Lemme out, lemme out, lemme out out out!
Why am I in a cage? I don’t know why.
I want OUT OUT OUT!
"Shaddup!"
I want OUT OUT OUT!
"Oh, my word, you can bark!"
I’m here, see, in this cage with this dope who answers to the name of Nothin’. “Hey, Nothin’” Sanchez will yell, and look at 'im, he wags his whole behind. But it ain’t because he’s happy. Nobody here is happy, and I miss that. We dogs, we are a happy bunch.
I got a name. It’s Bob. I’m Bob.
I miss Buddy so much. I smell Buddy in my head. He’s got this special smell, see, it’s all his. It’s just my Buddy. He’s tall now, but he was a kid and his voice was high. I like the kids, they like to play. I’m just plain wonderful with a Frisbee™, I gotta tell you. I can get that thing. I mean, I am lying here thinking about Buddy and I can just taste of that red wonderful Frisbee we had.
I remember the way the wind smells when you run. I do remember that. Do you smell things? I wonder about that some. You have funny little noses. Me, I’m all nose. Great big nose on one end and a sail of a tail on the other, food machine in between.
I got a loverly tail, my friends. I have to admit it. I can wag that thing so hard you can see my laughter in it. ‘Cept I ain’t laughin’ now. I ain’t wagged my tail a whole lot lately.
I remember all the ways Buddy smelled and sounded. ‘Cause I could hear his heart in his voice, same way I could smell his soul in his sweat.
We had horses and cattle. We had big horses that ran in the fields. We had cattle, and I was just plain born to work them beasts. My mom was called Culebra. Now, Culebra was a very good dog. She had plenty of pups, and lots of ‘em went to other places. We are good with cattle, it’s just how we are. So we had a lotta work. When I grew up, Culebra and I worked together as partners.
We work cattle, it’s in our blood and we love it. You bark at them big dumb lugs, they are gonna go where you send them. Hey, it’s a rush, okay?
I didn’t go like the other pups. Buddy came in and said, “I want that one.”
“I want that one.” Them are golden words. You think we don’t understand your words? You’d be surprised. We got ears, we can hear the difference between happy and sad, nice and mean. We get your drift, people.
We also try to figure out the details! Somebody’s yellin’ gibblegobbldeBOBdeforopoodefarpBOB!’ and you sure want to know, “what is he sayin’ for me to do?” ‘Cause you want to do it so bad, whatever it is.
Then if a bad’un gives you a big kick, knocks you down, you wanta growl, you wanta bite, you try not to, then he gives you another and you just—I mean, you gotta do somethin’! So you light into that boot. Do the boot, spare the kicker.
Then you look up at him and you are smilin’ your best smile, you are so ashamed you bit that darned boot like that. He kicks you again, so this time you say, “Whoa, I’m done. This dog has had it.” You roll for him and put your paws up in the air, and you give ‘im your biggest flop-jowl grin.
‘Cept I’m not real pretty. So I’m apt to get kicked again if I roll. Just ‘cause a ugly dog like ole Bob give up, they ain’t gonna stop kickin’ him, not around here. Buddy and Dad and Mom, they never kicked me. I been kicked lately, though. But you don’t wanna hear about that, that's my problemo.
You ever watch birds? Oh, my. I mean, they get up there in the trees! They are free in the wind.
Don’t see no birds here, ‘cept a glimpse now and then if I look up, or their shadows pass.
This cage smells like about all the dogs that have ever been. This cage isn’t big enough to turn around in, not without getting tangled up in Nothin’s long fur. Maybe if Nothin’ goes first, they gonna bring a littler dog in here with Bob. Not a happy dog, though. Nope. I want to be with happy dogs. I’m so looooooonnnnneeeelllyyyyyyy.
“Stop that howlin', sheeush!”
I been tryin’ to figure out why I’m in here. Where’d you go, Buddy? Hey, Buddy! Buddy! Buddy!
“STOP THAT BARKIN'!”
Oops.
This place got a lotta cages. It’s got a hole in the roof, you can see through to the sky. The clouds go by. The birds I sometimes see. I like the black, noisy birds. They’re ugly like Bob. Bet they get their asses kicked plenty. Wonder if birds love anybody? Each other, maybe. Bet they never love nobody like us dogs love you, though. We sure do love you, you know that? You want your dog to be happy, give ‘im a “good dog.” That’ll last.
‘Cept my Buddy is gone, so I got nobody to make me happy. Why’d he leave me? I guess there’s gotta be a good reason. ‘Cause Buddy loved me. Yes he did, oh yes so why am I here, Buddy? I miss you so much, Buddy. Hey, Buddy! Bob! Bob! Bob! Bob’s missin’ you!
“QUIET, ya darn barker, you ain’t goin’ nowhere fella.”
Oh, here you come, Sanchez, with your slops. He pushes in the pan. I watch Nothin’ gobble. I can’t remember the time I got somethin’ I really wanted to eat. I mean, this stuff, it don’t even smell like food. Way I see it, if it don’t smell like food, what good’s it gonna do this dog?
I like it when it’s got smell all over it, you stick your muzzle down in it and pull it up, and get it in your teeth and that smell and that taste, they go through your whole head, and they are just as right as they can be.
Then you get it down in your gut, and it helps you want to run and jump up in the sky and dash with the birds, you want to run out in the cornfield after they cut it and chase the crows. You want to run in the green fields with Buddy, and he throws the Frisbee and it circles in the sky and here it comes, here it comes and you are pushing off, you are in the blue air—and you got it! You got it, you cannot imagine how that feels, how it feels to hear Buddy yell “yeah, Bob, oh yeah Bob!” and you take it back to him, and he gets it in his hands that can send it in the sky.
Well, now, there is a memory. But I’m not just about Buddy and Frisbees, I’m about gettin’ my share a cuttin’ cattle an enjoyin’ pups. I am serious about protecting pups, an raisin’ ‘em. Plus, they gotta learn to tussle an’ fight, and that’s my job. I go owwrrroowaa at ‘em and shake my head around and they go yip yip and run all over me.
Then people come and they take ‘em and Buddy takes me an Culebra runnin’ through the woods and past the talkin’ water, an my Buddy, he runs our sads right out of us. When we get back, it’s finished.
You know, a little dog like the pups are, when he is just openin’ his eyes, he likes what he sees. We just do. Like I say, we dogs are a glad bunch. I guess I say it too much. It's what we are. Dog loves to wag that tail!
You put your hand on my head and I am gonna be glad. I am lyin’ here now thinkin’ about all of you. I like the way you smell. I like the way you sound. I like the way your touch feels on me.
Like I say, I am gonna bite the boot, not the man. ‘Cept maybe Sanchez, ‘cause he comes in here, he takes the dogs one after t’other, and they don’t come back no more.
There is a gate, my friends, oh yes, and what dog goes through that gate, he is gone.
Except sometimes. Sometimes people come in and then we dogs get excited and all that, and the people, they take a dog!
Now I smell people, and that means today is a day when they’re comin’ in. This is a hard day for Bob, ‘cause I wanna go with them and that ain’t gonna happen. I know I'm a big lug. I ain't purty. Ugly dog feels just as much, though, loves just as much, too, but, you know, I ain’t gonna add to the décor.
Anyway, I’m a workin’ dog. Sure, I like to play, but I need my cattle work or I feel just—well—I just gotta do my work is all. I miss those beasts.
I ran with Buddy for a long time, then when he was gone, I went lookin' for him. Then I get put in this cage.
The big door opens and all the smells of the outside come in and every dog in here, he goes to the front of his cage, and there is all these dogfaces lookin’ out.
“Hey! I’m Bob! Bob! Bob! Bob!”
“That’s a big ole barker, Ma’am, please step back from there.”
“I’m Bob! Bob! Bob! Bob!”
“Shaddup!”
Oops. But smell how good they smell! And kids—I see kids! Oh, I love kids! I wanna go! Hey, I’m Bob! Hey! Hey! HEYHEYHEY!
Bang, Sanchez kicks the cage. Bang! “Shaddup!” Then all soft, "Sorry ma'am."
They got a kid looks like Buddy! He’s like Buddy was ‘fore he grew up, he gotta know Buddy!
HEYHEYHEY! I’m Bob! Bob!
“I’m so sorry!"
They’re goin’ past! Can’t they hear? I’m tellin’ ‘em and tellin’ ‘em but they don’t listen! Down they go to where they got all the dumb little dogs can’t cut cattle, can’t get ridda the cats you don’t want, can’t do nothin’!
“Oo, is this a poodle? Is she a little bitty poodle girl?”
“It’s a mix, ma’am, but it’s a real nice little dog. We spayed her last week, she’s ready to go.”
Look at that thing, all wag and no tail. They’re takin’ her out, the little dumb fur ball. They’re takin’ that waggin, squirmin,’ peein’ little thing right outa here.
Outa here! Outa here! Outa here! HEY! HEY!
“Shaddup! Sorry, ma'am!”
“What kind of dog is it?”
“A big, ugly dog, ma’am. We got the ole fella in last week. He's a cattle dog. Why he hit the road, there's no way a knowin'. Them dogs, they generally stay with their herds.”
“How long do you keep ‘em?”
“Ma’am, it varies. For a big one like that, has no chance of placement, the county commissioners want me to just keep him seven days.”
HEYHEYHEY! HEYHEYHEY!
“Shaddup!
“I never heard such a loud bark. Couldn’t you find where he came from and take him back?”
“That old vagabond? Not likely. His collar was gone, an’ he's got a real good lope on him. Could be fifty miles from home, easy. So that’s pretty much it. But the truth is, I always try for my animals. I been callin’ ranches, lookin’ for work for him.”
“How many dogs do you place, overall?”
Soon's she asks that, I smell sad come on Sanchez. “That little lady of yours answers to the name of Tutu. She's real sweet, I give her a bath, I got her all ready.”
He picks up the fluff ball. "Here, she's just real excited." Sanchez is smilin' hard. "She's all ready," he says again.
“Tutu! Hi, Tutu!”
Lookit that wigglin’ little thing, she's hardly even there. You want a real dog, take Bob! HEYHEY! Take Bob!
Wham! The door closes. It gets dark. All the beggin’ dogs shut their traps. It’s another no for me, too, o’course. I might be ugly but I packed behind Buddy for all my life so don’t that make me special? I packed with BUDDY and that makes me top dog! HEYHEYHEY!
No use in talkin'. They're gone. Took the little fluffball, lucky dog.
So you might as well go to sleep, dream some dog dreams.
I remember we used to come into town in the truck and I would stand in the back with my nose out into the wind, just smellin’ all the people and food and other dogs, the birds of the air and the slinky cats and all, and the flowers and the trees of town, the whole lots of different kinds of grass, each with its own smell, and seein’ it all in the sun.
Then we’d go down the sidewalk with me on my leash that I would carry in my mouth if Buddy would let me, cause I ain’t a leash-dog, you see. I came back to town ‘cause I thought maybe Buddy had come in and forgot me. Wrong!
I got to find my Buddy, ‘cause this is all wrong. I mean, Buddy and me, we belong to each other.
Buddy! Buddy! Buddy!
“Shaddup!”
Oops. Sanchez is back already. Sanchez, he don’t like it when I call Buddy. But my heart is breaking, I gotta get him to hear me. I like the way he smells so much and it’s been such a long time since I smelled him. I want to smell my Buddy!
“Look at you, you ain’t got a raindrop’s chance in hell, you poor ole guy. How’m I gonna get anybody to take you? And you still got bugs, don’tcha? I’m gonna need to dip you again, ole fella, ‘less I go ahead and do you.”
Why’s he lookin’ at me like that? I don’t wanna go with him, I don’t like that! A lotta dogs, you see ‘em go, and that is all, my friend!
I am not gonna go! But he’s got me, he’s bustin’ my throat, I can’t stay back, that hurts, don’t you know that hurts me? I am going. I am going. Okay! We go to the big door.
Hey! Hey!
“Shaddup!”
Oops. We go out, wow, it’s so light! I ain’t seen this much light in a long time! I remember Buddy always had light around him. Except Buddy’s eyes, you look into them, it makes you just sorta cry, there is something so big in there. This man, Sanchez, his eyes are even darker and bigger.
But wait, where's he takin' me? What's that little bitty box?
No! No! NO!
“Just relax old fella!”
NONONO! NONONO!
“Slow down here, hey—oh!”
Wait a second—I got away. I slipped the collar.
“C’mere, guy.”
Now he sounds nice.
“Yeah, that’s right! Come on, come to papa!”
Um, nope.
“Come on, ole fella, I got a lotta dogs to feed yet.”
I am running! I am running I am going down the stairs, I am running and there is the street and I am going crash—uh-oh, I broke that, it’s all over the place!
“My gawd!”
Lookit all these cars, I love cars! I wanna ride past the flying stream in the green hills, past the possum in the bush and the coon in the tree, past the sweet grass and the sour grass. I want to ride! Take me! Take me!
Uh-oh, Sanchez is comin’ out. He’s got a thing in his hand. I remember that thing, I got all tangled up in it. That’s how he got me. No way, Bob is not gonna get tangled up in that thing again.
“C’mon, ole fella! Hey, fella! Here, ole guy!”
Do I smell meat? Oh, look, it’s in his other hand, a big red piece of meat. I didn’t know he had that. I thought he only had slops. Oh, that smells good! I want that!
“That’s right, ole guy, it’s for you! C’mon, come to papa!”
Now, wait a minute, here. I don’t only smell the meat, I see it. I see it in his hand. But I see the thing, he’s got that, too, in the other one.
“C’mon, guy. You’re hungry, right? C’mon.”
Mmmm! Oh my nose, oh my stomach!
“C’mon, that’s right. Tha-a-at’s right.”
No! Beware.
“Here, boy.”
I gotta. I gotta.
“Atta boy! Come for it! Come get it!”
The thing, it’s moving. NONONO!
“It’s okay, good dog! Good dog!”
You back off! RRRRRRRReal fast! Back! BACKBACK!
“Awright, cool it!”
Now he’s gone and the meat’s gone too, but I’m still out on the street and I can go back to lookin' for Buddy. He’s somewhere in the town, we just got split up, I know it. But first I got to get far away from Sanchez, far, far away!