.”
Jane sighed. He wasn’t wrong. The cul-de-sac burglaries, as the press had dubbed them, were an embarrassment to her and the department. She’d had excellent stats until this case. Her conviction rate was second to none. Although nothing was being said, not directly to her anyway, she knew the pressure was on to get a result. She was at the stage where she’d take a break-in, whatever shape or form it came in and she wouldn’t turn down an inquisitive squirrel in a hurry.
“C’mon,” Jane said. “Let’s not give the residents the image that we’re taking this case lightly.”
Mike led the way to the doorstep of 7 Heavenly Court, the last of the exclusive thirteen-home development to be burgled. Most people would have given their right arm to have Muir Woods as their backyard. But the high-profile thefts ended that dream. The homeowners couldn’t sell and the buyers weren't interested. Jane pressed the doorbell and got out her badge.
A slender man in his forties answered the door with a scowl. “About time you lot turned up. Your uniformed colleagues have done nothing but sit around and help themselves to coffee.”
“Mr. Carl Jordan?” Jane asked.
“Obviously.”
“I’m Detective Jane Horsley and this is—”
“I know who you are. I’ve seen enough of your excuses in the newspapers.” Jordan stood back. “Come in.”
Suitably scolded, Jane and Mike followed Jordan into his kitchen. Jordan didn’t sit, so Jane and Mike didn’t either. He thrust a single sheet torn from a legal pad at Jane.
She examined the handwritten list. “What’s this?”
“Everything that was taken.”
Jane scanned the list. The items listed were small, valuable, easily concealed, and easy to fence. Already, she didn’t fancy her chances at reclaiming any of the stolen belongings.
“My insurance company told me to make the list and give it to you. I just need a report number to file a claim. I don’t have any faith in you recovering my possessions but at least I can be compensated for my loss.”
It was a speech Jane had heard many times. Homeowners felt violated after a burglary and if they didn’t see immediate results, they played high and mighty with the cops. In some ways, Jordan’s antagonism was warranted. She and Mike had fallen down on the job twelve times before on Heavenly Court, why should this time be any different? She let Jordan’s scorn wash over her, never letting a drop soak in.
Jane handed the list to Mike. “I wonder if I can get a few details?”
“What for?”
“I believe the burglaries have been perpetrated by the same person and after thirteen burglaries, I wouldn’t be surprised to see cracks in his MO.”
Jordan snorted. “Practice makes imperfect.”
“That’s right, sir.”
“Yeah, but for whom—you or the thief?”
***
The detectives left Jordan’s house with the slammed door’s echo still ringing in their ears. Jane felt deflated. It was hard not to after Jordan’s farewell tough lashing.
“That was fun,” Mike said with a frown. “Now what?”
Jane wasn’t listening. The squirrel distracted her. Patches was still sitting in the same place where she’d first spotted him. He gestured to her with his tail.
“I think we should go back to the station and… Jane, are you listening to me?”
“I think he wants to show us something.”
“Who?”
“Him.”
“The squirrel?”
“C’mon.”
Making a move towards Patches, the squirrel scampered along the footpath separating 9 and 10 Heavenly Court. Patches was swift and both Jane and Mike struggled to keep up as the creature led them deep into the forest.
“This is ridiculous,” Mike grumbled between breaths.
Jane didn’t think so. She was sure she’d finally gotten her break.
Five minutes into the forest, Patches stopped in front of a tangle of interwoven trees waist deep in dense foliage. But upon closer inspection, they realized the foliage was in fact a tarp camouflaged to look like foliage. The squirrel disappeared inside.
Jane glanced at Mike. He frowned. She smiled.
The squirrel emerged with a pair of diamond earrings. The creature brandished the jewelry and chittered impatiently. Jane recognized them from the manifest of items stolen from 3 Heavenly Court. Mike yanked the tarp free, exposing everything stolen from Heavenly Court.
“I think we’ve got our thief,” Mike announced. “But how do we cuff him?”
Jane shook her head. “He’s not our perp. He couldn’t have moved that painting. But I have an idea who did.”
***
“Did you catch Jordan?” Jane asked.
“You were right,” Mike said. “He came back at five this morning to move the stash back to his house.”
“After systematically ripping off his neighbors, it was obvious he would have to stage his own break-in to allay suspicion.”
“How’s our furry crime fighter?”
“A lot better now that Jordan’s stash is off his winter reserves. Just goes to show, don’t ever come between a squirrel and his nuts.”