Chapter Sixteen

The following morning, Carolina woke early. Her stomach was all-aflutter with butterflies and once again she confronted the problem of what she would say to her mother and sister. More importantly, she wondered what they would say when she showed up at their front door, assuming her mother was still alive.

She decided to wear one of the new outfits she purchased in Amarillo and chose a white three-quarter length sleeve stretch V-neck top with the black gaucho pants and a pair of black sling-back sandals and her black earrings and bracelet.

After she showered and dressed and fixed her hair and make-up, she made the bed and straightened her bath, although she had been ordered to leave that for the housekeeper. But, never having had the luxury of a housekeeper made picking up after herself a habit she couldn’t break, not to mention that she’d feel uncomfortable leaving her mess for someone else. Funny, she thought, she didn’t have that problem in hotels, except she never left her personal belongings strewn about—she simply left the bed unmade and bath to be cleaned.

Before leaving her bedroom she took a deep breath to try to calm her stomach. Stepping out into the hall she ran into Stede heading her way, which brought a smile to her face along with a sigh of relief.

He greeted her with a smile, too, and then a kiss. “M-m-m, you smell very tempting,” he said as he put his hand around her waist and led her toward the dining room. “Ready for your big day?”

“As ready as I’ll ever be, I suppose.”

His parents were already seated at the dining room table when they entered and stood to give them both a hug and a warm greeting.

Nancy, smiled and said, “Carolina, I had a delicacy made especially for you for this morning. I do hope you enjoy the meal.”

“I’m sure, everything will be wonderful. Thank you.”

At that moment, she felt a nudge under the table from Stede’s boot and looked up to see a warning signal in his eyes. She simply couldn’t imagine what rare delicacy they would be having for breakfast, but it was obvious he expected she’d react and he alerted her to remain calm.

She had eaten in hotels across the country and throughout Europe and had tasted many cultural foods. Not all were pleasing to the palate, but she seemed to always manage and refrained from insulting others.

Breakfast began with fresh squeezed orange juice, coffee and warm sweet rolls. She ordinarily might have skipped the sweet roll, but since her stomach already stirred, she decided she’d need the carbohydrate to absorb anything that might make her feel queasy.

The plate set before her was beautifully presented, consisting of a large helping of scrambled eggs, bacon and slices of fresh fruit. She kept her head lowered but raised her eyes to look at Stede. He kept occupied putting salt and pepper on his eggs, and she followed suit, then gave a shrug and picked up her fork.

The eggs were a tad too soft for her, slightly unusual tasting, although palatable. As she reached for her juice, Stede’s dad asked her, “How do you like the calves’ brains, Carolina?”

How she managed not to be sick on the porcelain plate, she’ll never know. She put the glass of juice down, deciding on the spur of the moment, that orange juice would not mix well with an acid stomach.

She placed her hands on her lap and held onto her knees and prayed she wouldn’t be ill and embarrass Stede and herself. Taking a deep breath, she said, “I had no idea. Actually they taste like soft scrambled eggs.”

Stede smiled at her and gave her a wink across the table, while his mother remarked that she was happy she liked them. So, with her trailer park and boarding house upbringing, she smiled and covered her calves’ brains with lots more black pepper, asked for some toast, and made a sandwich of bacon and brains. That was the only way she knew how to get through the meal without making a spectacle of herself.

Wiping her mouth between bites of her sandwich that she downed with coffee, she remarked, “Ever since I was a child, my favorite breakfast was a scrambled egg and bacon sandwich. Old habits die hard. I do apologize.”

“Oh, don’t, I’m going to try that—looks delicious,” his dad said.

Stede blended their plans for the day into the conversations and told his parents that he offered to drive her to visit her sister and her family in Plano, mentioning she hadn’t seen her since she moved to Texas, which wasn’t exactly a lie.

Then he squelched any other questions by saying her sister worked and had a couple of children and he convinced Carolina to stay at the ranch because they’d be heading back to Arizona in the next day or two and she had a return ticket to Washington leaving from Phoenix.

By the time, he told his mother not to expect them for dinner and explained they’d be late, Carolina couldn’t wait to get out of the house. They said their goodbyes and left King to roam around the ranch to get a lot of exercise, as they headed for Plano.

As they pulled out of the driveway, Carolina shifted uneasily in her seat. Stede reached over and took her hand. “Are you all right? You were looking a bit pale in there, but I’m very proud how you handled the breakfast. I had a hard time trying to keep from laughing, especially when you camouflaged the brains in toast in order to valiantly get them down.”

“Did you know your mother was going to serve that?”

“No.”

“Fortunately, the calves’ brains weren’t that bad. But, I would have been better off if your father hadn’t told me what they were. Then, your explanation about where we were going today added to the upset because I feared your mother would ask questions about my sister that I couldn’t answer.”

“She probably wouldn’t have gone that far. She does have some redeeming social qualities,” he laughed. “She went to college and had a good job with an oil company. My dad met her when they attended the same seminar and her boss introduced them.”

“I didn’t mean to suggest she wasn’t educated. I probably would have guessed her profession had been a news journalist.”

They laughed together and Stede pointed out places of interest as they drove through Dallas that he thought she’d be interested in seeing. “There is a large open outdoor market, a Women’s Museum, and the zoo, which is my favorite. The new slogan for Texas is ‘Live Large, Think Big!’”

When they arrived in Plano, Stede pulled the truck over and looked at the map. “Are you certain you don’t want to call first? What if no one’s at home? The kids will be in school and your mother, if she still lives there, may not be home either.”

“I don’t know what I want to do. I’m nervous. Actually, I’d like to deal with them separately.”

“Here, give me Lizzie’s phone number.” Stede dialed the number and after several rings, a woman answered.

“Good morning, Ma’am, I’m looking for Elizabeth Carpenter. I have a florist delivery. Well, if you give me her work address I’ll deliver them there.”

Stede jotted down the address, said a quick thank you and hung up before the woman on the other end of the phone could ask any questions.

“Your sister works in a beauty parlor, and I have a feeling we’re not too far away. That may have been your mother who answered the phone.” He entered the address on his GPS, then turned toward Carolina. “Are you ready?”

She closed her eyes for a moment and then looked at him. “The abandonment is the one that hurts the most and I understand the least.” She gave a quick shake of her head and with a wry smile glanced down at her lap and smoothed a wrinkle in her gaucho pants.

“In some ways, Carl was easier.”

Stede squeezed her hand for support and waited, giving her all the time she needed. But she’d let too much time pass already.

“However long I wait, though, this will always be difficult.” She took a deep breath and raised her eyes to his. “Let’s go.”

“That’s my girl.” Stede pulled out of the parking space and made a u-turn. Ten minutes later, he signaled and made a quick right into a strip mall. He parked in front of Garbo’s Beauty Salon that had a Greta Garbo profile in neon lights in the window.

“Do you want to go in alone or do you want me to go with you?”

“Come with me, please.”

“That’s why I’m here,” he said, reaching over to give her a kiss. “Don’t be afraid.”

He got out of the truck, walked around to the passenger side and took Carolina’s hand, kissed her palm and led her into the shop.

Carolina felt her knees begin to shake and her palms sweat, but Stede tightened his grip and stood beside her. Sitting at the receptionist’s desk, facing sideways, sat Lizzie, beautiful as ever and apparently doing well, more filled out than she remembered, her lovely dark hair cut shoulder length and softly curled around her face, her pale skin as fine and blemish free as ever.

Carolina was speechless. She had thought of Lizzie constantly, worried about what had happened to her. Had she reached her mother? Why hadn’t she written? Knowing Carl’s brutality firsthand, how could she have left her in Arizona and never bothered to send for her?

Lizzie turned and faced them, smiling. “May I help… Oh, my God!” Her hands flew to her mouth, her face staring with shock and disbelief. “Mary?” she whispered, her eyes racing over Carolina from head to toe and back again in an apparent effort to confirm she wasn’t seeing a ghost.

“My little sister, Mary,” she yelled, getting out of her chair, capturing the curious attention of shop patrons and hairstylists alike, as she stood there for what seemed an eternity to Carolina, who wasn’t sure yet if she was a welcome sight to Lizzie or not. Then her sister let out a squeal of delight and rushing around the desk, crushed Carolina to her.

Just as suddenly as Lizzie grabbed her, she released her and pulled back, “Look at you! Oh…my…God!”

Lizzie turned toward Stede. “She’s more beautiful than ever.” Then she turned back, gesturing jerkily at Carolina. “Hey everybody, this is my beautiful sister I told you about. God, how did you find me? And what took you so long? Where have you been all this time, Mary?”

Where had she been? Right where they left her. For three horrible years, until she escaped, no thanks to Lizzie or her mother.

Stede put his arm around Carolina. “Say something. Let me know you’re going to be okay.” He took one look at her and turned toward Lizzie. “Maybe we should go outside.”

Lizzie took her hand and said, “There’s a little restaurant a few doors down. We can sit outside and talk.”

As soon as Carolina was able to get a breath of fresh air, she began breathing. She looked at Lizzie and unchecked tears flowed down her cheeks. Stede gave her his handkerchief and guided both women to an umbrella table in the far corner, surprised at how different the sisters looked, and went inside to order some coffee and water.

When he came back out, he scooted his chair next to Carolina’s and introduced himself to Lizzie, who still waited for a tearful Carolina to speak. Lizzie dabbed her own eyes asked him if he was Mary’s husband, and he replied, “Not yet.”

Carolina gathered her wits about her and blew her nose. She told Lizzie that she had changed her name to Carolina and also explained who Stede was and how they met and how she had recently gotten the letters his grandmother had saved.

“Mother will be shocked and delighted to see you and to know you’re all right, Mary, or Carolina.”

Lizzie turned toward Stede. “She’s as beautiful as she always was. You’ve no idea how much we’ve suffered wondering about her and how awful we felt when we realized what a mistake we made leaving her alone with Carl.”

“Carolina said you had agreed that you’d have a better chance of reaching Texas if you went alone.”

“That’s true, but we were young and frightened and didn’t think. I should have stayed with you, Carolina, until mother could afford to send the money for both of us, or maybe we should have accepted Stede’s grandmother’s offer to give us the extra money.”

“I’ve seen Carl, Lizzie,” Carolina said.

“Why would you go to see Carl? I hoped he was dead and no longer a threat to anyone,” she added, involuntarily balling a fist.

“I went to forgive him. He’s in a nursing home in Sage Canyon, and I can tell you he has no remorse. However, he doesn’t have long to live either. He’s quite ill.”

“I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me for leaving you behind with that monster.”

Carolina reached over and grabbed Lizzie’s hand. “Did you really worry about me?”

“Oh, Carolina. When I arrived in Texas, our mother was a mess,” Lizzie explained. “She’d become an alcoholic and couldn’t hold down a job for more than a week. I didn’t know what had happened to her.

“Four months later we were evicted from her cockroach infested efficiency. With nowhere to live and no money to sustain us, much less send for you, I took her to a shelter. We lived there for months. They put her in rehab and she was in and out of that like a revolving door for two years. The good thing is that they paid for me to go to cosmetology school.

“Once I started to earn some money, I was finally able to get us an apartment, well one room, a kitchenette and bath. I even had to rent some cheap furniture, because I could barely afford to pay the rent and utilities and buy food too, so we didn’t have a telephone. With some help from the gals I worked with, I learned how to get mom on welfare and that helped. Eventually I was able to afford some group therapy sessions for her at the shelter.”

Carolina sat there like a statue, taking in all Lizzie told her about the situation she found herself in when she got to Dallas. Her eyes welled up with tears as she realized how much her sister had suffered and she was proud that she had survived, too.

“Mother was never a very strong person. You know that. If she had been, she never would’ve abandoned us, like she did. She had no skills, never really worked outside the home much, and didn’t have any place to go when she lit out from the rust bucket that day when Carl left for the copper mine, and for sure he didn’t have much money.

“She couldn’t take care of herself, let alone the two of us. I think the only reason she scraped enough money together to send for me when she did was because I was old enough to work. Frankly, I don’t know which was worse for her—being with Carl or being without him, strange as that sounds.”

“You’re a survivor, like me, Lizzie.”

“Yes, I suppose you’re right. My hands were full taking care of mother, dragging her out of nightclubs or wondering where she was when I couldn’t find her; afraid I’d find her dead in some alley. Sometimes she would be gone for days before I either located her or the cops found me to come pick her up after she spent a night or two in jail sleeping off a drunk. I was alone and scared and worried that she’d cause me to lose my job.”

“At least you didn’t have the physical abuse to deal with—even what you went through would have been preferable to that.”

Lizzie nodded. “I was scared for you, but I had to take care of mother. For a long time I didn’t have the means to send for you or a place for you to stay, other than the shelter. I was also apprehensive about writing because I couldn’t trust mother not to attempt to contact Carl. By the time she began to remain on the mend, attend AA regularly, and was able to hold down a job, we sent for you, but we were too late. You were gone. Mrs. Dugan had written in answer to our letters and we learned that you had escaped.”

Lizzie reached over and touched Carolina’s hand. “Even though we took some comfort in the fact that you had gotten away, we always worried about what had happened to you. You seemed to have dropped off the face of the earth. Much later, when I learned how to use a computer, I searched for you on the Internet. But I couldn’t find you. Now I know why. You had a different name.

“Carolina, honey, not a birthday or Christmas or New Year’s went by that I didn’t think of you and pray that one day you’d find us. Now you have. I hope you can forgive me for leaving you.”

Carolina removed her hand from Stede’s and took Lizzie’s hand in both of hers. “I do forgive you, Lizzie. I wasn’t your responsibility. Your words eradicate many years of feelings of abandonment and hurt. I’m sorry your life was such a struggle, being homeless and poor and having to deal with a dysfunctional parent also.”

“Mother is fine now, otherwise I would never have allowed her to live with us and take care of my children.” Lizzie stood up and said, “Let me tell the girls at the shop that I have to leave for the day, and if you follow me in your car, I’ll take you to my place and you can see her. Then you can meet my husband and see my children when they get home from camp. Would you like to do that?”

Stede nodded and as soon as Lizzie headed back toward the beauty salon, he stood and took Carolina’s hands helping her to stand, then pulled her to him. He ran his hands up and down her back, comforting her.

“Everything will be all right. They love you, Carolina.”

****

They followed Lizzie to her home and Stede drove with one hand, holding onto Carolina’s the entire time. “What are you thinking?”

“How unbelievable this reunion is; after all the years of hurt and feelings of rejection, the truth is that my sister, my best friend, hadn’t deserted me, at least not in spirit. How much pain and stress over being separated from one another we endured because of our parents.”

“Are you going to tell them about your life with Carl?”

She shook her head. “No. Why should I add more sorrow and guilt to Lizzie’s life? I’ll tell them about the accomplishments I made after I ran away.”

“That sounds like a healthy attitude. What about your mother? How do you feel about what Lizzie told you about her?”

“I guess I won’t know how I feel until I see her face to face. When she left us, even though I was a young girl, I understood why and I always thought she was a strong person. Turns out, and I don’t know how, but Lizzie and I were the ones who were strong.”