Lowell entered Buddy’s office and sat down. “Where’s your partner?”
“Ralph? He’ll be here in a minute. What’s this all about?”
“I’d rather wait until I have you both together.”
A moment later the door opened and Ralph entered, still no smile. He looked out of place in this happy-go-lucky environment.
“Buddy, what’s this all about? I’ve got a lot to do.”
Buddy pointed to Lowell and shrugged. “I don’t know. He wanted to see us both.”
“Well, Mr. Lowell?” asked the tall, skinny man.
“The FBI grabbed Harriet and her brother.”
Buddy stood up. “That’s wonderful news, just wonderful. So we’ll get our pension fund back?”
“Well, there’s a problem,” said Lowell. “They only admit to having two million of the six million you claim is missing.”
Buddy sat back down. “So what, they’re lying. Obviously they’re trying to hold on to some of it.”
Lowell shook his head. “I don’t think so. I think they’re both so scared of prison that they’ll be willing to trade anything, including each other, to shorten their sentences. No, they would give up every dime not to do the time.”
“Well,” said Ralph, “then what do you think happened?”
“Someone else stole the other four million hoping Harriet and her brother would just disappear and nobody would ever notice.”
Ralph sat down. “That’s a fascinating theory. But who could have done that?”
“Well,” said Lowell, “there aren’t too many people who were in a position to do so. There was Harriet, of course. She and her brother could have moved some of the money somewhere else. But like I said, I don’t think so. There are the other two suspects that you gave me when you first hired me. But I don’t think either one of them did it.”
Buddy was so engrossed he didn’t eat a single marshmallow. “So,” he asked, “who did it?”
Lowell smiled. He looked each of them in the eye. “Why, one of you two, of course.”
Ralph was the first to react. “Are you kidding?” Still no smile. “Why would we?”
“Greed,” said Lowell.
Ralph pointed at his partner. “Buddy, have you been a bad boy?”
“What? I didn’t take it.” He turned to Lowell. “What’s this all about? You think I stole the money?”
Lowell shook his head. “Actually, I don’t.”
“Well then who…”
Lowell looked at Ralph. “Do you drive an SUV?”
“No,” replied the tall, skinny man. “I drive a VW.”
“Why do you want to know that?” asked Buddy.
“Someone driving a tan SUV tried to run me over the other day after I left here.”
Buddy looked ill. “My sister drives a tan SUV. And he takes it to work sometimes.” He turned to his brother-in-law. “Why, you rat bastard. You stole the money! How could you? Wait until my sister hears about this.”
Ralph sat down, leaned back in the chair, and smiled for the first time in Lowell’s presence. It wasn’t a warm smile. “Wait until your sister hears about this? Your sister planned the whole thing. Once I told her that there was money missing from the pension fund, she came up with the idea of taking the rest of it.”
Buddy wasn’t smiling.
“Dolly was in on it?”
Ralph nodded, enjoying himself immensely.
Buddy looked pale. He was breathing heavily and holding his left arm.
“Are you alright?” asked Lowell.
Buddy turned and looked at him. “What do you think? Would you be?” He looked at Ralph with disgust. “I’ll see you in jail, you thief.”
Ralph leaned forward in the chair and pointed a finger at Buddy. “Yeah? Are you going to have your sister arrested too? That’d be nice. I’m sure your eighty-five-year-old mother would like that.”
“You son-of-a-bitch.”
“You know what you’re going to do?” said Ralph. “You’re going to tell the FBI that there was an accounting mistake and the four million is in another account. Then you’re going to forget this ever happened.”
“You better hope the old lady lives a long time. Why the fuck would you do it?”
“Because I’m sick to death of this business. Marshmallows, that’s all I hear about. You stuff your face all day long with these nauseating little things. You’re disgusting.”
“I’m disgusting? You’re a Goddamn thief and a liar.”
“At least I’m not a fat little toad.”
Buddy’s breathing was erratic. “You’re a mean, nasty man. If you ever smiled, I think your face would fall off. You look like an undertaker.”
“Pig.”
“Undertaker.”
“Marshmallow toad.”
Buddy’s face grew bright red. He got up from the chair and walked around the desk. Without warning he grabbed Ralph out of his chair and threw him on the ground. Then he leaped on top of him and started pummeling him with his fists.
“You bastard!” he shouted, as he repeatedly smacked his brother-in-law in the face.
The door opened and several people who had heard the commotion entered.
“Oh my God, what’s happening here?” asked the receptionist.
Buddy was slamming Ralph’s head into the floor.
A few of them grabbed Buddy and pulled him off of Ralph, whose face showed the results of Buddy’s attack. His nose was bleeding and his left eye was swollen shut.
Lowell stood. “I’ll send you my final bill.” Then he eased himself out of the office and left.