They ate breakfast in their spot, side by side, in silence only heightened by birdsong.
‘Tomorrow they launch Saviour 10. They’re calling her Faith. She’ll blast off from Florida.’
‘Have you practised your dance?’ Mae said.
‘I know every step. Every spin. Every thrust.’
‘Thrust?’
‘I’m gonna slay,’ Stella said, then took a big bite of toast. Mae reached across and dabbed butter from her sister’s cheek. It was the only time she was reminded of her tender years. They could talk relative velocity and kinetic energy, but still Stella could not eat without making some kind of mess.
‘Did you ever think maybe I wanted to butter my cheek?’
Mae walked to the edge of the cracked patio, stepped onto the grass and breathed the summer air.
‘There’s no planes,’ Stella said as they walked to school.
Mae looked up at the quiet sky.
Lady kept pace with them, occasionally sneezing.
‘I think she’s allergic to you,’ Stella said.
‘That’s not a thing.’
They passed an old couple, eyes on the sky as usual, a dog walker. Stella stopped to pet the collie, knelt in front of it and looked as happy as Mae had ever seen her.
Lady growled.
Stella told her not to be jealous.
‘It’ll be okay, you know,’ the dog walker said.
Stella looked like she might cry, so Mae placed an arm around her. ‘What shall we do this summer?’
‘We’ll go to Hawaii and wear grass skirts.’
‘And I’ll play the ukulele while you sing about rainbows.’
At the gate Stella hugged her for longer than usual.
‘Dress rehearsal today.’
‘Yes.’
‘Be brilliant, Stella.’
At Sacred Heart Mae arrived to a cluster of kids. She found Felix at the back.
‘What’s going on?’
‘The caretaker didn’t show. The gates are locked.’
‘So what do we do now?’ Candice said.
Hunter shrugged. ‘We wait for my dad.’
‘Or we go to the beach,’ Hugo said.
Mae wondered if he knew about his father and Abi, guessed he didn’t, not the detail, just that his father was the kind of man who did what he pleased. Mae had spent the night lying on the roof watching the stars. She reasoned it was likely Abi had jumped. Maybe she hadn’t told Jon Prince she was pregnant, maybe she’d stolen Hunter’s necklace and pawned it for the cash to take care of the problem herself. There were many variables, but the only constant was that Abi had found herself in an impossible situation.
They turned as a collective and began to walk away from the school.
Felix headed home to check on his father.
‘You mind if we stop at my place first?’ Sail said, appearing beside her.
‘Forgot your trunks? No, you just swim in the suit, right.’
It wasn’t till they walked through the towering gates that she realised it was a trap.
Flowers lined the driveway.
Rose petals were laid out in a trail.
Mae glanced at Sail, he walked on oblivious, like it was nothing to do with him. ‘You know I don’t like this.’
‘I know.’
They followed the trail past the weeping willows, the heavenly scents, the garden awash with colour. Down past the infinity pool, the pathway carved into the rock.
She saw a small white motorboat at the end of the jetty.
‘No grand gestures,’ she said.
‘It was this or I burned down your house.’ He took hold of her hand and led her.
She stepped down into the boat. He pulled the cord and the engine gently hummed.
Sun caught the water. She kept her mind on the sky, on the hurtling end to keep the perfect day far from reach.
They moved off slowly, following the curve of the shore, passing the towering mansions, Hugo’s house came into view, Hunter’s in the distance.
Sail sat at the front, the wind in his hair. She noticed the hamper beside her.
Mae trailed a hand in the wake, the water cool against the soaring heat.
They passed the cliffs, white rock so sheer. The steeple of St Cecelia, the way it stood proud above the vista, the town looked spectacular enough that she could not tear her eyes from it, not even when the engine cut and Sail turned to face her.
They lay back, heads at either end of the boat as they pitched over gentle waves. Sail had had the good sense to pack wine but no glasses, so they passed the bottle back and forth.
They ate sandwiches and fancy crisps and chocolate cake so good she kept most of her piece for Stella.
‘You know I’m going to ask you,’ he said.
‘I know.’
‘You want me to get it over with now or wait?’
‘Let’s wait.’
She splashed her hand in the sea, brought it to her lips and tasted the salt on her fingers. The waves calmed till they stopped drifting, far enough from shore that they could have been the last people in the ocean.
‘Three days,’ she said, like she needed to break the perfect apart.
They saw another boat, this one older but the paint looked fresh.
It came slowly, so close Mae stood when she saw Mr Starling at the wheel.
She raised a hand, he saw her and slowed right beside them.
Sail stood and guided the motorboat closer, took a line and tied it off.
He helped Mae climb over, then sat back and bobbed with the waves.
‘Of all the places in all the seas,’ Mr Starling said.
She looked at the small deck, then down to the cabin below. She saw canned food, a sleeping bag and a case of wine. Beside that was a container of diesel.
‘Are you taking a trip?’
‘I mean, my boat can’t compete with yours.’
She looked over at Sail, who was lying back in the sun, his eyes closed to the sky.
‘How’s school?’ he said.
‘I’m in a boat on a Tuesday morning.’
He laughed.
She sat on the edge, ran a hand over the polished wood. ‘I found out some things about Abi.’
‘Oh.’
‘I’m not sure what to do about it.’
He sat beside her. He looked older then, like he’d lived too many lives. ‘I read Abi’s paper. In the service book. The Forevers.’
‘Yeah,’ she said.
‘Even in death she’d get top marks. She was a brilliant student, Mae. With everything going on, she didn’t miss a paper, didn’t ever drop a grade.’
‘So what are you saying?’
He smiled. ‘Sometimes the fallout, it’s too great. If we can’t rewind time, do we sully the future?’
‘I’m not sure I understand.’ She watched a razorbill swoop, clutch at the water but come up empty handed. ‘So I do nothing. I can’t bring Abi back –’
‘You’re tough, Mae. Stronger than anyone I’ve ever met.’
‘You’re not making any sense.’ She looked around again, his life all packed up. ‘When will you be back, Mr Starling?’
He smiled but said nothing, and then she got it.
‘You’re not coming back?’
‘None of us are, Mae. Despite what they say.’ He reached into the cabin and took a framed photo from the side. ‘My wife. She’s all I ever had, and all I ever needed. So I’ll aim my boat at the endless, and maybe I’ll take my Forever back.’
‘Saviour 10. Will it work?’
She could see him weighing options, but knew he would not lie to her.
‘No, Mae. It won’t. Not for us.’
She nodded, and then she stepped forward and hugged him briskly.
Sail helped her back.
She watched the small fishing boat till the horizon took it.
As the cliffs parted he eased the boat towards the rocks. She was about to ask when they rounded the furthest, and then she saw it. The cave mouth was low and he guided the boat with skill that told her how different their lives had been.
They went from sun to shade, the light cut to almost pitch black before she lay back and gasped.
‘I didn’t even know this was here, right beneath us,’ she said.
Minerals caught what little light made it through and sparkled like lost treasure.
He sat beside her as they floated in the hidden world.
They lost an hour watching the colours before they headed back.
As they approached the jetty she turned to him. ‘Thank you.’
‘For what?’
‘Not asking me to the Final today.’
‘You said no, and I respect that. But could you do me a favour and not turn around.’
Mae turned, and on the jetty she saw it. The banner was large and crudely painted.
MAE AND SAIL.
THE FINAL?
‘Stella helped me. And Felix tied it there.’
‘Judas bastard.’
She looked up at the looming house, the tended grounds, and then down at her worn sandals, chipped polish on her nails.
‘You know no good can come of this,’ she said.
‘I do.’
Mae suffered the inconvenience of falling in love three days before the world would end.
They lay on the deck and kissed.
She placed a hand on his chest, he placed a hand on her back.
She liked the way he said her name, the only way it could be said but from his lips it sounded better. His lips, full and pink.
They drank cold beer.
‘I like the stars,’ Sail said.
‘I used to want their lives, girls like Sally and Abi. I used to want their … symmetry. Their parents, their parents’ jobs. Their cars and their holidays. Their hopes didn’t seem like dreams.’
‘And now?’
‘Now I just want to fix them.’
He kissed her and she thought of ice cream and vodka and lemon sherbet. Of perfectly cooked steak and pizza and tacos.
‘What shall I eat for my last supper?’ she said.
He went quiet in that way he sometimes did. He took her hand in his and she slipped it from him and he looked at her.
They talked politics and he spewed his father’s opinions like they were his own. He adopted a posher accent and wagged a finger and talked about Iran and the crisis, Syria and plights. But she could hear the passion beneath, he cared, his cheeks flushed.
She climbed on top of him and kissed him and they discarded their clothes.
Mae ran her fingers up his arm, over the track of small scars, the times he had tried to say goodbye to their world.
I love you too much, she wanted to say.
Why did you make me do that?