I had been back home for a couple months and was still learning how to be a normal human being. It was hard to just live a regular life. I joined the Army with my twin brother when I was twenty-two and spent over a decade there. We went places no person should ever have to go and saw things we could never unsee. Now, I was back home working with some of my brothers-in-arms. We pooled all of our money to buy hundreds of acres of land and several businesses.
We had a man we called Boss or The Calvary who basically ran all things us. He was the best man for the job because it was hard as hell to wrangle all of us jokers. Boss had picked out his own team from a huge group of men from all factions many years ago. We had a contest of young versus old with two team captains, Boss being one of them (obviously the young team). I had a weird variety of skills, so I was actually unsure why he picked me at that time.
All the men called in to be part of the pool to choose from were waiting anxiously to get picked. My brother, Tupac, was a shoo-in; he was a ghost. Tupac had the ability to get in and out of a place undetected. If he was seen, there were always conflicting witness reports on his actual existence. There were legends of his death told around the world. I wasn’t surprised when he got picked; my brother was always a badass.
We are twins, but not the identical kind, even though people think it all the time. I was shorter and stockier at my height of five eleven. Tupac was four inches taller than me and leaner. We had identical dark skin, facial features, and mannerisms, but that was where the similarities ended for us. Our hair was different, our bodies built like two strangers, and personalities like night and day. My eyes were from my mom, light blue. Tupac had green eyes from my dad. Ladies loved our eyes, and we never had a problem picking one up.
I am a jack-of-all-trades guy and not specifically an expert in anything. The reason my commanding officer liked me is because I was like a bench player who could play every position. If a man couldn’t do their job for some reason, I filled in. I could work with explosives, firearms, computers, do hand-to-hand combat, or undercover work. With a set of brown contacts in and my ability to speak Arabic, I did well in sandy places.
I remembered gazing around at the group of men with me. There were so many there who had a ton of talent. It was weird I was even in the pool at all. The men there were the best of the best in their respective fields. You could feel anticipation running through the crowd as both teams slowly filled up. Even as my name was called, I was still looking around to see who it was that had been called to join the team. A guy in my unit had to elbow me and say I got picked. My brother was waving at me with a look on his face that indicated I was an idiot. It was one of my proudest moments to walk to that stage and join a new unit that would change my life.
There were fifteen of us in total when we started and became a well-known special ops team. We were down to ten one night, after years of being together, and we sat next to a campfire. Boss asked what we were all looking forward to once we got out. It was a strange paradox, when every one of us wanted a country home and a simple life with good jobs. Boss suggested we all pool our money to buy a huge plot of land and start a business or two.
It was a great idea and would eliminate us all struggling on our own. I suggested Nebraska and pulled up my dream plot of land on a realty app on my phone. It had hundreds of acres and plenty of room for all we had just planned. I took Boss and a few of the men who were on leave to check it out with me. The property had previously been a Bible camp, summer camp, and farm among other things. There was a big farmhouse and more than ten cabins providing housing for all of us. Additionally, there was a small lake, a barn, and land that could be used for anything we dreamed of. We bought it the following day.
Tristan, aka Boss, had always wanted an official farmhouse, so unanimously we voted he would get the house that was already there. It was him who got us where we are now, so it was the right thing to do. We decided to do a drawing to see whose house would be built first out of the rest of us. Ace, our resident genius, won the first spot, and Blaze, our main firebug, pulled slot two. Doc, the medical man of the group pulled number three. Gage was the pain in the ass of the group, somehow got fourth place. I could go on, but I got seventh place.
This didn’t bother me, as I liked working at the main company Boss set up, Phantom Inc. We did security, private investigations, government jobs, and various other things. There was no advertising necessary because we were the best. Since we were the best, we only took clients who could pay the big bucks. Phantom Inc. ended up paying for half of our home constructions in full before one house was even built.
On top of that, we could also work at Ace’s Garage, Gage’s gun range, or Walsh Inc., Boss’ construction company. The sky was the limit with all of us working together. Boss had worked out all the details of how to do the money split. There was a core amount we all kicked in, and the rest went to each man’s bank account. I made over six figures the past two years. You would think I was flying high on top of the world; I wasn’t.
When I was sixteen years old, I fell in love with the girl next door. For years, I lived next to an elderly couple, Mr. and Mrs. Parker, who were genuinely nice, but it was always just them with no other family. Out of the blue, a woman with her daughter arrived at the Parker’s farm, changing my life forever.
I was thirteen riding my four-wheeler on the outskirts of my family’s farm, and I saw an older woman I didn’t know riding a horse. Right after seeing her, a girl my age was galloping past her, smiling, and laughing. The long auburn curls atop her head were flying in the wind, and she looked like a young warrior. She rode the horse like she was born to it.
I stopped and waved when they saw me. They waved back, and I was just close enough to see the smile on the girl’s face. She was the prettiest damn girl I ever saw. I knew for a fact she never went to school here. That was a girl I would not forget. I sighed big; she was probably just on vacation seeing her grandparents. There was no doubt Mom would know, so I rode home to find out if she knew who was at the Parker’s place.
As always, Mom was all over the small-town gossip. Gary and Estelle Parker’s daughter, Sarah, had moved in with them, and she had a daughter named Mackenzie that came with her. The girl even had a really cool name; Mackenzie. I repeated it inside my head. She was so darn pretty. I decided I was going over to the Parker’s in the morning as early as was proper to see if she wanted to hang out.
I had to go through a complete interrogation that next morning. Mr. Parker was profoundly serious about his granddaughter and called my mom to make sure we would be supervised. She promised my older brother, Joseph, would keep an eye on us. He also showed me his gun and hunting awards that covered a wall in his office. Mr. Parker explained a curfew was a curfew, not a second later than the agreed upon time would be tolerated. I was terrified but not deterred.
This all happened before I even had a chance to meet Mackenzie and ask if she even wanted to go. We were just going to the swimming hole right next door at my farm. I was trying to review Mr. Parker’s list of rules in my brain, so I could make sure I followed each one to the letter. Mr. Parker cleared his throat, and I realized his hand was held out for me to take. We shook on it, and he emphasized that a man’s word meant nothing if he broke it.
I nodded and stuttered, “I, I, I promise, sir. I aim to keep my word.” There was no way I would cross this guy. He must have felt my sincerity and finally called for her after a half hour long interrogation.
“Mazy, this is one of the neighbor boys, Cain Hendrix,” Mr. Parker said while pointing to me.
She put up her hand and gave a small wave. And in a very shy voice said, “Hi.” Mackenzie was even prettier up close. My preteen brain went into overload.
“Hi, I was wondering if you wanted to hang out next door? My brothers and I are going swimming today at my pond. It’s really clean, and we have a dock to jump off of.”
She smiled brightly at that and turned to her mom, “Can I go?”
Her mom smiled at me and nodded. “Go on upstairs, grab your suit, sneakers, and an extra change of clothes. Don’t forget your towel.”
Mazy looked at me and chirped, “Be right back.” She bounced her way up the stairs. I could see her behind the adults but stopped watching because Mr. Parker cleared his throat again.
“Does she know how to swim?” I asked because I needed to know if I should grab a life preserver.
“Yes, she was on a swim team for a few years. She’s exceptionally good. We just haven’t been in a while, so make sure she doesn’t tire out, okay?” Her mom seemed really nice.
“Sure, my brothers and I are all good swimmers,” I replied proudly. “I promise to keep her safe.” And I meant it. I was raised to be respectful of women and always stand up for them when someone wasn’t treating them properly. My dad was an ass but taught us a woman’s safety is always priority whether you knew that female or not.
Once we got out of the house and started walking through her property to mine, she opened up a little. I was happy to learn she had actually moved here and wouldn’t be leaving anytime soon. She thought it was cool I had a twin and that someone her age lived next door. Mackenzie Parker was the easiest friend I had ever made. Our personalities just meshed, and we had the same sense of humor. That was awesome because my two brothers were more alike and often left me out.
Mazy and I spent that entire summer together hanging out at each other’s houses. We both loved the outdoors and everything that came with it. She loved our horses, and we rode at least once a day. We rotated where we ate dinner, but I could have eaten her grandma’s cooking every day. Mazy was really polite to my mama when she ate at our house, even though the cooking was subpar. My mom could not follow a recipe, and the food always came out strange looking. Not only was it unrecognizable fare, but it also didn’t always taste good either. There were many nights my family would all just stare at their plates before digging in. The hopeful look in my mom’s eyes was all it took for us to pick up our forks and give her latest disaster a try. Needless to say, our dogs all wore a few extra pounds.
Mr. Parker loved having bonfires and always invited my whole family over. My mom and Mazy’s mom were becoming fast friends. Every day when I woke up and my feet hit the floor, all I could think about was meeting up with Mazy. Each time we met halfway, a huge smile lit up her face, so I knew she was as happy to see me as I was her. By the end of that summer, we were best friends who did everything together.
When school started, I was deflated to learn we had zero classes in common. I had one class that was near her locker, and I often waited by it just to say hi. She did the same after her math class that was next to my locker. What sucked worse than no common classes was that both of us played sports and were booked with activities. We went on a few years like this, summers together, and school time apart. By the time I was sixteen and she was fifteen we both had same sex friends and were spending even less time together.
My twin brother, Tupac, who was born Cassius, was the quarterback of the football team and really popular with girls. All of the local people called him Cash, and, of course, that made him even cooler. He had a lot of sex by the time he was sixteen. For some reason, he thought that gave him some weird status in life. Most of those girls wanted to be with Cash for status. I just wasn’t like him and hated all the fake girls who surrounded him.
Joseph was our older brother who was the most serious out of the three of us. He loved farm life and one day wanted to take over ours after my dad. He got the best grades, and did everything my parents asked, when they asked. These things made him the golden son in our parents’ eyes. Joseph was also a ladies’ man but way more subtle about it. Joseph was super smart and used his brains for good and bad.
They razzed me about my lack of sex all the time and made tons of Mazy jokes. This was typical behavior at my house, so it didn’t usually bother me. I got in a fist fight once with Cash because he said he was going to ask Mazy out. Some stupid comment I made to him hurt his feelings and that was his revenge. He knew that was crossing a line and smiled when he said it. We were brutal with one another, but we still had a code of honor.
That comment, however, put me over the edge, and I jumped him. He should have seen it coming, but, alas, he did not. I was whooping him good before he could even think to fight back. I got at least four good hits in before he started rocking my world back. Joseph had a hell of a time breaking us up. The next day, Cash and I both walked into school with black eyes. I do want to note I won that fight. You can’t lose while defending your woman’s honor, and I went at him like a man on fire. Cash had fewer jokes after that and never again crossed that line.
Mazy had grown into her beauty by the age of fifteen and way too many guys were starting to notice what I saw years ago. Her beautiful hair had grown long down her back. I noticed the way her butt stood out in a pair of jeans just calling to my hands to touch it. Her breasts now filled and spilled a bit over her bikini top. Every time she dove in the pond, I prayed her top wasn’t tied tight enough. Being a teenage boy around a gorgeous girl was torturous.
I knew I finally needed to put myself out there and ask her out. There was zero finesse to the way I did it. This was probably due to the fact I wasn’t a hundred percent sure she liked me back in that way. I always got the vibe she did, but it could have been just our connection of being kindred spirits.
My dad had paid half on my beat-up pickup truck when I got my license the previous week. I was proud as hell to be one of the first of my friends to have my driver’s license and a vehicle to drive. Mazy hadn’t seen it yet. When I spotted her in town, I parked along Main Street in a space where she could see me. Mazy was eating an ice cream cone outside of the local diner on a bench. She had her hair up and was wearing a sundress and looked so darn pretty as usual.
Since I was a young dumbass, I took my shirt off in the truck. I worked on a farm. That physical labor did my body well. I had abs and arm muscles not every high school boy had. Mazy had yet to see me shirtless this year, and I thought this might help my goal of attracting her. I could hear in my head one of those hunting shows my dad always watched in my head.
The narrator would say, “Here’s a young homo sapien in his natural environment. He sees a good mate lounging in the afternoon sun. The male puffs up his chest to attract the attention of the female. She is engaged in mealtime and has yet to notice the male exhibiting his mating ritual.”
I got out of my truck to lean against it, crossed my arms, and looked around trying to catch her eye. I was using the reflection from the side of a car across the street to help me change poses for the hardest impact. My body and posture screamed confidence, but inside I was nervous as hell. I wanted Mazy to notice me so bad. Instead, Daphne Davenport, one of the snotty assed cheerleaders, walked by and looked hard at me. Then she turned up her nose and walked on. I heard laughing, and I recognized it coming from the sidewalk.
“She looked quite impressed,” Mazy giggled while eating her ice cream cone.
I flexed, “It’s what I do, impressing ladies.” She laughed harder. “Actually, I can’t stand her, I was just messing around.” I was already chickening out or I would have confessed the show was for her.
“Me either; she is not a pleasant person,” Mazy confessed, possibly a tad too loud, and I laughed. “Are you hot or something?” she asked, looking at my exposed chest. Was that interest flickering in her eyes?
“I, uh, spilled something on my shirt,” I hedged. She appeared to believe that, so I moved forward. “Can I ask you something?” My bravery was back, and I needed to embrace it as it was fleeting. Cash had amped me up for over an hour the night before to ask her out. He was always full of jokes, but he was also a supportive brother and helped me out when I truly needed him. Cash was the brother who could tease me endlessly, but if anyone else did it they would receive his wrath.
She elbowed me with one arm as she shoved the last of her cone in her mouth. Through a mouthful she muttered, “Uh, of course you can.”
“Do you want to go out on a date with me?” Her mouth opened to respond, but I couldn’t stop myself. “It’s okay if you don’t, I like being your friend, and I don’t want you to feel weird or anything. If you just want to be just friends, it's fine. But, I mean if you want to go out on a date with me, I’d take you. So, it’s cool either way.” I was so God damn nervous; my stupid hands were shaking like a dollar store ladder. What did I just say? Whatever it was, I didn't think it helped.
Her face tinged with pink all over, and she looked down. Crap this was not good. Shit, did I just mess us up? I didn’t want to screw anything up. She was my best friend, and I would miss her if she stopped talking to me. My mind was racing on how to backpedal out of this. She surprised me when she looked up at me and replied with, “I like you too.” Mazy understood what I was saying.
It was so shy and sweet, my heart swelled. I wanted to stand up and pump a fist in the air. Instead, I went with cool, leaning back on the bench. “Can I take you to a movie tomorrow?”
“Yes. I have to ask my mom and dad. But I want to go.”
“Call me later and let me know. Do you need a ride home? I just got my truck,” I said pointing over to it.
“Wow, you did it. I didn’t know you would get it so fast. I would love a ride. Cain, this is awesome. Can we put my bike in the back?”
I put her bike in the back and ran over to open her door for her. She got in and looked around like I just picked this truck up from a new car dealer instead of a neighbor’s front yard. I felt so proud in that moment, and I loved that she didn’t turn her nose down at a beat-up truck. Instead, she was just as excited as I was and rubbed her hands lovingly across the interior like I had after picking it up.
She turned to me and smiled huge, “This is freaking awesome.” I felt like the king of the world. And I had my queen riding beside me.
I picked her up promptly at six the following evening. We went to the movies and held hands through the whole thing. I had to rewatch the movie when it came out on video later that year. The entire movie, I was just too elated to have Mazy by my side as my actual date that I missed the whole thing. We had seen movies together before, but this was something new. Her laugh and smile were different in a good way, shyer. They turned me into a besotted man.
After our date, I got her home early so, John, her stepdad, didn't show me his gun again. Once John married her mom, he took over her Pops’ intimidation tactics. He had a much larger supply of firearms and weapons which he showed me, often. John always described what each item had the capability of doing in extraordinary detail. Her family was the kind that let the threat be implied, and I got the implication, loud and clear.
I walked her up to the front door holding her hand. When I turned to her, she looked as happy and nervous as I felt. This seemed like a suitable time to go for the gold. I kissed her gently on the lips and pulled back. Just in case John was watching, I didn’t want to take any liberties. It was a good call because right after that, the outdoor light came on.
“Do you want to be my girlfriend?” All night I had wanted to ask her, but there wasn’t a right time. Okay, there were several moments I could have asked, but I was being a chicken shit.
“Yes,” she whispered, and the front door opened. I was going to call her later to set up our next date.
“Hi, Mr. Douglas,” I said to John as he stepped outside.
“Cain, thank you for having her home on time. Say goodnight, Mazy,” he ordered.
“Talk to you later,” she said and waved to me as she went inside. I didn’t dare get any closer to her in front of John.
After that date, we stayed together until years later. We did everything together and went to each other's games when we didn’t have one of our own. What we discovered was we both had musical talent and started performing together at gigs. People went wild for our duets, and we both loved giving each performance like it was our last. As we graduated, we made huge plans to tour the U.S. together and make music our life. Her parents were supportive, but mine were not. They thought it was a pipe dream that had no long-term substance.
It wasn’t always easy, but we loved each other so much that no obstacle was too big for us. That was, until years later when I had to practically cut off my own arm to give her the life she deserved. I made the biggest mistake of my life that day, and I paid the price every day after. There was a part of me that always thought I could fix it. If I could repair the damage, I could have my dream back and fill in the piece of me that was ripped out so long ago. For now, I was walking around missing a limb and thinking about if I could just get it back. There was nothing I wouldn’t give to have one more shot at it.