We girls laughed the night away after the debacle at the bar. We watched the men slipping and sliding all over the place trying to help Cain’s whores. I was so damn mad when I saw those women sitting on his lap. They were so gross. It was lucky for them I was singing, or chances were high I would have made a scene. The part that bothered me about that though, was the fact that we hadn’t been together in over ten years, and my brain was not acknowledging that bit of info. As I laid in bed that night, I couldn’t stop thinking about him.
I had moved past the incident with Daphne Davenport at the party a few years after I left Nebraska. Pops died while I was out on tour, and I didn’t get the call he was in the hospital until he was already gone. My so-called team had not given me the message. I fired all of the people involved with keeping it from me. They had done it intentionally because every time Pops had a health issue, I would postpone shows and run home. The people I fired didn’t want to lose any money and took away my last moment with him.
I was devastated and couldn’t perform for almost a year after that. There were two albums worth of songs that came out of that period, and seven of them hit number one. It wasn’t just because of Pops but also the other blow I took that week. When I went home for the funeral, I was an absolute mess. We lost Nona three years before to cancer, and it was awful. The pain of losing Pops had me crying for days on end, and I wasn’t sure I could ever stop.
Cain came to the funeral, and I just couldn’t face him. He was in full military regalia, and I knew he had just come in. His whole family stood together close to mine. My heart didn’t have the capacity to think about him at that moment. There were so many people there that it was a good thing the service was outside.
After the eulogy, I fell to my knees next to the casket and lost it in front of everyone. My mom and John tried to console me, but I didn’t know how to live without Pops. I didn’t give a damn about the scene I was making; my heart was shattered. My whole body shook as I leaned my forehead against the casket with my hands gripping the side. You could feel everyone’s sympathy around me, and a few people started sobbing harder as they watched me break down.
A hand reached out and took one of mine, wrapping long, firm fingers around it. It was a hand I held hundreds of times over the years. Cain. I didn’t retreat because it was familiar and comforting. He helped me up and walked me back to stand next to my parents. My body was leaning against his with my head on his shoulder. His hand didn’t release mine until the last tribute was finished being read. His hand, his connection, was the only thing that kept me from breaking into hysterics again.
I left with my parents after that and headed back to Pops’ farm. We were having calling hours there, and people had dropped off several buffets’ worth of food. I greeted everyone and accepted their condolences but couldn’t stay in the crowd. When no one was looking, I slipped out and headed to the pond on the Hendrix family’s farm. I spread out a blanket and sat down on it, staring at the water. From time to time a fish would leap out of the water and back in.
This gave me comfort for a short amount of time before I started sobbing again. I thought I heard a noise but figured I was just getting the echo of my snotty nosed blabbering. Crying never looked good on me, nor did it sound harmonious. A camouflaged set of legs stretched out around mine, and strong arms pulled me back into a muscular chest. It felt old and new at the same time. Cain’s body, when we were last together, was fit and strong, but not like it was now. All the boy parts had turned into man parts, and he felt so good as I leaned back against him.
“He loved you more than anything else, and he wrote you a note. Your mom was looking everywhere to give it to you. I had a feeling you would be here,” he said in a muffled voice in my ear. I just nodded my head. “It’s going to be tough, but it’s going to be okay.”
He continued to talk softly to me until I stopped shaking and the tears stopped flowing. The warm cocoon of his body around mine gave me a comfort as rare as a unicorn. Cain Hendrix was the other half of me, my glue, the best thing since sliced bread. My tears had finally stopped, and I was able to breathe again as I took in my surroundings.
“Why are you here?” I just realized how we were sitting and acting. My back went ramrod straight. It was like no time had gone by, and we were like we used to be. I just fell right into it without thinking. Now I needed to get away from him.
“Mazy, I didn’t stop loving you. There’s no fucking way I would leave you out here alone and sad. I know I hurt you when I didn’t go. My father fucked my head up, and I’m sorry. Joe decided he wanted to go live his best life before taking up the reins at the farm. It was always Joe who wanted to take over the farm. My dad told me he was never coming back and it was on me. I wasn’t good enough at sports to draw recruiters or get scholarships, Cash was. Dad told me we would lose everything if I didn’t do it. The picture he drew me was not pretty, and at the time, I didn’t realize how deep that manipulation ran. I sang that song to hurt you so you wouldn’t be stuck here too. I wanted you to have your dream.”
“I knew that. You didn’t have to hurt me. I would have stayed here until we could figure things out. We could have worked together on the farm and kept doing music locally. Joe was eventually coming home. There were always other options.” I was shaking my head at the man logic in his statement.
“That’s exactly my point, Maze, you would have stayed here. I wanted you to have everything, and I knew you couldn’t do that here. Jesus, look at you. You did it, and I couldn’t be happier for you. I regret hurting you but don’t regret the outcome.” His arms were wrapping around me tight, and I ripped out of them.
All my pent-up feelings made up of anger that had been building for years started bubbling to the surface. I stood and pointed a finger at him. “If you loved me so God damn much, why the fuck did I come back to talk to you, and you were already with Daphne Davenport?”
“What the fuck are you talking about?” He stood up in front of me looking quite confused. Like he didn’t know, ugh.
“Oh no you don’t. I knew what you did with the song. I turned around to talk to you because I knew something wasn’t right. When I went to the party, I found you with no shirt and Daphne rubbing her grubby ass paws all over you. I almost threw up. We didn’t even officially break up and you bumped uglies with my enemy!” My grief had gone out the window and my anger had taken the driver’s seat. If my eyes had lasers, I would have cut him in half with my glare.
“Mackenzie,” he said to me with a parental tone.
“No, don’t Mackenzie me. I saw it with my own eyes.”
I stomped my feet, growled, and started pacing back and forth. Then I just started ranting and raging at him. He tried getting several words in edgewise, but I was on a roll.
“You know, you are such an asshole. When you are a couple, you work together to figure out problems. One person doesn’t decide what’s best for everyone. You talk about options and solutions. But no, not you. And Daphne? Of all people, Daphne Davenport? Ugh, so gross. She used to do it with Brand Belcher behind the bleachers, and he had crabs. I don’t want your hands anywhere near me again, Cain Hendrix. You should have chopped them off after a night with her. I’m surprised they didn’t turn into ash afterwards. Men are the dumbest creatures on the entire planet. That’s why women were created, for brains.”
When he realized I wasn’t going to shut up, he wrapped two arms around my waist to carry me to the water. I was flailing in every direction, but he held on tight and just walked us into the cool water. It was as cold as Antarctica, and I screamed like a banshee as he dropped me in the water.
I shrieked and splashed him, “What the hell did you do that for?”
“You wouldn’t shut the hell up long enough for me to explain.” He backed up as I stood, but I just splashed him again as I stomped my way out of the water.
We walked back to the blanket soaking wet and with me scowling at him. “Now, here’s what happened. I was fucked up when you left, even though it was my fault. I hated what I did and regretted it immediately when I saw your face. It killed me to hurt you, and I didn’t know how to fix it. So, at the party I got drunk and got in a fight with Darryl Davenport. He said a bunch of shit about you, and I didn’t like it. We started fighting. Daphne broke us apart and took me back to get me a clean shirt. He spilled his beer all over me and it was sticky. I thought she was helping me, but she was just trying to get in my pants. That was the part you saw. I shoved her because she wouldn’t stop. She started screaming and acting like I was assaulting her. Cash came back, found me, and got me the hell out of there. You can ask him.”
I scoured his face looking for his lying tells, and I knew all of them. Cain didn’t scrunch his eyes, brows, or chew his lip. He was telling me the truth. I had ignored Cain’s calls for months, and I changed my phone number not long after that. This whole time I was mad at him for nothing.
The stupid Davenports struck again. I never understood the brother and sister duo from the depths of hell. Darryl had been asking me out since middle school, and I just never liked him. He just would not take no for an answer. I was trying my best to not be mean to him and told him in high school I wasn’t allowed to date until I was eighteen. A few months later, I started dating Cain, and Darryl was pissed. Daphne and Darryl kept trying to break us up over the years, which I thought was weird after a certain point.
“I’ve been mad at you for a long time,” I puffed out, now feeling stupid.
“Maze, I would have felt the same way. We didn’t break up, and I would never cheat on you. Who would drive a Pinto if they have a Porsche parked in their driveway? Technically, I think we’re still together.” He raised his brows at me and I had to fight not to smile at him. “I don’t care how far away we were from each other. I would have waited forever for you.”
We stared into each other's eyes for a long moment, both feeling foolish for our mistakes. They had kept us apart for years, and it was all for nothing. Cain broke our moment and started a fire in the pit next to the pond. I gathered up some wood from the tree line. It was a tad too chilly to be soaked, and the rage that warmed me was winding down. Once the fire was blazing, we both sat down, and with one glance, crashed into each other.
We were ravaging each other. Our lips felt perfect together, and I melted when his tongue touched mine. His hands were holding my head in place, and I moaned into his mouth. I didn’t even need him to touch me, I was ready for him. He pulled back and grabbed the hem of my dress. I saw the love and lust in his eyes as he slowly peeled the dress up my body and over my head. The flames inside of me flickered higher as I watched him take in my body.
I’m a team player, so I took my bra off, but I did it lazy and slow. His eyes met mine once he peeled them off my breasts. Cain flashed me a devilish grin right before he dove for me. I shrieked and giggled as his mouth hit my left breast. He was growling and nibbling me in between sucking each nipple into his mouth. I grabbed his head and dug my nails in, which drove him on. One of his hands reached down and ripped my panties off of me like they were made of paper; good God.
He continued his goofy attack down my body. I was turned on, smiling, and giggling. Damn, I had missed this. Everything we did together had always made me smile. We were completely ourselves even while getting it on. The poor fish were getting quite the show. Close your eyes kids, it’s only going to get worse.
My hips thrust up off of the blanket when his mouth hit my special place. I wasn’t sure if he did his ABCs down there, but I always liked the way he did it. He was really good with his mouth. This man held the secrets of my body, and I could tell there wasn’t one he forgot. He added two fingers that worked like a symphony in partnership with his mouth. I was so close but really wanted us to be together for the grand finale.
“Cowboy, it would be really good if we could see that sunset together,” I groaned.
I felt his chuckle vibrate through my nether region. His head moved off of my body, and he looked up at me. “It would be my honor, Ms. Parker. Just let me saddle my horse,” he said, starting to take off his uniform. He threw each piece of clothing over his shoulder haphazardly. One of his boots actually landed in the water. Once he was undressed, he dove on top of me, and we enjoyed the sunset together.
A short time later, we laid our clothes out to dry, and we made love two more times next to the fire. There were so many words said to each other and all of them were filled with remorse over our loss of precious years together. I wanted him back so badly. It just felt right to be with him again. My insides were warm and gooey. You know that feeling you get when you get a puppy, that’s how I was feeling. I loved him as much now as I did back then.
“Maze, I don’t have to re-enlist. My time is up. The only reason I was going to go back in is because you aren’t here.”
“What do you want to do?” I wasn’t sure where he was headed with this, and I wanted it to be truly clear this time around.
“Be with you, anywhere you want to be. If you are going back on the road and want me there, I’m there. If you come back here, I’ll be here with you.” He was so damn sincere, and his light blue eyes were melting my hardened heart.
“I want to finish my tour and make music with you like we planned.” I said it in a way he would know I meant every word. It was still my dream. “I am leaving in three days; can you be ready?”
“Fuck yes. I have suitcases ready to go, I didn’t even unpack.” My heart soared for the first time in years. I threw my arms around his neck, and he spun me in a circle.
After that, we went back to the house and received condolences from our guests. I knew by looking at us, everyone could tell what we had done. Our clothes were a fright after being wet then dried on some grass, and we stunk like wood smoke. Cain’s wet shoe was making a squeaking noise with every step he took. This made it so I didn’t fall back into despair. Instead, I giggled each time someone looked around trying to locate the source of the noise.
Mom found me and looked me over. “Are you okay?” Her eyes were red-rimmed and puffy, just like mine.
“Yeah, now I am. Are you okay?” I asked.
“We are as good as we can be. He would be pissed if he saw us right now. He would send us out to clean the barn until we got ourselves together.” I laughed; she was right. Anytime we had a girl moment, Pops sent us out to do chores. For some reason, it did cheer us up. I don’t think it was the chore but connecting to the animals and nature that set us straight. “Dad would want us to just live our best lives. And he left us both a gift,” Mom said and handed me an envelope with my name on it.
Cain sat with me on the front porch swing as I read the letter from Pops. He held me while I cried and made me laugh after I stopped. My head leaned on his shoulder as we rocked back and forth in comfortable silence. I thought Pops had a hand in sending Cain back to me. We were inseparable for the next two days and only split up so he could handle his personal business before leaving. He was meeting me back at the house at six a.m. for us to finally have what we always wanted.
That morning, I sat there on the hood of my car for four hours calling him non-stop when he didn’t show. I was worried, so I went looking for him. He had checked out of his hotel room already, and the lady behind the counter didn’t know anything else. I went to his parent’s house where his mom informed me he took off for deployment. She seemed surprised I didn’t know and gave me a sad expression as she saw the tears welling up in my eyes. She called my name as I turned and headed down the steps. I ran back to Pops’ house as fast as I could so no one could see me cry.
There was no way he could do this to me again. How? Why would he leave me like this? He didn’t even have the balls to call and say he changed his mind. It was cruel timing, as I was already way too fragile from losing Pops. I couldn’t believe he would leave me when I needed him the most. He wouldn’t, would he?
I flipped through the photos on my phone we took over the past few days. We looked so fucking happy, and I didn’t understand. I believed every promise he made me those two days, and he just broke every single one, again. I was such an idiot. He broke me twice without batting an eye. I thought he meant what he said. The way we felt together was amazing, and I thought, he too, felt our powerful connection. Once again, I drove away from my home in a blur of tears and heartbreak.
A few weeks went by before he finally did call, but I blocked him. For days after his abandonment I had checked my phone non-stop thinking it would ring any day. Day after day passed by and there was nothing. My phone was definitely working. I checked. I had Jen call me just to be sure I didn’t have a phone issue. She even drove me to a payphone to call his phone without him knowing it was me. It went straight to voicemail. My cellphone was almost fused to my body for two weeks. I was getting pathetic and finally gave up.
I had come to peace with the fact he left me and wasn’t coming back. He had crushed me for the last time. When I saw his name flash across my screen, I almost picked it up. There was a moment I had forgotten what he had done, and I was excited. But I couldn’t do it again no matter how badly I wanted to. He had made a fool out of me not once, but twice. I was done with him. This time it hurt way worse, and I didn’t think I could ever forgive him.
It was only two months later that I found out I was pregnant, and I only told Jen about it. My plan was to unblock Cain and tell him, but my heart was still bleeding. I was terrified when I first found out but was quickly at the point where I was falling in love with the baby inside of me. I would sing and rub my belly all the time. When I was in bed at night, I would talk endlessly to our baby. Jen and I had gone to look at baby clothes even though I had no clue what I was having.
I was about to reach the fourth month of my pregnancy, and I knew I needed to tell Cain. A week before I planned to make the call, I had a miscarriage. In a few short months, I had lost too many people. I had laid down for a nap and woke up in a pool of blood. My house cleaner was the one who heard me scream, and she called the ambulance. Jen held my hand in the hospital as I shattered into dust. That girl had seen my darkest days and worried about me incessantly. Jen was my rock and a true best friend.
I fell into a deep depression and yelled at God every day. He took everyone and everything I loved from me. My father hated me, the love of my life ditched me twice, my best guy passed away, my baby, Cain and mine’s baby was gone, and my heart needed a break. I would have given up the music, the career, and all the money to have Cain, Pops, and my baby back.
Jen is the one who came by my place after a frustrating eight months with my miserable ass and tossed a glass of water over my head. I was on my couch in dirty clothes, and I had not showered in a week. Pizza stains covered the blanket I was laying under, and my hair was a rat’s nest. There were black and white movies playing non-stop on the TV. The takeout containers I couldn’t bear to clean up had stacked up on the floor around the couch amongst piles of water bottles.
She yelled at me and informed me my grandfather would be pissed seeing me like this. I was also informed that I looked like a bad episode of Hoarders and that I stunk. She carried on for a long time before she ran out of steam. Jen was right. Pops taught me it is not about falling down, it’s your ability to keep getting back up that counts. He would be disappointed, and I was stronger than this. I had been to hell and back. There’s no way I couldn’t find a way to get back up one more time.
Jen stayed at my house for a week cleaning up my place and getting me back to a normal functioning adult. She made sure my feet were starting to move forward before taking her foot off the gas.
Instead of wallowing, I wrote music for the next four months and poured all my emotions into it. There were a few of my live performances that included actual tears and breaks in my voice. My pain was on display for all to see. These performances were my most watched online. People around the world talked about crying with me and how much my music touched their lives. There were comments of love and support for me. Every song was a hit and it skyrocketed me to a new celebrity status. I knew Pops would be proud of how I got back up.
It was three in the morning, and I was still thinking about the last time I saw Mazy. We had worked out our issues in a few hours’ time. She had forgiven me and was willing to give me another chance. I was on cloud nine being back with her. Just the sound of her voice was a balm to my soul. We spent a couple of days talking and planning for our new adventure. I remember exactly how I felt the night before we were going to leave, exhilarated. We were finally getting our dream. I said goodbye to Mazy, setting our plan to meet in the morning.
After that, I checked out of my hotel and intended to stay at my mom’s home for the night. Both of my brothers were around, so we had a family dinner. Joe lived here but Cash and I were home on a rotation. I didn’t bother telling them about my plans because I wasn’t in the mood to hear anyone else’s thoughts on it. Instead, I let everyone else fill in the conversation gaps.
It was great catching up and laughing with them as adults. We still shoved each other to race to the dinner table or to the door. Mom was excited to have us all home at the same time and get caught up with us. We ate, played cards, and had a few beers before I got up to go retire. I told them I had to leave in the morning without giving a reason and went to bed early.
At midnight, Cash burst into my room and shook me awake. Tristan and the boys were in serious trouble. The boys were on a mission that was fairly standard and didn’t require more than five men. Something went wrong and now all five of them were in dire straits. No one had a clue what the issue was, just that it was a 9-1-1 type of issue. Gage had called saying to meet him at the airport in Texas, Seamus would meet us there to fly out.
I wasn’t thinking and grabbed a few things, following Cash out the front door. My cellphone was on the nightstand next to my suitcases when we left. I was half asleep and wasn’t thinking of anything but helping our brothers. Our escape plan for the men was supposed to be a two-day ordeal, and it turned into three weeks. My superiors forced me to re-enlist just to be able to go, and I was pissed. I did not like the so-called choice they gave me; they knew if they threatened me which route I would go. There’s no way I would ever leave a man behind.
Gage, Cash, Seamus, and I camped in the woods doing recon and planning for two weeks before we even made a move. It was so hot you would sweat from the time you woke up until you went to bed. There were endless bugs that were swarming around our heads. Many of those bugs were the kind that bite. Along with the flying nuisances, there were snakes. The snakes out here were not the kind that kept rodents away from your home. These ones were as thick as my arms and as long as Ace is tall. I fucking hated this place.
I was not in the right frame of mind to be out here. My chest had been tight since I realized I left my phone behind. Since cell phones were a thing, I didn’t memorize her number. Mazy would think I abandoned her a second time. Then again, maybe she wouldn’t. I would call her and explain the second I got back. Those few days together were the best and there was no way she couldn’t know I loved her.
Cash hit me on the shoulder, “You got to shake it off.”
“I fucking left her again. I forgot my phone. I can’t even tell her. She was waiting for me.”
He looked perplexed, “Who? What are you talking about?”
“Mackenzie, we were leaving together. I didn’t call her. She’s going to think I fucked her over, again.”
“Shit,” Cash’s face fell. “Brother, you two have loved each other forever. She will never not forgive you. She will give you a ton of shit, but she will come around.”
I growled and stomped away to my tent to get ready for the morning. He just didn’t get it. I couldn’t explain to him with words how I felt the first time I destroyed her. It was by the grace of God or her Pops that brought us together a second time. I was not a religious man, but I spent every night praying that she would forgive me. The fear she wouldn’t had non-stop adrenaline pumping through my veins.
When we arrived at the holding location, I went full Rambo, which was usually Ace’s style not mine. What could have taken several more days, took an hour with my current mood. As enemies popped up, I had assault rifles in each arm, and I was not missing. Was it safe? Probably not, but it worked.
Gage just joined me while screaming, “Yippee-ki-yay motherfuckers!” He covered my back with two firearms of his own as I went nuts. Cash was cussing me out over the headset all the way up until we went home.
I felt some relief when we found the men all alive and fairly well. They were being kept in some rural safehouse. It had not been kept up and was disgusting inside. Ace and Boss had both been shot, which was the huge issue, and the reason they didn’t escape on their own. I was worried about the cleanliness of their wounds and possibility of infections. We got them out and back to the U.S. as fast as we could manage. Doc was waiting for us on the airstrip and went to work on them. There was no doubt Doc saved them as they were in worse shape than they looked.
Boss pulled me aside after about a week on base. “What’s going on?”
“Nothing,” I said in a way that indicated that statement was a big fat lie.
“Come on. Anything you say will not leave this room,” he replied, ignoring my attitude.
“I fucking lost her again. She isn’t going to come back after this. My mom mailed me my phone, and she blocked me.” I was pacing and walking hard.
“Whoa, backup a little bit here. I assume we are referring to Mackenzie Parker, right?”
So, I gave him the story and didn’t hold back. Boss was a good man, and I could tell he felt bad to be part of the reason I was miserable. He didn’t need to be, the man saved my ass so many times that he was technically the reason I was alive today. I wouldn’t change a thing about repaying the favor one time. In all of our years, I saved his ass once and sacrificed everything for him. I would do it again, but the loss of my happy future was killing me.
“Fuck. Duck, I can talk to her and explain if you think that will help. Whatever you need, just tell me what you want me to do.”
“She blocked me and isn’t on tour. I called her parents, and John is gatekeeping. I think her mom would give me info, but John won’t even let me talk to Sarah. John won’t tell me where Mazy is and suggested I let her go peacefully,” I ground out. I had the utmost respect for John, but he had to know I couldn’t just let her go. For fuck’s sake, I just got her back. I was pacing at a frantic speed and running my hands through my hair.
“Shit. Well, when she goes on tour we can go. Seamus will get us there; you just say where and when. I know a few people, and we will get in there.”
“Yeah, thanks. I don't want you to feel any kind of way about this. I wouldn’t change a thing, ever. I have more respect for you than my own father and would die for you, man,” I grunted, hating mushy stuff.
“Same. And I got you on whatever you want to do. She will come around if you are as passionate about each other as you think. There ain’t anything we can’t do,” he chuckled, and I agreed. “Every man here will throw down.”
The problem was, we got a call to handle some other mess our government made and were gone another year. After that we were back and forth the following year, and it never lined up with Mazy’s tour dates. We were in our last year and planning to retire when I got the news that rocked my world. I was back in my hometown to look at property with the team.
My mom had cooked breakfast and turned on the morning news. I hated the news because it was always bad and not always accurate. When they started covering celebrity news I heard Mazy’s star name, Maya Midnight, and my head perked up. I stopped eating and my fork clanged on my plate when they mentioned she married her manager. There was a picture of them smiling together and looking happy. My whole world shattered in one sentence and photo. This was not news I was ready for, and I got up in the middle of breakfast and walked out the front door with my mom calling my name. I didn’t look back, just kept going.
I rode my favorite horse, Jasper, out to the field where I first saw her all those years ago. It felt like yesterday and the heart in my chest felt more broken than ever. Her manager was a pompous ass, and it was obvious to anyone who watched him in an interview. That guy was not the man for her, I was, and I couldn’t wrap my brain around it. My head was officially fucked up in a way I wasn’t sure I could fix. I rode for about two hours and returned Jasper to the barn. He was a happy guy after I brushed him down and gave him a few snacks.
Next, I went to the train tracks to scream as the trains went by. It was in some movie I saw, and I actually found it helpful. After that, I walked over to a liquor store and bought a cart full of stuff. It was all too much for one man, but in that moment, I had a death wish. It was a good thing my wallet was in my back pocket when I walked out this morning. My cell was still on my mom’s table so there would be no interruptions. I rented a hotel room a few blocks down from the liquor store and checked in.
It was three days after I arrived at the hotel that I heard a knock on the door. “There’s a do not disturb sign on the door for a reason,” I yelled. The maids had come here every day trying to clean. They would talk loudly outside my door offering towels and new bedding when I started ignoring their knocking. I didn’t want to see anyone and didn’t need anything cleaned.
“Yeah, and I’ll kick the damn thing down. The room is on your credit card. I won’t have to buy it, you will,” Ace called back.
Of all people, I wasn’t expecting Ace. He was a good man, but not my best friend. Gage and Blaze were usually who I hung around with. Ace was a mostly quiet man, a brilliant inventor, and the biggest of all of us. It surprised me that he showed up, and, because I was drunk and curious, I opened the door a crack.
He pushed the door open, knocking me to the floor because I was so drunk I could barely walk, let alone stand upright very long. I rubbed the back of my head even though I couldn’t feel a thing. I just knew it would hurt later. He helped me up and walked me to one of the double beds. I saw him glance at the TV and look confused when he saw black and white movies playing. Travis Tritt’s “Tell Me I Was Dreaming” was playing on a small radio on the coffee table.
“What the fuck? Your mom called, and she is about to file a missing person’s report. We advised her to wait on that,” Ace said with a monotone voice as he looked around the room slightly disgusted. When I didn’t respond, he picked up his phone and sent off a text. “Talk.”
“Life is fucked up. Romeo and fucking Juliet. She’s moved on,” I slurred.
I was a mess and realized that talking was helping me, so I gave him the Mazy and Duck story. It was hard to tell if he could understand me because I couldn’t feel my lips or tongue anymore. I also added several side stories in the middle. He just listened and would nod from time to time to let me know he was hearing me. I poured us drinks as I carried on and he drank every one. He said nothing while I cried and didn’t make me feel like a weak idiot for doing it in front of him. I had no idea when we passed out that night.
The following morning there was another knock on the door, and I opened one eye to look at the clock. It was six in the damn morning and there was no way I was going to answer it. Ace popped up and went to the door. He turned, looked at me, and gave me a head nod. Even though he stepped outside, I could still hear hushed arguing through the door. It was Blaze and Gage for sure.
Ace came back ten minutes later. “You want company?” I shook my head in a resounding no. “Yeah, I didn't think so. I told them to give you a few days.” I was so relieved for a second, then went right back to sleep.
That day we had food delivered. I cried again and was starting to feel like a little bitch about it. Ace didn’t even act like he noticed, he just sat and listened to me tell him about our entire history for hours on end. We drank all day and night, starting over again the following day.
For two days straight I babbled on and on. At some point, I finally ran out of sadness gas. Once all the bottled-up emotion I had was released, he started cracking jokes. The thing most don’t know about Ace is he is a really funny guy. It’s rare he lets us see that side, but when he does, it's hilarious.
“I once wrote a song about a tortilla, but it was more of a wrap,” he carried on.
He cracked more dad jokes than anyone should ever know. We laughed until our stomachs hurt. Then he told me stories of his youth, how he got his name, and what he wanted in his life. It was similar to mine; except he hadn’t met his “it” girl yet and wasn’t sure he ever would. I had seen firsthand some of the women he picked up. None of them understood Ace and most talked too much because he was a quiet guy. Needless to say, he had a hard time doing long-term relationships with women.
I never knew his parents sent him to a place with gifted kids, and they hooked him up to machines like a test rat. His mom pulled him out after a year, and he explained how he had to pretend to be less smart at regular school. He had a challenging time being himself and didn’t socialize well. It was difficult when you had to pretend to be something you're not.
I was so engrossed in his story that I forgot my problems. This was the first time I heard him talk for hours on end, and at that point in time, I didn’t want him to ever stop. He fit in with our group so well that I never considered what someone like him went through in his regular life. Ace was our go to guy when the chips were down. He could create weapons on the fly with whatever surrounded us. I couldn’t ever count how many times he got a broken-down vehicle to run, with no tools.
And without Ace those few days, I might have drunk myself to death. Instead, he actually brought me back to life. He stuck it all out with me, and I saw him so differently than before. I always thought he was a brilliant guy and completely invaluable. Over those few days he became my family. I knew I had another real brother that I didn’t even know I needed. There was nothing I wouldn’t do for him in return.
The next day there was more knocking, and I groaned. Despite the fact yesterday was rather good compared to the other days, I wasn’t quite ready for company. Ace got up once again with a small stumble because his drunkenness from the night before had not worn off yet. The time on the clock indicated we only slept three hours.
He opened the door and yelled, “What?”
Boss was standing there with a grin plastered on his face. “First, y’all smell like five-day-old grease and a brewery. Second, your mother is threatening to call the police if I do not produce you at some point today. The lovely Mrs. Hendrix also threatened to call my momma if I don't give you up. She now believes we have murdered you and has missing person posters ready to be printed. This means I got a twenty-minute lecture meant for you about the fact you have not done a family photo in over ten years. She’s using your high school football picture for the poster man, the one from freshman year.”
Ace was chuckling hard now, and I was smiling too, despite my pounding headache. I groaned and ran a hand through my hair. “Fuck. I will call her in an hour. Do not let her put up even one poster, I had braces.”
Boss was having way too much fun with this. “I know, it was my favorite part other than the Mohawk with spikes. I also saw all of your baby pictures.” Ace burst out laughing at that. “We have a meeting soon, and you two fucking need to take long showers. Meet us in three hours at our hotel because no way am I doing it here.” He scrunched his nose and turned his gaze directly on me. “You good? If you need to sit this out, all you need to do is say so.”
“I’m good. We will be there,” I said, still laughing to myself.
After he left, Ace and I showered, then headed to our own places to change. He helped me clean up the room so the maid wouldn’t faint at the sight of the place. We also left her a huge tip to make me feel better about the rest of the mess.
Before Ace left he turned to me to ask again, “Is the situation handled? I could do at least two more days, tops.”
Even though on the inside there was a lot still going on, I was good because he helped me get there. “Yeah, we don’t want her to call your mom too.” Now that I had gotten out the bulk of my anger and initial shock, I needed to keep as busy as possible. “Thank you,” I said, and it was the sincerest thanks I had ever given.
“No need. You’re my brother. Shit goes sideways again, I’m around.” On that, he walked to his car and took off. Ace was easily one of the best men I ever met in my life. He came right in with my brothers and Tristan as the men I respect the most.