The question was: how to get revenge? He’d already tried once and Melvin Beederman had come to save the day. It was enough to make any bad guy want to throw up.
What to do? Joe wondered. It was a well-known fact that not only was Melvin Beederman a serious Grateful Fred fan, but he also had brains—noggin power. Joe never made it past sixth grade. How do you beat a smart guy who can bench press a Buick? How do you defeat a guy who can fly? Was it wise to mess with someone who can see your underwear? Joe didn’t have the answers. He just knew he had to try.
And so he spent the night thinking of his next move. He paced. He drank tons of coffee. He even watched a little of The Adventures of Thunderman. He wasn’t a big fan of Thunderman … or Thunder Thighs. He just wanted to pick up any tips he could. Thunderman was a superhero. How did the bad guys on the show deal with him?
The answer to Joe’s problem was to get help, of course. If he didn’t have much in the brain department, he’d find someone who did. When morning came, he headed off to see the only guy who could possibly have what he was looking for—Big Al.
Not only did Big Al rent lairs at Rent-a-Lair, he also sold bad-guy stuff. Big Al’s motto was Serving Southern California’s Bad Guys Since 1985. If anyone could solve Joe’s problem with The Grateful Fred, Al could.
“I have to get revenge on my enemy, Al. Any suggestions?”
Al stroked his chin. “Ah … revenge. A worthy cause. Are you sure I can’t interest you in a new lair? Look at this baby, comes with an indoor Jacuzzi.”
“I already have a lair. What do you have in the way of gadgets? In the destroy-your-enemy department?”
“We’re having a sale on time bombs. Buy one, get one free.” Al gestured to a large stack of bombs. “They even come in a variety of colors—orange, green, and blue.”
Joe thought about this. He had already tried a bomb, but Melvin showed up just in the nick of time.
Joe shook his head. “What else do you have?”
“Not in the mood to blow someone up, eh?”
“Not really.”
“Well, you can always frame him,” Al suggested. “You know, make your enemy look bad, then let the police make his life miserable.”
Al was too brilliant for words! This was the idea Joe was looking for.
Al took him into his office and closed the door. He pointed to a box across the room. “The Clone-o-Matic 6000, by Acme.”
“Acme?” Joe was confused. “The bologna company?”
“Acme’s into everything. They do more than bologna.”
Al gave Joe a big discount on the cloning machine. After all, Joe was a faithful customer. And there wasn’t a lot of that going around in the bad-guy community. There also wasn’t a big demand for cloning your enemies.
Joe could hardly wait to get back to his lair and clone a Fred. Or two.
